Queen Victoria’s Lovers

QUEEN VICTORIA’S LOVERS:

EROTOMANIA & FANTASY

Fred Vermorel

Copyright © Fred Vermorel 2014

Smashwords Edition

The right of Fred Vermorel to be identified as the Author of this work has been asserted in accordance with the Copyrights, Designs and Patents Act 1988.

All rights reserved. No part of this document may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or by any other means, now known or hereafter invented, without prior written permission of Palace Publications.

British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data.

A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library

ISBN 978-0-9928320-1-8

First published 2014

Palace Publications

27 Old Gloucester Street

London

WC1N 3AX

queenvictoriaslovers.com

Typesetting and origination by polgarusstudio.com

Subject headings:

British History

Queen Victoria

Princess Diana

Erotomania

Fan culture

Erotica

Pornography

The young Queen Victoria was a potent sex symbol, attracting outlandish fantasists. She also attracted stalkers and other unwanted attention seekers. One gentleman broke in on Her Majesty while she was on the loo, alarming her with his rude and eager gaze. The indefatigable Boy Jones broke into Buckingham Palace three times, and even crept through the Palace wearing Victoria’s underwear. Three teenage boys staged frightening mock assassination attempts to grab the Queen’s attention. Meanwhile, Captain Jonathan Childe of the Royal Horse Guards bombarded the monarch with erotic musings and outrageously pornographic love letters – published here for the first time. These letters greatly annoyed Prince Albert and led to frantic meetings at the highest levels of the British state.

The Victorian Press sardonically dubbed all these people Victoria’s lovers. Victorian psychiatrists labelled them, erotomaniacs. Scotland Yard compiled a secret dossier on them. Drawing on this dossier and on many original and untapped sources, Fred Vermorel brings these characters to life. The fashionable and seductive portrait painter, Sarah Newell, proto feminist, all-round agitator… and lost soul. The unfortunate Doctor Peithman, banged up in Bedlam because he knew a secret about Prince Albert’s pre-marital sex life – a secret revealed in this book…

The book also compares Victoria’s Lovers to the modern cult of Diana-mania, telling the strange story of Barbara, the royal fan who sincerely believed she was Princess Diana.

Visual material and additional documents can be found at queenvictoriaslovers.com.

Fred Vermorel has written many best-selling non-fiction books. He is best known for his controversial anti-biographies of pop icons ranging from the Sex Pistols to Vivienne Westwood to Kate Moss. He has equally pioneered the in-depth study of celebrity and fan cultures. Awarded a PhD for his work in 2011, Fred lectures widely on cultural history and research technique. He lives in London and Paris.

Beloved I wake often in the night but never I declare to you but to think of you till I sleep again.

I kiss your eyes your mouth and your lovely cunt that loves me.

– Letter from Captain Jonathan Childe to Queen Victoria, 1853

Contents

I. Insane Persons and Vagrants

II. Her Majesty’s Underwear

III. The Machinations of Young England

IV. I have nothing to say

V. That crooked piece of malignity

VI. Publicity is the soul of justice

VII. Robert Pate and his Silver Knob

VIII. The Persecution of Dr Peithman

IX. Your beautiful hairy cunt

X. Princess Diana’s Double

Sources

Acknowledgements

I. Insane Persons and Vagrants

In 1841, eleven months after the marriage of Victoria and Albert, Countess Resterlitz arrived in England from Prussia.

She was about 5 feet 3 inches high, slender figure, and of prepossessing countenance. [Her] manners were very mild and ladylike.

She went to Buckingham Palace. She said she had business with Prince Albert.

The Countess claimed she was Albert’s former wife, and that he owed her a considerable sum of money. She would settle for Hampton Court, which in any case, she said, belonged to her uncle.

Denied admission, she lunged at a guard with a dagger. It broke in the struggle.

