Diary Fragments

Beating up against the Wind

jwr47

Decisive Turns
Life is an endless chain of events, most of which must be considered as common milestones connecting a couple of turns. Philosophers sometimes say the number of turns in a standard lifetime never exceeds ten to twenty events. The turns are the milestones decisively colored red, mar ing special events. !ou may be born, go to school, marry, divorce, remarry, loose a partner, buy a house, get sic and die. That"s a description of a median life. The shortest biographical novel has been written by #nderson as a series of five decisive turnarounds$ %# duc once arrived from Portugal, but there were some who said she came from &pain, which is almost the same thing. #t all events, '() she was called the *Portuguese,* and '+) she laid eggs, ',) was illed, and '4) coo ed, and '-) there was an end of her(. % . didn"t want to be so short and tried to remember as much as could be reconstructed from the bits and pieces. The first step was to reproduce all details and gather all available information from records to sort the events in diaries. . probably needed (/0+/ data files + to collect the information between birth and today. #t that stage . started to condense the autobiographical records and eliminated trivialities. This way the turning points and the decisive turnarounds crystalli1ed from the diaries. To my surprise . identified one of the events as the most decisive turn in my life, although . never would have expected this thing as so important. The date ++ th of 2ebruary (37( 4 now labeled %5oitus .nterruptus of the Third Kind6 largely had been forgotten and was found to have delayed my last exam for some months. 7ue to the interruption my exam had to be postponed beyond the The 8ixon &hoc of the (- th of #ugust (37(. 9nemployment did spread over the globe and companies closed their doors for new applicants. #fter some unsuccessful solicitations . found a job in southern :ermany, where the automotive industry seemed to be the industrial center of the last resort. The company '#;:0 Telefun en) had been one of the master initiators of the technical evolution, but was struggling in a survival and had to be dismantled. 9naware of these problems . decided to stay aboard and survived all of the turnarounds up till today. #nd this story 4 probably a condensed and enriched form of biographical turning points 4 may not be spectacular. .t is a <uiet and simple life, but it"s my life.

( The Portuguese 7uc 0 .m ;ntenhof, #ndersen, +47 + 7iary fragments

Life as a journey
Life may be seen as journey and . learned most impressive boo s may be seen as biographical journeys$ the =omer"s Odyssee, >oyce"s Ulysses, 5?line"s Journey to the End of the Night, #ndr? :ide"s Counterfeiters, @arcel Proust"s In Search of Lost Time, &tendhal"s Le ouge et le noir !!! &tudying literature . aimed to analy1e my own life by investigating the ey events which had been identifiable as the crucial ey0turns. .nitially it may seem to be simple to identify these ey0events in your own life, but it isn"t. . had to expand my lifeline and investigate at which events the crucial moment had arisen.

Key-stations
%People claim that we recapture for a moment the self that we were long ago when we enter some house or garden in which we used to live in our youth. Aut these are most ha1ardous pilgrimages, which end as often in disappointment as in success. .t is in ourselves that we should rather see to find those fixed places, contemporaneous with different years.6, .n the end of this analysis . identified the B ey0stations, which had determined my way of life. There is nothing special or uni<ue in this record, which may be similar to e<uivalent biographical records of millions of others. . just wanted to understand the mechanism and the only complete record . had at my disposal was my own diary archive. &ome of the places had been conserved in a more or less original state, which could be inspected. . decided to revisit these locations to chec the boundary conditions and my own deductions. Cther locations were available, but they were restricted areas or may have been modified in the meantime. #nd even if an author may reconstruct his own biographical record he or she may fail to describe the exact historical flow in its full context. @ost of the details may remain unnamed. . decided to reconstruct some of these, but the majority of the bac grounds remain gray shades as the bac ground panels at a musical"s stage. #s an author . may feel enabled to control the story by manipulating the characters" in their behavior. The authors such as #ndr? :ide may have been using this techni<ue in Counterfeiters", but except for some shameful details, which had to be omitted or veiled, the serious autobiographers such as @ontaigne tried to avoid manipulations. #nd in my analysis . tried to avoid any manipulation.

Planning
.n retrospect none of the ey0steps have been planned in advance. 8either have the other steps in between the ey0events. &mall steps cannot foresee the distant future. #nd probably a great number of people will behave according to this pattern. .f there is any planning it must be done in the bac ground by some immensely capable personality or a divine Power. =omer"s Odyssee, >oyce"s Ulysses, 5?line"s Journey to the End of the Night, #ndr? :ide"s Counterfeiters, @arcel Proust"s In Search of Lost Time!! they all seem to be #eating u$ against the %ind. That"s the characteristic pattern . found in my own life. The ey0turns are the chapters which may be filled with endless milestones, which are passed by on the journey to the end of the night.

, D &arcel 'roust, In Search of Lost Time 4 *2our Eeflections on "The 5ounterfeiters"* by Eobert Fexelblatt

Marriage and childhood

2rom the viewpoint of man ind the main ey of marriage and childhood hasn"t even been listed. The decisions for marriage and children evolve from unplanned phases and develop as automated processes. Cur marriage had been synchroni1ed with emigration and had to be considered as an emigration0related, automated sub0process. 5hildhood was a choice which had been induced by comfortable boundary conditions$ an automated sub0process, which arose from nowhere. 8o other triggers could be found for the most fundamental of all processes.

