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    How Should a Person Be?
    How Should a Person Be?
    How Should a Person Be?
    Audiobook5 hours

    How Should a Person Be?

    Written by Sheila Heti

    Narrated by Allyson Ryan

    3/5

    ()

    About this audiobook

    Reeling from a failed marriage, Sheila, a twenty-something playwright, finds herself unsure of how to live and create. When Margaux, a talented painter and free spirit, and Israel, a sexy and depraved artist, enter her life, Sheila hopes that through close-sometimes too close-observation of her new friend, her new lover, and herself, she might regain her footing in art and life.

    Using transcribed conversations, real emails, plus heavy doses of fiction, the brilliant and always innovative Sheila Heti crafts a work that is part literary novel, part self-help manual, and part bawdy confessional. It's a totally shameless and dynamic exploration into the way we live now, which breathes fresh wisdom into the eternal questions: What is the sincerest way to love? What kind of person should you be?
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherTantor Media, Inc
    Release dateAug 26, 2016
    ISBN9781515980674
    How Should a Person Be?
    Author

    Sheila Heti

    Sheila Heti is the author of eleven books, including the novels Pure Colour, Motherhood, and How Should a Person Be?, which New York deemed one of the "New Classics" of the twenty-first century. She was named one of the "New Vanguard" by the New York Times book critics, who, along with a dozen other magazines and newspapers, chose Motherhood as a top book of 2018. Her books have been translated into twenty-four languages. She lives in Toronto.

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    Reviews for How Should a Person Be?

    3/5

    208 ratings22 reviews

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    • 4/5
      Beautiful and true.
    • 2/5
      I really appreciate Sheila Heti’s style — biting, brutally honest, quirky but I wasn’t able to relate to much of what she said.... so it fell flat for me. I think I might be too old for her.
    • 4/5
      perspicacious, charming, indulgent, pretentious, but also utterly unique and moving.
    • 1/5
      I gave it 120 pages to hook me. Lena Dunham became the narrator. Nope.
    • 3/5
      It's kind of Miranda July meets Lena Dunham (who both offered reviews on the back). I really liked the style, because I do like Miranda July, but ultimately found the voice and main idea kind of pointless. All of the characters were silly and not at all self-aware. Overall a well-written but annoying book.
    • 5/5
      Raw, unflinching, funny, tender, clever, breezy.
    • 5/5
      This one hit the funny - in a good way, not the funny peculiar way, although perhaps there was a bit much of her post-husband relationship with fully explicit, overwhelming sexual commandments. It started very, very well with the prologue, where ideas flowed fast and furious, and did create a lot of off-page musings, but then ebbed slightly in the conversational mode, where I think i was meant to be impressed by her friends' hipness, and was. Most of all, I was left a little confused by her rift with Margaux. Nothing much had really happened much between them in the action. I surmised that she had employed a character very like Margaux in detail in her writing while making that character a true winner of 'ugly painting competition', not a creator of ugly painting that can't help but be beautiful, due to Margaux's incomparable brushstrokes. The emotion was subtle, sensitive - so sensitive and so obscure that I think it was a maybe just a little beyond my feeling-and-understanding radar.
    • 1/5
      Self indulgent yuck. Want back the time I wasted reading this. And a shower.
    • 3/5
      I didn't hate this, but I didn't love it either. I really did want to love it, because I haven't read a novel in a while that I've been absolutely crazy about. I liked a lot of what the protagonist/author had to say about self perception and the idea of being confused about "how you should be," but I guess I'm sort of at my limit of semi autobiographical pieces of art from twenty somethings about finding their place in the world. This book said some of the same things in a new way, but I find the overall genre to be self indulgent and repetitive and also maybe speaks to our self obsessed culture in which everyone thinks that their own story alone will be fascinating, marketable and inspiring to others. But at the same time, maybe ident want to hear about it because I'm living through similar issues? I guess id be interested to see if she could write about anything but herself.

