Everand Logo

Welcome to Everand!

  • Chicago Tribune

    Why I declared war on Christmas

    by Christopher Borrelli, Chicago Tribune Dec 18, 2017 4 minutes

    Just so there's no misunderstanding: Yes, I have declared war on Christmas. That's right: You know how the president and others have mentioned a War on Christmas? I'm that guy! The warmonger they're talking about! I declared war on Christmas, and the war is going well, thank you.

    Soon, the side of every Starbucks cup will read: "Happy Nondenominational Celebration! Give to the World Wildlife Fund!" And I won't stop there. You know how Christmas is becoming so obscure and you never hear anyone say "Christmas" anymore and we are in danger of not realizing Christmas is coming until it's Labor Day? That's me too! The pundits are right: I am undermining Christmas' shaky foothold on America.

    I plot in secret, at a

    You’re reading a preview, subscribe to read more.

    More from Chicago Tribune

    Chicago Tribune17 min read
    Breastfeeding Moms Sent Naked Photos, Videos To Purported Lactation Consultant On Facebook. Now They Fear It Was A Scam.
    CHICAGO — Sleep-deprived and anxious about feeding their babies, tens of thousands of moms in Illinois and elsewhere recently turned to a variety of Facebook groups offering support for breastfeeding, pumping breast milk and postpartum care. Direct r
    Chicago Tribune5 min read
    Chicago Bears’ Lakefront Stadium Proposal: What’s Been Said, What We Know — And What We Need To Know
    CHICAGO — A billion here, a billion there — pretty soon you’re talking real money. The late Sen. Everett Dirksen may not have said exactly that, but he repeatedly raised that concern about spending tax dollars. For reference, $1 billion is more than
    Chicago Tribune2 min read
    Chicago Author Jonathan Eig Wins Pulitzer Prize For His Groundbreaking Biography Of Martin Luther King Jr.
    CHICAGO — Chicago historian Jonathan Eig won a 2024 Pulitzer Prize for biography for “King: A Life,” his 2023 biography of Martin Luther King, Jr., a bestseller widely recognized for its monumental scope and fresh findings. Even some previous King bi

    Related