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    Glee-Mail: Over 300 Funny e-Mail Messages for All Occasions
    Glee-Mail: Over 300 Funny e-Mail Messages for All Occasions
    Glee-Mail: Over 300 Funny e-Mail Messages for All Occasions
    Ebook133 pages3 hours

    Glee-Mail: Over 300 Funny e-Mail Messages for All Occasions

    By John Carfi and Cliff Carle

    ()

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    About this ebook

    GLEE-MAIL contains over 300 funny e-mail messages for the price of ONE greeting card.
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherBookBaby
    Release dateFeb 14, 2014
    ISBN9780983461548
    Glee-Mail: Over 300 Funny e-Mail Messages for All Occasions

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      Book preview

      Glee-Mail - John Carfi

      fun.

      ANNIVERSARY

      General

      Jack, sweetheart:

      From now on, a five course meal will always be ready for you when you come home from work! Your shirts will always be washed and ironed just the way you like them! Our house will always be spotless and the bed perfectly made up! I promise you this – but only if you promise me one thing…

      To hire a maid.

      Love,

      Jill

      =========================

      Happy Anniversary, Dear!

      I was just thinking how lucky I am! Because if you and I weren't together…

      Imagine how silly I would look arguing with myself.

      =========================

      Kaitlyn, honey...

      Happy Birthday!

      Happy Mother's Day!

      Happy Anniversary!

      Happy Valentine's Day!

      Happy Thanksgiving!

      Happy Halloween!

      Merry Christmas!

      Happy New Year!

      Happy Groundhog Day!

      Your loving husband, Michael

      P.S. You know me and my memory, so pick the appropriate one.

      [THIS UNIVERSAL MESSAGE WILL WORK FOR ANY OCCASION]

      =========================

      Honey, I hope you don't take this wrong. I think the world of your brothers and sisters...

      But I definitely feel I got the pick of the litter.

      =========================

      The SECOND happiest moment of my life was the day of our marriage...

      The FIRST was the night of our honeymoon.

      =========================

      Zoey & Franny

      Happy Anniversary!

      I can't believe you two are still together after all these years. I looked up the record in the Guinness Book. Only one couple has been together longer…

      And they are Siamese twins.

      --Jerome

      =========================

      (50TH ANNIVERSARY)

      Who would believe that you two have been married for 50 years!

      Most people don't even live that long.

      =========================

      Dearest...

      Can you believe it? For the first time in years I didn't forget our anniversary!

      Now if you could just remind me who I'm addressing this to???

      =========================

      No privacy – no sex – dirty clothes strewn around the house – screaming kids – no sex – no money – no nights out – no sex – stupid, boring in-laws – weeklong fights – did I say no sex? …

      But you made it all worthwhile!

      Happy Anniversary!

      R-Rated

      Ella & Jack--

      I look at you two and see a couple who for years and years have weathered their marriage with grace, aplomb, and savoir-faire...

      Not bad for a couple of old farts!

      --Kerry

      =========================

      (OLDER MAN TO WIFE)

      Marg--

      I may have had some sexual problems in the past, but you have to admit…

      I always have a stiff upper lip!

      --Alfred

      =========================

      (TO SPOUSE ON 50TH)

      Happy 50th Anniversary!

      Darling, to celebrate, I'd like to dance all night long – then have wild, passionate sex into the late morning hours! So be prepared…

      You may have to jumpstart my pacemaker a few times.

      =========================

      Victoria--

      Here's to my dear, sweet, sexy wife, who has given me nothing but pleasure all these years…

      Not counting those five days out of each month.

      --Asher

      =========================

      Mason:

      I love you because: whether there's rain, snow, or dark of night…

      My MALE comes every day.

      Love,

      June

      Insult

      Connie--

      Honey, I can't believe it. Each year you just get better looking! I wonder, is it your new diet? Your new exercise program?? Your new hairstyle???

      Or is it just time for me to get new glasses????

      --Liam

      =========================

      Carson--

      Happy Anniversary, honey! I love you because you gave up smoking for me, and you gave up drinking for

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