A biography as a series of Key-Turns

1st of March 1951 My first Key-Turns in life
Life as a journey will all begin at a turning point in a safe haven, which is the first childhood event to be remembered. .t is a turn from the dream world to consciousness and it did cost me some particular effort to draw the event bac from oblivion into my mind. . reconstructed the details of my first turnaround in a painless and mild her$es (oster attac , which helped me remembering by hyper0activating my nerves. This is the starting point of my conscious mind. .f ever the first event in a lifetime is to be remembered it must be something astonishing and strange. #nd whatever strange we remember must then be ordered to isolate the earliest of these events. . did some earnest study to concentrate on remembering earliest experiences, but . failed to find out the most elementary experience of birth and earliest childhood, although . had to be careful to avoid the impressions of existing photographs. Cne of the most impressive memories are the images of tall objects and persons which have been preserved from low viewpoints at a childish si1e. #s a ,0, 40 or -0year age . must have been loo ing up to people and things. . remember to have seen tables and chairs from a childish viewpoint. #t that age my eyes leveled the seats of an armchair and . had to climb a chair to overloo a table. . remember the day my mother taught me to use the toilet as a huge mountain in a tiny dar room with a very small window up at the wall. &he guided me to the small step . had to use to mount the huge toilet. &he instructed me to avoid touching the ceramics and to wash my hands in the itchen. . couldn"t reach the flusher and had to as an adult to flush the toilet. These things came to my mind and just the other day . decided to visit our old house, which still exists. The row of houses has been renovated by installing new heating systems and modern windows, but the outlines have remained intact as they were from the beginning around(3-/. . too some photographs of my old elementary school, which had been built opposite of our house. #nd yes the si1e of the buildings had been modified in my memory. .n my memory the buildings" height had been taller, although the widths and lengths hadn"t changed that much. .t wasn"t the ,0dimensional shape correction in #lice"s wonderland, in which all si1es and shapes had been reduced. The correction had been restricted to heights. #nd this, yes, this had been the first conscious reconstruction of a turnaround. #t the time of my revisit- . meet two youngsters, aged around (+ and wearing a modern haircut with some fancy hair gel, who are entering the front door of our old house. They see me ta ing photographs of my old school and . tell them . had lived in their home for several years. They laugh and tell me their family has been living in this home for (B years now. #nd my old school is a rotten school now, although it used to be CG a few years ago. #nd yes. That"s how we reacted at that age those days. . felt at home once again, although . hadn"t visited the place for decades. #longside of the school there used to be a 5atholic church, which has been closed and turned into modern apartments, neatly arranged around an isolated church tower, which probably had been to costly to tear down.

- Hth of #pril +/(, 4 &trijp in 7agboe fragmenten +/(+0+/(,

#t this place . went to elementary school, then to a gymnasium, to be followed by a technical university. 8othing special had been identifiable in this series of milestones, which usually are to be mar ed by diplomas, medals and certificates. ;ach step followed another one on a staircase reaching upward into the clouds. . didn"t miss a step and went straight upwards, forwards to the end of my study of electrical engineering. #n the end however . identified a turnaround, which forced me to leave the foreseen trac and change my course. . hadn"t planned to leave my birthplace, but an economical crisis forced me to emigrate along with some fellow students, who had missed their regular exams" termination.

22th of February 1971 A Coitus Interruptus of the Thir Kin

#fter a wee end of intensive study . swung myself on my 5aptain @obylette and crossed the traffic to the ;0building, seventh floor, department of digital data processing. .f whistled and felt confident of my superior nowledge of TTL and 7TL logic, the topic of one of my last exams in electrical engineering. The professor"s secretary"s door stood widely open, but the narrow room was empty. The professor"s door itself was closed. . was a few minutes early and noticed a promising, slight perfume in the air . decided to wait a minute to see miss ! returning from her coffee machine in the itchen. 8othing really happened and nobody seemed to be around in the neighboring offices. . went to the itchen and chec ed the floor to the other end of the building, where . new the copying machine had been located. 8obody showed up. . returned and did wait for some more minutes. Then at (4$(/ . decided to noc the professor"s door, just in case the secretary was ill and he had shut the door to concentrate on his wor . 8othing happened and . waited for another couple of minutes. Then, suddenly, the door opened and miss ! rushed into her cabinet. &he was blushing in between her blonde hair and <uic ly rushed over to her des to pic a piece of paper and a pencil. %=ello, miss !6, . said. . new her and . new we had met at the 5hristmas party two months ago. .n fact professor =. was supposed to be the assistant coordinator for my degree project, which also involved some .T0 circuitry. #t the 5hristmas0party the department"s assistants had received a present, a boo titled The Na)ed *$e #y 7esmond @orris, which had been translated into 7utch and became a bestseller. 9nfortunately the professor had forgotten me as a temporary member of the department. =is secretary miss ! had attended him . had to be invited as well and also reminded him a present for me had to be reordered, which must have been impossible. #s a compensation for the missing Na)ed *$e . received a boring poc et boo %8ew @athematics6 or so with the professor"s name in red in at the front page. The name in red in reminded me for some years that this boo had been a 5hristmas present. %Ch, sorry. =i, @r. E.I Fhat can . do for youJ6, she said and concentrated on her paperwor . %. have an appointment with professor =. for an exam on digital switching technology ...6, . said. &he laid the paper down and too her calender. %Ch no, not today.6, she said, somewhat irritated. .ntensely blushing she paged the calender to an fro. . new miss ! had been so alert to have noticed my missing in the 5hristmas0party"s list. . hardly could believe my name was missing in the calendar. #nd as a rednec innocent country rube . really believed the poor girl was blushing because she may have forgotten my exam appointment and had been recording a shorthand in the professor"s office. %."ve visited you two months ago and we made the appointment here in your office6, . tried to help. Eight then the professor entered the room from his office and as ed %&omething wrongJ6, he as ed. %Fe are chec ing mister E"s appointment for an exam switching technology ... for today. &omething must have been slipped out of the calender6, miss ! answered. =er chee s now were as red as the girls . had seen her after an intensive game of tennis.

