Worthlessness
By Jan Pavel
()
About this ebook
This book was published in the Czech Republic in 2009. Following its success among domestic readers, it was translated into Portuguese. This marks the first edition of the English version.
Jan Pavel
Jan Pavel was born on October 26, 1973 in Prague. There he graduated from the Jaroslav Ježek Conservatory (text writing and screenplay). He worked as a newspaper reporter then as a screenwriter for commercial television. He is presently the editor of the prestigious Slovart Publishing House. He lives in Prague.The central theme for Pavel's prose is always the individual and what is closest to him, what forms him throughout his life: the relationship between man and woman. For the author this is without a doubt the most important aspect from which everything else develops. He observes human weakness, oftentimes with understanding, thus forcing the reader to ponder where the admissible border of „normality“ is without making any moralizations of his own. He uses dialogue as the connective thread of his texts (his studies of screenplay weren't for naught) – each character is like a sharpened blade that cuts into the living whenever the situation demands it. The urgency of his texts ties into the tradition of the great masters of Czech literature: from K. H. Mácha and his near obsession with the grandiose suffering hero to Josef Škvorecký or Milan Kundera and his occasionally „unbearable“ cynic anti-heroes.Selection from bibliography:Na pouti... (At a Fun Fair..., stories, Host, 1999)Jizvení (Scarring, short novel, Arieta, 2005)Až pes snese čokoládu (When the Dog Lays Chocolate, stories, essays, Artes Liberales, 2006)Tramvaj do stanice (Tram to the Station, short novel, Artes Liberales, 2007)I smrt se zahojí (Even Death will Heal, novel, Slovart Publishing House, 2007)More at www.janpavel.eu
Related to Worthlessness
Related ebooks
Bedtime Stories For Small Kids: 19 Fantastic and Short Stories Best For Bedtime Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5Different Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsDemon and Fairy Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsWished: The Prince's Collection Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsBeyond the Wild Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsFeeding Malachi: Eve and Malachi, #1 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsEmergence of Fire: Dragon Born, #2 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSuzie and the Forest of Elves Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsDistant Demon: Starling Nightcastle, #4 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Black Bag Heist and Other Stories and Songs Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsHana and the Golden Kenzan Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Teller of Secrets: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Who Wants a Blind Mate: A Rejected Mate YA Fated Mates Romance Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5How I was Murdered by a Fox Monster Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5A Psychic's Diary Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsEssie Sterling and the sixth sense: Essie Sterling, #1 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Fairy Book Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Blind Bunny Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsA Child from Nowhere Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsTwo Stories of My Faithful Friends In Ebook Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSuzie and the Forest of Elves Plus Lady of Illusions Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSister Dog Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsAveline: Aveline, #1 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsOnce Upon a Unicorn Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Lying Little Rascals Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsOld Hendrik's Tales Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsJuwakhi's Curse: CRAZY STORIES, #1 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Woodpecker's Assistant Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsRuined: Eternal Monarch Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsFar From the Surface Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings
Literary Fiction For You
The Covenant of Water (Oprah's Book Club) Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5A Confederacy of Dunces Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Pride and Prejudice: Bestsellers and famous Books Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Catch-22: 50th Anniversary Edition Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Leave the World Behind: A Read with Jenna Pick Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Prophet Song: A Novel (Booker Prize Winner) Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5A Man Called Ove: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The 7 1/2 Deaths of Evelyn Hardcastle Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Queen's Gambit Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5All the Ugly and Wonderful Things: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Flowers for Algernon Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Master & Margarita Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Tender Is the Flesh Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Silmarillion Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Handmaid's Tale Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Piranesi Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Life of Pi: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Cloud Cuckoo Land: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Only Woman in the Room: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5A Farewell to Arms Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5My Grandmother Asked Me to Tell You She's Sorry: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Salvage the Bones: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Little Birds: Erotica Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Demon Copperhead: A Pulitzer Prize Winner Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Sympathizer: A Novel (Pulitzer Prize for Fiction) Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Lost Flowers of Alice Hart Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Old Man and the Sea: The Hemingway Library Edition Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Poisonwood Bible: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Anna Karenina: Bestsellers and famous Books Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Ulysses: With linked Table of Contents Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5
Reviews for Worthlessness
0 ratings0 reviews
Book preview
Worthlessness - Jan Pavel
WORTHLESSNESS
by Jan Pavel
Copyright © Jan Pavel 2010
Smashwords Edition
CONTENT
Little girls
No fears
First attempt
Mothers
Worthless life
Seemingness
Stains
…and multiply!
