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Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ
Zusammenfassung
Is IQ destiny? Not nearly as much as we think. This fascinating and persuasive program argues that our view of human intelligence is far too narrow, ignoring a crucial range of abilities that matter immensely in terms of how we do in life.
Drawing on groundbreaking brain and behavioral research, Daniel Goleman shows the factors at work when people of high IQ flounder and those of modest IQ do well. These factors add up to a different way of being smart — one he terms "emotional intelligence." This includes self-awareness and impulse control, persistence, zeal and self-motivation, empathy, and social deftness.
These qualities mark people who excel in life, whose relationships flourish, who are stars in the workplace. Lack of emotional intelligence can sabotage the intellect and ruin careers. Perhaps the greatest toll is on children, for whom risks include depression, eating disorders, unwanted pregnancies, aggressiveness, and crime.
But the news is hopeful. Emotional intelligence is not fixed at birth, and the author shows how its vital qualities can be nurtured and strengthened in all of us. And because the emotional lessons a child learns actually sculpt the brain's circuitry, he provides guidance as to how parents and schools can best use this window of opportunity in childhood. The message of this eye-opening program is one we must take to heart: the true "bell curve" for a democracy must measure emotional intelligence.
A Macmillan Audio production.
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Rezensionen
This book is concisely written and hits some very good points on the subject of emotional intelligence. The author reminds us that learning to manage our emotional intelligence is an ongoing, time consuming, rewarding process. ?Learning from your wins and failures is a smart way to manage your life? is such an important point when learning to balance logic and emotion. Practice is key, like any other thing in life. I really liked the real world examples used to highlight the major topics. Using being upset over the stress of traffic is a wonderful example of how our emotional intelligence can guide us through an upset that really doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things. Overall, this book was well written and provided sensible, practical information regarding emotional intelligence.
Most of the information in the book was somewhat trivial - or maybe it was made to seem trivial by excessive repetition? I also found the book a bit dully written, partly because of the repetition but also its style, and it didn't quite capture me. It was difficult to relate to many of the examples as they were so extreme (murders/killings, e.g. school shooters) and although it was highlighted that there is no need for a tragedy to leave a person emotionally disabled, I was left wondering couldn't the point be made with seemingly normal people. This would have added some complexity to the subject as well and made it more interesting. With all the murdering going on, it almost seemed as if the author wanted to shock people. The problem was highlighted with statistics on teen pregnancies and depression. Yes, that is the obvious result from emotional detachment but there was nothing (or too little) on why is this problem getting more serious now. What is the effect of wars on the people? Is it like we live in constant war and the only way to survive is to shut down emotionally and, as a consequence, this emotionlessness is passed down to our children and grandchildren? Or is it the increased sense of individualism all over the western society? There were, however, some parts that were thought provoking and provided insight to my own life and experience. I still believe that there are better books on the subject (even when I haven't read except this one).
Even though this book came out in 1995, it's still pretty relevant. What would be interesting if the author wrote an updated version of this, using all the new data from neuroscience research, biology, psychology, and so on, to reinforce what he talked about in the original. The most interesting part of the book, I thought, was the documented work with emotional intelligence and children, something that I believe is still very relevant today. Children from certain school were taught to observe their emotions and to adjust them according to their situation. One example was a disagreement between to boys over a project they were working on in class, and the boy that was the most angry was taken aside to settle his mind and observe his emotions. He was guided to take the perspective of his project partner, to try and see things from his point-of-view, while examining his own emotions as to why he reacted the way he did. This, I believe, is an essential skill that all humans need to be taught, especially from a young age. Considering all the anger, confusion, hatred, and stress in the world (especially in the Western cultures), emotional intelligence needs to be taught to all in order to achieve a more balanced world.Though a bit outdated with many other books by other experts in psychology, sociology, neuroscience, etc., talking about this and many other, more updated, aspects of the human mind, this should still be read if you are at all interested in E.Q. and/or psychology.
