The New Mom's Guide to Living on Baby Time (The New Mom's Guides)
4.5/5
()
About this ebook
Each of the four books in the series offers real advice from women who have been there, done that, and want other moms to benefit from their trials and triumphs. A perfect gift for baby showers, Mother's Day, or any day, these small volumes are compact enough to take along in an overstuffed diaper bag and designed for the mom who can only find a few minutes of peace each day to read.
Susan Besze Wallace
Susan Besze Wallace is a magazine writer, the author of The New Mom's Guide to Life with Baby and a columnist for MomSense. She spent twelve years as a newspaper reporter nationwide before the daily deadlines of mothering three boys became her passion. She resides in Northern Virginia.
Read more from Susan Besze Wallace
The New Mom's Guide to Life with Baby Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings
Related to The New Mom's Guide to Living on Baby Time (The New Mom's Guides)
Titles in the series (4)
The New Mom's Guide to Your Body after Baby (The New Mom's Guides Book #1) Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The New Mom's Guide to Dealing with Dad (The New Mom's Guides) Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The New Mom's Guide to Living on Baby Time (The New Mom's Guides) Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The New Mom's Guide to Finding Your Own Mothering Style (The New Mom's Guides) Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings
Related ebooks
The New Mom's Guide to Dealing with Dad (The New Mom's Guides) Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The New Mom's Guide to Your Body after Baby (The New Mom's Guides Book #1) Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The New Mom's Guide to Finding Your Own Mothering Style (The New Mom's Guides) Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsEat, Play, Sleep: The Essential Guide to Your Baby's First Three Months Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Newborn Care Guide for Moms New For 2013 Caring For A Newborn Is Full Of Joy, Fulfillment, And Unconditional Love, As Well As Trust Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Happiest Mommy You Know: Why Putting Your Kids First Is the LAST Thing You Should Do Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Breast-feeding: Top Tips From the Baby Whisperer: Includes Advice on Bottle-Feeding Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Potty Training: Top Tips From the Baby Whisperer: A Sensible Approach to Toilet Training Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Sleep: Top Tips from the Baby Whisperer: Secrets to Getting Your Baby to Sleep Through the Night Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Green Baby - 50 Practical Tips for Mindful Parents Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Second Baby Survival Guide: How to stay calm and enjoy life with a new baby and a toddler Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsFirst-Time Mom: Getting Off on the Right Foot From Birth to First Grade Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5You Made It to Motherhood: A Guide for New Moms Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsRise and Shine: 101 Days of Inspiration for New Mothers Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsBedtime, the Ultimate Battle: A Parent's Sleep Guide for Infants and Toddlers Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems: Sleeping, Feeding, and Behavior--Beyond the Basics Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5How to Have a Baby and Not Lose Your Shit Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSheKnows.com Presents - The Mommy Files: Secrets Every New Mom Should Know (that no one else will tell you!) Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings365 Things Every New Mom Should Know: A Daily Guide to Loving and Nurturing Your Child Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Baby Sleep Manual: From three months to six (12 to 26 weeks) Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Chill Mom: How to go from anxious expectant mother to relaxed, confident mom Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Only Baby Book You'll Ever Need: A Parent's Guide to Everything! Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsFull of Life: Mom-to-Mom Tips I Wish Someone Had Told Me When I Was Pregnant Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The New Baby Blueprint: Caring for You and Your Little One Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsBaby's First Year: 61 secrets of successful feeding, sleeping, and potty training Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSelf-Care for New Moms: Thriving Through Your Postpartum Year Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings
Relationships For You
The Big Book of 30-Day Challenges: 60 Habit-Forming Programs to Live an Infinitely Better Life Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5I'm Glad My Mom Died Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5How to Not Die Alone: The Surprising Science That Will Help You Find Love Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/58 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5A Child Called It: One Child's Courage to Survive Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, HER Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The ADHD Effect on Marriage: Understand and Rebuild Your Relationship in Six Steps Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Covert Passive Aggressive Narcissist: The Narcissism Series, #1 Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Your Brain's Not Broken: Strategies for Navigating Your Emotions and Life with ADHD Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Boundaries Workbook: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Unfuck Your Intimacy: Using Science for Better Relationships, Sex, and Dating Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex: Creating a Marriage That's Both Holy and Hot Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Art of Loving Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5All About Love: New Visions Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Like Switch: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Influencing, Attracting, and Winning People Over Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Codependence and the Power of Detachment: How to Set Boundaries and Make Your Life Your Own Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: the heartfelt, funny memoir by a New York Times bestselling therapist Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Princess Bride: S. Morgenstern's Classic Tale of True Love and High Adventure Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Habits of the Household: Practicing the Story of God in Everyday Family Rhythms Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Unoffendable: How Just One Change Can Make All of Life Better (updated with two new chapters) Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5It's Not Supposed to Be This Way: Finding Unexpected Strength When Disappointments Leave You Shattered Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5
Reviews for The New Mom's Guide to Living on Baby Time (The New Mom's Guides)
3 ratings1 review
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5This is the perfecting timing for me to read this book. My daughter is seven weeks old and the advice here is priceless. Not so much necessarily to "learn", but more to hear that I am not crazy and not alone. So far all of The New Mom's Guides that I have read are fabulous and this one is right along with the others. I look forward to reading more. This one alone makes me want to look up a MOPS nearby.
