Who Was She? From "The Atlantic Monthly" for September, 1874
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Bayard Taylor
Bayard Taylor (1825-1878) was an American poet, literary critic, and travel writer. Born in Kennett Square, Pennsylvania, he was raised in a wealthy family of Quaker farmers. At 17, he began working as a printer’s apprentice and soon turned to poetry under the recommendation of Rufus Wilmot Griswold. Finding success with his first volume, Ximena, or the Battle of the Sierra Morena, and other Poems (1844), Taylor became a prominent travel writer, visiting Europe and sending accounts of his experience to such publications as the Tribune and The Saturday Evening Post. Throughout his career, he traveled to Egypt, Palestine, China, and Japan, interviewing such figures as commodore Matthew Perry and German scientist Alexander von Humboldt. Beginning in 1862, Taylor served for one year as a U.S. diplomat in St. Petersburg, publishing his first novel in 1863. Over the next several years, he traveled across the American west with his wife Maria, publishing Colorado: A Summer Trip (1867), a collection of travel essays. His late work Joseph and His Friend: A Story of Pennsylvania (1870), originally serialized in The Atlantic, was reviewed poorly upon publication, but has since been recognized as America’s first gay novel.
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Who Was She? From "The Atlantic Monthly" for September, 1874 - Bayard Taylor
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Title: Who Was She?
From The Atlantic Monthly
for September, 1874
Author: Bayard Taylor
Release Date: October 24, 2007 [EBook #23166]
Last Updated: February 7, 2013
Language: English
*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK WHO WAS SHE? ***
Produced by David Widger
WHO WAS SHE?
By Bayard Taylor
From The Atlantic Monthly
for September, 1874
Come, now, there may as well be an end of this! Every time I meet your eyes squarely, I detect the question just slipping out of them. If you had spoken it, or even boldly looked it; if you had shown in your motions the least sign of a fussy or fidgety concern on my account; if this were not the evening of my birthday, and you the only friend who remembered it; if confession were not good for the soul, though harder than sin to some people, of whom I am one—well, if all reasons were not at this instant converged into a focus, and burning me rather violently, in that region where the seat of emotion is supposed to lie, I should keep my trouble to myself.
Yes, I have fifty times had it on my mind to tell you the whole story. But who can be certain that his best friend will not smile—or, what is worse, cherish a kind of charitable pity ever afterward—when the external forms of a very serious kind of passion seem trivial, fantastic, foolish? And the worst of all is that the heroic part which I imagined I was playing proves to have been almost the reverse. The only comfort which I can find in my humiliation is that I am capable of feeling it. There isn't a bit of a paradox in this, as you will see; but I only mention it, now, to prepare you for, maybe, a little morbid sensitiveness of my moral nerves.
The documents are all in this portfolio under my elbow. I had just read them again completely through when you were announced. You may examine them as you like afterward: for the present, fill your glass, take another Cabana, and keep silent until my ghastly tale
has reached its most lamentable conclusion.
The beginning of it was at Wampsocket Springs, three years ago last summer. I suppose most unmarried men who have reached, or passed, the age of thirty—and I was then thirty-three—experience a milder return of their adolescent warmth, a kind of fainter second spring, since the first has not fulfilled its promise. Of course, I wasn't clearly conscious of this at the time: who is? But I had had my youthful passion and my tragic disappointment, as you know: I had looked far