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    Chocolate and Vanilla
    Chocolate and Vanilla
    Chocolate and Vanilla
    Ebook136 pages2 hours

    Chocolate and Vanilla

    By Wendy Alexander

    ()

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    About this ebook

    What are the three things that all successful long term relationships have in common?
    How do these successful couples deal with day to day problems and still have a loving relationship?
    How can you use these principles to turn your life around and be truly happy in all areas – personal, business and community?
    Unless you are a hermit living on a desert island you need to relate to people. Your success in all areas of your life depends on how well you communicate with the people around you. It doesn’t matter if you’re a mum, a salesperson or a CEO. How you communicate with the people around you defines how successful you are.
    This book is an often raw and gritty tale of one woman’s struggle through a lifetime of racial hatred and discrimination. She reveals her healing journey through exploring her life and the lives and feelings of those who have worked through their cultural differences. A series of interviews with everyday people provide the insights for the teachings and healing messages revealed inside. These everyday folk have lived through their own cross cultural battles and discriminations to emerge stronger, happier and more committed to each other.
    Positive change and lasting healing rarely happens when you’re on your own. We need each other to heal our damaged selves. We need to heal ourselves before we truly enjoy life and experience true happiness within and with our friends and family. We need each other to become the best we can be.
    If you’re interested in positive change in all areas of your life, read this book. It’s inspiring, empowering and eye-opening.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherWendy Alexander
    Release dateNov 10, 2011
    ISBN9781466134904
    Chocolate and Vanilla

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      Book preview

      Chocolate and Vanilla - Wendy Alexander

      Chocolate and Vanilla

      By Wendy Alexander

      Copyright 2011 Wendy Alexander

      Smashwords Edition

      This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

      Table of Contents

      What People are Saying about Chocolate and Vanilla

      Prologue

      Section 1

      Chapter One - My Journey Through Segregation

      Chapter Two - Cross-Cultural Meetings

      Chapter Three – A Journey Through the Sun and Rain

      Chapter Four - Revelations of Everyday Life

      Chapter Five - Teachings for the Next Generation

      Chapter Six – Wisdom from the Everyday Journey

      Section 2 - The Principles for Healing

      Communication

      Commitment

      Courage

      Change

      Know and Accept Yourself

      Feminine Energy

      Love – The Greatest Gift

      Epilogue

      Appendix 1 – Interview Questions

      Appendix 2 – References

      About the Author

      What People Are Saying about Chocolate and Vanilla

      Wendy's story, beautifully rendered, reveals the very real pain she experienced as a child growing up within a culture too blinded by racial hatred to see the advantages in multiculturalism. The book is as much a stark reminder of the role we have to play in promoting diversity as much as it is a book of hope for those who have experienced injustice. Wendy's book offers the reader a goal of racial tolerance. I offer a further step on that path; I offer the ultimate goal of human acceptance. – Gary Singer, Deputy Lord Mayor of Melbourne, Australia.

      This is a healing book for anyone who has been through difficult separations or relationship agonies. The pages overflow with honest dialogue of cross-cultural love relationships, where cultural contrasts add curry to the yin/yang frustrations already prevalent in so many relationships. It made me laugh out loud as I relate to the frustrations experienced by the couples. Chocolate and Vanilla is a personal, yet universal, journey of healing through time, new relationships, cultural understanding, personal discovery and serendipity. – Mansze Lew, single parent and divorcee of Chinese-Australian marriage, Melbourne, Australia.

      Wendy and her book are an example to all of us of what truth and sharing can achieve. Her story and the stories of the other subjects in her book make you feel like they have a community in its readers. It made me realize that we all suffer the same worries, sadness and are confronted by the same questions. Wendy doesn't claim to answer them but she poses some amazingly clear solutions and offers compassion and companionship for those that travel with her on this journey of understanding and acceptance. I loved reading this book as it enabled me to learn so much about a friend and discover so much about strangers who I feel I could now call friends. – Georgia Van C, actress and comedienne, Los Angeles, USA.

      This book needed to be written, and it needed to be published. The author has skilfully melded experiences from her own childhood under apartheid into an exploration of cultural differences in Australia, and has drawn out from these experiences lessons on cultural diversity, mutual respect and tolerance of difference. – Helen O’Donnell, mother, researcher, educator – Ireland.

      Wendy's approach is as refreshing as it is courageous. In order to make sense of her world she explores the questions most people don't ask and has come up with a cathartic and healing journey for people living in a multicultural world. We may all be speaking English but what are some of the meanings behind the words we utter? It’s an enlightening read and touched many chords for me as well. – Sheryl Furman, IT professional and wife– Melbourne, Australia.

