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    The Husband Project: 21 Days of Loving Your Man--on Purpose and with a Plan
    The Husband Project: 21 Days of Loving Your Man--on Purpose and with a Plan
    The Husband Project: 21 Days of Loving Your Man--on Purpose and with a Plan
    Ebook198 pages2 hours

    The Husband Project: 21 Days of Loving Your Man--on Purpose and with a Plan

    By Kathi Lipp

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    About this ebook

    Keeping a marriage healthy is all about the details—the daily actions and interactions in which husbands and wives lift each other up and offer support, encouragement, and love. In The Husband Project women will discover fun and creative ways to bring back that lovin’ feeling and remind their husbands—and themselves—why they married in the first place.

    Using the sense of humor that draws thousands of women a year to hear her speak, Kathi Lipp shows wives through simple daily action plans how they can bring the fun back into their relationship even amidst their busy schedules.

    The Husband Project is an indispensable resource for the wife who desires to

    • discover the unique plan God has for her marriage and her role as a wife
    • create a plan to love her husband “on purpose”
    • support and encourage other wives who want to make their marriage a priority
    • experience release from the guilt of “not being enough”

    The Husband Project is for every woman who desires to bring more joy into her marriage but just needs a little help setting a plan into action.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherHarvest House Publishers
    Release dateJan 1, 2009
    ISBN9780736933100
    Author

    Kathi Lipp

    Kathi Lipp is a national speaker, podcast host of the Clutter Free Academy, and the bestselling author of The Husband Project, Clutter Free and Overwhelmed. She and her husband, Roger, live in San Jose, California and are parents of four young adults. Using humor and wisdom, Kathi offers hope paired with practical steps to women looking to live with meaning. You can follow Kathi at www.KathiLipp.com.

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    • 5/5
      Perfect for : Personal Use, Women's Bible Study Group, Women's GroupIn a nutshell: Love it . . . NEED it! In hoping to pick up a book that would help me "fix" some things with my husband, I actually found that I needed to fix myself - starting with my perspective! After one day of reading the book, I found myself noticing things that I am grateful for, instead of focusing on the things that aren't quite right. I also realized that now that we have a toddler, I've moved my focus from my husband to our son, and it is time for me to learn to share that focus a little better so I'm not neglecting anyone. Sounds hard right? Nope - Kathi Lipp has written a wonderful book to help you show your husband that you love and appreciate him through little things you do over the course of 21 days (21 days builds a habit!). I highly recommend this book to anyone in a serious relationship - no matter how long you've been in it!Extended Review: One thing I've learned over the past eight years of marriage - we will have our ups and downs, our days where we love each other unconditionally, and we also have some not-so-great moments where tempers flare and teeth grind. . . SO, when I heard about this great new book out called The Husband Project, I was instantly interested! Wow - sounds like the answer to my prayers. While it is not quite the project I was expecting, it is indeed something I need. I've become absorbed in daily things that get on my nerves and have stopped paying attention to the good things he is doing, and I certainly don't make the effort to show him that I appreciate him - so this book is perfect for me!Kathi Lipp has created a project, that is meant to help you show your husband that you love and respect him, but shhhh - it's a secret. She carefully explains that you want to keep this project a secret so that expectations aren't changed (You've worked to set up a nice surprise, and if he knows you are working on the Husband Project, he may not see the surprise as anything special because he is expecting some grand gesture, so this is one of those times when it is good to keep a secret).Content: The book has three main sections. The first goes into how to prepare for the Husband Project (why is it important, what is the purpose, what do you need to do ahead of time).The second section covers the actual project - all three weeks are detailed with daily project suggestions which include good explanations, a daily prayer, ways to change the project, and actual feedback from people who have done that project.The third section includes a few tools to use throughout the project. It has a great checklist/planner, two guides (guide to choosing lingerie, and some great recipes for guy food), and some information on how to contact the author.Format: Each project is explained in detail, including why the project was chosen and what it is trying to accomplish. It is followed by a prayer for the day, some ways to be more creative with the project, and some comments from people who have already completed the project.Readability: Very easy to read, understand and implement!Overall: I highly recommend this book to anyone in a serious relationship, but especially for those whose relationship feels like it has hit a dull or rough patch. Give this book a chance to help change your perspective and put some fun (respect, love, laughter, etc) back into your relationship.

    Book preview

    The Husband Project - Kathi Lipp

    "Wow! I can’t think of anything more powerful a woman can do for her marriage than The Husband Project. There will be thousands of smiling men as a result of this great book. I highly recommend it for every woman. Shhh! It’s a secret, but I’ve already started on The Husband Project to bless my man!"—Pam Farrel, author of Men Are Like Waffles, Women Are Like Spaghetti and Red-Hot Monogamy

    I couldn’t put the book down. With great insight into the heart, desires, and needs of men, Kathi Lipp has put together a ‘can’t miss’ guide to a better marriage. It has wit (I’m still laughing at the Worship Macarena) and wisdom. My favorite projects are 2, 14, and 20—oh, and all the bonus projects (hey, I’m a guy).—Steve Jordahl, producer, Family News in Focus, Focus on the Family

    "Have a sizzling affair—with your spouse! The Husband Project brims with the kind of secret and surprising advice that’ll help you become the wife he desires. A fun, innovative, and practical book."—Mary E. DeMuth, wife of one, mother of three, author of Ordinary Mom, Extraordinary God and Authentic Parenting in a Postmodern Culture