      Also I hated (HATED) the last scene. Two of the protagonist'a friends were playing a game of squash that managed to become a symbol for a 20 something's path through their early adult life. It was so cheesy. "Then finally Jon said, 'I don't think they even know the rules. I think they're just slamming the ball around.' And so they were."
    • 4/5
      Difficult to see this as a novel, when it distinctly reads as a memoir. Whilst her introspection can at times feel like a swamp of self-centredness - the revelations are often quite profound.
    • 3/5
      The basics: This novel features a narrator named Sheila Heti. Heti uses some actual conversations with friends in this genre-defying "novel of life." The character Sheila seeks answers to the titular question "how should a person be?"My thoughts: Going into How Should a Person Be?, I was excited. I have a fondness for experimental novels. I may not always love them, but I do enjoy exploring new and creative approaches to literature. As I read, I was as enraptured trying to figure out what Heti (the author) was doing as what Sheila (the character) was saying. There's a sense of late night, wine-fueled conversations about deep things in the early pages of this novel. That will likely either intrigue you or have you running for the hills, but I couldn't get enough of it. As Sheila struggles with her identity, to some extent, but really herself, that identity is caught up in her work:"I had spent so much time trying to make the play I was writing--and my life, my self--into an object of beauty. It was exhausting and all that I knew."This notion particularly stands out to me in this novel, because How Should a Person Be? is an exercise in the artist being part of the work. Where do the writer and character merge and overlap? This exploration was riveting, but soon it became clear there wasn't enough plot. The setup was lovely, but the book's second half felt more forced and stilted. I longed for more conversations and scenes like this one from earlier in the novel:"One good thing about being a woman is we haven't too many examples yet of what a genius looks like. It could be me. There is no ideal model for how my mind should be. For the men, it's pretty clear. That's the reason you see them trying to talk themselves up all the time. Favorite passage: "I will give up pot because it makes me paranoid. But I will stay close to God because he makes me paranoid."The verdict: While I adore Heti's writing and love the idea of this book, the second half isn't as strong as the first half. As a whole, it's a disappointment, but it's certainly a book I'm glad I read. The moments of brilliance are definitely worth sifting through the rest.
    • 2/5
      I've never seen Girls, that TV show everybody seems terribly keen on, but from time to time I read articles criticising it for being about Privileged White Girls. How Should A Person Be? made me think of every criticism I've ever read levelled at that TV show which I haven't seen.I didn't like it. I didn't find it funny. It wasn't just that it had nothing to say to me - which it didn't, but that hasn't always mattered in the past with other books - but what it did say seemed so self-involved. Self-involvement is not an inherently bad thing, but this one just didn't do it for me at all. It's not even a case of disliking the "main character", it's more that I'm busy and I don't have much time for this "Will I matter?", "I want to be important!" navel gazing, particularly when it's pretty much non-fiction.Maybe it's a cultural thing. Maybe this just doesn't translate well to a Brit. Maybe, as a creator of art, I have limited patience for people worrying about creating art (because you do it or you don't do it and believe me that you are the only person who cares either way). Maybe it's because people who want to be artists (rather than people who want to make art) make me gripe. Or maybe, as somebody who considers it a life well lived if you make it to the end with most of the limbs you started out with, I was never going to care about a book wholly concerned with creating problems for oneself.
    • 4/5
      How Should a Person Be? is unlike any novel I have ever read and might be the first fictionalized memoir I have read feeling as if it everything contained therein is all true. Heti doesn't follow any rules in constructing How Should a Person Be? There is no linear storyline, not plot, no traditional literary methods or techniques. Some parts read as if I was following Heti's stream of conscious as it oozed straight out of her brain and onto the page. Heti is nakedly raw in exposing her fears, wants, needs, ambitions and insecurities. Therefore, what may come across as hubris and an over inflated sense of self worth and importance in a less self aware writer feels genuine and relatable when expressed by Heti. When Heti writes about needing to write a play or book that will change the world and how all of humanity relates to one another, I thought: of course!! Do it! Me too! Heti's description of her all encompassing obsession with her lover Israel and her need and complete willingness to be subjugated, humiliated, used and abused by this man due solely to the way that he is able to sexually dominate her is best described by Miranda July when she writes, "[How Should a Person Be? is] a book that... shatters every rule we women try to follow in order to be taken seriously -- and thus is nothing less than groundbreaking..."
    • 5/5
      Sheila Heti's novel is a remarkable piece of work - and you may love, or hate, it but if you read this book, you will surely learn something from it. Heti very groups herself amongst "ones who live their lives not just as people but as examples of people. They are destined to expose every part of themselves, so the rest of us can know what it means to be human." And in having exposed her innermost thoughts to the reader, Ms. Heti is able to explore her own psyche and life, and the universal question of "how should a person be?", with incredible wittiness, tenderness, hilarity and even vulgarity. This may not be an easy novel to read for some, because of the "stream-of-conscious" manner in which it is written - it reads more like haphazard notes written to the self, by the author, than a properly written novel. But this quirk makes it that much more personable - like the author wanted to be able to pour out her soul in its entirety, with no editing or packaging of any sort. I, for one, really enjoyed being able to read her unabashed, and incredibly bold, thoughts in such a manner.
