“Idiopathic Illness” a New Poem by Meghan O’Rourke

Idiopathic Illness

I threw hollowed self at your robust,
went for IV drips, mercury detoxes, cilantro smoothies.
I pressed my lips to you, fed you kale, spooned down coconut oil.
I fasted for blood sugar, underboomed the carbs,
chased ketosis, urine-stripped and slip-checked.
Baked raw cocoa & mint & masticated pig thyroids.
You were contemporary, toxic, I can’t remember what you were,
you’re in my brain, inflaming it, using up the glutathione.
I read about you on the Internet & my doctor agreed.
Just take more he urged & more.
You slipped into each cell. I went after you with a sinking inside
and medical mushrooms for maximum oom, I plumbed
you without getting to nevermore. O doom.
You were a disease without name, I was a body gone flame,
together, we twitched, and the acupuncturist said, it looks difficult,
stay calmish. What can be said? I came w/o a warranty.
Stripped of me—or me-ish-ness—
I was a will in a subpar body.
I waxed toward all that waned inside.

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From Sun in Days by Meghan O’Rourke. Copyright © 2017 Meghan O’Rourke. With permission of the publisher, W.W. Norton & Company, Inc.

Originally published in Literary Hub.