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    Imparare l'inglese: Extremely Funny Stories - Version Integrale
    Imparare l'inglese: Extremely Funny Stories - Version Integrale
    Imparare l'inglese: Extremely Funny Stories - Version Integrale
    Ebook102 pages1 hour

    Imparare l'inglese: Extremely Funny Stories - Version Integrale

    By Zac Eaton

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    About this ebook

    *PROMOZIONE: EBOOK + AUDIOLIBRO GRATUITO (MP3) DA ASCOLTARE SUL PC O SUL LETTORE MP3

    Version Integrale

    Imparare l'inglese può essere davvero divertente! Con "Extremely Funny Stories" di Zac Eaton imparerai l'inglese e conoscerai da vicino il famoso umorismo inglese: ironico e cinico. L'audiolibro incluso ti aiuterà ad apprendere una perfetta pronuncia. Attenzione: "Extremely Funny Stories" può creare dipendenza!
    Some Reviews:

    “The lady at Subway called an ambulance because she thought I was having an epileptic fit. I just could not stop laughing!”
    George Lamberty

    “You better sort your life out, Son”
    Dad

    “I fell off the toilet laughing!”
    Chris Schretzenmayr

    “Such an uplifting and light-hearted read, I nearly shit myself laughing.”
    Harley Buck

    This is the complete Set of the Series "Extremely Funny Stories".

    These stories of a journey of laughter, self depreciating humour and some seriously deep shit.

    LanguageItaliano
    PublisherZac Eaton
    Release dateJun 1, 2014
    ISBN9781311306418
    Imparare l'inglese: Extremely Funny Stories - Version Integrale

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      Book preview

      Imparare l'inglese - Zac Eaton

      Imparare l'inglese: Extremely Funny Stories

      Version Integrale

      Zac Eaton

      Copyright 2014

      Zac Eaton

      Smashwords Edition

      ISBN 9781311306418

      book@englishforlovers.co.uk

      Audiobook Included

      For your pleasure and learning I have included a recorded audiobook version of this story, which can be found on the last page.

      Other Books by Zac Eaton

      Learn English - Extremely Funny Stories

      Extremely Funny Stories is a running Series:

      1. A Day

      2. Love, Romance and Being Horny

      3. Invisible Touch

      4. Island-Monkey

      5. Welcome to My Life

      6. British Cuisine

      7. Broken Flowers

      8. Zac Eaton - The Collection (versione integrale)

      L'inglese per chi ama (18+) +Audiolibro

      Imparare l'inglese: Extremely Funny Stories

      Version Integrale

      Zac Eaton

      Copyright 2014 Zac Eaton

      ISBN 9781311306418

      Warning: The unauthorized reproduction or distribution of this copyrighted work is illegal. No part of this book may be scanned, uploaded or distributed via internet or other means, electronic or print without the author's permission. Criminal copyright infringement without monetary gain is investigated by the FBI and is punishable by up to 5 years in federal prison and a fine of $250,000. (http://www.fbi.gov.ipr/). Please purchase only authorized electronic or print editions and do not participate in or encourage the electronic piracy of copyrighted material.

      Smashwords Edition, License Notes

      This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

      All Smashwords books are sold DRM-free, without copy protection or encryption

      Introduzione

      Version Integrale

      Imparare l'inglese può essere davvero divertente! Con Extremely Funny Stories di Zac Eaton imparerai l'inglese e conoscerai da vicino il famoso umorismo inglese: ironico e cinico. L'audiolibro incluso ti aiuterà ad apprendere una perfetta pronuncia. Attenzione: Extremely Funny Stories può creare dipendenza!

      Some Reviews:

      The lady at Subway called an ambulance because she thought I was having an epileptic fit. I just could not stop laughing!

      George Lamberty

      You better sort your life out, Son

      Dad

      I fell off the toilet laughing!

      Chris Schretzenmayr

      Such an uplifting and light-hearted read, I nearly shit myself laughing.

      Harley Buck

      This is the complete Set of  the Series Extremely Funny Stories.

      These stories of a journey of laughter, self depreciating humour and some seriously deep shit.