Book preview
The New Mom's Guide to Living on Baby Time (The New Mom's Guides) - Susan Besze Wallace
Ads
Introduction
My New Center
Iwas standing at the kitchen counter, poised to attack the stacks of mail and bills and newspapers and dirty dishtowels surrounding me, and I heard it—my new baby’s cry.
No. Not yet. Not again. I haven’t gotten anything done. I haven’t even showered. The books said he should nap about two hours. I tried to will him back to sleep. I even muttered a prayer under my breath. Pleeeease, not yet. I need to do my stuff.
He wailed again.
I unclenched my fists and my eyes and made my way to my baby’s room.
I’d spent my son’s young life trying to deal with him—nourish him, situate him—so I could get back to my stuff. I thought that was a mom’s routine. But for some reason, on this day, a lightbulb went on, as I felt defeated by the number of things on my to-do list. A voice inside said, He isn’t a thing. He is the thing, my stuff,
my new center. And whatever else I thought was so important to do, that should move to the sidelines for now.
It was a beautiful, pivotal, helpful moment for me as a new mom who thrived, and still thrives, on being productive. Of course that didn’t help me write overdue thank-you notes, descudge my floor, or read something more invigorating than the ibuprofen bottle. You get the picture. You are probably living it.
Before kids, you controlled most things—when you ate, when you showered, how long you took to dry your hair, and whether you called in sick to work. Now a baby’s rhythms of eating, needing to be held, playing, and sleeping dictate the use of your days—and your nights. You might not have expected motherhood to feel so all-encompassing, so stifling at moments. Even when motherhood feels wonderful, it’s overwhelming.
This too shall pass,
my mom always likes to say. But we can enjoy the passage of these baby days, not just survive them. And we should. Our children absorb our attitudes—and our stress—from the get-go. Breathe deeply and get ready to take a look inside your mothering so far—what you do and how you feel about it. You always have enough time to be inspired by a new idea for making the most of this very unique season of life.
What’s Normal
Adjusting Your Expectations
Every morning when I lifted a little body out of a crib, big blue eyes looking to me for direction and nourishment, I felt a stabbing sense of being alone. That was true with my first child, when the only other sound around was the tinkling of a dog collar. It was true with my second, as I started juggling conversations with a preschooler while caring for the baby. And it was true with my third, when there were two other kids romping or eating breakfast while I locked eyes with the baby for the first time that day. I still felt alone.
It wasn’t a scary alone, like walking through a haunted house (though cobwebs were increasingly easy to find!). It was more of a heaviness, knowing I was the one who would choose everything that would touch my child’s life that day, and most days. I would decide what he would eat and wear and whom he would see. I would choose where he would sleep and what he would hear. With each baby it was at once exciting and overwhelming. The days rolled forward, and the decisions collected like a snowball rolling downhill. Early on I didn’t take many opportunities to stop and see what shape the snowball was taking or to pick the twigs out or just to stop rolling once in a while.
The question that pummeled me day after day after day was this: Was I doing it right? Millions of women were doing the same thing, but how did they do it? Did they dress baby before breakfast? Give a bath in the morning or at night? Had they started baby sign language at this age? Did they sleep when the baby did, as the books insisted? Maybe they were already out losing baby bulge by pushing the jogger stroller. Maybe they had nannies and were still in the sack at 9 a.m.
"You hear it and you hear it: ‘Cherish those moments.’ But that is truly incredible advice when I look back. I wrote down my son’s firsts—when that tooth came in, his first word—but they are just on two sheets of paper in the front of a baby book—a baby book that isn’t put together. He’s five! I was too busy to cherish the moments. I think you have to make a conscious decision to focus on those important moments, even if you have to let some things go. Because time will go. I had a friend in elementary school, and all I remember about her house is that her mom was cleaning every single time I was there. I don’t want to be that mom."
Vanessa
Are you wondering if you’re missing something that will make life easier, more enjoyable, and less exhausting? My experience to date says you will always wonder. You should indeed take stock of your routine and strive to do things well, but new moms tend to get whiplash trying to keep up with the volley of advice on raising baby coming their way.
Slow down. Sit down.
For a moment let go of the how-to books, the clock, the thoughts about what other moms