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    Who's In Your Orbit?: Beyond Facebook - Creating Relationships That Matter
    Who's In Your Orbit?: Beyond Facebook - Creating Relationships That Matter
    Who's In Your Orbit?: Beyond Facebook - Creating Relationships That Matter
    Ebook105 pages1 hour

    Who's In Your Orbit?: Beyond Facebook - Creating Relationships That Matter

    By Mike Muhney

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    About this ebook

    This is a book about how to get more value from your relationships, and how to deliver more value to the people you know.
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherCarpenter's Son Publishing
    Release dateJan 1, 2012
    ISBN9780983041504
    Who's In Your Orbit?: Beyond Facebook - Creating Relationships That Matter

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      Book preview

      Who's In Your Orbit? - Mike Muhney

      ways!

      PREFACE

      We live in an age of hyper-connectedness. Surrounded by vast, technology-enabled social networks, we’re more connected than ever before. We’re connected via Facebook friendships, LinkedIn connections, Twitter feeds, Google+ Circles, and no doubt even newer types of links by the time you read this.

      But how many of these relationships actually mean anything? And, viewed together, are they simply a loosely linked social network, or are they something more powerful and sustaining? Are they, in fact, Orbits?

      In this book, we present a pathway to stronger relationships and orbital networks. We discuss what makes relationships strong, how to counteract the relationship-weakening pressures of today’s social-media culture, and how to turn your networks into Orbits: spheres of resource and influence that support you in a meaningful way.

      What we discuss in this book isn’t rocket science. While it applies some insights from the science of social networking, most of it is good, old-fashioned common sense. Science can teach us a lot on a human level, but it takes common sense to make the most of these teachings and use them to understand and strengthen your relationships.

      But if it’s common sense, you may ask, why do I need a book to explain it to me? The simple answer is this: when it comes to relationships, common sense is not common at all.

      The understanding developed in this book has required a lot of accumulated experience from a wide range of people. At one end of the range are those who create relationships the way most of us breathe — unconsciously, and generally without too much effort. At the other end are those who struggle to get over the very basic human hurdles that interactions with others can represent.

      Wherever you may find yourself in this range, you can benefit from a better understanding of how your connections with others influence you — and of how you can interact with them to build strong relationships. Whether you’re focused on business, family, or friendships, applying the insights in this book will make your relationships and social networks stronger, unlocking a vast potential of mutual opportunity. You can grasp this opportunity to create deeply sustaining, collaborative Orbits.

      But don’t just take our word for it. Keep an open mind and make your way through the chapters. With a little bit of effort, some practice, and a determination to succeed, you’ll soon be on your way into Orbits.

      With regards,

      Mike and Max

         CHAPTER ONE

      Who Are All These Friends, Anyway?

      What does the word friend mean to you? How about relationship?

      Chances are, as you’ve incorporated social media into your daily life, your definitions of these words have changed dramatically in recent years. Getting in touch with others has never been easier. You’re connecting with more people than ever before — and sharing information with them all simultaneously.

      Being able to reach others so easily is a great advance. But how deep are most of these connections, really?

      We ourselves come from a time when real friends could be counted in the low double digits — so it was easy to maintain a mental database, not just of memorized phone numbers, but also of substantive personal information connecting us to each friend. Today, technology connects us all with a dizzying number of friends and professional contacts in a new and highly public way, but something has been lost. Our friendships have increased dramatically in quantity, but they’ve diminished in quality.

      Let’s take a closer look at what’s contributing to the loss of substance in all these relationships — and at how we can recapture the personal value that makes them meaningful.

      From Friends to Frienditutes

      Scott Adams, creator of the comic strip Dilbert, ran a series of cartoons focusing on the shallowness of Facebook relationships. In it, he used the term Frienditute for a certain type of not-so-genuine Facebook friend.

      Licensed from the Dilbert Store, Order #1759512

      While most of us friend people on Facebook with more sociable motives than those portrayed in Dilbert, Adams’ point that social-media friendship has become a less-satisfactory substitute for real friendship is well taken.

      At first glance, the reason these friendships are less than satisfying seems pretty obvious: we simply can’t spend as much time on each relationship when we have hundreds of them instead of a few dozen. Less time per relationship means lower-quality relationships, right? Well, that’s part of the problem, but let’s look a little deeper.

      First, let’s look at how the typical social-media relationship is initiated: You get an email invitation from someone on a service such as Facebook or LinkedIn, saying something like, So-and-so would like to connect with you. Oh, and by the way, this "friend doesn’t even take the time to write a truly (hell, even untruly) personal note, but just sends the default invite. So, offered the options to accept or decline, you decide to accept. Perhaps you even make the extra effort to respond with a personal note (unless you too have been lulled into the complacency of the default relationship

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