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    Never Let You Go
    Never Let You Go
    Never Let You Go
    Ebook238 pages3 hours

    Never Let You Go

    By Emma Carlson Berne

    2.5/5

    ()

    Read preview

    About this ebook

    A love triangle goes horribly wrong in this dark, romantic suspense-thriller from the author of Still Waters.

    Megan never meant to hurt her best friend, Anna. She made a mistake, and she’s spent all year trying to regain Anna’s trust. So when Anna invites her to spend the summer on her uncle’s farm, Megan is excited…and relieved. The past is finally behind them.
    On the farm, Anna quickly falls for Jordan, a rugged summer-hand. Megan and Jordan have their own spark, but Megan’s betrayed Anna once before and she’s not about to do it again.
    Still, the more time that Megan and Jordan spend together, the harder it is to deny their chemistry. But Anna doesn’t like to be ignored—and she doesn’t forgive and forget. What started out as the perfect summer is about to take a very dark turn....
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherSimon & Schuster Books for Young Readers
    Release dateDec 4, 2012
    ISBN9781442440180
    Never Let You Go
    Author

    Emma Carlson Berne

    Emma Carlson Berne has written and edited more than two dozen books for young people. She holds a master's degree in composition and rhetoric from Miami University. Emma lives in Cincinnati, Ohio, with her husband and two sons. Visit her online at http://emmacarlsonberne.com/.

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    Reviews for Never Let You Go

    2.5/5

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    • 3/5
      You can read this review and more like it at Pretty Deadly Reviews.

      I read Still Waters by Emma Carlson Berne last year and wasn't wholly impressed. I thought it was lacking in many places, especially in characterization. On the whole it was entirely forgettable. I wasn't expecting much from Never Let You Go but it's hard to stay away from something described as 'a love triangle gone horribly wrong'. You all know how I feel about love triangles - and what's more is this one involves one boy and two girls. So of course, I snatched it up, and I was actually pleasantly surprised.

      This time around (which looks like her sophomore YA effort) Berne was able to create rich characters in just over 200 pages, who are distinct and vivid. The protagonist, Megan, moves onto a farm for the summer and joins a large cast of characters. But I never felt that I couldn't distinguish who was who - each character had a separate voice and distinct story and I felt like I really knew all of them. Megan and Anna have the classic 'frienemies' relationship. Anna saved Megan from social exile, and I honestly don't see what they liked about each other. Now they are are older, and Megan has betrayed Anna by kissing her boyfriend, I really don't see why they even tried to be friends. The romance I thought was great - no insta-love. It was cute and adorable and organic. I really liked Jordan. He had a great head on his shoulders, and goals and a history outside of Megan, which I thought was a breath of fresh air.

      Berne masterfully wove suspense into what, on the surface, could seem like a cute story about navigating romance and friendships. But you could always tell something wasn't quite right. Anna was throwing herself at Jordan to the point where I was embarrassed for her. It was really uncomfortable to watch Anna take the smallest snippet of conversation with Jordan and twist it and stretch it into something completely different. Her way of bending reality was truly scary.

      Throughout the story we're given glimpses into Anna and Megan's past together, and it's easy to see how each girl turned out the way they were, and how they made the decisions they made. Megan was always the out cast, the loner, and Anna always made jabs at her. Boys always flocked to Anna first, so when Anna's boyfriend was giving Megan attention I can see how she could make that terrible decision. And we could see where Anna's head was just never in the right place.

      When Anna finally snapped, it was wild and terrifying. I don't feel like I'm spoiling anything here, because that's basically what the story was about. While I waited for the climax, anticipation kept mounting. You know what's coming, but you don't know when and you're powerless to stop it. And the ending? Totally creepy.

      The reason why I only rated it three stars is for how forgettable is it. While I thought the story was masterfully woven, and the characters were great, I really don't think I'll reflect back on it like I do other books. I might reread it one day, since I own it, but I won't look back on the lessons it's taught me, or the way it provoked me. It's just a simple thriller, albeit with a great cast of characters.