Read a very long time ago, so not qualified to write the review now, but a formative book, with great insights.
exploration of 5 domains; Self-awarenessManaging EmotionsSelf-MotivationEmpathyHandling Relationships
Worth reading!
I decided to read this book after it had been recommended to me by my boss. He has been trying to increase his own "EQ" to improve his performance as a manager and local business owner. I generally don't read a lot of non-fiction, so this book took me a bit longer to read than I had planned. It wasn't that it was a difficult read, but there were some parts that were very information dense. I also felt like some parts got a bit repetitive, and I tended to just put the book down and not pick it up again for a day when this happened. Despite all this, I think the book was easy to read in that the language was approachable. Granted, I do have a strong science background, but I don't think it would be too hard to follow even if you don't have a masters in biology. I rated this book 4 out of 5 stars because above all, I found the topic very interesting and could see myself rereading this book.The book is divided into 5 parts: an introduction to emotions and the brain, an introduction to emotional intelligence, personal applications of emotional intelligence, interpersonal applications of emotional intelligence, and teaching emotional intelligence. The first part has a large focus on neuroscience and definitions of emotions. The second, third and fourth parts are the real meat of the book where you get into what emotional intelligence is and how it can be applied and beneficial to someone through out their lives and in their various relationships. The final part is mainly just prose advocating for emotional intelligence education becoming a larger part of our education system.The edition that I was reading was the tenth anniversary edition, published in 2005. The benefit of this was that the introduction was able to give some perspective on how the book has effected change since it's original publication. Also, there is a resources section in the back that has information on ways to educate yourself more about emotional intelligence.This is not a book about how to increase your emotional intelligence, it is an introductory text about what emotional intelligence is and its history. It does have some advice on how to be more emotionally intelligent, but it is not an educational text or self-help/instructional text by any means. The main detraction for me in this book was that the author does spend a lot of time focusing on how important emotional intelligence is in child development and in child education. This can get a bit tedious if you don't have kids or just aren't that interested in child development. Not to say that I'm opposed to learning about child development and parenting techniques, but as a childless adult, I found it wasn't relevant to me other than being interesting to know.As previously mentioned, overall I enjoyed this book and found the topic very interesting. I would definitely recommend this book.
i am looking for this book in spanish plz. this book is amazing
The narrator sounds like a robot. Awful. I didn't even think it was a real person and has piercing voice.
If this book was taught in high school as part of mandatory curriculum perhaps humanity would be more successful as a whole. Goleman brilliantly explores why emotional intelligence far surpasses IQ in determining how people will fare in work and in personal relationships. He also draws insightful correlations between our emotional failings in these areas and health. A must read for every person on Earth!
Pretty good. A little incomplete, because so much research has been done since, but more careful, plausible, and ultimately 'right' than the other related books I've been reading recently. I particularly appreciate the many times he says probably" and "might" and "often" - even the subtitle has the word "can" in it. And not an arrogant, self-centered "we" in the book - yay!
Btw, it's not a self-help book. And it's dense only if you don't have experience reading other popular science books. It's good science, but written for laymen. It is a little dry, especially compared to some of the modern pop-psych books.
There is one bit that examines psychopaths that might disturb people coping with autism - but he does make a note that not all people with the particular empathic deficit will be criminal. I imagine the problem is simply that autism was not well-known at the time. I have picked up another, more recent book, by the author at the library because 'autism' is listed multiply in the index and I'll be looking at that next.
I believe that we've (American parents, teachers, cops, & doctors) learned a lot about how important empathy and coping skills and anger management techniques, etc., are since this book came out. I do have hope for us.
I don't see the emotional/ social skills curricula he describes being added to most schools, despite the fact that students trained in emotional wisdom do better academically, though. I believe, as I'd be willing to bet most voters do, that it's still the job of the parent, the child's first teacher, to provide a child with a healthy mental foundation. Unfortunately not all children get this kind of nourishment, but for now I think we'll have to be satisfied that schools are at least aware of Goleman's advice, even if they can't implement it as thoroughly as he and I would like.