Missing an Exam
%8ever mind. Please come into my office6, the professor said and he invited me to enter his office and sit down at the conference des . =e put on his jac et and closed the small window, which had been opened wide in the 2ebruary"s cold. The window had been designed small to prevent suicides from the seventh floor and had not been opened long enough to remove all of the peculiar lovers" scent . smelled. . thought of the problem of changing the secretary"s title from @s. ! to @rs. !, but had to clean my memory for more serious thoughts. The professor seated himself and started his <uestions about the logic families. . felt pu11led and try to concentrate on my answers. #nd although the professor probably tried to be benign he had me sac ed. @y note simply was insufficient. . as ed him when . would be able to come bac for another exam, as this would be one of the terminal exams in my study. Cf course as a student we might expect to try another exam within a month or so. %Ch yes6, he said, %well, these examinations cannot be repeated at intervals under ( year. . may try again next year6. This blow ruined my plans and . remember this day very well, because it changed my life and in retrospect . thin the professor had been irritated by his coitus, which had been interrupted by me. . left the office and noticed the secretary had left the room. The window had been opened wide and the frosty 2ebruary air pulled along the cabinet to the open door, spreading paper leafs to the floor. Cf course . didn"t pic them up. . had learned to be so careful to eep the professor"s privacy at any cost, or else he might be powerful enough to throw me out of the course.

. had to rearrange some of my tight planning scheme and decided to start a job at the university. .n the predefined year . had plenty of time to finish my last couple of exams and complete my study. The job started @ay (37( and lasted up to Cctober (37( and provided me with some money and insurances. . was living in a comfortable attic, going steady with a girlfriend and enjoyed the comfortable life of easy studying. 8obody hurried me to complete my wor , but . started writing applications to various companies. . noticed a steep rise in the unemployment numbers and . cursed at my professor =., who had delayed my final exam to 2ebruary (37+.

The 15th of ugust 1!"1 # The $ixon %hoc&

Cn #ugust (-, (37(, in the middle of my job phase at the university, 8ixon issued ;xecutive Crder ((B(-, closing the gold window. 2oreign governments could no longer exchange their dollars for gold. . wasn"t a foreign government and didn"t care for the gold window. #t that time however all companies closed their job windows as well. 8one of my applications resulted in any ind of potential response. This crisis had turned into a nightmare. @eanwhile most of my fellow students already had been successful in applying for jobs and were wor ing in universities, at governmental offices or in all inds of laboratories. Aut now the companies slammed doors and stopped loo ing for any new applicants.

The finishing Touch

Cne thing the professor taught me was the protection of electronic circuitry against electromagnetic interference. Cne Tuesday, the Hth of 7ecember (37( around (($,/, . wheeled what was to become my masterpiece, a digital data0processor at the si1e of a domestic dishwasher, towards his laboratory, where his assistants started unpac ing their torture instruments. They had designed five interference sources such as a hairdryer without protective filters, a spar ling rasp, etc.). The TTL0 circuitry had been designed with long wiring layouts, which easily pic ed up the electromagnetic radiation and we already had been alert to debug the system from standard interference in our labs. . felt rather proud my data0processor withstood four out of five devilish interference tests and only one of the tests stopped the controller. Fith my fellow designers . modified some of the wiring circuitry and added some extra filters, which was enough to stop the interference. This was the finishing touch for my last exam a few wee s later.

'( Fe)ruary1!"' # Tuesday

. reappointed to my digital switching technology ... for the next chance next year. . followed the same procedure and noticed the secretary once again blushed as . noc ed on her door for my exam. The professor also remembered what had been happening and made a big smile as he invited me into his office. The windows were closed now and the air was as fresh as a 7utch 2ebruary can be. This time the exam had been easy and it happened the be the last of my series of exams altogether. The professor new it, but somehow he intimidated me by setting the validity at an unusual, very short termination date$ the (st of 2ebruary (37,. That was <uite unusual, as all of my successful examinations had been signed at - years validity. &till . had to wait a few wee s for the festivities of final examination, but at the 3 th of @arch (37+ another professor handed out the certificate for electrical engineering. . had my diploma, but no employment seemed to be available for these ind of students. Cnly a few 7utch companies needed engineering capacity at all and these companies had decided to wait for the end of the crisis to start planning any extension of their capacities. . had to loo for a job elsewhere...