      I do recommend it, if your library has it. It's a fun, quick read, with quite a dark side. The characters are grabbing, and there are a couple you'll be rooting for, no doubt. And with anticipation high, Never Let You Go practically forces you to keep turning the pages.
    • 2/5
      Megan and Anna have been best friends since first grade. Megan, was that kid who wore the wrong clothes, did weird stuff, but that all changed when she was saved by the popular and beautiful Anna from social suicide. From that day on, Megan feels like she owes Anna everything and Anna won't let her forget what she did.

      Then, during one drunken night at a party, Megan did the unthinkable. She makes out with Mike, Anna's boyfriend. She becomes an outcast once again. No one will speak with her. No one will sit with her at lunch. But just like first grade, she's saved by Anna, who comes in and sits with her at lunch. Everything seems to be back to normal.

      But will fate repeat itself when Anna invites Megan to work at her uncle's farm for the summer? There's a new boy that Anna likes and wants, but that doesn't stop Megan from finding him attractive or finding herself alone with him.

      Anna hasn't forgotten what happened with Mike and she isn't about to let Megan steal another boyfriend. Because if she does, it will not only ruin the friendship, but it might cost someone their life.

      Dun Dun Dunnnnnnnnnn!

      Sounds like an amazing book. You have frenemies who seem to walk on eggshells when they’re together, a betrayal due to an affair, a love triangle involving two girls and a guy, a summer out in the country, organic farming, and add in a dash of thriller and crazy and you have the makings for a beautiful book.

      Unfortunately, and I feel bad for this, but the book doesn't really deliver in its promise.

      Plot:

      The plot has a lot of potential, but due to the size of the book, you never really get a good sense of any of the characters. Also, it's not fast paced, which is what you'd expect from a thriller. It wasn't until the end when things started to get interesting. The build up towards the climax had a mixture of really good moments, but slow as well. We see Anna forcing her relationship with Jordan on Megan. This causes Megan to feel uncomfortable, because she doesn’t see what Anna sees, but still wants to be super supportive. That’s what bbfs do. They support their friend’s delusions about guys they like. And by golly, Megan is trying to do this hardcore. Only there’s a problem. She’s starting to develop feelings for Jordan and is noticing that he feels the same way.

      Anna notices too and she won’t let Megan stand in her way, even if they’re bbf4lyfe. Odd, I’ve never typed that word before and yet Word/Firefox never gave me a red squiggly line for it. My name will always get a red line, but bbf4lyfe. Nothing.

      The plot isn’t really a bad point in this novel, yes it’s too short so we don’t have the story fully developed to its potential, nor do we get any memorable characters. But it is interesting and will keep you reading.

      Characters:

      This, sadly, is where the book fails. Before I talk about the main characters, I’ll talk about the supporting staff since there are a lot of them in this book.

      …

      There’s a lot and they’re forgettable. There were times I was mixing characters together, because even though they may show up quite a bit, they’re never really there.

      The story isn’t about them, so this is forgivable though. The story is about Anna and Megan.

      Anna is a really good character and I liked how we never really knew what she would do. We learn early on that Anna is cray cray, but we never know why. We get flashbacks of her doing shady things, but it's mostly to show us how off her rocker she really is. She's prone to doing stupid and dangerous things, but she's still a kid. If she was always like this, then there had to be a trigger of some sort.

      Sadly, we’re never shown this. Instead, we’re mostly shown Megan’s internal struggle to do good to her friend while stopping her feelings for Jordan. This isn’t bad, but Megan is an emotionally weak character. She’s quick to please Anna, never stands up for herself, and basically allows Anna to treat her like crap. Why? Because Anna saved her when she was young and forgave her for kissing Mike.

      To be honest, you never really find out why the two girls are friends. Megan wants to please Anna, but she doesn’t seem to like her all that much. And Anna, why does she want to be friends with Megan? Maybe she’s facing problems at home and decides to find a weak willed person she can boss around to make herself feel better? I dunno, this wasn’t ever explained.

