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One Bloody Thing After Another
One Bloody Thing After Another
One Bloody Thing After Another
Ebook133 pages1 hour

One Bloody Thing After Another

Rating: 3.5 out of 5 stars

3.5/5

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Jackie has a map of the city on the wall of her bedroom, with a green pin for each of her trees. She has a first-kiss tree and a broken-arm tree. She has a car-accident tree. There is a tree at the hospital where Jackie’s mother passed away into the long good night. When one of them gets cut down, Jackie doesn’t know what to do but she doesn’t let that stop her. She picks up the biggest rock she can carry and puts it through the window of a car. Smash. She intends to leave before the police arrive, but they’re early.

Ann is Jackie’s best friend, but she’s got problems of her own. Her mother is chained up in the basement. How do you bring that up in casual conversation? “Oh, sorry I’ve been so distant, Jackie. My mother has more teeth than she’s supposed to, and she won’t eat anything that’s already dead.” Ann and her sister Margaret don’t have much of a choice here. Their mother needs to be fed. It isn’t easy but this is family. It’s not supposed to be easy. It’ll be okay as long as Margaret and Ann still have each other.

Add in a cantankerous old man, his powerfully stupid dog, a headless ghost, a lesbian crush and a few unsettling visits from Jackie’s own dead mother, and you’ll find that One Bloody Thing After Another is a different sort of horror novel from the ones you’re used to. It’s as sad and funny as it is frightening, and it is as much about the way families rely on each other as it is about blood being drooled on the carpet. Though, to be honest, there is a lot of blood being drooled on the carpet.
LanguageEnglish
PublisherECW Press
Release dateMay 1, 2010
ISBN9781554909896
One Bloody Thing After Another

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Rating: 3.5347222222222223 out of 5 stars
3.5/5