2n of !o"e#ber 1972 $outhern %er#any

#round &eptember (37+ some of my friends and . myself, who were in similar jobless situations found a note at the university"s blac board, in which some large companies li e =ewlett Pac ard, &;L, &iemens and #;:0Telefun en were loo ing for aspirant applicants for engineering jobs. . did send applications and immediately was invited by three companies in southern :ermany. . chose for the idyllic location of an antenna laboratory near &tuttgart, signed the contract and started preparations for emigration, which those days had to be seen as a restart in a new environment with another language, another coin and other laws. . discussed the idea of emigration with my girlfriend, which . had met the +7 th of >anuary (3B7, at a lousy carnival festivity with lots of dancing in an old0fashioned cinema. Fe had been engaged five years now and she already had a job in the local glass production facility of Philips. There was no god reason for each of us to prolong the situation. Fe decided to emigrate and marry the end of (37+ and she would resign at the end of the year. .n retrospect these decisions had to be considered as dependent on the emigration. .t was merely the date, which needed to be fixed.

Ernest
The first day in my new office was the +nd of 8ovember (37+, because the (st is a holiday. . too office at an old wooden des opposite to ;rnest, who had been assigned as my mentor. ;rnest was (+ years older than . and had been born in Neutitschein in the east051ech0republic. #t the end of the war his family moved to FalldKrn and he started a study of electrotechnical engineering in Garlsruhe. ;rnest had been a bachelor ever since. =e was a true friend, always helpful to solve my <uestions, which were abundant for a lost me in a completely new environment. ;rnest taught me the practical side of microwave and antenna technology. =e introduced me to the other laboratories and the library with technical literature. @ost of the theoretical literature were #merican handboo s li e @icrowave #ntenna Theory #nd 7esign 4 by &amuel &ilver '(343)B and similar wor s, which had been resulting from world war .. developments. ;rnst also taught me how to use the Klystrons and other microwave gear. .n his manuscripts ;rnest still used the strange old +erman capital letters to symboli1e the vectors in his formulas, which . learned to understand as general practice in :erman physics at that time. &ome of these characters were similar to others and . had to be careful to avoid misinterpretations. >ust to illustrate these strange characters . include the following formula as documented by =einrich =ert1, who also had been wor ing in Garlsruhe$

,ig! -. Ele)trische Kraft /ert(.001

source$ ;lectrical 2orce 4 =ert1 manuscript$ ++B '=einrich =ert1, (H3+)

B 8ow available as a pdf in the web.

The impact of world war .. had still been visible in some ancient measurement setups, which had been built from scrap materials by laboratory members in the first postwar years. The technicians were extremely s illed in metalwor ing. They had made rotational platform with a starter motor and gearbox full of gearwheels which had been offset against each other by two springs to minimi1e the bac lash. . learned a lot and with his help . developed a fine digitally e<uipped and des top controlled rotational platform for fully automated antenna measurements with the =P3H+-#, which had been introduced (37B. .n order to reconstruct this overview . documented some of my memories in Eeflector #ntennas Eevisited. #s curious as we were ;rnest and . also engaged in various private research projects. .n order to investigate a solar eclipse at Thursday, the +3 th of #pril (37B between (/$// and (,$// o"cloc we did build a +m long telescope and photographed the partial eclipse with a Polaroid camera. Fe also roamed around in the nearby forests to loo for mushrooms and prepared them as a meal with a fine glass of local white wines.

Marriage and *ffs+ring

#s had been planned . managed to be married 7ecember (37+. Fe planned to live and wor for a couple of years in southern :ermany and rented a newly built, expensive home, located at the outs irts of a small town, in the neighborhood of a mountainous forest. Fe were happy here, connected to friends, had a child in a peaceful period (37-0(37B and enjoyed the young life full of new impressions. 8ature was mild, the people were friendly and we were healthy, which was the most important parameter in our life.

, lo-e you
. li ed the &wabian people and <uic ly learned their dialect, which avoids the word %love6 as an overdoing exaggeration and prefers %li e6 to verbally express the highest feeling between sexes. . was advised to fre<uent &wabian comedies in amateur theaters, which mostly concentrate on &wabian dialect. %. li e you6 is the only acceptable formula to court &wabian girls, but . already had been married and . hadn"t have to try it the hard way. The dialect has some common roots with 7utch, especially their fre<uent diminutive form of substantives such as &ally 'for &arah). The &wabian dialect mostly appends 0le which is comparable to ;nglish native diminutives li e puddle or spar le. Cur landlord and the landlady instructed us how to handle their property. &he defined the power level of our vacuum cleaner and told us where to buy a decent dust pans and dust brushes. They had be born and raised in difficult ages and they new how to ta e care of things. They wanted to ma e sure we wouldn"t ma e a mista e. The antenna laboratories allowed me to wor on towers with some gorgeous views over the mountains, forests and villages. There were lots of flowers, fruits and fresh air, surrounding the wor place and . felt free as a bird on the wire. # few years later an internal crisis at the company however disturbed some dreams. #t the antenna laboratory there were rumors four out of twelve employees would have to find another job. 8o special selections had been made yet, but . said to myself$ who else in ;urope might be needing an antenna expertJ Two or three companies and a few universities, . guessed.