Recommended if you're interested - don't bother if you're not. Ok."
Btw, it's not a self-help book. And it's dense only if you don't have experience reading other popular science books. It's good science, but written for laymen. It is a little dry, especially compared to some of the modern pop-psych books.
There is one bit that examines psychopaths that might disturb people coping with autism - but he does make a note that not all people with the particular empathic deficit will be criminal. I imagine the problem is simply that autism was not well-known at the time. I have picked up another, more recent book, by the author at the library because 'autism' is listed multiply in the index and I'll be looking at that next.
I believe that we've (American parents, teachers, cops, & doctors) learned a lot about how important empathy and coping skills and anger management techniques, etc., are since this book came out. I do have hope for us.
I don't see the emotional/ social skills curricula he describes being added to most schools, despite the fact that students trained in emotional wisdom do better academically, though. I believe, as I'd be willing to bet most voters do, that it's still the job of the parent, the child's first teacher, to provide a child with a healthy mental foundation. Unfortunately not all children get this kind of nourishment, but for now I think we'll have to be satisfied that schools are at least aware of Goleman's advice, even if they can't implement it as thoroughly as he and I would like.
Recommended if you're interested - don't bother if you're not. Ok."
Excellent analysis and presentation on why emotional intelligence matters and how to improve it. Everyone. Read.
Halfway through, but make that another Summer read ... finished it!!! It was deep, hard read, way too scientific; I expected something more practical ....
This book is concisely written and hits some very good points on the subject of emotional intelligence. The author reminds us that learning to manage our emotional intelligence is an ongoing, time consuming, rewarding process. “Learning from your wins and failures is a smart way to manage your life” is such an important point when learning to balance logic and emotion. Practice is key, like any other thing in life. I really liked the real world examples used to highlight the major topics. Using being upset over the stress of traffic is a wonderful example of how our emotional intelligence can guide us through an upset that really doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things. Overall, this book was well written and provided sensible, practical information regarding emotional intelligence.
This book was recommended reading for a 2012 management program for which I was selected. I admit up front that I typically would not read it, but I thought I'd give it a shot and tried to keep an open mind. If "tried" foreshadows my conclusions...well, I tried.
Three quarters bio-anatomy (quite a number of surveys/studies cited, "suggesting" correlation), one sixth bold statements and conclusions from those surveys, leaving one twelfth that might have value in the workplace. That is, after all, the reason the subject was recommended. Actually, one twelfth is a bit generous (being 25 pages.) I flagged less than 20 to pull tidbits from. Opinion, yes, but this is my "review", thus my opinion counts.
I read this so that I might add to my leadership toolbox. Instead, I came away with a lesser impression of Goleman's position: "See? Biology supports this. I'm right, even if I can't make my case very convincing to people who don't think like me." Not to say that someone more emotionally attuned wouldn't buy into the entire theory, but I had too hard a time shaking off the questions I couldn't quite form in my head as I read the book. I felt there were too many forced conclusions. I don't fault Goleman for corralling the research supporting his model, but I wonder if he could look at the data and come up with something else, or if his bias drove him to seek out the studies that seemed to support his conclusions.
In short, the book did little to explain to me the subtitle "Why it can matter more than IQ" in - and I'll take the blame for this - terms I could accept, and worse, did a poor sell of the cover (10th anniversary edition) superlative "The groundbreaking book that redefined what it means to be smart."
Why is the business world so susceptible to faddish theories? Demings's Total Quality Managment...Six Sigma...life coaching...emotional intelligence. In a oddly serendipitous infrequent check on my LinkedIn page as I read this book, I noticed someone suggested as someone I might know was a "Certified Emotional Intelligence Consultant." Apparently, I am way behind the curve on this one. And like most things ignored, now that I am aware of emotional intelligence (EQ), I'm sure I'll see more of it.
