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    Without Tess
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    Without Tess
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    Without Tess
    Ebook273 pages2 hours

    Without Tess

    By Marcella Pixley

    4.5/5

    ()

    Currently unavailable

    Currently unavailable

    About this ebook

    Tess and Lizzie are sisters, sisters as close as can be, who share a secret world filled with selkies, flying horses, and a girl who can transform into a wolf in the middle of the night. But when Lizzie is ready to grow up, Tess clings to their fantasies. As Tess sinks deeper and deeper into her delusions, she decides that she can't live in the real world any longer and leaves Lizzie and her family forever. Now, years later, Lizzie is in high school and struggling to understand what happened to her sister. With the help of a school psychologist and Tess's battered journal, Lizzie searches for a way to finally let Tess go.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherMacmillan Publishers
    Release dateOct 11, 2011
    ISBN9781429969826
    Unavailable
    Without Tess
    Author

    Marcella Pixley

    Marcella Pixley is a middle school language arts teacher and a writer. Her poetry has been published in various literary journals, and she has been nominated for a Pushcart Prize. Her first book, Freak, received four starred reviews and was named a Kirkus Best Book of the Year. She lives in Westford, Massachusetts, with her husband and two sons.

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    Reviews for Without Tess

    4.5/5

    23 ratings7 reviews

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    • 4/5
      Without Tess is a whirlwind of a novel - running the gamut from emotional to sweet to disturbing, all easily within a few pages. It's a forthright and honest look at youth, childhood, grief and mental illness without shying away from darker moments or themes. Told in the very real voice of Elizabeth "Lizzie" Cohen, the first-person perspective makes the events of the novel with Tess much more personal, much more visceral for the reader than a more removed third-person omniscient would have done. This super-involving story of Lizzie's life and of Tess's death is compelling and a must-read. This is a novel that was hard for me to read, but I never once felt like giving up on it.Born two years before Lizzie, Tess is the center of the book around which everyone else operates. The relationship between the two girls is the most central and important one of the entire book: one does not feel whole without the other, in the beginning. Tess by herself is not a very sympathetic character - she's vibrant, fragile, unique and precocious but she's also removed, sullen and controlling. Ms. Pixley does an incredible job of presenting Tess as sympathetic through the eyes of her sister, but the reader can discern early on that there is just something off about Tess even before Lizzie understands. She's very creative and imaginative, but what is play and make-believe for Lizzie is life for Tess. Lizzie is much more grounded than her sister, from the beginning even as children. Intelligent but not motivated to succeed at school, Lizzie never really recovered from Tess's death - for obvious reasons. Fifteen years old at the time of the novel, Lizzie occasionally comes across as the traumatized ten-year-old she was when Tess killed herself. Lizzie herself is also hard to like, in her present-day incarnation, as opposed to the completely sympathetic and likeable version present in the flashbacks. Sympathy and empathy come easily for the character, but genuine affection was harder to find. Lizzie continually punishes herself for her sister's death, and even carries a journal belonging to Tess as a daily reminder of her guilt and grief.A series of flashbacks, some quite lengthy and others a tad shorter, shed light upon Tess's problems through her whole life. The flashbacks are so extensive and well-done they present a more rounded picture of Lizzie's life growing up with - and under the thumb of - Tess. I really enjoyed the narrative structure of this novel; the juxtaposition of Lizzie's changing attitudes towards Tess as she ages is realistic, though sad for more-than-valid reasons. Poems from Tess are scattered between chapters relevant to the poem itself and lend an extra air of atmosphere and personality for both the book and Tess herself. Like I said, this can be a hard book to get through - I had to take several breaks because the author pulls no punches with the brutally honest portrayal of Tess and her intense illness.I did have a few problems while reading Without Tess. There's a rather unsubstantiated subplot about religion and searching for God (Tess and Lizzie are Jewish with a very devoutly Catholic friend) that seems completely unnecessary and distracting from the actual plot. The quasi-philosophical wonderings of Tess in the midst of Tess's meltdown burdens the plot and the pacing for the more riveting main story. I found it off-putting when the girls' Christian friends urged them to pray "the right way" etc., and I also found it unreal for the ages of the girls at the time. Another thing that tried my belief was how the sisters talked/wrote at the time of Tess's death. Both definitely come across as much older than the intended 10/11. Their dialogue is far too mature, as are the themes and ideas of Tess's poetry. They both seemed more in the range of actual teenagers: 16-18 would be a more accurate representation. Besides the few minor issues I had with this novel, I found Without Tess to be a great novel. It's emotionally stirring and completely heartfelt without stinting on the darker moments or glossing over Tess's issues. Lizzie's story might not be the easiest or the most fun to read, but it is rewarding to do so. Pick this one up if you're looking for a young-adult novel that isn't afraid to make you cry, or one to make you think.