Digital TTL-Designs
.n the late seventies . turned out to be the only employee in the micro2a3e radio relay0section with experience in digital logic. 9p to that date all e<uipment had been designed for analogue transmission. 8ow the management needed a <uic solution for some new digital communication circuit designs up the ,+ @Ait fre<uency range. The available technology was fast TTL0logic and management as ed me to ta e care of the job, which also included building the test circuitry and wiring the layout for the printed circuit board. 2or this project . had contacted .T0people, discussing the 5#70tools and . had been writing some elementary design algorithms myself. The design was using TTL0technology at the operational limits and . carefully had to manage the delay periods of the signals. . also had been wor ing with data processors in measurement and antenna controls. .T0 and 5#70 technology and data processing might be an alternative new field which allowed me some more flexibility than the antennas themselves. . slowly moved away from antennas and communication e<uipment towards data processing.

The 1st of +ril 1!.1 - / D

The antenna laboratory being an unsecured basis we decided to give it a try. . applied for a job as a 5#70specialist at the central company. . had lost the freedom of wor ing at the fresh air, but . li ed data processing and the P5A0data seemed to be more enduring than antenna data. The 5#70crew had been e<uipped with minicomputer of the 7ata :eneral type 8ova and ;clipse 7, operating an 9&0made Calma digiti1er system. The 5alma systems each served three large digiti1er tables, e<uipped with green Te tronix storage displays, which had to be operated in dar ened, air0 conditioned rooms. The P5A0layouts had to be digiti1ed from 4$( scaled colored drawings. .n order to clean the display the operator had to press the pen0up ey, which caused the storage tube to produce a bright flash in the operator"s poor, wide0opened pupils. Lery gloomy indeedI The 5alma systems were <uite sensitive to crashes, which were caused by interference from the power line. ;ach of both 5alma systems at least crashed once in a H hour shift, which resulted in a loss of wor and a lengthy, annoying reboot of the system. Fe had two power lines$ a filtered and an unfiltered grid. . was surprised the unfiltered power provided us with the cleanest power and found out that the unfiltered power line provided the lowest impedance, which had been the most critical parameter. 2rom my professor"s experience . remembered the idea of filtering and inserted some filters into the power lines to the 5alma0systems. This remedy immediately wor ed and cleaned the interference problem. This success proved to be a fine introduction to the colleagues, who had been plagued with daily interrupts, but of course they <uic ly learned to live with uninterrupted devices, which constantly needed new data to be processed... Cne day the factory re<uested digital data for their in circuit testers and pic and place machines. Cf course the re<uest landed on my table and . investigated how this problem had to be solved. The 5alma library had been designed without any form of logical information. The graphics had been processed as copper trac s and nothing else. The libraries had to be updated with large amounts of additional information. The cost of updating this logical database had to be provided by the design departments, although the economical profit landed at the factory divisions. Cf course this discrepancy resulted in some discussions in the management floors. #nd after the costs had been planned the wor could be started. The investment in updating the libraries had to be extended to several 5#7 and 5#;0systems, which were to be added to fulfill the various needs for different design teams. .nitially all 5#;0libraries had to be managed individually, which did cause deviations in databases, resulting in conflicts in the in circuit tests. .t more or less may be compared to the Aabylonian confusion and had to be solved by standardi1ation. . invested considerable energy and time in standardi1ing rotation code, component position, pin numbering and similar data. ;ach 5#70system seemed to have invented its own %standard6 and nobody was interested in standardi1ing these standards. .n retrospect all these systems were short0living, stand0alone islands, which had to be integrated by manually developed interfaces. .t did cost much money, but the pay was good. . li ed the job and learned a lot, but . new the world was changing. .n the course of a decade the data management had to be evolving from minicomputer to the newly developed P5 and wor station generations. 8etwor s arose and needed to be installed. Fe were luc y to be in charge of the successful introduction of P50software and the #pollo and 9nix0 wor stations.

7 Tagebuchfragmente (37+0(33/

ugust 1!!0 # Loosing a friend

(H !ears had gone by ever since we met (37+ and (33/ both ;rnest and . had left the antenna laboratory. . had chosen for TTL0logic, P5A0 and 5#70technology, whereas ;rnest had switched to the planning section for microwave lin s. Fe lost sight daily contact in the company, but occasionally ept contacts in the wee end trips, which did lead us into the forests, mountains and the museums with Eoman and medieval artifacts. .n his new job ;rnest had to manage lots of travels abroad, where customers wanted to order a microwave lin between towns. These lin s re<uired a line of sight between the antenna towers and often an engineer needed to chec the planning by visual observations of the sites. .n the summer of (33/ ;rnest had been on a travel in some #lgerian desert, where he had been ordered to chec the communication lin s for a planned microwave radio relays. =e had been accompanied by three soldiers, who were to protect him and to ta e care of transportation in the mountains. .n one of these expeditions ;rnst must have stumbled and slightly hurt at his nees. =is pathfinders guided him to a small village in which a medical doctor gave him a tetanus injection. ;rnest later told me he hoped the doctor may have disinfected the ancient prewar syringe, which loo ed li e a museum piece. =is fear must have been doomed to be fullfilled. =e went to ta e some holiday at Lan1arote, one of the 5anary islands. #fter his return he visited me in my office and . noticed his brown s in, which loo ed li e a holiday souvenir, although his pores seemed the have been widened. .n retrospect . felt worried and angry . didn"t attend him to visit his medical doctor. =is sudden dead in #ugust (33/ hit me hard. . heard ;rnest in a wee end had suffered an acute and unstoppable bleeding in his eso$hageal 3arices, which had been caused by a cirrhosis. #s soon as he noticed the veins had started bleeding he must have managed to ta e his own car and drove to the hospital himself. ;ven in a standard intensive0care medical treatment the lethality at such bleeding is ,/M. ;rnest belonged to the ,/M category. #t the hospital the bleeding could not be stopped and he virtually did bleed to death within a day. That"s how . suddenly lost a friend. =e was buried far away near his brother"s home and apart from his burial ceremony we never visited his grave again, but if a man hasn"t been forgotten and remains a part of some of our memories ;rnest is still alive somewhere 4 in our minds...