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  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Made me sad. Jackie was annoying as hell. Justice for Mitchie
  • Rating: 2 out of 5 stars
    2/5
    *Reviewed for NetGalley*One Bloody Thing After Another is an untraditional horror novel. It's format is spare and the language stark. This establishes the tone for the odd premise that combines three stories that veer from normalcy to the bizzare. The characters are simply drawn yet strangely engaging, particularly Jackie as a disturbed, yearning teen.The flow felt uncomfortable, perhaps that was the authors intent, but it made it difficult for me to settle into it, particularly near the end with Jackie's disjointed experiences. It was a very quick read, it took me less than hour at just over 110 pages (if you dismiss the blank page chapter breaks.One Bloody Thing After Another has some scenes that I admired for their creeping sense of unease and masterfully explores themes such as loss, alienation and sacrifice that are embedded in the arcs of the individual characters stories. What I had difficulty with is the stacatto style and structure so I can't say I enjoyed reading it all that much. I'd recommend One Bloody Thing After Another for those that like horror tales a little left of center or are just looking for something new to try.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    This was wonderful, but I truly wish I hadn't read it just before having the house to myself for several days.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    What an odd little book! And I mean that in a good way! Something seems to be wrong with Ann and Margaret's mother. Why is she coughing up blood? Jackie freaks out when she discovers that one of her "special" trees has been cut down, and causes such a spectacle that she is arrested. Of course, Jackie and Ann are friends--in fact, Jackie has a crush on Ann, but Ann is totally unresponsive. Perhaps she is too worried about keeping her mother satisfied?Although it is very short and reads oh so quickly, this little book really packs a punch. The story is fed out in drips and drabs, but there is just enough detail to allow an alert reader to fill in the blanks. Not always pleasant reading, but certainly intriguing! Terrific cover!
  • Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
    1/5
    If I had read the description of what would be in the book, I would not have taken the time to read it. At any rate, I started the book and it was an extremely fast read so I finished it.I only have one word to describe this book: CRAZY. Wait, I need two words. My other word would be WEIRD. I think it's supposed to be a horror, but it's not really. Actually it feels like a story from the Twilight zone - though not as good.Jackie's is the first story that we read. Jackie is really crazy. She just does whatever she wants, whenever she she feels like it. Her mom is a ghost that comes around and helps makes Jackie invisible whenever she needs it. Jackie is very impulsive and basically makes jokes when other people would be scared, mad, or nonchalant. For example, at one point Jackie gets arrested. For her one phone call she calls the desk of the officer near the phone. She has a crush on her friend Ann....Of course Ann has her own problems. Even though her mom is the zombie in the basement, she is the one that walks around like a zombie. She laughs sometimes and she talks but mostly her behavior is zombielike. When Jackie starts putting the moves on her she doesn't even responds. She just sits there. Ann and her sister have to find their zombie mom fresh meat to eat. Like I said, this book is crazy. And it's pretty awful what they feed their mom. I take that back - it's really disturbing. This book is an extremely fast read. It is very creepy. I have only read a few horror stories before so I don't know if they are all like this. Most of the book I found myself frowning, mainly it was because Jackie was one big psycho or because something else upset me. The only people I really liked was the old man and his dog. And even then he had a ghost holding her own head in her arms (dripping blood from its mouth). She meets him everyday at the end of his walk. This book was really weird and sometimes things just didn't make sense. There is one section were it's just a repeat of content from a previous section (done on purpose but still weird).I'd recommend this book if you're looking for something different, weird, creepy, and disturbing.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    One Bloody Thing After Another is an apt title to this book. It is a gory horror story, told in an episodic manner, with short chapters.It tells us the stories of Jackie, her trees and schoolgirl crush on her friend Ann; of Ann and her mother's strange disease that transforms her into something akin to an animal; and of Charlie, his dog that walks into corners, and the headless ghost that has him bother a tenant every single day. These storylines cross somewhat, but follow their own path.Jackie's story was interesting and, had this been another kind of book, I would have wanted to know more about her crush on another girl and her family life. It also felt like all the anger issues came out of nowhere, but then again maybe it was intended to be this way.In Ann's story I felt that something was missing. It seems like the we never went further that the surface of the character. The same thing with her mother and sister's affliction. I would have liked to know where it came from, what exactly it was. Anyway, this is probably the most frightening part of the book, and certainly the most gory.Charlie's story, and Mitchie's was lovely, probably my favourite, and I only wish there was more to of itI liked the way the book is structured, the short chapters with "to-the-point" language. I absolutely loved the [not so] hidden message in between chapter (it took me a while to realize it was there, I blame it on being a ebook, I'm not used to those), it stands as a story of its own, and completes the others. The entire concept of the third part of the book is amazing: very surreal and a bit like a dream, with the repetition of the same events, changing ever slightly (reminiscent of the movie Groundhog day, only darker. And weirder).I enjoyed this book, even if it's not my favourite genre. It is a fast read, but delivers what it promises.Recommended to gore and horror fans.I got this book from ECW Press, through NetgalleyAlso at Spoilers and Nuts
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Joey Comeau has written a funny, sad, and often gross horror novel, which while maybe not for everyone, was right up my alley.Ann and Jackie are teenagers with the usual the usual angst going on. Charlie is an old man with a dumber than dumb dog named Mitchie, who are an integral part of the book.Jackie has a crush on Ann, but Ann and her sister have a bigger problem....their Mom is a live flesh, eating monster. Nothing dead for her, no sir. As Ann and her sister struggle to feed Mom, and Jackie is mourning the loss of some of her special trees (first kiss tree, broken arm tree, dead mother tree), as she acts out in a very funny and violent way.The book is very short, but it makes you think about how far you would go for family.If you are squeamish, this might not be the book for you.I received this book from Shelf Monkey, via ECW Press. Thanks!
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    The cover of this book says just about all you need to know - the plot of this story seems normal at first, like the black cat on the cover, but reality is set on its side, and on second thought, appears slightly sinister. The title, too, is a tongue in cheek clue to the plot. Read it once, it's a mundane complaint. Read it again, and it is a quite chilling warning.I don't want to delve too much into the particulars of the plot as much of the spine tingling is related to the mystery of what comes next. On the surface, there are three subtly interwoven storylines, here. Jackie sees the world from a slightly different perspective than the rest of us, and marks the landmarks of her life with trees. Having just read Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson, I find Jackie to be slightly reminiscent of that book's Melinda. Ann's tale involves her mother and sister, and a problem at home that threatens to consume them. Charlie is a lonely older man who daily encounters a headless ghost on his walks with his ancient dog, Mitchie. These encounters always bring him to the doorstep of Mrs. Richards. Three people, caught in the day to day dealings with problems not quite so day to day. Each wanting to be understood, loved, and heard. I was enthralled by this book. I couldn't put it down. I wish it were longer. The writing was dreamlike and evoked a sense of normality laced with the unreal, youth touched by agelessness, longing tempered with boredom or perhaps irritation. The author gives us the promise, in part 4 that "Everyone gets their happy ending", but I don't think that any of the endings are quite what one expects. Although there are definite aspects of horror to this story, they are used to tell a much bigger tale. In considering this book again, it reads like a Brothers Grimm or Hans Christian Anderson fairy tale (not the Disney-fied versions) - a similar mix of the bloodthirsty, the fantastic and the mundane, a story for children, but not quite. I hunger for more books from this author...with big, pointy, blood-drenched teeth, I will devour them. I received a review copy of this book from ECW Press.