    • 4/5
      What does mental illness do to a family? A young girl describes the toll her older sister's complete break with reality, eating disorders, and subsequent death have on her and her parents. Well-told and intense, and absolutely riveting.
    • 4/5
      By far the most notable thing about Without Tess is the gorgeous prose. Marcella Pixley’s writing is lilting and lyrical and lovely. It was perfect for a story about a dreamy girl who lives in a world full of fairies and flying horses. Pixley gives the novel a dreamy feeling, but darkness almost always edges in, leaving the reader unsure of whether Without Tess is a pleasant dream or a nightmare. Much of this darkness comes from Tess, the titular character. Tess is quirky and filled to the brim with imagination, but she’s also psychotic and reckless. Tess’s world of delusions is vivid and terrifying, and though her Pixley lets us glimpse into the mind of someone truly insane. Through flashbacks we get to see Tess sink further and further into her imaginary world, and while it’s a bit horrifying, it’s also fascinating and very absorbing. You can’t help but read on, wondering about Tess’s ultimate demise.Another enjoyable thing about Without Tess is the poetry sprinkled throughout. The poetry is truly beautiful, and it’s whimsicality really helped portray what kind of child Tess was. The way the poems lead up to a flashback, too, was very well done, and I liked trying to compare Tess’s perspective (the poems) and Lizzie’s (the narrative). Lizzie’s narration has two sides—there are the flashbacks, where she’s a naïve child who looks up to her sister, and there is the present, where Lizzie tries to explain to her therapist why she won’t let Tess go. I personally enjoyed Young Lizzie’s narration the best—her innocence provides an interesting perspective, and because of her youth, everything is candid; there is no unreliable narrator. I found Lizzie’s current predicament to pale in comparison to her experiences with Tess; perhaps shedding light on why she refuses to forget her sister. Still, the interactions between Lizzie and her therapist were fun, and I enjoyed the ongoing gag about Lizzie using Tess’s poetry to pass her creative writing class.Without Tess is another rare YA story that could be considered magically realistic. There are elements of fantasy—so fans of make-believe will enjoy those parts—but there are also contemporary and psychological themes that ground the book in reality. Because of this, Without Tess will appeal to all YA readers—young and old. I definitely enjoyed reading about Tess and Lizzie; their adventures were fun and occasionally scary, and their tie to each other was otherworldly.
    • 5/5
      Actual Rating 4.5 Stars Growing up my sister Katie was my best friend. My family moved around a lot so she was oftentimes the only constant in my life. She was creative, exciting, adventurous. All the things I longed to be myself. And I truly believe that I would have followed her anywhere and done anything she'd asked. Perhaps this is why Without Tess has affected me so profoundly. It was a story that immediately resonated with me and I found myself tearing up just a few short pages in. Tess is ill, that much is clear from the pages of her journal and Lizzie's recollection of their relationship. She lives in a fantasy world. She is delusional and is in equal parts protective of and cruel to her younger sibling. She often makes Lizzie feel like she is inferior or requires that she do something dangerous in order to prove her love for Tess. As Lizzie grows up and away from Tess, Tess becomes desperate to keep Lizzie believing in her fantasies. She doesn't want to participate in therapy or take medication that will take away the magic. Eventually, she becomes depressed and chooses to end her life, leaving Lizzie without an intense guilt for having been unable to save her sister. Now a teenager, Lizzie must come to terms with what happened and through her sister's journal entries understand why it happened. The prose is lyrical, poignant, incredible. Ms. Pixley knows how to create a daring, dark, and emotionally taut experience for her readers. Her characters are well-developed, multi-faceted, complex. There were times I despised Tess's behavior and times I wanted to cry for her. And Lizzie. I adored Lizzie. Especially younger Lizzie who blindly follows Tess. Who worships her older sister. Who reminded me so much of me. I cannot say enough about this book. I LOVED it. Seriously Ms. Pixley, I need more books like this in my life. Please. I beg of you, write more like this and I will continue reading. This story broke my heart. It's a painful look at mental illness, love, loss, and guilt that will take me a while to recover from. I recommend it for anyone who likes an emotional contemporary or who finds themselves in need of a good cry.
    • 4/5