Too little of the book was spent on anything practical and too much seemed to be spent on justifying the conclusions. Part Men Are From Mars..., part take-your-pick of self-help tracts, part disconnected psycho-studies, it seemed to me that Goleman could see only his conclusion from any scenario presented. "The single most important element in group intelligence, it turns out, is not the average IQ in the academic sense, but rather in terms of emotional intelligence." The "single most"? "it turns out"? Very definite, yet not very rigorous, nor conclusive. But while I admit not having the skills/background to point out where Goleman may be wrong, his absolute pronouncements registered discordant with me. How can you state so conclusively that what separates achieves is not their IQ (which Goleman rightly pegs as a measure of potential academic success, not as being "intelligent") but their EQ? Reaching.
"There is an old-fashioned word for the body of skills that emotional intelligence represents: character."
"old-fashioned"? Not in my book. If "character" fits, why invent a new term?
Lumping together common sense concepts such as cooperation and workplace harmony and rebranding them as "emotional intelligence" is brilliant. And a tad saccharine. Disclosing my aversion to diet sweeteners, you can see my reaction to this book. But I can appreciate those who can sell this serpentine lubricant - until the next fad.
Three quarters bio-anatomy (quite a number of surveys/studies cited, "suggesting" correlation), one sixth bold statements and conclusions from those surveys, leaving one twelfth that might have value in the workplace. That is, after all, the reason the subject was recommended. Actually, one twelfth is a bit generous (being 25 pages.) I flagged less than 20 to pull tidbits from. Opinion, yes, but this is my "review", thus my opinion counts.
I read this so that I might add to my leadership toolbox. Instead, I came away with a lesser impression of Goleman's position: "See? Biology supports this. I'm right, even if I can't make my case very convincing to people who don't think like me." Not to say that someone more emotionally attuned wouldn't buy into the entire theory, but I had too hard a time shaking off the questions I couldn't quite form in my head as I read the book. I felt there were too many forced conclusions. I don't fault Goleman for corralling the research supporting his model, but I wonder if he could look at the data and come up with something else, or if his bias drove him to seek out the studies that seemed to support his conclusions.
In short, the book did little to explain to me the subtitle "Why it can matter more than IQ" in - and I'll take the blame for this - terms I could accept, and worse, did a poor sell of the cover (10th anniversary edition) superlative "The groundbreaking book that redefined what it means to be smart."
Why is the business world so susceptible to faddish theories? Demings's Total Quality Managment...Six Sigma...life coaching...emotional intelligence. In a oddly serendipitous infrequent check on my LinkedIn page as I read this book, I noticed someone suggested as someone I might know was a "Certified Emotional Intelligence Consultant." Apparently, I am way behind the curve on this one. And like most things ignored, now that I am aware of emotional intelligence (EQ), I'm sure I'll see more of it.
Too little of the book was spent on anything practical and too much seemed to be spent on justifying the conclusions. Part Men Are From Mars..., part take-your-pick of self-help tracts, part disconnected psycho-studies, it seemed to me that Goleman could see only his conclusion from any scenario presented. "The single most important element in group intelligence, it turns out, is not the average IQ in the academic sense, but rather in terms of emotional intelligence." The "single most"? "it turns out"? Very definite, yet not very rigorous, nor conclusive. But while I admit not having the skills/background to point out where Goleman may be wrong, his absolute pronouncements registered discordant with me. How can you state so conclusively that what separates achieves is not their IQ (which Goleman rightly pegs as a measure of potential academic success, not as being "intelligent") but their EQ? Reaching.
"There is an old-fashioned word for the body of skills that emotional intelligence represents: character."
"old-fashioned"? Not in my book. If "character" fits, why invent a new term?
Lumping together common sense concepts such as cooperation and workplace harmony and rebranding them as "emotional intelligence" is brilliant. And a tad saccharine. Disclosing my aversion to diet sweeteners, you can see my reaction to this book. But I can appreciate those who can sell this serpentine lubricant - until the next fad.