      Anna’s purpose is clear. She’s there to be crazy. Megan was there to show us how she’s actually a good person who tries to reel in Anna’s crazy, without being the cause of said craziness. I guess she was the glue to hold Anna together and we do somewhat get a sense of this when Anna mentions that Megan was the only person she could trust. But after the betrayal, Anna hasn’t been the same and I just wish we knew more about this.

      She’s a far more intriguing character than Megan, who is incredibly useless. Even though I was meant to feel sorry for Megan, I was secretly hoping that Megan would end up being the crazy one who framed Anna for everything. I mean, how twisted would it be if Megan was the one who killed Sweetie and blamed it on Anna, just so she could get closer to Jordan and make herself look like a victim. That would have been crazy on top of crazy.

      Overall:

      The book is short and you can easily finish this in a few hours. It does have a fairly interesting plot with some good characters and the ending did leave the door open to a sequel. But the story was about Megan and how Anna isn’t the friend who she really wants in life.

      It’s fairly predictable, since the synopsis really does tell you everything, but the ending is good, Anna is great, and if there is another book I do kind of want to read it.

      So why the two stars? I was originally going to give it three, but once I finished the book I pretty much forgot about it. It doesn’t leave a lasting feeling. You read it, you’re done, and that’s it.

      Lots of potential with this novel, but the lack of content really made the entire story fall flat.

    Book preview

    Never Let You Go - Emma Carlson Berne

    PROLOGUE

    The party had been going on for hours. Megan knew she shouldn’t have anything more to drink. Already, the edges of the dark basement room had grown fuzzy, the knots of sophomores and juniors lining the walls and lounging on the floor retreating into a vodka-induced haze. Music pounded from two huge speakers, and shadowy couples ground together like contortionists, clogging the space in front of the drinks table. Megan looked down at the big plastic cup in her hand and swirled the orange liquid before tilting a little more down her throat. Vodka and orange soda. You’d think it would be nasty, but it wasn’t too bad.

    She stifled a burp against the back of her hand, slowly sliding down the wall until she was sitting on the cream carpet. She could feel the bass vibrating through the floor. She edged herself over a few inches to avoid a large puddle of salsa seeping into the expensive wool and carefully propped her cup against the wall. At least she wasn’t standing by herself anymore. Megan glanced at the clump of juniors sitting to her right—Kelsey, Logan, Maya, all with heavy, silky long hair, the kind that always fell into place. Megan resisted the urge to smooth her own thin, wavery strands and the cowlick that always rose up into a stubborn curl in the front. She aimed a tentative smile at Logan, who stared back blankly, as if she didn’t recognize Megan.

    Whatever. They were all Anna’s friends anyway.

    Megan picked at the carpet, willing the hotness in her face to fade. Anna was in Europe with her mother. Promise me you’ll go to Mike’s party, she’d insisted before she left. He’s so sad I’m abandoning him for Europe. She and Megan had been sitting on the wall outside Anna’s house, eating Funyuns. Anna delicately poked her hand into the bright yellow bag. Even eating greasy onion rings, she’d still managed to look like an Irish princess. Promise! He wants everyone to come—even you.

    Even you. Megan tried to wrap her mind around the words, but the moment had passed. Just like always. Okay, she’d said. I will. Of course she would. She always did what Anna asked. Which was why she was here, at Anna’s boyfriend’s party, alone. Megan gulped the rest of her drink down in one swallow and paused, coughing a little, as the girls sitting beside her seemed to grow larger, then smaller.

    Kelsey looked over. Nice, Megan, she said, grinning and patting Megan on the back.

    Yeah, go crazy! Maya jumped up, pumping her hips back and forth as she chanted, Go, Megan, go, Megan, go Megan. . . .

