Oh Look, You've Bought A Puppy!
()
About this ebook
The very short, barely researched and totally off-the-cuff guide on how to deal with man’s best friend.
Once again, this is a short book. In fact, let’s call it a bookLET to avoid any confusion.
It’s about puppies. Everyone loves puppies. Have you been on Pinterest lately? Facebook? There are even television shows about them.
Puppies are adorable, which is why so many people want one. They romp and frolic, then collapse into fluffy balls of puppy-cuteness.
They’re everywhere.
Except at my house.
Excuse me while I shiver delicately.
Related to Oh Look, You've Bought A Puppy!
Related ebooks
101 Things to Know Before Getting a Dog: The Essential Guide to Preparing Your Family and Home for a Canine Companion Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings21 Things to Consider Before You Get a Cat Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsCats Work Like This Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsPuppy Parenting Basics Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThink like Cat Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsHow to Be a Cat: Kitty Pusskin's Guide to Living with Humans and Getting the Upper Paw Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings77 Things to Know Before Getting a Cat: The Essential Guide to Preparing Your Family and Home for a Feline Companion Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsA Spot in My Heart: Loving a Special Needs Dog Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsHuman Whisperers Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsPussweek: A Cat's Guide to Feline Empowerment Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Pound Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsA Brief History of Space Cats and the Care and Feeding Thereof Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsHow to Pet a Cat Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Woof!: A Gay Man's Guide to Dogs Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5I Want A Puppy (Best Pets For Kids Book 4): I Want A, #4 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Single Biggest Mistake People Make When Choosing A Puppy Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsPuppy Love: An Illustrated Guide to Picking Your Perfect Canine Companion Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsDog Training Diaries: Proven Expert Tips & Tricks to Live in Harmony with Your Dog Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsPuppy Parenting In An Apartment Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Complete Q & A Book on Dogs Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Our Dogs and Roscoe the Gold Plated Dog: The Life Story of Our Golden Retriever Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Bunny Lover's Complete Guide To House Rabbits Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Decoding Dogs: What'd You Do That For? Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsI Let the Dogs Out Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Hamster Handbook Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsA Dog Behaviourist’s Diary Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/521 Tips on Raising a Happy, Well-adjusted Dog: 21 Book Series Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsLife Lessons from Your Dog Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsPuppy Training Book Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsCat Lover's Daily Companion: 365 Days of Insight and Guidance for Living a Joyful Life with Your Cat Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5
Humor & Satire For You
Mindful As F*ck: 100 Simple Exercises to Let That Sh*t Go! Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5101 Fun Personality Quizzes: Who Are You . . . Really?! Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Sex Hacks: Over 100 Tricks, Shortcuts, and Secrets to Set Your Sex Life on Fire Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Tidy the F*ck Up: The American Art of Organizing Your Sh*t Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Love and Other Words Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Best F*cking Activity Book Ever: Irreverent (and Slightly Vulgar) Activities for Adults Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Anxious People: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/51,001 Facts that Will Scare the S#*t Out of You: The Ultimate Bathroom Reader Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Pimpology: The 48 Laws of the Game Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The 2,548 Wittiest Things Anybody Ever Said Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Everything I Know About Love: A Memoir Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Everything Is F*cked: A Book About Hope Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Best Joke Book (Period): Hundreds of the Funniest, Silliest, Most Ridiculous Jokes Ever Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5And Every Morning the Way Home Gets Longer and Longer: A Novella Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: the heartfelt, funny memoir by a New York Times bestselling therapist Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Nothing to See Here: A Read with Jenna Pick Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Solutions and Other Problems Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Shipped Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5I Will Judge You by Your Bookshelf Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5I Can't Make This Up: Life Lessons Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Killing the Guys Who Killed the Guy Who Killed Lincoln: A Nutty Story About Edwin Booth and Boston Corbett Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Soulmate Equation Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Plato and a Platypus Walk Into a Bar...: Understanding Philosophy Through Jokes Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Screwtape Letters Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5John Dies at the End Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5How to Be Perfect: The Correct Answer to Every Moral Question Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5My Favorite Half-Night Stand Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5
Related categories
Reviews for Oh Look, You've Bought A Puppy!
0 ratings0 reviews
Book preview
Oh Look, You've Bought A Puppy! - Millicent Bingham-Smythe
FORWARD
MY AGENT AND I were having a perfectly civil conversation the other week, when she gently suggested that perhaps it was time for me to write another book. Since my first effort, Bringing Up Baby, could hardly qualify as a real book, I was a bit perplexed by her suggestion.
She then mentioned the fact that I had, in the past year, joined no less that eight very distinguished writing guilds and organizations, and if I wanted to be actually accepted by any of them, then I might want to take this writing thing a bit more seriously.
The truth was, I really just wanted to get invited to all those posh conferences and parties, but I had to admit she had a valid point, and what would she suggest?
Dogs, she said. Dogs are very popular right now.
I thought about that. It seemed to be a very sound idea. Except that I knew absolutely nothing about dogs.
She then reminded me that I knew absolutely nothing about babies either, and it hadn’t stopped me the first time.
Touché.
WHY, EXACTLY, DO YOU WANT A PUPPY IN THE FIRST PLACE?
THIS IS A very important question, because once you get your pup, it will be with you for a long time. Years. It’s a big responsibility. Huge. There’s money involved.
Since I could never imagine getting a dog, I asked some dog people I know why they wanted a dog, and here are some of their replies.
To meet members of the opposite sex.
Yes, that’s right. And if you’ve ever tried on-line dating, well, then perhaps this idea isn’t such