1&th of 'anuary 199( Kic)off of the *+M-pro,ect

# few years later the P50software was to be replaced by more sophisticated tools. The P5A0data processing evolved and the costs for developing communication e<uipment rose to unacceptable levels compared to sales revenues. . felt the need to search for a more profitable job inside the company and in 7ecember (33- . felt ripe to switch to the more general .T0field of PL@, which was needed to cope with data complexity and customer re<uests for professional $roduct lifecycle management 4'L&5! . remember the day F. as ed me as he came strolling along the middle of the gorgeous ancient par<uetry at the corridor of the fourth floor, where they had been developing the famous TE40 computer three decades ago, around (3B+. . remembered to have visited the TE4 at my introduction to the company in which . had admired the cloc fre<uency regulator at the the control des . Fhy did they need a cloc fre<uency regulatorJ . had just left my office in the middle of the corridor. The par<uetry had been to be saved from removal and renovated a few wee s ago and now it was shining li e a bed of flowers in the bright light of the fluorescent tubes. %=i, E.6, he greeted, %hey, . am on my way to an appointment with the .T0management. Fe badly need somebody to start the PL@0project at this site. Fould you be willing to do thatJ6. Cf course . new F., who was in charge of the .T0services in southern :ermany. =e wasn"t jo ing and he seemed to need a name to be mentioned in a meeting, which would be due to start within the next five minutes. %That"s o ay6, . said, %let me now how to proceed.6 That"s how . stumbled into the PL@0section, which would dominate the rest of my career. . learned to manage the company"s documentation in a singular .T0database. .n retrospect . needed this new .T0field to proceed to another wor ing sector, which was to survive some turmoil. . didn"t foresee this and it happened by chance. . just was luc y to survive.

1ust in Time
#nd if . hadn"t switched to 7igital 7esigns, to 5#7 and subse<uently to PL@ . wouldn"t have had the opportunity to switch my job at ,/.((.(333. . trac ed my focus as it followed the various fields of technology$ microwave antennas, des top calculators, step0trac processors, TTL logic, printed circuit boards, 5#7, 5#@, PL@... ;ach of these ey0turns had to be performed just in time. Ctherwise . would have been catapulted out of the ey positions into one of the lost positions where the pawns had been landing inside, respectively at the sideline of the chec erboard.

-&th !o"e#ber 1999 Key-Turn to the $atco#-section

7ecember (333 the company entered a new crisis. This time the communications sector as a mar et sector lost control. The net costs rose to infinity and 3/M of the wor ing sectors had to be sold. There had been some rumors of the conditions of this sale and one of the ideas had been to eep parts of the .T0section to preserve an operable .T0service for the remaining, unsellable part of the company. #t the eve of the transfer the .T0section had been ta en apart and ordered to stay available for further orders. . phoned my home number and told my wife . would be coming home later. Cf course she already new what was going to happen. #t some late hour in the afternoon . was the first to be invited into a staff office, where a fine fashioned lady introduced herself as @s. N of the human resources management. &he invited me to be seated and said$ %Loo , @r. E., you are the first candidate we offer to stay in our company. Fe will not be allowed to eep all crew0members of the .T0service, and we have a list of selected suitable candidates we need to eep the systems operable at optimal conditions.6 &he explained the good reasons for the company and made me a fair offer for a new contract. . wor ed at a PL@0project, which needed to be completed. 8ot signing the contract would imply . would be included in the staff for the sections, which were going to be sold that midnight. Ctherwise . would be excluded from the company sale and continue my job as a staff member of the remaining section of the company. Then she as ed me if . accepted the offer and as ed me to sign the contract, which was needed to replace my old wor ing contract. . didn"t have too much time to thin or as anybody. . didn"t even read all of the paperwor . There was a line of colleagues waiting out there and . new they would have to be following the same procedure. . signed the paper sheet for the transfer and then we said goodbye. . left the office and had to answer to some <uestions of the waiting crew. . told them what had been discussed and that . had signed to continue my job as a staff member of the remaining section of the company.