    In a far corner of her mind, the sober corner, Megan knew they were making fun of her, but it didn’t seem so shameful right then. Just friendly and funny. She giggled and climbed to her feet as the rest of the girls started dancing in a circle, swaying and waving their arms in the air. The heavy, insistent beat of the music pounded in Megan’s bones. The space grew more crowded. People pressed in from all sides and Megan gulped for air like a goldfish. Sweat trickled down the side of her neck and into her bra. Surreptitiously, Megan swiped at the front of her shirt just as Mike’s bulky figure loomed in the semidarkness like a panther.

    Hey! Logan greeted Mike with a squeal. The girls widened their circle, making a space for him, but instead Mike slipped behind Kelsey, putting his arms around her waist. They danced like that for a second before Kelsey broke away, laughing. Logan grabbed her by the hands, whispering something in her ear.

    The other girls drifted into the mass of people. Not that it mattered. The music was hypnotic now, not jarring. Megan closed her eyes, extending her hands out as she danced, imagining herself as some high-cheekboned hippie chick twirling in front of a stage at Woodstock. In another level of her mind, she congratulated herself for not dancing around like an out-of-sync gerbil.

    Someone touched her waist. Megan turned as a thick pair of arms slid around her middle. She looked up into Mike’s face, floating above her, grinning and sweaty. Having fun? he shouted over the music. His hands rubbed the small of her back. Megan tried to keep a few inches between them.

    Yeah! she shouted back. They were practically screaming. Do you miss Anna?

    What? He cupped his ear.

    Megan shook her head. It was probably a stupid question to ask at a party anyway. Mike pulled her closer as they danced. His belt buckle dug into the waist of her jeans.

    Hang on. Megan darted a glance left and right. No one was paying attention to them. Don’t be so uptight.

    Hey, you look really pretty, Mike shouted.

    Megan glanced down at her white tank top. It had taken her an hour to decide what to wear. Thanks! She bit the inside of her cheek to keep from smiling idiotically.

    Mike nodded along with the music and ran his hands up and down her back. Is he coming on to me? Mike? Anna’s boyfriend. What is he doing? His hips ground against hers. Definitely coming on to me. He was holding her really close now. She could see the blond stubble on his chin. She’d never danced like this with a guy, not with a big, sexy guy like Mike. It was beyond nice. Actually, it was so beyond nice that Megan could barely keep a coherent thought in her head.

    Megan could feel people looking at them now. They were watching her grind with her best friend’s boyfriend. Megan knew that with certainty. This was wrong in every sense and she couldn’t care less, much less stop herself, because Mike’s breath was on her face, and every fiber of her body, which had completely divorced itself from her mind, was reaching up toward him as he leaned down.

    Then it was happening. It really was. Mike was kissing her. His tongue was in her mouth. Her legs were shaking. She felt like hot oil was running over every inch of her skin.

    You are kissing Mike! her mind screamed, but her stubborn, rebellious body refused to listen. It just kissed him back with her arms locked around his neck.

    Then his grip changed. Mike’s hands weren’t around her waist anymore, they were around her neck, wrapped around her throat. His thumbs pressed insistently on her windpipe even as he kept kissing her. Megan wrenched her head back and her eyelids flew open like a startled sparrow’s as she choked, but he would not let go. Why is the room so dark? Her lungs were tight, screaming for air as he squeezed harder. Why is his face so blurry? It didn’t even look like Mike—his features looked smaller, softer. It wasn’t Mike at all, it was Anna. And Anna’s hands were around her neck, squeezing harder and harder as Megan gasped for air, Anna’s berry-painted lips stretching in a wide grin because she’d found out, she knew what Megan had done. . . .

    CHAPTER 1

    The bus bumped over a pothole and Megan woke with a start, jerking her head from the hot pane of glass where it had been resting. She eased the twisted strap of her canvas bag from across her body. It took her a minute to get it off, then she laid her head back against the blue plastic seat. Her heart was hammering like a scared rabbit’s. What a dream. She sat still, trying to recover, staring at the metal ceiling of the bus, where a red and white square was marked IN EMERGENCY, PULL HANDLE, THEN PUSH DOOR OUTWARD. Megan briefly pictured herself standing on the seat, pushing the hatch open. It would be cooler with the wind whipping past.

