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    The Taming of the Shrew In Plain and Simple English (A Modern Translation and the Original Version)
    The Taming of the Shrew In Plain and Simple English (A Modern Translation and the Original Version)
    The Taming of the Shrew In Plain and Simple English (A Modern Translation and the Original Version)
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    The Taming of the Shrew In Plain and Simple English (A Modern Translation and the Original Version)

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    About this ebook

    The Taming of the Shrew is timeless. The films 10 Things I Hate About You and Deliver us from Eva were each based on the play; the classic western McLintock! even had an episode about the show. But if you have tried to read it and simply stopped because you don't get it, then you are not alone. Let's face it..if you don't understand Shakespeare, then you are not alone.

    If you have struggled in the past reading Shakespeare, then we can help you out. Our books and apps have been used and trusted by millions of students worldwide.

    Plain and Simple English books, let you see both the original and the modern text (modern text is underneath in italics)--so you can enjoy Shakespeare, but have help if you get stuck on a passage.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherBookCaps
    Release dateDec 8, 2011
    ISBN9781466001541
    The Taming of the Shrew In Plain and Simple English (A Modern Translation and the Original Version)
    Author

    BookCaps

    We all need refreshers every now and then. Whether you are a student trying to cram for that big final, or someone just trying to understand a book more, BookCaps can help. We are a small, but growing company, and are adding titles every month.Visit www.bookcaps.com to see more of our books, or contact us with any questions.

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      Book preview

      The Taming of the Shrew In Plain and Simple English (A Modern Translation and the Original Version) - BookCaps

      About This Series

      The Classic Retold series started as a way of telling classics for the modern reader—being careful to preserve the themes and integrity of the original. Whether you want to understand Shakespeare a little more or are trying to get a better grasps of the Greek classics, there is a book waiting for you!

      The series is expanding every month. Visit BookCaps.com to see all the books in the series, and while you are there join the Facebook page, so you are first to know when a new book comes out.

      Characters

      Persons in the Induction A LORD CHRISTOPHER SLY, a tinker HOSTESS PAGE PLAYERS HUNTSMEN SERVANTS

      BAPTISTA MINOLA, a rich man of Padua VINCENTIO, an old gentleman of Pisa LUCENTIO, son to Vincentio; in love with Bianca PETRUCHIO, a gentleman of Verona; suitor to Katherina

      Suitors to Bianca GREMIO HORTENSIO

      Servants to Lucentio TRANIO BIONDELLO

      Servants to Petruchio GRUMIO CURTIS

      PEDANT, set up to personate Vincentio

      Daughters to Baptista KATHERINA, the shrew BIANCA

      WIDOW

      Tailor, Haberdasher, and Servants attending on Baptista and Petruchio

      SCENE: Sometimes in Padua, and sometimes in PETRUCHIO'S house in the country.

      Comparative Version

      Induction

      Scene I

      Before an alehouse on a heath

      [Enter HOSTESS and SLY.]

      SLY. I'll pheeze you, in faith.

      I'll hit you, I swear.

      HOSTESS. A pair of stocks, you rogue!

      [A curse], you lowborn person!

      SLY. Y'are a baggage; the Slys are no rogues; look in the chronicles: we came in with Richard Conqueror. Therefore, paucas pallabris; let the world slide. Sessa!

      You're very ignorant; the Slys are not lowborn; look in the histories: we came [to England] with Richard the Conqueror. Therefore, paucas pallabris; let the world slide. Sessa!

      HOSTESS. You will not pay for the glasses you have burst?

      You will not pay for the glasses you have broken?

      SLY. No, not a denier. Go by, Saint Jeronimy, go to thy cold bed and warm thee.

      No, not a penny. Go away, Saint Jeronimy, go to your cold bed and get warm.

      HOSTESS. I know my remedy; I must go fetch the third-borough.

      I know what to do; I must go fetch a policeman.

      [Exit.]

      SLY. Third, or fourth, or fifth borough, I'll answer him by law. I'll not budge an inch, boy: let him come, and kindly.

      No matter the policeman, I'll answer him by law. I won't budge an inch, boy: let him come, and gently.

      [Lies down on the ground, and falls asleep.]