I'm pleased to see this book has held up rather well over the years: I was afraid that it might've become dated. I'd been told the book was all about how it was more important to be emotionally savvy than to have a high IQ, but that wasn't really Goleman's point. He talks about the brain chemistry behind emotions and how imbalances there affect us. He also examines how "emotional literacy" - teaching children to identify and handle their emotions - can help one handle life's pressures as a teenager and an adult. While I see why he focused on children, I wish he'd talked more about how emotionally illiterate adults can do to help themselves and what can be done to help them.
A very good reference about emotional intelligence
My main thought after reading this book was, "Why in the world isn't deliberate EQ training a core part of the curriculum in all schools everywhere?" Sadly, not all kids have equal access to this kind of wisdom. Some learn it at home, but too many do not. And when it comes to skills, few are more valuable than emotional intelligence. So building emotional intelligence is a key to developing a productive, effective work force and a thriving community. Goleman's book gives the subject a thorough treatment.
In Emotional Intelligence, Goleman discusses the psychological principle “flow.” Described as a “state of self-forgetfulness and focused attention, a state of joy, even rapture,” this so-called modern notion was actually described by St. Paul in 1 Cor 15:10 where self-forgetfulness, joy, and rapture find a fuller expression when Paul discusses his work and claims that it is “by the grace of God I am what I am... I labored even more than all of them, yet not I, but the grace of God with me.” Herein we can begin to see the crack in Goleman’s system.Whereas Goleman exalts self-efficacy as ultimately underlying hope and optimism (and therefore performance and success in life), Paul sees the opposite. It is not in our ability to control our destiny that one finds hope and joy but rather in acknowledging the reality of the world: that Christ is Lord and you are not, and consequently you do not (and cannot) master the events of your life. For, according to Paul, if hope relied on you self-efficacy, all would be lost. Instead, hope rests in the sovereign lord of the universe’s promise to pull you through despite your shortcomings. Goleman arrives at his conclusions because he’s building on a shaky foundation and erecting an innovative framework that has not withstood the test of time. Instead he begins with the premise that the emotional side of the human brain is an out-dated byproduct of human evolution, a wiring system that biology demands we reckon with, but which our minds begrudge because of its non-rationality. It’s hard to see, since so much of the work is focused on EI over IQ, but when Goleman suggests that we “should strive to find an intelligent balance of reason and emotion” we see that intelligence must remain in the driver’s seat of our lives, even when EI is brought to center stage. Goleman’s imperative to seek balance also reveals the second of his foundational flaws: Actions are best when they are balanced, not necessarily when they are “right” or “virtuous.” To be sure, the right and virtuous action in most situations is often better described as “nuanced” rather than “extreme.” But seeking the middle for the middle’s sake is not path to success in this work—that is the path that seeks to avoid evil and hardships, not preserver through them and destroy them.As for Goleman’s specific advice, there is much to be commended. The problem is not that any of his pragmatic practices are bad or unhealthy by themselves, but rather that when done with the understanding that doing so gives you more control over life and its outcomes it sets people with a false hope.Goleman ultimately moves towards the conclusion that “cultivating intelligence is a cost-effective management imperative,” which beside giving misleading assurance in the reliability of inherently broken human beings, positions EI-informed practices’ value not in the quality of humans it produces, but in the stability and certainty of the work those humans create.