121'21!!! # 3ednesday
The next day a new owner presented ;xcel0sheets, promising wealth such as enormous premiums and things. Those who had signed their contract, were to be moc ed for their stupidity to throw away a winning jo er. The premium however had been made dependent on rising stoc 0levels, which turned out to be illusive phantasies, which had been pushed upwards in the dot0com0bubble. . assume the dot0com0hype may have been caused by some ill0designed goal0see ing ;xcel0 formula, which seems to happening every now and then... H . . remember to have seen lots of ;xcel0 sheets using formulas, which never had been documented. . even had to repair some of these undocumented programs. The tool never had been designed to allow documentation. The formulas had been programmed by would be programmers, who never had been instructed for <uality programming. #nd if someday a nuclear reactor explodes the cause for the incident may probably be traced bac to a goal0see ing formula in an ;xcel0sheet.

H 2ed *2ails* &tress Test, Eeleases Eevised Eesults

1st March of 2&1& .etire#ent phase at the a/e of (The following years may have been the best of my wor ing life and . felt happy wor ing with the finest programming tool . ever used 'the &#P development environment). ;ach of the ey0turns seemed to have protected me from ending in a dead0end alley. This way . managed to maintain my job in the PL@0section up to my pension age B, at the (st of @arch +/(/. .n retrospect . discerned five ey0turns in my life up to my pension$ (st of @arch (3-( 0 @y first Gey0Turns in life ++th of 2ebruary (37( 4 # 5oitus .nterruptus of the Third Gind (st of 8ovember (37+ 4 ;migration to &outhern :ermany (/th of >anuary (33B 4 Gic off of the PL@0project ,/th of 8ovember (333 4 Gey0Turn to the &atcom0section (st @arch of +/(/ 4 Eetirement phase at the age of B,

4etros+ecti-e +hase
#nd so it is with our own past. .t is a labor in vain to attempt to recapture it$ all the efforts of our intellect must prove futile. The past is hidden somewhere outside the realm, beyond the reach of intellect, in some material object 'in the sensation which that material object will give us) of which we have no in ling. #nd it depends on chance whether or not we come upon this object before we ourselves must die.63 .n +//( my father died and inherited me a large library, which was overloaded with thousands boo s. 9p to my pension . hadn"t really invested too much time in these boo s. . had been selecting some of these for study and threw away what seemed to be irrelevant. #fter retirement . intensified the reading and discovered lots of white spaces in my memory$ things, which had been veiled, accidentally or on purpose...

Literature
. found and studied =omer"s Odyssee, >oyce"s Ulysses, 5?line"s Journey to the End of the Night, #ndr? :ide"s Counterfeiters, @arcel Proust"s In Search of Lost Time !! @ost of my father"s boo s had been filled with notes, which gave a good impression of his thoughts and analysis. The library did contain lots of historical and biographical records as well as literary analysis. &tudying these wor s re<uired <uite some time and hasn"t been completed yet. . followed the same strategy as in %# career as a series of Gey0Turns6 by gathering details in structured database named The Concentrated eading 'ro6ect. This database enabled me to eep an overview of structures. Particularly . was searching for the ey novels, which have been classified as the masterpieces in describing life"s eys. :ide received the (347 8obel Pri1e for literature, but also an entrance into the 5hurch"s index of forbidden boo s '(3-+). Fhy did the 5hurch need an index and why do politics classify some relevant information for democratic processesJ Eeligious and political control have been interwoven from the beginning and originally may have been identical. . chec ed the wor s for particular symbols which may have played a role in controlling the global society. ;specially the colors 'purple, red and blue) and the vowels '#, ;, ., C, 9) seemed the have been in use for religious and imperial symbolism, but most of the original symbolism has been lost in oblivion.
3 D @arcel Proust, S2ann7s %ay

The study of Mani+ulations

&ince the Lehman crisis most of my analytical energy is to be invested in understanding the monetary and political manipulations, which became evident at the ban ruptcy of the Lehman 8rothers around &eptember (-, +//H. .n my father"s library . found %The 2ederal Eeserve &ystem6 '(3-4), which shoc ed me for its primitive concept of unsecured money printing after the 8ixon shoc . . understood the shoc , which had forced me to emigrate to :ermany, also had laid the foundation for a monetary collapse. 8one of our engineering concepts had been designed in such primitive architecture. #nd later the next shoc occurred at the 2u ushima catastrophe, which catapulted some areas bac into the category %lost territories6. . understood the unplanned 8ixon shoc , as well as 2u ushima"s failures behaved li e$ >oyce"s Ulysses, 4E$isode 0, Nestor5. *history is a nightmare from which . am trying to awa e* and that :od is *a shout in the street.* #ndr? :ide"s Counterfeits. Small ste$s cannot foresee the distant future O C9line7s Journey to the End of the Night. &ay#e our colonel )ne2 2hy they 2ere shooting, may#e the +ermans )ne2, #ut I, so hel$ me, hadn7t the 3aguest idea! -: /omer7s Odyssee. 'oly$hemos yells out to them. ;No#ody7s tric)ed me, No#ody7s ruined me<; &arcel 'roust, In Search of Lost Time.=The only real 3oyage of disco3ery consists not in see)ing ne2 landsca$es, #ut in ha3ing ne2 eyes!>

Distrust
Fe have entered a world where we cannot trust our senses 00 what is counterfeit and what is realJ #nd of course manipulation is needed to cover the deceit. ;very masterpiece is a cry against deceit and a revelation of manipulative powers. &ome of us now we are being deceived, although the majority doesn"t care.