      [Horns winded. Enter a LORD from hunting, with Huntsmen and Servants.]

      LORD. Huntsman, I charge thee, tender well my hounds;

      Huntsman, I command you, take good care of my hunting-dogs;

      Brach Merriman, the poor cur, is emboss'd,

      Brach Merriman, the poor dog, is scratched,

      And couple Clowder with the deep-mouth'd brach.

      And give Clowder something for his mouth.

      Saw'st thou not, boy, how Silver made it good

      Did you not see, boy, how Silver did well

      At the hedge-corner, in the coldest fault?

      At the corner of the hedge at the critical moment?

      I would not lose the dog for twenty pound.

      I would not lose that dog for twenty pounds.

      FIRST HUNTSMAN. Why, Bellman is as good as he, my lord;

      He cried upon it at the merest loss,

      He howled at the slightest loss,

      And twice to-day pick'd out the dullest scent;

      And twice today picked up the faintest scent;

      Trust me, I take him for the better dog.

      Trust me, I consider him the better dog.

      LORD. Thou art a fool: if Echo were as fleet, I would esteem him worth a dozen such.

      You are a fool: if Echo were as fast, I would consider him worth a dozen such.

      But sup them well, and look unto them all;

      But feed them well, and look after them all;

      To-morrow I intend to hunt again.

      FIRST HUNTSMAN. I will, my lord.

      LORD. [ Sees Sly.] What's here? One dead, or drunk? See, doth he breathe?

      What is this here? A man dead, or drunk? See, does he breathe?

      SECOND HUNTSMAN. He breathes, my lord.

      Were he not warm'd with ale,

      If he were not warmed with alcohol,

      This were a bed but cold to sleep so soundly.

      This would be too cold a bed for him to sleep so soundly.

      LORD. O monstrous beast! how like a swine he lies!

      Oh monstrous beast! He sleeps so much like a pig!

      Grim death, how foul and loathsome is thine image!

      Grim death, how disgusting is your image!

      Sirs, I will practise on this drunken man.

      Gentlemen, I will experiment on this drunken man.

      What think you, if he were convey'd to bed,

      What do you think, if he were taken to a bed,

      Wrapp'd in sweet clothes, rings put upon his fingers,

      Wrapped in the best of clothes, rings put on his fingers,

      A most delicious banquet by his bed, And brave attendants near him when he wakes,

      And good servants near him when he wakes,

      Would not the beggar then forget himself?

      Would the beggar not then forget who he was?

      FIRST HUNTSMAN. Believe me, lord, I think he cannot choose.

      SECOND HUNTSMAN. It would seem strange unto him when he wak'd.

      It would seem strange to him when he woke.

      LORD. Even as a flattering dream or worthless fancy.

      Much like a dream or worthless fantasy.

      Then take him up, and manage well the jest.

      Then take him up, and do a good job with the joke.

      Carry him gently to my fairest chamber,

      Carry him gently to my most beautiful room,

      And hang it round with all my wanton pictures;

      And decorate it with all my nudes;

      Balm his foul head in warm distilled waters,

      Wash his disgusting head in warm, clean waters

      And burn sweet wood to make the lodging sweet.

      And burn cedar to make the room smell good.

      Procure me music ready when he wakes,

      Get me music ready when he wakes,

      To make a dulcet and a heavenly sound;

      To make a melodious and a heavenly sound;

      And if he chance to speak, be ready straight,

      And if he happens to speak, be ready straight away,

      And with a low submissive reverence

      And with low, submissive respect

      Say 'What is it your honour will command?'

      Ask, 'What is it your honor will command?'

      Let one attend him with a silver basin

      Let one man serve him with a silver bowl

      Full of rose-water and bestrew'd with flowers;

      Full of rose-water and decorated with flowers;

      Another bear the ewer, the third a diaper,

      Another carry the jug, the third a towel,

      And say 'Will't please your lordship cool your hands?'

      And ask, 'Will it please your lordship to cool your hands?'

      Some one be ready with a costly suit,

      Someone should be ready with expensive clothes,

      And ask him what apparel he will wear;

      Another tell him of his hounds and horse,

      And that his lady mourns at his disease.