***

William Saunders was a thirty-year-old Post Office clerk. In 1840, he tried to bluff his way into Victoria’s presence at Windsor Castle. He claimed to have important personal letters for her but refused to hand these over to a porter. Royal officials became suspicious. There was a fracas. In the scuffle the table and chairs … were upset, and, at one time, the whole party were sprawling on the floor.

Saunders was taken to a police station, where he said he was hungry. A meal was sent for from the Castle Inn. In his cell, Saunders enjoyed mock-turtle and beef steaks, accompanied by half a pint of port wine.

The honour of an interview with Royalty – with his young and lovely sovereign – is believed to have been the motive to his extraordinary conduct.

***

Thomas Flower was a silversmith. In June 1838 he was arrested at the Italian opera house in London. He’d been trying to get into Victoria’s private box.

In court the next day, the magistrate asked Flower his profession or business.

Flower replied, Profession or business has nothing to do with the question. I am merely a candidate for the hand of Her Majesty. He was bailed to keep the peace. A few weeks later, Flower was found inside Buckingham Palace. He was asleep in a chair in the picture gallery, about seven yards from Victoria’s bedroom. Feeling tired, he’d dozed off. It was said that Flower was generally a respectable person, but when under the influence of liquor, he becomes a most dangerous lunatic.

***

Captain John Goode, of the 10th Foot, was, indefatigable in his assiduities.

Goode came from a prominent Devonshire family and was in possession of large estates. But Goode was convinced he was the rightful heir to the throne. He signed his name, John Rex.

To press his claim, Goode camped in (the then Princess) Victoria’s grounds. He spied through her windows in Kensington Palace. He got inside her apartment. He waited outside Kensington Palace in his carriage and followed her all round town, and down to Hastings and Ramsgate on the coast. He intercepted Victoria in Hyde Park and in the Harrow Road. He followed her coach in 1837, when she moved as the newly crowned Queen to Buckingham Palace.

Goode was arrested several times for disturbing the peace. Then, one afternoon, he approached the royal carriage in Birdcage Walk. He began shaking his fist in quite a menacing manner through the window at Her Majesty … [and bystanders then] heard him exclaim, ‘You C*** [cunt], you usurper, I’ll have you off the throne before this day week!’ and other seditious expressions, with which we cannot pollute our pages.

After this, Captain Goode ran off. He was tracked down by a policeman surnamed Sherlock (PC68a).

In jail, Goode’s behaviour was observed:

On any allusion being made to the subject of royalty the prisoner becomes extremely boisterous, and has repeatedly declared that he would sooner die in prison, as he was the lawful sovereign, then submit to ——— [buggery?] (the conclusion of his threat is unfit for publication)…

When taken for questioning, The prisoner was dressed in a brown coat and trousers, a light waistcoat, and crimson neckerchief, and wore on his left breast a military decoration … [a star of the Order of the Garter] He stood with his arms akimbo, and appeared to be highly delighted with the situation in which he was placed.

Goode declared that he was a son of George IV and Queen Caroline; that he had been born at Montague House, Blackheath, and that he had, when a boy, been sent out of the country through a drunken freak of the Monarch, and a mad determination of his ministers, which they would repent.’"

He then roared that he would tear the Queen to pieces and empty all the royal tombs and scatter the bones.

Tried later, in a secret court to forestall the immense crowds of would-be spectators, Goode entered the court with a firm step, and appeared to entertain an utter contempt for all around him. He insisted on keeping his hat on. He then made another speech. The jury declared Insanity.

As he was taken away, Goode exploded. In a most stentorian voice, he declared that he would exterminate every branch of the Royal Family, and put to death every subject who denied his lawful sovereignty. All rebellious subjects he would hang at the Tower, their bowels should be taken out and thrown into the sea… ‘I will show the nation the dreadful consequence of rebelling against their lawful sovereign … [and] it is not this nation only which shall feel my vengeance – I will annihilate the Russian government – I will destroy every ship in her navy – I will wage war against the whole population – I will exterminate her savages.’

Later, while being transported to an asylum, Goode smashed the coach windows and summoned passers-by, "Guards of England, do your duty