NO DOGS ALLOWED

Let’s make some generalizations: Dog owners—which, it is important to note, I am not—love their dogs. They like having them around. They do not mind carrying around fecal matter in very thin plastic bags. (I’m not going to get into leaving shit on the skin track or thereabouts. You’re better than that.)

But assuming that everyone else likes your dog as much as you like your dog is kind of like assuming everyone appreciates your Facebook screed about The Donald. Really cool if you’re into it, really not if you’re