      And that his wife is sad about his disease.

      Persuade him that he hath been lunatic;

      Persuade him that he has been a lunatic;

      And, when he says he is--say that he dreams,

      For he is nothing but a mighty lord.

      This do, and do it kindly, gentle sirs;

      It will be pastime passing excellent,

      It will be an excellent pastime,

      If it be husbanded with modesty.

      If it is done carefully.

      FIRST HUNTSMAN. My lord, I warrant you we will play our part,

      My lord, I promise you that we will play our part,

      As he shall think by our true diligence,

      As he shall think by our true hard work,

      He is no less than what we say he is.

      That he is nothing other than what we say he says.

      LORD. Take him up gently, and to bed with him,

      Pick him up gently, and take him to bed,

      And each one to his office when he wakes.

      And each one do his job when he wakes.

      [SLY is bourne out. A trumpet sounds.]

      [Sly is carried out. A trumpet blows.]

      Sirrah, go see what trumpet 'tis that sounds:

      Sir, go see what trumpet it is that blows:

      [Exit SERVANT.]

      Belike some noble gentleman that means,

      It is probably some noble gentleman that intends,

      Travelling some journey, to repose him here.

      Traveling some journey, to rest here.

      [Re-enter SERVANT.]

      How now! who is it?

      What's going on? Who is it?

      SERVANT. An it please your honour, players

      If it pleases your honor, actors

      That offer service to your lordship.

      LORD. Bid them come near.

      Tell them to come near.

      [Enter PLAYERS.]

      Now, fellows, you are welcome.

      PLAYERS. We thank your honour.

      LORD. Do you intend to stay with me to-night?

      PLAYER. So please your lordship to accept our duty.

      If it pleases your lordship to welcome us.

      LORD. With all my heart. This fellow I remember

      Since once he play'd a farmer's eldest son;

      Since he once played a farmer's eldest son;

      'Twas where you woo'd the gentlewoman so well.

      It was where you wooed a noblewoman so well.

      I have forgot your name; but, sure, that part

      I have forgotten your name; but, surely, that part

      Was aptly fitted and naturally perform'd.

      Was suitably cast and naturally performed.

      PLAYER. I think 'twas Soto that your honour means.

      I think it was Soto that your honor means.

      LORD. 'Tis very true; thou didst it excellent.

      It is very true; you did an excellent job.

      Well, you are come to me in happy time,

      Well, you have come to me at a fortunate time,

      The rather for I have some sport in hand

      For I would rather have some fun

      Wherein your cunning can assist me much.

      Where your skills can help me a great deal.

      There is a lord will hear you play to-night;

      There is a nobleman that will hear you act tonight;

      But I am doubtful of your modesties,

      But I am doubtful of your self-restraint,

      Lest, over-eying of his odd behaviour,--

      In case, thinking excessively about his odd behavior -

      For yet his honour never heard a play,--

      For his honor has never heard a play before -

      You break into some merry passion

      That you start laughing

      And so offend him; for I tell you, sirs,

      And in that way offend him; for I tell you, sirs,

      If you should smile, he grows impatient.

      If you smile, he will be irritated.

      PLAYER. Fear not, my lord; we can contain ourselves,

      Don't worry, my lord; we can keep ourselves contained,

      Were he the veriest antick in the world.

      Even if he were the funniest man in the world.

      LORD. Go, sirrah, take them to the buttery,

      Go, sir, take them to the kitchen,

      And give them friendly welcome every one:

      And give each of them a friendly welcome;

      Let them want nothing that my house affords.

      Let them lack nothing that my house can provide.

      [Exit one with the PLAYERS.]

      Sirrah, go you to Barthol'mew my page,

      Sir, you should go to my page Bartholomew,

      And see him dress'd in all suits like a lady;

      And dress him in lady's clothes;

      That done, conduct him to the drunkard's chamber,

      That done, take him to the drunkard's room,

      And call him 'madam,' do him obeisance.

      And call him 'madam,' treat him with respect.

