26 Days in Key West: My Alphaboozical Adventure

Chapter 1 -Thinking of Drinking

S

itting in a senior English class in the middle of Ohio in the spring of 1966, my mind, desperate to escape from boredom, wandered into the future. I envisioned academic success in college. I envisioned a degree in chemical engineering. And then, with degree in hand, I envisioned a successful career spent in a white lab coat analyzing and testing chemical solutions. I imagined being part of a team that would engineer a new material or a new compound; we would save lives, improve the life of the planet and revolutionize the world. I would retire with numerous awards and lucrative offers from prestigious scientific study groups who would hire me to do consulting work. Oh well, as Robert Burns once wrote, The best laid schemes o’ mice an’ men / Gang aft agley.

Ironically, another plan, quite different in design, and one that never came close to entering my mind in 1966, did, in fact, reach fruition much later in my life. The thought that I would put pen to paper (who knew then that we would have the luxury of using our fingers to type words into something called a computer that would then allow us to send those words electronically to anyone anywhere in the world instantaneously) to recount the story of a meaningless month spent much later in my life was absurd. And the thought that I would write about a drinking binge in the Florida Keys was doubly absurd. For in 1966 I had never heard of the Florida Keys, and I pretty much loathed drinking and anything that was associated with an English class. However, as bizarre as it would have been to me then, a story about Key West and booze has sprung into being. And now, at last, I will have my chance at consulting, although not for a prestigious think tank. Rather, I offer my insight to those of you who read this, intrigued by the title or looking for some light reading to take with you on your trip to paradise.

26 Days in Key West - My Alphaboozical Adventure is the account of a retired geezer and his beautiful wife vacationing in the southernmost part of the continental United States in early 2011. The story began to materialize 44 years after I graduated with such high hopes. On January 10th of 2010, I was reading a newspaper article about New Year’s resolutions. The main point of the article was that if you were reading the article on January 10th, you had most likely broken any resolutions you had set for yourself. I concurred with the premise as I had already skipped three days of exercise and had downed close to a half gallon of ice cream.

I’m not sure why (maybe it was a lack of oxygen caused by too little exercise or perhaps some kind of sugar overload caused by too much ice cream), but for some unknown reason, an unusual New Year’s resolution popped into my head as I read the newspaper. I vowed that I would drink my way through the alphabet.

I’m not a big drinker. I like a glass of wine with dinner occasionally, and I drink maybe four or five beers a month, but I seldom drink liquor. Inexplicably, I decided that would be my resolution, my challenge. I would begin with an A drink and finish with a Z drink. That seemed like a resolution that would be easy to keep and one that might provide some enjoyment along the way.

And yes, this plan did not go astray; I began with an Alabama Slammer on January 14th and concluded with a Zipperhead on May 16th. I had great fun with the resolution and enjoyed the taste of many new drinks. The best part of the quest was explaining the scenario to servers and bartenders; many of them came to my aid and recommended their favorites. Some took the time to go online to look up new drinks that would make the evening memorable. One young man in Myrtle Beach was so excited about my quest that he brought out his Mr. Boston book of drinks and let me leaf through it while he consulted with his fellow servers and planned a restaurant wide competition of their own. I recorded the complete list of drinks and the names of the restaurants or bars where they were consumed. On several occasions I thought about writing a story that would capture the alcoholic adventure. I still have enough details in my head that I could share with you what it’s like to drink an Electric Lemonade, or I could let you in on Victoria’s Secret. Downing that tasty pink concoction created in me a sudden urge to try on women’s lingerie. But that’s another story. I was especially tempted to get busy with a story on two occasions after I had revisited restaurants where I had drunk a letter. The waitresses were curious as to how my quest was going and wanted to know what I considered the best of the drinks. I was quite surprised that the resolution had resonated to such an extent.

Celebrating the Christmas holidays in 2010, Nancy and I dined with friends at a restaurant where I had previously downed a drink. I recognized our waitress as the young lady who had served me my R drink several months before. As she worked her way around the table taking drink orders, our eyes met. I noticed she had that I know you from somewhere look on her face.

She approached me and asked without hesitation, And will you be having a Rosy Cheeks? My recollection is that my mouth dropped open before I could respond, I can’t believe you remember that…yes. Her follow up comment was even more surprising and caught the attention of everyone at the table. She quipped, I also recall you had Sex on the Beach that night, at my suggestion. After a slight pause that must have set the minds of our friends spinning, I replied, Oh…my. That’s right… I had both my R and S drinks here that night. I had forgotten. What an incredible memory you have. I noticed Nancy was having a hard time stifling her laughter.

With a month long trip to Key West already planned for early 2011, my New Year’s resolution sequel was a natural forthcoming. Nancy and I would be taking up residence in Key West for 28 days. We had booked the trip almost a year in advance and were quite excited about it. Some quick math told me that by eliminating our check in and check out days, we would be spending 26 days in Key West. The 26 letter alphabet dovetailed perfectly and set in motion the alphabetical adventure for a second year. Prompted by some of my friends to take notes and to keep a journal and greatly influenced by the servers’ and bartenders’ reactions from my previous journey, I envisioned the perfect storm brewing on the horizon. I would chronicle the events of our trip, woven around the drink a day motif, and I would call it 26 Days In Key West, My Alphaboozical Adventure.

