The Gold-one & Crash Dilemma

one of jwr's lousy fairy tales Once upon a time there were two gentlemen, who had bought themselves an old printing press and the monopoly to print all the money in the world. They named it Gold-one & Crash, but had to rename it in Gold-one & Cash for practical reasons. Anyway they managed to print so much bills they one day owned 80% of the cash money and 1% of the world's gold. As soon as Gold-one found out about this fact he said to Crash: Hey Joe!. He always named other people Joe for practical reasons, because we didn't want to waste time in remembering names. Hum. Hey Joe! Each time we print some of these brand new, wonderful greenbacks the gold-price is rising. Why don't we buy some more gold and earn some real money? Well.... He always said Well... while he was thinking. Well, you know.... He always said You know... while he was pumping some blood into his arteries and filling his lungs with some fresh air to raise his voice. He pumped and he pumped. His head, it became red and his eyes protruded from their half-sleeping eyelids. He was 104 years old, you know. Well, you know, he said after a few minutes, raising his head, your brain is still asleep. You never learned thinking. Where did you copy your doctor's theses from? You are a bloody fool. Crash grumbled and his face returned into a blurred blueish background, be he continued his lecture. Listen, young man, if you buy 10% of the freely available world's gold the gold-price will be doubled. And what happens next? Our assets will be increasing by the wealth we accumulated by the raising gold-price!, Mr. Goldone smiled triumphantly. Crash started pumping again. His head reached a ketchup-color and seemed to near the collapsible status. Young man, he repeated, if the gold-price doubles our cash money will be halved Don't you understand? It is a pity that our universities and high-schools are producing herds of sheep, which doesn't even understand the simplest categories of economical thoughts. Gold-one blushed but after a second had to courage to suggest: Why then don't we sell the last percent of gold, to raise the cash value? Crash started pumping again and both could hear the artificial pacemaker raising the pneumatic pump's frequency. The heart valves doubled their Click-A-dee clacks, but both men overheard the sound. Their hearing aids had been turned down to filter the superfluous noise from the good news of raising share prices. His face turned blue with some red stripes and his face began to look like the Stars and Stripes. This, Mr. Gold, is.... He always said Mr. Gold instead of Mr. Gold-one. .... one of the first...., he paused for a while to take a deep breath. ... the first reasonable idea... - pause - ...I ever hear from your mouth. But you see...

You see, ... we can't sell the last percent, because people will think we are broke and needing the money.... But never mind, let's try something new and sell our last percent... Let's... Let's see what's going to happen.... Gold-one took his laptop and logged in to his favorite broker. Hey Joe, he said, We've got some gold to be sold..... We already know he always named other people Joe for practical reasons, because we didn't want to waste time in remembering names. But that's another story. Now, dear children, the fairy tale has come to an end. This is what happened up to now. We will have to wait till tomorrow to find out what will happen next. Now don't be nasty and go to sleep. All will be doing well. Pray that Mr. Goldman and Crash have a good cup of sleep and tomorrow I will proceed with the story where we halted today.