Book preview

One Bloody Thing After Another - Joey Comeau

"There have been spoof letter-writing books in the past, like The Lazlo Letters by Don Novello (a.k.a. Father Guido Sarducci) and several that followed. While the protagonist in Overqualified is just as unhinged as his predecessors, he’s significantly less giddy. A real story unfolds in these pages, about a departed brother and the sibling left behind. It’s sad and fragmented and, in places, funny. This slender epistolary novel is charming."

— Los Angeles Times

"[A] collection of wry, clever and demoniacal job-application letters, teeming with knife-edged malice and stomach-tearing hilarity. . . . Overqualified successfully deludes the fear of the faceless corporate entity by empowering the faceless applicant who has nothing to lose except securing a job he or she probably doesn’t want. If Comeau’s rebel-yell manifesto catches on like old Prometheus’s gift did all those years ago, human resources will never be the same again."

— Globe and Mail

"Joey Comeau’s collection of real cover letters, Overqualified (ECW Press) is pretty much sui generis. Not to mention sweetly written, bitter and bitterly funny. . . . One of the season’s most remarkable books."

— Macleans.ca

The letters are by turns hilarious and tragic, highly inappropriate and oversharing. The novel that results is both extremely funny and extremely sad, and above all, original — I’ve never read anything like it, and I want to read it again and again. . . . [Comeau] is a preternaturally skilled novelist, and he’s written one of the most original and most affecting books I’ve read in years.

— Bookslut

"Joey Comeau’s Overqualified is Robert Silverberg’s Dying Inside as redone by Steve Aylett. It’s Don Novello’s The Lazlo Letters as reinterpreted by Stanislaw Lem. It’s Judy Blume’s Are you There God? It’s me, Margaret as chewed up and spit out by J. G. Ballard. This epistolary fantasia viscerally captures the insanity of capitalism and the marketplace and blends it with domestic and personal anguish to produce a book whose melancholy is leavened by a surprising hilarity. These are the awesomely goofy files of some alien or celestial Human Resources Department, delivered straight to your door as if by the Smoking Gun website."

— Paul Di Filippo, author of The Steampunk Trilogy and Cosmocopia

"If I were one of the lucky

hr

managers who received an Overqualified cover letter, I’m not sure I’d hire Joey Comeau. But I am sure that the next time I found myself lying awake in bed at

3 am

, I’d be reaching for his number."

— Ryan North, Dinosaur Comics

Each letter rapidly digresses into something more akin to a diary entry than a professional missive. There is speculation as to humanity’s future, reminiscences from the narrator’s childhood, confessions of vulnerability and of sexual desire, all punctuated by vitriolic humour and unsettling instances of violence. There is much frustration in these letters — born of capitalism’s absurdities and of personal calamities — but there is also humour, compassion, and joy.