    Mike. God, why was she thinking about that debacle? It was over, finished, done with last summer. Megan reached into her khaki messenger bag and pulled out a stainless-steel water bottle. She took a long drink, grimacing at the warm, flat taste. Don’t play dumb, she told herself. She knew why she was thinking about that night—it was exactly one year ago today. One year ago that she made the biggest mistake of her life. And almost lost her best friend forever. Almost.

    To distract herself, Megan focused on the back of the bus driver—straight coffee-colored neck, neat blue polyester collar. The other bus riders seemed practically comatose, beaten into submission by the stench of the clogged lavatory at the back. To Megan’s right, a young blond woman cradled a sleeping toddler, the child’s head flung back. A girl about Megan’s own age sat in front of them, slumped down. Behind Megan, someone was snoring rhythmically, with a sound like a small chainsaw.

    The sun beat through the windows, filling the coach with the smell of hot gym shoes, despite the best efforts of the asthmatic air conditioner, which whistled through the vents over their heads. It had been four hours of corn and soybeans under the whitish sky, broken by the occasional truck-stop exit full of belching semis and minivans stuffed with sticky children. But at least Anna was waiting for her at the other end.

    Megan dug out her phone and thumbed through Anna’s last e-mail, sent yesterday.

    Pick you up in front of the restaurant on the main street. I think it’s called the Leaf. The farm looks gorgeous—I can’t believe it’s been three years since I was last up here. You are going to love it. I’m so excited we get to work together!!!

    Megan stared out the window. The landscape was starting to get more hilly now, with patches of lush woods flashing past. When Anna asked Megan to work with her at her uncle Thomas’s farm this summer, Megan had been so excited. Anna used to go down there every summer, back before her dad left. Then, a few months ago, her uncle called and said that her aunt had started using a wheelchair because of her MS and he needed some extra help. Anna had arrived last week to get started.

    Megan gazed apprehensively out the window at a giant green tractor trawling slowly up and down a sea of waving corn leaves. No—it wasn’t going to be like that. She scrolled through the e-mail again. —ten pigs, chickens, a big garden, and horses! Anna had written. That didn’t sound too bad. More like the Richard Scarry books she used to read when she was little. She scanned the rest of the e-mail.

    And we get a separate place to sleep too, just for the two of us. Oh, yeah. There’s a surprise too. I won’t say too much now, but it’s definitely going to make this summer way more fun.

    The bus swayed as the driver guided it around a hairpin turn. They were going into some sort of valley now, with trees crowding right up against the road. Megan caught a glimpse of a rushing creek, more like a little river. She wondered what the surprise was. Anna’s surprises could be odd sometimes. Like the time she’d made T-shirts for Megan and her with Mr. O’Gorman’s picture on it. He was their eighth-grade history teacher, and they both had crushes on him at the time. Anna thought they should wear the shirts to school. Megan had told her that would be way too embarrassing, which Anna didn’t understand at all. She’d said it would be funny. Megan had refused and Anna shredded both shirts with her mother’s meat scissors.

    The bus reached the bottom of the valley. Black cows stood with their heads buried in knee-high grass, their tails switching. The other bus riders were waking up, gathering their possessions. The snorer behind her sat up with a grunt and belched. Megan craned her neck to look through the windshield. She could see nothing but the tops of some buildings partially hidden by a low hill. That must be the town, Ault Flats. Megan felt a wriggle of anticipation in her belly.

    The driver rolled through a stop sign, made a sharp left, then braked abruptly. He cut the engine and opened the door with a pneumatic hiss. It seemed very quiet without the engine noise. Megan watched the other riders file down the aisle. She hitched her messenger bag over her shoulder and wrestled her duffel down from the metal rack overhead. This was it. She was here.

    As Megan climbed down the steep black steps, the heat hit her like a furnace blast. It radiated up through the soles of her sandals and pressed against her face. Megan found herself alone on a cracked sidewalk.