      Without Tess is a haunting tale of mental illness, grief and survival. The blurring of imagination and reality in childhood is one of it's immense joys, I remember pretending I was a mermaid while swimming and hoping to find fairies in the garden. Eventually most of us lose that sense of possibility but in this novel, Tess retreats into her fantasies and is lost.Alternating between the present and the past we learn of fifteen year old Lizzie's overwhelming guilt and grief over her lost childhood relationship with her sister, Tess. At ten Lizzie idolises her older sister, Tess is bold and imaginative and their play is characterised by make-believe. As the sister's story unravels it becomes obvious to the reader that Tess is mentally ill especially as their innocent play becomes something dark and sinister. Eager to please her eleven year old sister, Lizzie lets herself be drawn into Tess's games but is never sure if Tess is only pretending or really believes her wild fantasies. The tension builds as Lizzie's confusion grows and Tess's behaviour becomes more outlandish.I thought Pixely captured Lizzie's struggle with her sister's behaviour realistically. She is on the cusp of maturity where a child still longs for magic even though they know it doesn't really exist. The emotional and intellectual conflict for Lizzie is intense and as a child she is torn by her loyalty to Tess and her growing awareness of what is accepted behaviour. I didn't find it all surprising that at fifteen Lizzie was still unable to reconcile her feelings about her late sister, particularly when the issue of her Tess's illness was ignored at home both before and after her death.Tess is revealed through Lizzie's memories and the legacy she left in the form of a journal. The author skilfully and cleverly reveals how Tess's imagination slides inexorably into delusion. The reader is aware before Lizzie is that there is something wrong with Tess. I watched a documentary on childhood psychosis not too long ago and I feel the author really captured the eerie demeanor and thought processes of a mentally ill child. I sympathised with Tess, a mere child dealing with psychosis that probably frightened her almost as much as Lizzie, but I was simultaneously creeped out by her.The first person point of view gives is a sometimes odd mix of childish naivety and maturity but the language of Without Tess is lyrical. Tess's poetry from her journal precedes each chapter, with each piece more disturbing, adding to the atmosphere of the novel. The pacing is perfect, building slowly to the tragic conclusion without ever losing tension.Without Tess is labeled as YA but I think in general it as best suited to an older reader but I can see great value in this novel for teens of any age who have a mentally ill sibling. Without Tess is a compelling read that examines a difficult subject in a sensitive yet honest manner.
    • 5/5
      Without Tess is an achingly gorgeous read. The writing is so lyrical and the characters so vivid, I felt as if I were in the same room with them. The story focuses on Lizzie whose sister Tess died when she was younger. Six years later she is still coping with the grief.Eleven-year-old Tess lives in a fantasy world. In the beginning I was able to connect with Tess. Like her, I had a very active imagination when I was young. As the story moves forward, the reader realizes there is something mentally wrong with Tess. She refuses to break out of her fantasies and this causes much pain, both physical and emotional, for her younger sister who just wants to grow up. The book alternates between past and present, allowing the reader to experience Lizzie’s childhood with her unpredictable sister, and showing us how Lizzie and her family are still dealing with the death of Tess. The book is also spattered with fantastical poetry written by Tess which helps illustrate the chapters nicely. Though at times the wording in the poetry felt a little mature, even for a precocious eleven-year-old, it didn’t bother me. This is a book that could very easily be passed over since it does deal with some darker subject matter, but in my opinion, it’s one that should not be missed.(Review based on an Advanced Reader’s Copy courtesy of the publisher via NetGalley)
    • 4/5
      I am SO glad that I stumbled upon this book via Netgalley because I absolutely know I would have skipped over it at the bookstore. The cover is just not oooh la la for me. And yes, although I know one should not judge a book by its cover, I'm superficial like that.This book is A-May-Zing. I was immediately drawn into Lizzie's story as she sits in the office with her shrink going through her sister Tess's journal. Tess is dead and even though it's years later, Lizzie isn't dealing with it so well.Lizzie and Tess had a unique relationship. Tess creates these fantastical scenarios where magic happens, mermaids exist, and Merlin whispers secrets to her. Lizzie adores her sister and is always willing to play along. Except there finally comes a time in childhood where Lizzie is done pretending and Tess is adamant that she's not.So what makes this book A-May-Zing? Pixley's description of an emotionally sick little girl is gut wrenching and so realistic that I truly felt I KNEW Tess and Lizzie. At parts it was painful to read. Lizzie doesn't realize how disturbed her sister really was and the biggest obstacle in dealing with her death is accepting that bit of knowledge. There were moments when Tess was vicious and manipulative, always testing Lizzie's love and loyalty for her. Often, these tests would put Lizzie's life in danger. Yet young Lizzie loved her unabashedly. It's the older Lizzie that can't make sense of her adoration and hate.Told in flashbacks, you'd think that it'd get a bit confusing. But it never does. The writing is that seamless. I read this book in one sitting.