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    Your Kid Said This!
    Your Kid Said This!
    Your Kid Said This!
    Ebook67 pages31 minutes

    Your Kid Said This!

    By Judi Birnberg

    ()

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    About this ebook

    This is a collection of hilarious, sweet, delicious quotes from children on various topics:

    Love, Brothers and Sisters, Potty Time, School, Food, Clothing, Logic, Grownups, Manners, Language, Sex and Swearing.

    It is accompanied by illustrations done by children.

    Who has more innocence yet insight than children? They speak the truth, even when adults are not sure they are ready to hear it.

    A few of the quotes would not be appropriate for very young children, although anyone familiar with the basic facts of life should have no trouble with these. The book is most definitely not smutty in any sense.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherJudi Birnberg
    Release dateMar 7, 2013
    ISBN9780615784045
    Your Kid Said This!
    Author

    Judi Birnberg

    As a former English major, English teacher, writer, corporate writing consultant and editor, I am in love with words and languages. Nothing is as refreshing to me as the language of young children. Their take on the world through their limited experience combined with their great curiosity results in so many original and brilliant observations. These are what I have compiled in this book, Your Kid Said This! (That title should be set in italics—but I have no way to do that from this screen. See how compulsive I am about writing and words?) If you have quotes from your own children, I would love you to send them to me for inclusion in another book. You can even include quotes your parents told you you said when you were a child; these words are timeless!

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      Book preview

      Your Kid Said This! - Judi Birnberg

      YOUR KID SAID THIS!

      Judi Birnberg

      Copyright © 2013 by Judi Birnberg

      Smashwords Edition

      This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This eBook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

      All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews. Please do not participate in or encourage the piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of the author’s rights. Purchase only authorized editions.

      CONTENTS

      1. Love

      2. Brothers and Sisters

      3. Grownups

      4. Food

      5. Language

      6. Logic

      7. Clothing

      8. Manners

      9. Potty Time

      10. Religion

      11. School

      12. Sex

      13. Swearing

      To all the delightful children who filled these pages with their wit and wisdom, and to Josh, Sarah and Kadijah, who provided the artwork, thank you! I love you all.

      LOVE

      Hillary and Brittany (both 6):

      Hillary: Some kid called me stupid!

      Brittany: Someone called you that? Was it a girl?

      Hillary: No, it was a boy.

      Brittany (going from mild shock to understanding): "Oh, well.

      That’s OK then. It means he likes you.

      ***

      David (6) told his mother that Natalie, his classmate on whom he had an enormous crush, had invited him to play at her house. When his mother said he must have been so excited when he got the invitation, David replied, Outside I looked normal, but inside there were little men jumping up and down!

      ***

      Jonathan (6) hoping to win Jennifer’s love from his main rival, Matthew, wrote her a love letter supposedly from Matthew but full of misspellings, thinking that Jennifer would never go for someone so careless and stupid. Dear Jenner, my swet…. Sadly, Jennifer was not put off Matthew’s lack of intellectual rigor and chose him to be her boyfriend.

      ***

      Kevin (4) told his mother that when she died he wanted to marry her because God will see how much I love you and make you come back to life again so I can have you forever.

      ***

      Mary (2) shook her head when her mother asked how much she loved her

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