      A Day

      Suddenly*, the excitement* the beginning of the semester brings has come to an end and even though I still have at least a thousand things to do, I feel as bored* as a pacifists gun. It is Friday evening, I am 29, dying to be kissed and at the moment I think I feel the same way a condom feels when he is finally freed from his little package and then shamefully* used for a teenage party trick. That clearly was not its destiny*. Nevertheless*, things remain good. I am sitting here at my desk facing the open window and I can hear a dogs bark* faintly* in the distance while someone next door is shagging* a trumpet.

      [suddenly = improvvisamente, excitement = tensione, bored = annoiato, pacifist = pacifista, shamefully = infamante, destiny = destino, nevertheless = ciononostante, bark = abbaiare, faintly = debole, distance = distanza, shagging = scopare]

      As I reflect* on the day I have just decided* to bore* you shitless and tell you how it was. Why suffer* alone? Telling someone how your day was can, if you are me, be quite embarrassing*, even damaging*, if, not like me, you have a good reputation* to lose*. So, you will see what I mean as I describe* my day.

      [reflect = riflettere, decided = deciso, bore = annoiarsi, suffer = soffrire, telling = raccontare, embarrassing = imbarazzante, damaging = dannoso, reputation = reputazione, lose = perdere, describe = descrivere]

      After swearing* at my alarm clock a second time while jumping* out of bed, I danced* the funky chicken. Then I put on some boxers and walked barefoot* straight to the kitchen* to make a cup of tea. Knowing our fridge* was empty* I still walked up to it with a sway* of intention*, opened it, poked my head in and stared* into empty space at a lonely* tin* of mushrooms, which I have probably known longer than my ex-girlfriend and from which, to my surprise*, mushrooms* are growing*. My facial expression* would tell you that I am thinking up a magical recipe* from this tin, but I am only analysing the smell. I took my fresh cup of tea back into my room, slammed* on the radio and did the Michael Jackson moonwalk to the bathroom where I shaved* a pretty face*. After realising* I am painfully late*, I dashed* out of the house leaving my untouched* steaming tea on my desk and jumped, in John Wayne style, onto my bike and we both sped of to uni.

      [swearing = imprecare, jumping = saltare, danced = ballato, walked barefoot = ha camminato a piedi scalzi, kitchen = cucina, fridge = frigorifero, empty = vuoto, sway = vacillare, intention = intenzione, poked = stuzzicato, stared = fissato, lonely = solitario, tin = barattolo, surprise = sorpresa, mushrooms = funghi, growing = grescere, facial expression = espressione del volto, recipe = ricetta, slammed = schianatato, shaved = rasato, pretty face = viso grazioso, realising = accertare, late = tardi, dashed = guizzare, untouched = intatto, sped = correre]

      While passing the shop windows in Freiberg, it reminded me, as it always does, how happy I am not to bother* with that kind of stuff and I just enjoyed the fresh air, colour of the clouds* and the rain running* through my hair*. After chaining* my bike to someone else’s, I walked into whatever building* it was and then noticed* my flies* were open (I really do keep forgetting) and I quickly and VERY carefully tried to zip them up, but naturally* they got stuck* and the harder I pulled the more stuck they became. As usual, during this violent epileptic fit, the girl I have been trying to impress* for the last 6 months decides* to float past* that very moment and she probably once again* thought* to herself: What a disaster. Same shit - everyday.

      [bother = impegnare, clouds = nuvole, running = correre, hair = capelli, chaining = incatenare, building = edifici, noticed = notato, flies = patta dei pantaloni, naturally = naturalmente, stuck = infilare, violent = violento, impress = impressionare, decides = deciso, float past = sorvolare,  once again = ancora una volta, thought = pensato]

      Normally, when we have an exam*, I take a big shiny* book with me and place it on my desk* just before the exam starts and everybody is nervously* waiting. So why should this one be any different*? You should have seen the uneasy*, curious* faces of my fellow students* staring its proportions while probably wondering* if that big beautiful book would have unlocked* the dark secrets of complex mathematical equations. Here is a conversation* I had with one of these fellow studies: What’s that? asks the guy behind me, leaning* forward, pointing* at the only thing in front of me*.

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