Failures
2rom a technical standpoint uncovered fiat money and the monetary system are failures as well as the nuclear plants at 2u ushima and 5hernobyl. @odern economics, and nuclear physics and the Transatlantic Trade and In3estment 'artnershi$ 'including herbicide control, genetic manipulation, etc.) are profitable project which are controlled by irresponsible lobbyists. ;conomics, nuclear physics, pesticides as well as genetic control do not really seemed to be planned. .n fact they follow the same pattern of <uic 0and0dirty designs . identified in the strategy of 5#70, 5#@0, 5#;0 and the first PL@0systems. The early concepts all lac ed a sound foundation. Aasics never had been tested for their global impact in the end0phase.

(/ ;li1abeth"s Eeviews P >ourney to the ;nd of the 8ight

2010-2012 Crosschecking my memories

#t the Bth of 8ovember, +/(( . accidentally noticed that professor =. had been convicted for pedophilia at the age of H4 and recently at H7 had been accused of recidivism. . as ed a friend of mine, who had been wor ing for the professor and he said, %!es, =. had been a hot topic for some time. &ome time after my experience he divorced his wife and married the secretary . had met at my exam.% &oon after re0conviction the professor died by an accident. .n the web . found his necrology, according to which he had grown up as a prewar child, to be educated as a toolma er, suffering from the :erman bombs on Eotterdam and by the occupiers committed to wor for the :erman industry. #t the end of the war his mathematical genius had been noticed and he was enabled to study technical engineering. =e must have been wor ing overtime for his education. Eesorting my memories . didn"t feel any hatred against my treatment at the exam. .n fact the delay gave me a chance to go abroad and try something else. .t hadn"t been bad and if . hadn"t nown what had happened . might have been grateful for his hint to find a job abroad. These things came to my mind and often . thin of all these other optional sidetrac s . might have followed if another dice had been thrown. .n the end the dice . got might have been the optimal pattern ,ortuna may have been playing for me.

5arriers
#nd anyhow it became clear there there had been no planning in my ey0turns. 8one of these steps had been foreseen. #nd only between the ey0turns . had been following a course to my next barrier. The ey0steps had been caused by stopping me at barriers. Aarriers either had been an irritated professor, suffering from some interrupt of the third ind, economical problems such as the 8ixon &hoc , a brea down of sales in my company or a retirement. @an seems to be proceeding as long as there is an inch of water below his eel. #nd only at a sandban he is forced to reset the sails. .n nuclear physics 2u ushima"s incident may initiate the barrier to change the course. Criginally the Tepco management may have planned to abandon the wrec ed reactors and only a president may have insisted on securing the uncontrolled processes ((. #nd at that time only an unexpected phone call saved the planet from uncontrolled nuclear reactions. .n economics a second Lehman0li e crash may lead us to another concept. .t will have to be just as <uic 0and0dirty as the 8ixon0shoc , which had been thrown into the ring for the lac of time for a better foundation. 8ixon hat to ma e a <uic jibe, because his monetary ship was <uic ly nearing the roc y coastline and would have crashed if he hadn"t reacted that day. #ll these events may ma e us nervous or dull our mind. .f too many impulses enter the mind the engine may be overloaded and collapse.

(( .n<uiry$ T;P5C nearly abandoned burning 2u ushima Gan .nterview, T;P5C Planned To #bandon 2u ushima 7aii 7iet panel to tac le <uestion$ 7id T;P5C want to desert 2u u

Contents
7ecisive Turns......................................................................................................................................( Life as a journey..........................................................................................................................+ Gey0stations................................................................................................................................+ Planning......................................................................................................................................+ @arriage and childhood.............................................................................................................., # biography as a series of Gey0Turns...................................................................................................4 (st of @arch (3-( 4 @y first Gey0Turns in life..............................................................................4 ++th of 2ebruary (37( 4 # 5oitus .nterruptus of the Third Gind...................................................B @issing an ;xam.........................................................................................................................7 The (-th of #ugust (37( 4 The 8ixon &hoc .............................................................................7 The finishing Touch....................................................................................................................H +B 2ebruary(37+ 4 Tuesday .......................................................................................................H +nd of 8ovember (37+ 4 &outhern :ermany..................................................................................3 ;rnest..........................................................................................................................................3 @arriage and Cffspring.............................................................................................................(( . love you...................................................................................................................................(( 7igital TTL07esigns.................................................................................................................(( The (st of #pril (3H( 0 5#7 ...................................................................................................(+ #ugust (33/ 4 Loosing a friend................................................................................................(, (/th of >anuary (33B 4 Gic off of the PL@0project.....................................................................(4 >ust in Time...............................................................................................................................(4 ,/th 8ovember (333 4 Gey0Turn to the &atcom0section..............................................................((.(+.(333 4 Fednesday............................................................................................................((st @arch of +/(/ 4 Eetirement phase at the age of B,................................................................(B Eetrospective phase...................................................................................................................(B Literature...................................................................................................................................(B The study of @anipulations......................................................................................................(7 7istrust......................................................................................................................................(7 2ailures......................................................................................................................................(7 +/(/0+/(+ 5rosschec ing my memories...........................................................................................(H Aarriers......................................................................................................................................(H