      This is a very good book and I really enjoyed reading it. I rarely read a book from cover to cover. Either I don’t have time or lose interest in reading, but this book kept me interested to the end! It is great to read about the author’s life and to know how she felt about growing up in a segregated culture. I have been surprised so many times while reading this book and I have learned a lot on how cultural differences can affect relationships in a deep way if you don’t respect and accept the differences in each other’s culture. I found this book so enlightening. – Donna Morris, Administrator, wife and mother, London, UK.

      This story of the author’s journey through and beyond the hatred of apartheid is a clear illustration of the indomitability of the human spirit. Wendy's experiences, far from crushing her spirit, have served to give her a depth and strength of character which radiates out from every page. Whilst the book’s central theme is cross-cultural relationships, there are so many lessons within about love, communication and emotional honesty which speak to every human being, regardless of race or background. It is an invitation to love deeply, communicate honestly and live fully with ourselves and others. – Adam O’Donnell, IT Professional, Personal and Development Coach and father – Melbourne, Australia.

      Wendy's book is a testimony to the power of emotion and action that humans hold within their hands. Two conflicting yet powerful emotions are portrayed – the power of hatred that causes so much destruction, loss and sorrow AND the power of love that is capable of conquering all. Here is a book that clearly shows that hate does not serve us and instead if we continue to find a way to co-exist, society could reach its full potential. Through the stories of Chocolate and Vanilla we are given glimpses of the journeys of people who have learned to embrace one another and their differences. Learning to take this acceptance and embracement to a greater level is the next journey we must ALL learn to walk. – Amalia Matzaridis, participant in book research, business owner, masseur – Melbourne, Australia.

      Chocolate and Vanilla offered me great insight into the socio-political landscape in South Africa during the apartheid years from the author's perspective. It highlighted and raised my awareness of the injustices of racial prejudice and intolerance in South Africa and globally. I found this book to be an invaluable read. – Andrew Geldenhuys – Systems Administrator, Melbourne, Australia.

      I found Chocolate and Vanilla a great book which promotes unity, empowerment and self-responsibility. My favourite part is how she explains what she has learned at the end of each chapter. What a wonderful tool and empowering phenomena this could be for everyone to take personal responsibility for their life. This is just one of many blessings and teachings that have her be an amazing role model. Read this book and let it be the pathway to inspire you! Wonderfully lived Wendy! – Marie McNeal, spiritual and personal development coach – Los Angeles, USA.

      Prologue

      Chocolate – The Colour of My Skin – (Wendy Alexander)

      Chocolate was the colour of my skin

      As I twirled in my innocent childhood spin

      For I still knew that carefree pleasure

      A young child captures like a hidden treasure

      Time goes by and chocolate loses its flavour

      For the wounds of bigotry are nothing to savour

      And I long for the days when I did not know

      That hurtful names like a weed would grow

      Strangling my pride as it ridiculed my mind

      At times leaving nothing but hatred to find

      Now black is the colour of my skin

      And I wonder when that became a sin

      My childhood innocence has been marred

      As the years of slurs my soul has scarred

      And as I shrink from the colour of black

      Longing for the days when I can go back

      When chocolate was the colour of my skin

      My twirl was fresh, my mind not in a spin.

      I was seven years old when I first discovered that my skin was black and what that meant growing up in a place like South Africa in the 1970s. I thought it was chocolate. To my young mind that meant everything sweet, yummy and tasty. I didn’t fully understand the implications of being born a person of colour in South Africa at that age. The day I learned that my skin was black remains etched in my mind for many reasons. It was the day I first experienced racial bigotry. That day I lost my childhood belief that I belonged to the world and it belonged to me. The experience I went through made me feel that I was different. It wasn’t an endearing different; it was a different that felt uncomfortable. Though I didn’t know why at that time, it was a different I wanted to reject. The confusion I felt inside created a need to understand why one person would treat another in such an unkind way.

      As time went by and many more experiences of bigotry followed, my confusion turned to hurt, anger and fear. My need to understand that kind of human behaviour grew. I did little to appease that need. It remained something unanswered in the back of my mind. Without knowing it consciously, my negative experiences influenced me in two ways. In one way it was the underlying factor for many of my limiting decisions that invariably led to suffering on an emotional, physical or spiritual level. In another, it became the driving force for me wanting to be part of anything that tried to understand, cultivate and advocate racial and cultural harmony.

      A friend asked me one day what I would do if I wasn’t doing my day job. He wanted to know what I’d do if time or money wasn’t an issue. Without thinking or blinking I replied that I’d be involved in promoting cultural and racial harmony through speaking and through my writing. I don’t know if I displayed an over-zealous passion for the subject. He wouldn’t leave it alone until I had given him a plan

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