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    A Great First Date
    A Great First Date
    A Great First Date
    Ebook122 pages1 hour

    A Great First Date

    By Logan Lo

    ()

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    About this ebook

    The most common advice given for a first date is to "just be yourself." But when are you not yourself? You can't just be yourself, you have to be your *best* self.

    That's what A GREAT FIRST DATE is about - how to present the best and truest version of yourself, right off the bat. And the dating advice given isn't from movies, television, or imagined scenarios of what a first date should be like, instead, it's from recent, field-tested, real world experience.

    Because, while it's easier than ever to meet people, it's just as hard as ever - if not harder - to connect with them. And that first date is the first opportunity to make that connection. Most times it's the last.

    A Great First Date is about improving your odds, dramatically, in making that connection happen, starting with just that: A great first date.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherLogan Lo
    Release dateFeb 14, 2014
    ISBN9781310779084
    A Great First Date
    Author

    Logan Lo

    Don't know why people always write about themselves in third person - "Logan is a native New Yorker and lives with his wife and a plant named Harold near Central Park." Yet they do.The truth is that I actually am a native New Yorker and I do live with my wife and a plant named Harold near Central Park. And professionally, I'm an intellectual property attorney and a commercial real estate appraiser.But there's this saying that we are what we constantly do. If that's the case, first and foremost, I'm a collector and teller of stories. For example, I'm a book reviewer at the New York Journal of Books and have had a fairly well-trafficked blog at loganlo.com for years.Still, while the technology of expression and consumption may change, in the end, it's still the basic need to tell and be told a good story.So, let me tell you some stories...

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      Book preview

      A Great First Date - Logan Lo

      A Great First Date

      The Guide to This Postmodern Love

      By Logan Lo

      Published by Logan Lo at Smashwords

      © Logan Lo, 2014.

      No part of this work may be reproduced without the author's express consent.

      http://www.loganlo.com

      A Great First Date: The Guide to This Postmodern Love is unique among books about finding "the One" - it doesn't tell you how to go about finding your soul mate, but rather about how to approach and participate in dating in a positive way …. The author also writes with humor and draws from his own first-hand experience, which gives a personal touch to the book. Recommended to readers who are serious about going on dates as a way to meet a future partner. - Sarah Frantz, Penn Book Review

      [A] brisk, informative read – City Book Review

      Quick Reference Page

      Frequently Asked Self-Sabotaging Questions (FASSQs)

      1. Dating's natural; don't you already know everything you need to know?

      2. Don't you think it's underhanded to prepare for something like dating?

      3. How have you not already figured out how to date by now? You're (insert age) years old!

      4. Why don't you just be yourself?

      5. Oh, so this is like The Game and all those other pickup artist books?

      6. Aren't you just playing games with people's feelings?

      7. You're taking all the naturalness and spontaneity out of relationships; don't you care that you're making it cold and scientific?

      The 10 Baseline Beliefs

      BB1 - You accept the world as it is, not the way you wish it to be.

      BB2 - You think that honesty is a powerful thing.

      BB3 - You know that another person's opinion of you is none of your business.

      BB4 - You understand that anxiety is the fear of the hypothetical.

      BB5 - You believe that your subconscious is probably a lot smarter than you.

      BB6 - You understand that communication is not what we say, but what the other person hears.

      BB7 - You want everyone that meets you to be better off having met you.

      BB8 - You want to get better at dating.

      BB9 - You know that very few things in life are really that big a deal.

      BB10 - You don't want to just be yourself; you want to be your best self.

      TABLE OF CONTENTS

      QUICK REFERENCE PAGE

      INTRODUCTION

      SECTION 1: PRELIMINARY INFORMATION

      Chapter 1: Navigating this book

      Chapter 2: The Seven Frequently Asked Self-Sabotaging Questions (FASSQs)

      Chapter 3: The Ten Baseline Beliefs

      SECTION 2: PRE-DATE CONSIDERATIONS

      Chapter 4: 5Ws and 1H

      Chapter 5: The Scientific Method and Deliberate Practice

      Chapter 6: The Fair Test Requirement

      Chapter 7: When should a first date happen?

      Chapter 8: Where not to go on a First Date and the whole point of a First Date

      Chapter 9: Circuit Theory or where to go on a first date

      Chapter 10: Time travel

      Chapter 11: How to dress

      SECTION 3: THE DATE ITSELF

      Chapter 12: Date Day

      Chapter 13: Getting to know the other person or Games

      Chapter 14: Four Exit Lines

      Chapter 15: The Four Scenarios

      Chapter 16: Improving your chances

      Chapter 17: Danger Signs

      Chapter 18: The Kiss and Sex

      Chapter 19: Well that wasn't supposed to happen

      SECTION 4: FOLLOW-UP

      Chapter 20: The Next Day

      Chapter 21: The Second Date and Beyond

      Chapter 22: The end and why you should be going on a lot of first dates

      About the Author

      References

      Introduction

      Who needs a book about first dates? You've probably been on a dozen first dates by now or maybe you've seen enough movies to think you know how to act on a first date.

      But recall the times you've winged things in life. Sometimes the results have been good, sometimes not. Nothing important should ever be left to pure chance.

      After all, you wouldn't wing an interview for a job you really wanted and you probably did some preparation for your college exams.

      When I was in law school, I studied six days a week for three years. That's the nature of the beast. Law school was meant to further my career and so I spent time on it. Because it was important.

      Well, meeting someone that you might spend the rest of your life with deserves at least some significant time and care, no? There's this saying that all of your life's problems can be put into three categories: health, wealth, and relationships. All you need is one to go badly and it doesn't matter how good the other two are.

      Most people spend a good amount of time on wealth – that is to say our careers, education, self-improvement, etc. You're probably working at least 40 hours a week.

      And ideally, you're spending at least one hour a day on your health by exercising and eating right. Even if you're not, you probably recognize that you should be.

      But what about relationships? It seems this is the one area that people expect will just work itself out. Hope, rather. And not just relationships with significant others, but with people in general. However, out of the three categories mentioned above, relationships are perhaps the most complicated because they, by their very nature, involve someone else.

      And how much time are you spending on relationships?

      There are those that think it's cold and clinical to treat relationships like a job, but it's quite the opposite. Relationships are at least as important as a job. As difficult as finding a good career can be, who you ultimately decide to spend your life with, raise a family with, share everything else with – health and wealth – deserves at least as much care as the other two, no?

      These are self-defeating beliefs that we're going to examine more closely in the Frequently Asked Self-Sabotaging Questions chapter.

      Again, if you're working eight hours a day on your career and at least an hour a day on your health, then you should spend at least a few hours a week on your relationships.

      About me

      You might be wondering about my qualifications. Well, I'm a guy who went on only 15 or so first dates throughout my teens and twenties. Then, after a breakup at 30 years old, I realized that I didn't really know the first thing about dating.

      So I went out on a quest to date. A lot. More than 15 dates, less than 500. Let's leave it at that.

      And because I'm such a nerd, I went back and reviewed everything I did right and everything I did wrong. And I fixed things along the way. Let's call this deliberate practice, a term we'll see again in Chapter 5.

      Interestingly I didn't just learn about dating, I learned a few things about myself as well. This is something we'll explore later in the book.

      Ready to go? Let's go.

      Section 1: Preliminary Information

      Chapter 1: Navigating this book

      This book is divided into four different sections:

      Preliminary Information

      Pre-Date Considerations

      The Date Itself

      The Day(s) After

      Obviously, not all four are going to be equally important and we'll be spending the bulk of our time in Section 2 so skip around as needed.

      What this book is not

      Before talking about what this book

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