LITTLE GIRLS
Ting, Adela, ting
, Jakub always says this when he leaves. Like that little old man in the fairy tale. Rings the little flowers like a bell, then disappears.
Jakub is my daddy, and Eva is his wife, my mama. I have a grandma too, but she's always complaining, just sometimes she hugs me and mama and says, I just love you two so much, my rotten little bitches...
But Jakub left us a few days ago.
Now Eva keeps saying, He's shown his real colors now, the bastard. So what, let him go.
But I think that Jakub is coming back again soon.
Grandma just sits on the couch and says, I warned you, they're all the same. I warned you...
Eva's too mad all the time now, and when I want something, she shouts at me not to be a nuisance. Says I should crawl up somewhere and leave her alone. I can't wait until Jakub comes for me.
He promised me he would. When he left last year, he said then too that he'd come for me, but he didn't. Instead he came back after a few days. But he said he came back only because of me. I was glad. Eva swore and threw things even more than today, I guess because it was the first time. Jakub took me for a walk and told me not to worry about it, that when the time comes he'd have to leave again, and that Eva will go on a rampage again. He also said that I should just ride it out, that it'd soon pass over and she'll calm down. I shouldn't listen to her at all.
One time Eva gave me a hard slap across the head because I wasn't wearing my slippers. Then she immediately pulled me close to her and said, He's a beast, not a father!
My stomach started to hurt; it always starts to hurt when something happens at home. I always wait to see what's gonna happen, and I'm so scared that I want to throw up.
It's nothing, it'll be fine,
Eva said.
Grandma was already crying. I knew that Eva would start crying soon too. I felt sorry for us and I cried too.
You just can't let it get to you,
said Eva, we're not gonna carry on some theatre here because of him. He's not worth it, the snake.
They're all like that,
said grandma again, wiped her eyes on her handkerchief and then blew her nose into it. And you shouldn't have blown it off back then...
What? And what was I supposed to do?!
Just something...
Oh you're so smart now!
Why are you shouting at me?! Who do you think you're talking to?!
Your whole life ruined...
Grandma sat on the bed in her nightshirt and shook her head. Her sunken eyes seemed horrible to me. Sometimes they scared me so much that all I though about all day was how to avoid seeing them somewhere. I avoided them, I tried to hide as much as I could so I wouldn't run into them.
Once, when Jakub came back home late and I could smell the beer and rum on him (I liked that smell, it seemed that I could smell the world outside), he told me that grandma was an evil person. I've been afraid of her ever since. I've also been watching her, and I can see that it's true. I think that Eva is afraid of her too, because whenever they argue, she has this terrified expression and her hands shake, and for a long time after grandma starts to weep and says that she's gonna jump in front of a train, Eva feels bad all over.
I remember a story that Jakub told me once when he came back late at night and stank to high heaven
, as grandma would say.
There used to be a kingdom far away, where a wise and good king ruled. This king had one single daughter who was named Adlinka. She hadn't had a mama for a long time; she died as soon as the princess was born. But even so, they lived happily until a two-headed dragon moved into a cave not far from the castle. The king didn't even have to make the announcement that whoever kills the dragon gets the princess and half the kingdom; the knights started coming to the castle by themselves without being invited. One after the other, they went into the forest to kill the dragon and gain the king's daughter. But the dragon was so terrible that he killed every one and ate them. There was nothing left for the king to do then to set off for the two-headed dragon himself. Adlinka didn't want to let him go at first, but when her father promised her that he'll surely come back, she let him go because she knew that he always kept his promise.
When the king came trotting up on his steed to the cave where the dragon lived, he saw a pile of human bones. But he wasn't