      Tell him from me--as he will win my love,--

      Tell him from me – since this will gain my favor -

      He bear himself with honourable action,

      He carry himself with an honorable attitude,

      Such as he hath observ'd in noble ladies

      Such has he has observed in noble ladies

      Unto their lords, by them accomplished;

      Towards their husbands, by them accomplished;

      Such duty to the drunkard let him do,

      Let him treat the drunkard in that way,

      With soft low tongue and lowly courtesy,

      With soft, quiet words and humble courtesy,

      And say 'What is't your honour will command,

      And ask, 'What is it your honor will command,

      Wherein your lady and your humble wife

      So that your lady and your humble wife

      May show her duty and make known her love?'

      May show her duty and prove her love?'

      And then with kind embracements, tempting kisses,

      And then with kind hugs, tempting kisses,

      And with declining head into his bosom,

      And with a head resting on his chest,

      Bid him shed tears, as being overjoy'd

      Tell him to shed tears, as if overjoyed

      To see her noble lord restor'd to health,

      To see her noble husband restored to health,

      Who for this seven years hath esteemed him

      Who for these seven years has thought himself

      No better than a poor and loathsome beggar.

      No better than a poor and lowly beggar.

      And if the boy have not a woman's gift

      And if the boy does not have a woman's talent

      To rain a shower of commanded tears,

      To cry upon command,

      An onion will do well for such a shift,

      An onion can help with that,

      Which, in a napkin being close convey'd,

      Which, hidden in a napkin,

      Shall in despite enforce a watery eye.

      Shall force the eyes to water anyway.

      See this dispatch'd with all the haste thou canst;

      See this done with all the hurry you can;

      Anon I'll give thee more instructions.

      And afterwards I'll give you more instructions.

      [Exit SERVANT.]

      I know the boy will well usurp the grace,

      I know the boy will do a good job faking the grace,

      Voice, gait, and action, of a gentlewoman;

      Voice, walk, and behavior, of a noblewoman;

      I long to hear him call the drunkard husband;

      I long to hear him call the drunkard 'husband';

      And how my men will stay themselves from laughter

      And how my men will keep themselves from laughter

      When they do homage to this simple peasant.

      When they serve this simple peasant.

      I'll in to counsel them; haply my presence

      I'll be there to give them advice; hopefully my presence

      May well abate the over-merry spleen,

      May prevent an overly silly mood,

      Which otherwise would grow into extremes.

      Which otherwise would become extreme.

      [Exeunt.]

      Scene II

      A bedchamber in the LORD'S house

      [SLY is discovered in a rich nightgown, with ATTENDANTS: some with apparel, basin, ewer, and other appurtenances; and LORD, dressed like a servant.]

      SLY. For God's sake! a pot of small ale.

      For God's sake! Give me some cheap beer.

      FIRST SERVANT. Will't please your lordship drink a cup of sack?

      Will it please your lordship to drink a cup of fine wine?

      SECOND SERVANT. Will't please your honour taste of these conserves?

      Will it please your honor to taste these preserves?

      THIRD SERVANT. What raiment will your honour wear to-day?

      What clothes will your honor wear today?

      SLY. I am Christophero Sly; call not me honour nor lordship. I ne'er drank sack in my life; and if you give me any conserves, give me conserves of beef. Ne'er ask me what raiment I'll wear, for I have no more doublets than backs, no more stockings than legs, nor no more shoes than feet: nay, sometime more feet than shoes, or such shoes as my toes look through the over-leather.

      I am Christophero Sly; do not call me either 'honor' or 'lordship'. I never drank fine wine in my life; and if you give me any preserves, give me preserved beef. Never ask me what clothes I'll wear, for I have no more doublets than I have backs, no more stockings than I have legs, and no more shoes than I have feet: actually, sometimes I have more feet than I have shoes, or the kind of shoes that my toes peek out from the leather.

      LORD. Heaven cease this idle humour in your honour!

      May Heaven stop this mood in your honor!

      O, that a mighty man of such descent,

      Oh, that a mighty man of such family,

      Of such possessions, and so high esteem,

      So rich, and so well thought-of,

      Should be infused with so foul a spirit!

      Should be filled with so terrible a spirit!