Unlike my spur of the moment resolution of 2010, I would be well prepared to document the quest from A to Z in 2011. My plan was to record information about the restaurant or bar, the server or bartender, the ingredients of the drink and other information that seemed pertinent to the occasion. Drink selections would come from www.bardrinks.com or from the mind of the server. I would also pack a camera for shots that would become part of the story. I would write in first person and try to make the story read like a diary or journal. My journey would begin and end in Key West. I would supplement the alphabetical storyline with interesting facts about Key West - its people, its history and its attractions. Upon completion, I hoped to have a reference source that would give people an interesting glimpse of the southernmost spot of the continental USA. Perhaps it would serve as a catalyst for someone to drink his way through another city or cause someone to write an article about a New Year’s resolution that is easy and fun to keep.

After a leisurely trip down the east coast, we awoke early on the morning of January 29th, 2011, excited about the last leg. We set our Sirius XM Radio to Margaritaville and set sail for Key West. The trip from the lower Miami area takes about three hours; it offers a gradually developing picture of paradise, much like the old Polaroid shots that came slowly into focus. The water seems to turn bluer and the air seems to smell sweeter with each new key. Renting a convertible in Miami and traveling down the Overseas Highway would be a cool experience.

Passing through Key Largo, we noted the John Pennekamp State Park and reflected on the smallness of our world. Nancy taught school with Pennekamp’s granddaughter. We passed through the middle keys and Marathon, largest of the chain of islands. Crossing over the Seven Mile Bridge dumped us onto the lower keys and generated a heightened sense of anticipation. An hour later, we crossed over the last bridge from Stock Island and found ourselves in paradise.

Chapter 2 - Buying the Booze

Nancy and I arrived in Key West and followed our route guidance without incident to the guardhouse of the Truman Annex. We chose the Truman Annex as our headquarters at the suggestion of Nancy’s son Rob and his wife Heather who were married in Key West on a sailboat in 2001. They are frequent visitors and knew we would find the location ideal. Additionally, we had been invited to spend an evening in a shipyard condo the previous year and had found the setting quite pleasant.

The annex is located two blocks from Duvall Street and only a short walk from Mallory Square. It’s comprised of single family homes, townhouses and condos of all sizes and shapes. Landscaping and maintenance of the grounds are top priorities and make the tree lined streets beautiful and peaceful. The gated community sits a stone’s throw away from the Straits of Florida and offers a piece of paradise that quickly infects the visitor with Key West Fever. The focal point of the community is Truman’s Little White House located at 111 Front Street.

Constructed in 1890 to house naval officers, The Little White House served as a command headquarters during the Spanish American War. In 1946 President Truman used the facility as a winter White House. Five other Presidents discovered that its location and climate provided the serenity and respite needed to perform the duties of the office. Tours of the building and grounds are offered daily; numerous special events, speeches, symposiums and celebrations are scheduled throughout the year.

Ozzie greeted us at the gate where we quickly secured our parking pass for the month. Our next stop was a visit with Harriett at the Compass Realty Rental Office where we picked up keys and instructions for our stay. We were very pleased with the efficiency of both Ozzie and Harriett; these people have their act together.

Unpacking went well and we were settled in at 620 Thomas Street by four in the afternoon. Our February condo was a colorful (all those blues, oranges, pinks, greens and yellows of the Caribbean) two bedroom, two bath second floor unit within short walking distance of the busy end of Duvall. Decorated in a sea décor, with lots of wicker and all those beachy splashes throughout, the unit was warm and inviting and roomy enough for our stay. I loved the double entendre of its name, Poolside Hangover. The deck off the back overlooked the pool, and I was planning to do some serious drinking.

We had the pleasure of meeting our downstairs neighbors Lucy and Ricky. They are typical snowbirds who spend their winter months in Key West and their summers on Cape Cod. I chuckled at their bumper sticker – Chatham, A Quaint Drinking Village With A Fishing Problem. We chatted a bit with them and then surveyed our accommodations. We then checked maps and online web sites to familiarize ourselves with the layout of Key West. We had spent a total of ten days in Key West on two previous visits but never quite got the complete feel of the city’s street design. That would begin in earnest in the morning. We drove to Winn-Dixie for food supplies and a few beverages. My most important selection was a six pack of Key West Southernmost Wheat, a Belgian-style wheat beer brewed with spices and key lime. I assumed it would aid in our assimilation process.

Chapter 3 - Mixing the Magic

Abracadabra

A tonic and lime can cool a hot day,

but the magic starts when the sun sinks low.

Red sails fill the sky and orange melts with blue.

Make sure you are there, it’s an awesome show.

Our first day in Key West began with breakfast at the Hangover and a discussion about how to begin our vacation. Nancy had done some research on churches in the area, and since our first full day in Key West fell on a Sunday, we decided to take in a service at Trinity Presbyterian. Trinity is located on Simonton Street about four blocks from the Truman Annex so we slipped on walking shoes, semi-formal garb (collared shirt instead of a tee for me and a blouse rather than a tee for Nancy) and headed off to Trinity.

Trinity proved to be a unique experience. We were handed a bulletin at the entrance of the church and made our way to a pew in the middle of the sanctuary with a congregation of about 70 people. Linda, one of the greeters, came by to say hello. The 11:00 am service was a little late in getting started; it began with a procession of the clergy and choir singing and dancing their