The Atlantic

What It Means to Be a Bad Mom

Inside the mind of a psychologist who helps determine whether parents are “good enough” to keep their children
Source: Eloy Alonso / Reuters

The Vermont lake was the perfect setting for a mother-daughter day. The mother packed water and towels. The daughter, an excitable young girl, shoved cheese sticks into a cooler. When the two arrived at the beach, they swung the cooler between them as they walked to the water.

But the mother’s smile was strained, because the day of family fun would be closely watched. Joining the pair was Sharon Lamb, a psychologist who evaluates parents and makes recommendations to family courts regarding whether their rights to their children should be terminated. The daughter had been in foster care for two years, and her mother was in danger of losing custody permanently. Lamb was there to help determine whether the mother could be considered fit to parent.

Throughout the day, Lamb took notes on whether the daughter felt close to the mother. She observed smaller details too—such as whether the mother remembered to pack food and sunscreen for her child. Shortly after they arrived, the mother ran into, a new book that details the lake trip and other anonymized anecdotes from Lamb’s work.

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