      SLY. What! would you make me mad? Am not I Christopher Sly, old Sly's son of Burton-heath; by birth a pedlar, by education a card-maker, by transmutation a bear-herd, and now by present profession a tinker? Ask Marian Hacket, the fat ale-wife of Wincot, if she know me not: if she say I am not fourteen pence on the score for sheer ale, score me up for the lyingest knave in Christendom. What! I am not bestraught. Here's--

      What! Would you make me appear insane? Am I not Christopher sly, old Sly's son of Burton-heath; by birth a peddler, by education a card-maker, by fortune a bear-herder, and now by present profession a mechanic? As Marian Hacket, the fat lady barkeeper of Wincot, if she does no know me: if she says I am not fourteen pence in debt for ale, count me as the worst liar in all the Christian lands. What! I am not in trouble. Here's -

      THIRD SERVANT. O! this it is that makes your lady mourn.

      Oh! This is what makes your wife sad.

      SECOND SERVANT. O! this is it that makes your servants droop.

      Oh! This is what makes your servants depressed.

      LORD. Hence comes it that your kindred shuns your house,

      It is because of this that your relatives avoid your house,

      As beaten hence by your strange lunacy.

      As driven away by your strange insanity.

      O noble lord, bethink thee of thy birth,

      Oh noble lord, think of your position,

      Call home thy ancient thoughts from banishment,

      Call home your former thoughts from where they have been sent away,

      And banish hence these abject lowly dreams.

      And send away there these pathetic lowly dreams.

      Look how thy servants do attend on thee,

      Look how your servants serve you,

      Each in his office ready at thy beck:

      Each in his office ready at your beck and call:

      Wilt thou have music? Hark! Apollo plays,

      Will you have music? Listen! [The Greek/Roman god of music] plays,

      [Music]

      And twenty caged nightingales do sing:

      Or wilt thou sleep? We'll have thee to a couch

      Or will you sleep? We'll take you to a couch

      Softer and sweeter than the lustful bed

      Softer and sweeter than the luscious bed

      On purpose trimm'd up for Semiramis.

      Purposefully decked out for Semiramis.

      Say thou wilt walk: we will bestrew the ground:

      Say you will walk: we will lay out a carpet on the ground:

      Or wilt thou ride? Thy horses shall be trapp'd,

      Or will you ride? Your horses shall be decked out,

      Their harness studded all with gold and pearl.

      Their harnesses all studded with gold and pearls.

      Dost thou love hawking? Thou hast hawks will soar

      Do you love hunting with hawks? You have hawks that will soar

      Above the morning lark: or wilt thou hunt?

      Higher than the morning lark: or will you hunt?

      Thy hounds shall make the welkin answer them

      Your dogs shall make the sky answer them

      And fetch shall echoes from the hollow earth.

      And their howls shall echo from the hollow earth.

      FIRST SERVANT. Say thou wilt course; thy greyhounds are as swift

      Say you will race; your greyhounds are as quick

      As breathed stags; ay, fleeter than the roe.

      As male deer; indeed, more nimble than female deer.

      SECOND SERVANT. Dost thou love pictures?

      Do you love pictures?

      We will fetch thee straight

      We will fetch for you straightaway

      Adonis painted by a running brook,

      And Cytherea all in sedges hid,

      And Cytherea all hidden in the foliage,

      Which seem to move and wanton with her breath

      Which seem to move and dance with her breath

      Even as the waving sedges play with wind.

      The same way as the waving leaves play with wind.

      LORD. We'll show thee Io as she was a maid

      We'll show you Io as she was a young woman

      And how she was beguiled and surpris'd,

      And how she was tricked and surprised,

      As lively painted as the deed was done.

      Painted like it is happening right in front of you.

      THIRD SERVANT. Or Daphne roaming through a thorny wood,

      Scratching her legs, that one shall swear she bleeds

      And at that sight shall sad Apollo weep,

      So workmanly the blood and tears are drawn.

      The blood and tears are drawn with such skill.

      LORD. Thou art a lord, and nothing but a lord:

      You are a lord, and nothing but a lord:

      Thou hast a lady far more beautiful

      You are married to a lady for more beautiful

      Than any woman in this waning age.

      Than any other woman in these tough times.

      FIRST SERVANT.