    Buildings lined either side of the short street—the only road in the town, as far as Megan could tell. There was a worn-out pharmacy, a pawn shop, a barnlike structure with bags of fertilizer stacked out front and a sign reading BAKER’S FEED AND SEED, a repair shop with a disemboweled tractor visible in the open bay, and a liquor store.

    Her palms were sweaty and her messenger bag was cutting into her shoulder. Megan changed her grip on her duffel, scanning the buildings for the Leaf. The sun was a pale disk burning through the dull clouds. It was so quiet, Megan’s sandals scraped on the gritty sidewalk as she turned around. This place was really remote. She’d kind of been picturing something . . . cuter. And Anna wasn’t here. Megan tried to tamp down her annoyance. Maybe the bus had been early. She glanced at her phone. No. Right on time.

    A few men with weather-seamed faces sat outside the repair shop, perched on metal barrels. Megan felt their eyes on her legs and she swallowed, trying not to feel self-conscious. She wished she’d worn jeans instead of shorts. Where the hell was the damn Leaf restaurant? Did Anna have the name wrong or—She spotted a green and white sign across the street with a surge of relief and marched purposefully toward it.

    Megan set her bags down between her feet and leaned awkwardly against a windowsill, folding her arms on her chest and trying to look nonchalant. Don’t those gross old guys have anything else to do? Fix some tractors or something? One with a bushy brown beard winked at her. Megan gritted her teeth and looked steadily and deliberately at the yellow shop sign next door. J&B PAWN, SINCE 1960.

    Just then, she heard the rumble of an engine and saw a rust-red pickup roaring toward her, Anna at the wheel. Megan picked up her bags, a grin already on her face. She stepped to the curb in readiness, waving wildly as the pickup drew near. But Anna didn’t stop. The truck roared past. Megan could see Anna turn her head, laughing. She disappeared down the street. Megan’s hand wilted by her side, and a familiar mixture of frustration and resignation rose in her throat. She stood, her face flaming as the men in front of the repair shop chortled. At the end of the street, the truck screeched in a U-turn and drove back toward her. This time, Anna stopped and Megan ran to the passenger door, wrenching it open in a shower of rust flakes.

    Hey! Anna said, still laughing. Got you! Your face when I drove past was hilarious. Her sunglasses covered half her cheeks, like she had huge fly eyes. Her glossy black hair was twisted on top of her head, and she wore a clingy gray T-shirt and jeans cut off just above her knees.

    Megan tucked her messenger bag behind her feet and flung her duffel in the back. It was just Anna being Anna. Those old guys at the garage thought it was hilarious too. Megan kept her voice light.

    You look gorgeous, by the way. Anna reached over and gave Megan a one-armed hug as she drove. I’m so glad to see you!

    You too, Megan replied and suddenly, she was. Anna’s presence was like a firework—sizzling, bright, colorful. She relaxed back against the seat, which was covered with an old gray blanket, sprinkled liberally with dog hair. She cranked the window down as far as it would go and let the breeze dry her sweat-dampened hair. This truck is great. Really . . . farm-y.

    Yeah, Uncle Thomas let me borrow it to come get you. And it’s a stick shift! Can you believe I’m driving it?

    No, not really. Megan watched her friend’s sneakered feet alternately press the pedals on the floor. Do I have to drive it?

    Probably. We use it all the time for hay and feed and stuff. Anna shifted expertly into third gear.

    Oh. A few shreds of straw blew up from the floor of the cab and whirled around her knees. How’s it been so far? It feels like you left way longer than a week ago.

    Anna nodded. "I know. So much has happened too, she bubbled. Megan was about to ask what she meant, but Anna kept talking. How was home?"

    Megan made a face. Boring. Mom made me take online tours of colleges with her all week.

    Anna slowed down behind a trailer full of cows. Ick. Why didn’t you just tell her to stop?

    Oh, sure. She’d love that. Then you’d be working down here by yourself this summer because I’d be confined to the house. Megan extracted her water bottle again and

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