Emotional and Social Intelligence have been the topic of many books in the past decade. Like all seminal books, Daniel Goleman's "Emotional Intelligence" contains many interesting ideas, though in this case they are not entirely developed. Emotional Intelligence (EI) is different than normal "IQ" intelligence in that it concerns reading people, managing emotions, communicating effectively and generally being empathetic. The stereotype of the rocket scientist who can't relate to people (or get a date) comes to mind as illustrative of this difference. People with high EI, the book explains, do better in social relationships, have more friends, are better able to manage through life's challenges and perform better in school and the workplace (if IQ is held as a constant). The lack of EI education in schools is an increasing problem, Goleman explains, because the traditional social and familial roles and relationships that taught the skills to previous generations are changing (or more accurately, degrading). Those with low EI have less impulse control and are quicker to anger and acting out. This goes for children fighting in schools, to gang violence to domestic abuse. There is a fair amount of neuroscience talk in the book, focusing on the connections between different parts of the brain and how the different roles developed in the course of evolution and how many of these roles, once critical to our survival are no counterproductive. Acting without thinking would have saved your life in the days of the sabretooth tiger, but it can be a problem in the office. One major issue I had with this book was the lack of "how". There is a great deal of discussion regarding 'what' emotional intelligence is, 'when' it should be taught (younger is better), 'who' should learn it (everyone), and 'why' it should be taught (prevent violence, get better grades, be a better manager), but there is little more than the occasional anecdote regarding *HOW* to teach EI, to others or how to harness the lessons for yourself. For all the talk of the amygdala and its role in emotional life, there is little way for a person to control how this almond sized piece of the brain actually functions. Yet Goleman stresses repeatedly that EI an absolutely crucial skill. I found this very frustrating. Another issue with the book was that it seemed very clearly written for critics of the thesis. The repeated assurances that "no, really, EI is important!" became rather tiresome. Those of us who are reading the book already accept that, or at least are willing to suspend our disbelief for the time being, can we please move on? All in all, it's a good book with interesting ideas about an extremely important topic. However, it was not exactly what I was looking for and as such, I was quite disappointed. Goleman has other books that may be more practical regarding this topic, but other authors might be more up my alley. If you aren't familiar with what EI is, or you'd like to flesh out your understanding of it, I would recommend this book. If you have a fair understanding of it conceptually and would like exercises to improve your EI or teach someone else, this is not the right choice for you.
Emotional intelligence, rather than IQ, determines people's success in life. That said, the author for 300 pages defines and illustrates instances of emotional intelligence, or lack of it. He describes passion's slaves: angry, anxious, depressed, and repressed people, and the master aptitude: impulse control, positive thinking, optimism, and flow. Extremely valuable.
I came accross Goleman's name in an anthology of Buddhist writing, and remembered that my therapist had mentioned the title to me. I got the book at a library sale, and read it right away. I was amazed at the insights that were applicable to my situation.
The concept is useful, but I found the book unnecessarily long. Certainly emotional intelligence is important. I'm glad to learn that it can be learned. Perhaps he provides too much of a survey of the research and cases.
Great read, but Goleman falls for the the nurture assumption (see Judith Rich Harris) time and time again. Also, his recommendation that we teach kids these skills in school is a bit utopian given that we haven't managed to teach them much math or English. Other than those gripes, the book is important and loaded with interesting stuff
Well it's a great idea, but it's not "self help" he gives no solution to the problem!Luckily I found a couple of books that do have solutions: "Crucial Conversations" and "Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Dummies". Both teach the skills you need if you don't have natural "emotional intelligence"
The ideas in this book are probably right. I did find it very boring though. It might be interesting for a teacher because a lot of it is about teaching children emotional intelligence.
I thought this book was very well written and it gave me a lot to think about. I am definately not classically intelligent so I was happy about having a new perspective on things. This is a good book to keep around and look back into every so often.
I first read this in 1998 when the idea of emotional intelligence was new to me, and found it quite heavy-going in places. However I was very much taken with the principles that the ability to empathise with others is as important as linguistic or mathematical ability, and that when children are given good social skills at home or at school, they are less likely to turn to dangerous or illegal behaviour in their teens. It’s taken me ten months to re-read it. That’s partly because I have been reading so many other books, but also because a lot of it is scientific or technical. Neural pathways and other medical terms tend to go above my head. I was more interested in the sections about family life, and suggestions for spotting when someone is in the grip of strong emotion. I was also interested again in the section looking at ways in which children can be taught emotional intelligence skills. It’s not a book to read in one sitting; there’s a great deal to take in, and much to think about. Perhaps there’s some repetition and over-technical parts, but as a handbook for a layperson wanting to know more about emotions and emotional intelligence, I would recommend it.