    • 3/5
      As an account of the artistic paralysis and self-consciousness that attacks writers, Lerner's "Leaving the Atocha Station" is a more satisfying and fleshed-out work. Heti often strives for a harmony between the grandiose and the vulgar, and it does not always work well. This is still, however, a very readable and often insightful novel.
    • 4/5
      Miranda July, author, filmmaker, actress, and all around weird/awesome person, is quoted on the cover of my copy of this book (which was received at no cost from the publisher): "A book that risks everything . . . complex, artfully messy, and hilarious."I think those words sum up Ms. July pretty aptly, but I'm not sure they should be applied to this book. I did end up giving it 4 out of 5 stars, but it was a difficult book to judge and in the end the only thing that score represents is whether or not I enjoyed it - and for the most part, enjoy it I did.That said, there were a lot of issues with the book. Most distracting was the fact that much of it felt more like notes the author had jotted down to help her write a book, as opposed to a finished and polished piece. Admittedly, this is clearly supposed to feel sort of stream-of-consciousness and less polished versus more, and in some parts it worked. In some parts, the style felt honest and gave me the feeling that I was spying on someone's conversations and peeking into their diary.On the other hand, there were definitely sections that could use some serious cuts and some that needed a lot more fleshing out. The author seemed to be able to spot an interesting tidbit of conversation, or a unique way of summing something up, but I don't think her and I agree on the best way to showcase these things. There were moments when she went on and on about something that seemed innocuous, only to eventually get to a payoff that seemed it could have been arrived at in a much more direct way. Other times she seemed to get from Point A to Point B before I even realized she'd taken off.Overall I'm glad I read this book and I found the quirkiness to be more good than bad, but I'm not sure how wide the audience is for this book. I would say that if you like Miranda July you'll probably like this book, but based on other reviews it appears that's not necessarily the case.
    • 2/5
      I received this book as an Early Reviewer. Sheila, the main character and narrator, is a playwright and the book follows her through a journey of self. She is trying to figure out how she should be and for the majority of the book, lives only as a reflection of what others think of her or of how she wants to be perceived. Perhaps I'm reading this at a time when I can't relate to Sheila, or when such ways of thinking seem juvenile, but most of the book was irritating and seemed to take itself way too seriously. It was fast, easy reading, but I expected more meat.
    • 2/5
      I just could not get into this book. I finished it, because I had to. I was bored at the onset and it just got worse as the book went on. Very disappointing as I was expecting to really love it. Maybe I've gotten too old and I couldn't deal with the angst. I'd like to say positive things but afraid I can't, even the cover was horrible.
    • 3/5
      Not a bad book. But definitely not the best book I have ever read. I think the overall idea was good and relevant, but I think there was more rambling than was necessary. I think that the middle 1/3 of the book could have been left out, and I still would have gotten the idea and not felt like I had missed anything. I will definitely read this again later to see if there is something that speaks more loudly to me. I will also recommend it to some friends who will appreciate it more than I did.
    • 3/5
      I found the premise of a story centered around a person's search for how to live an 'authentic' life intriguing, but was very disappointed in the book on a whole. The writing was choppy, with conversations that were oddly stilted and usually didn't ring true. The narrative was frequently tangential, and the plot almost nonexistent. The main character, Sheila, was neither particularly compelling or likable. Her analyst's comments about a third of the way into the book (roughly pages 81-86) were one of the very few highlights, and aptly drew attention to the immaturity that defined her throughout the book. I'm in my forties, and long ago lost patience with whining, aimless 20-somethings with a huge sense of entitlement and little work ethic. Perhaps younger readers will find much to commiserate with, but I did not.
    • 5/5
      I really loved reading this book. It's part play, part philosophical treatise, part story. It's about a close friendship, how we can hurt those we love when we mean to help - the dangers of letting someone in so close. But it's also about being someone of value. What is art worth? Is it a waste of time to create art? How do you become someone important? What is genius and how do you discover your own genius?
    • 4/5
      This is a clever book. Because it is fictional nonfiction nothing has to make sense or be tied to the truth. When other reviewers use words like "candid" and "honest" I don't know what they are talking about. What's truth and what's fantasy is not up to us. Maybe there is a Margeaux and maybe there isn't. As readers we are just along for the ride and in the end, while I tried to keep that in mind, I found myself asking who the hell cares? If read as a fictionalized memoir it is murky and smudged like a dirty aquarium full of beautiful and exotic fish or a greasy fingerprinted champagne flute filled with the finest bubbly. In other words, gorgeous writing wrapped up in some psychobabble musings. When trying to read this as an existential "who am I?" it was cumbersome and meandering. However, read with an "I Could Care Less" attitude it was sexy and raw and funny and smart. All the things I am looking for in a good book, truthful or not. I wouldn't want to classify this as self-help, self-indulgent, or self anything.