      And, till the tears that she hath shed for thee

      And, until the tears she has shed for you

      Like envious floods o'er-run her lovely face,

      Like jealous floods overran her lovely face,

      She was the fairest creature in the world;

      She was the most beautiful creature in the world;

      And yet she is inferior to none.

      And yet there are still none better than her.

      SLY. Am I a lord? and have I such a lady?

      Or do I dream? Or have I dream'd till now?

      Or am I dreaming? Or have I dreamed until now?

      I do not sleep: I see, I hear, I speak;

      I smell sweet savours, and I feel soft things:

      I smell sweet scents, and I feel soft things:

      Upon my life, I am a lord indeed;

      And not a tinker, nor Christophero Sly.

      Well, bring our lady hither to our sight;

      Well, bring our lady here to see us;

      And once again, a pot o' the smallest ale.

      And once again, a glass of the cheapest beer.

      SECOND SERVANT. Will't please your mightiness to wash your hands?

      Will it please your mightiness to wash your hands?

      [Servants present a ewer, basin, and napkin.]

      [Servants present a jug, basin, and towel.]

      O, how we joy to see your wit restor'd!

      Oh, how glad we are to see you come to your senses!

      O, that once more you knew but what you are!

      Oh, that you know once again who you are!

      These fifteen years you have been in a dream,

      For the past fifteen years you have been dreaming,

      Or, when you wak'd, so wak'd as if you slept.

      Or, when you were awake, it was still as if you were sleeping.

      SLY. These fifteen years! by my fay, a goodly nap. But did I never speak of all that time?

      For the past fifteen years! My, what a nap. But did I never speak during all that time?

      FIRST SERVANT. O! yes, my lord, but very idle words;

      Oh yes, my lord, but very useless things;

      For though you lay here in this goodly chamber,

      For though you lay here in this good room,

      Yet would you say ye were beaten out of door,

      Yet you would say you were chased outdoors,

      And rail upon the hostess of the house,

      And yell at the hostess of the house,

      And say you would present her at the leet,

      And say you would take her to court,

      Because she brought stone jugs and no seal'd quarts.

      Because she did not bring the jugs you wanted.

      Sometimes you would call out for Cicely Hacket.

      SLY. Ay, the woman's maid of the house.

      Yes, the woman's maid of the house.

      THIRD SERVANT. Why, sir, you know no house nor no such maid,

      Why, sir, you have never known such a place or such a maid,

      Nor no such men as you have reckon'd up,

      And no such men as you have imagined,

      As Stephen Sly, and old John Naps of Greece,

      And Peter Turf, and Henry Pimpernell;

      And twenty more such names and men as these,

      Which never were, nor no man ever saw.

      Which never existed, and no man ever saw.

      SLY. Now, Lord be thanked for my good amends!

      Now, thank God for my recovery!

      ALL. Amen.

      SLY. I thank thee; thou shalt not lose by it.

      I thank you; you will not lose by it.

      [Enter the PAGE, as a lady, with ATTENDANTS.]

      PAGE. How fares my noble lord?

      How is my noble lord?

      SLY. Marry, I fare well; for here is cheer enough. Where is my wife?

      By Mary, I am doing well; for it is pleasant enough here. Where is my wife?

      PAGE. Here, noble lord: what is thy will with her?

      Here, noble lord: what do you want with her?

      SLY. Are you my wife, and will not call me husband? My men should call me lord: I am your goodman.

      PAGE. My husband and my lord, my lord and husband; I am your wife in all obedience.

      SLY. I know it well. What must I call her?

      LORD. Madam.

      SLY. Al'ce madam, or Joan madam?

      Alice madam, or Joan madam?

      LORD. Madam, and nothing else; so lords call ladies.

      Madam, and nothing else; that is what lords call ladies.

      SLY. Madam wife, they say that I have dream'd

      Madam wife, they say that I have dreamed

      And slept above some fifteen year or more.

      And slept here some fifteen years or more.

      PAGE. Ay, and the time seems thirty unto me,

      Yes, and that time has seemed like thirty years to me,

      Being all this time abandon'd from your bed.

      Having been all this time abandoned from your bed.

      SLY. 'Tis much. Servants, leave me and her alone. Madam, undress you, and come now to bed.

      It it much. Servants, leave me and her

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