— Quill & Quire

"Overqualified is unlike anything you’ve ever read. Each of Joey Comeau’s letters comments, sometimes subtly, sometimes not, on the emptiness of the system to which we bow during a job search while it simultaneously reveals the humor, beauty, and pain that is all else in life, which, Joey Comeau wants you to realize, is short."

— About.com

A sometimes-hilarious, sometimes-crushingly sad romp through a man’s swelling nihilism and disenchantment. . . . This book is very much about nostalgia for a past of exaggerated quirks and curious beauty. So many of us are compelled to believe these things are on the fringes, are odd and unordinary, but this little novella, much like Miranda July of David Eggers’ stories, tries to portray these things unashamedly, as  ‘something that feels perfect and correct.’"

— MonstersAndCritics.com

"[Overqualified] has found a permanent home in my collection of books that have changed the way I look at and think about the world around me. . . . The book is chaotic and contradictory; incomplete, yet full of life; full of charm and wit and character."

— The Uniter

"Joey Comeau’s new novel Overqualified delivers an addictively humorous and dark alternative to the stone-cold task of getting employers to know you through a piece of paper. . . . Overqualified is a quick read, but crackles with hilarious desperation and deadpan sincerity. With these humorous letters, Comeau reveals how life is actually lived, and not just marketed."

— FFWD

I guarantee that you will laugh out-loud at least once and that you will try to share what was so funny with someone who will just stare at you like you are a freak.

— 410Media.com

The sincerity with which he writes is mesmerizing, and even though each cover letter is a scant two pages, they’re full of painful emotion. It’s a unique way to tell a story and definitely worth checking out.

— The Arizona Daily Wildcat

"Overqualified is the type of book you don’t read, you devour. Because the book is a series of letters, it’s short, and you can read it at your leisure. Maybe you can finish it in an afternoon, but you’ll never truly stop reading it. Years from now, you’ll unbind your tattered first edition, flip through the pages and reread an especially meaningful letter."

— Jack Central

"Overqualified fears no depths. It is unpredictably humorous. It is intriguingly disgusting. It is profoundly sad. And it’s sexy, in ways we might not admit out loud. The narrator’s internal complexities make the usually sterile cover letter form pulse with breath and blood. . . . If you’ve ever felt crazy, this book will help you realize that you’re not alone. If you’ve ever felt normal, this book will show you what you’ve been missing."

— Austinist

"[A] magnificent and timely curiosity . . . The letters are baffling and amusing at times, poignant or obsessive on other occasions. . . . During a time of economic uncertainty — when the practical and the existential seem eerily akin — Overqualified expresses the irrepressible humanity at the heart of our industries, and affirms the fruits of our many labours."

— Scene Magazine

"For anyone who has had the grievous task of summing up the core of their experience and extracting suitable parts of their personality to submit in a cover letter, author Joey Comeau’s novel, Overqualified, is a breath of fresh air."

— Buzzine

"Ranging from pithy and heartwarming to darkly funny and bizarre, the letters sparkle with the inappropriate use of unabashed personal honesty in a traditionally dry and humourless form. . . . [Overqualified is] beautifully executed satire, perfect for anyone who needs a good laugh (like the unemployed)."

— Geist

Copyright © Joey Comeau, 2010

Published by ECW Press, 2120 Queen Street East, Suite 200,

Toronto, Ontario, Canada M4E 1E2 / 416.694.3348 / info@ecwpress.com

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form by any process — electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise — without the prior written permission of the copyright owners and ECW Press.

LIBRARY AND ARCHIVES CANADA CATALOGUING IN PUBLICATION

Comeau, Joey, 1980-

One bloody thing after another / Joey Comeau.

ISBN 978-1-55022-916-5

I. Title.

PS8605.O537O54 2010 C813’.6 C2009-905969-X

Editor for the press: Michael Holmes / a misFit book

Layout and design: Rachel Ironstone

Cover image: Emily Horne

The publication of One Bloody

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