    "Although camouflaged as an adorably written and delightfully funny book, in reality The Husband Project is a powerful tool to facilitate a more solid and fulfilling marriage. Chock-full of fresh ideas and practical insights, this book is inspiring and entertaining—and the 21-day plan is easy to follow. It’s sure to infuse your marriage with renewed passion and reawakened love."—Paula Friedrichsen, speaker and author of The Man You Always Wanted Is the One You Already Have

    If your romance has turned into a nightly sitcom, Kathi Lipp has some fun ways to put the courtship back into your marriage, not to mention bonding time with your girlfriends. An excellent resource for all things relationship and getting the most out of a joyous journey alongside your husband.—Kristin Billerbeck, author of What a Girl Wants and The Trophy Wives Club

    HARVEST HOUSE PUBLISHERS

    EUGENE, OREGON

    Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture quotations are from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. NIV®. Copyright©1973, 1978, 1984 by the International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved.

    Verses marked MSG are from The Message. Copyright © by Eugene H. Peterson 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

    Verses marked NLT are from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright ©1996, 2004. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, IL 60189 USA. All rights reserved.

    Cover design by Left Coast Design, Portland, OR

    Cover illustration © Krieg Barrie

    Backcover author photo by Jessi Enguerra

    Published in association with the literary agency of WordServe Literary Group, Ltd., 10152 S. Knoll Circle, Highlands Ranch, CO 80130

    THE HUSBAND PROJECT

    Copyright © 2009 by Kathi Lipp

    Published by Harvest House Publishers

    Eugene, Oregon 97402

    www.harvesthousepublishers.com

    Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

    Lipp, Kathi, 1967-

    The husband project / Kathi Lipp.

        p. cm.

    Includes bibliographical references.

    ISBN 978-0-7369-2522-8 (pbk.)

    1. Marriage—Religious aspects—Christianity. 2. Wives—Religious life. I. Title.

    BV4596.M3L57 2009

    248.8'435—dc22

    2008020671

    All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—electronic, mechanical, digital, photocopy, recording, or any other—except for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior permission of the publisher.

    Printed in the United States of America

    09 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 / BP-SK / 11 10 9 8 7 6 5

    This book is completely and totally dedicated to my husband,

    Roger Lipp. If it had not been for the questionable judgment

    you showed when you said, "I think you need to give this

    speaking and writing thing to God and see what He does with

    it," none of this would have ever happened.

    I still go throughout my day, stop, and pretty much cannot

    believe that I get to be married to you.

    Acknowledgments

    To my son, Justen Hunter, and my daughter, Kimber Hunter, for letting me practice being a mom on you and for sharing my love of written words so much that you gave me untold amounts of grace while writing this book. Not only are you both gifted writers, you are turning out to be great people.

    To my stepkids, Amanda and Jeremy, for sharing your amazing dad and your beautiful lives with me. It is an honor to be your stepmom.

    To my parents, Bill and Connie Richerson, for your unwavering support of any crazy thing I wanted to do, and the love to see me through.

    To Roger’s parents, Pastor Dean and Betty Dobson, and Dewayne and Mary Jane Lipp, who have raised an incredible man and shown him firsthand what true love looks like.

    To Angela Bowen, my friend and prayer girl, accountability partner and believer of all good things. You have to know that none of this would have happened without you.

    To Kim and Doug Gonsalves and Chris and Vikki Francis, I pray that the generosity you have shown me will pour over into others’ lives. You four are walking miracles and tangible examples of Christ’s love.

    To Pastor Steve and Shannon Jordahl and Pastor Jim and Kim Meyer. You have left a spiritual legacy that you’ll never fully recognize until Jesus tells you Himself. Thank you for letting me be a part of it.

    To the amazing force of nature that is my agent, Rachelle Gardner, and to Rod Morris of Harvest House. Thank you for having the time to listen to my crazy little idea about a husband book and for having a passion to see marriages helped and healed. It is an honor to work with you both.

    To my critique group, Cathy Armstrong, Judy Squire, Pat Sikora, Kathie Williams, and most of all Katie Vorreiter. You have helped me find my voice, and at the same time made me think I might be able to someday use it to write a book.

    To the other amazing writers who have loved and supported me along the way, including Lynn Walker, Susy Flory, and Cheri Gregory.

    To my prayer partners, and Advisory Board, including Carol Alexander, Terri Gohner, Marci Maples, Sherry Eager, Sheri Wideman, Penny Sands, Lynette Furstenberg, Kelli Simmerok, Pam Kelley, Cindy Anderson, Mary Dickerson, Dana Galasso, Patti Johnston, Michelle Smith. Each and every one of you is precious to me.

    To our brothers and their others: Brian, Lucinda, Randy, Debbie, Rick, and Linda. We are blessed to be surrounded by such love.

    To Pastor Scott Simmerok and the people of Church on the Hill in San Jose, CA. Thank you for being His hands and feet to our family.

    Finally, to Teresa Drake. God’s timing is a crazy thing, and I am amazed at the talent, encouragement, and incredible gift that He lent me through you at just the right time. God has amazing things in store for you. Glad I got to be there to see the seeds sprout.

    Contents

    Acknowledgments

    Laying a Foundation: Preparing for The Husband Project

      1. Why The Husband Project?

      2. A Quick How-to Guide for The Husband Project

      3. Why 21 Days?

      4. I’ve Got a Secret…and So Should You

      5. Accountability: The Key to Making It Work

    The Husband Project Accountability Covenant

      6. How to Handle Tough Situations during The Project

      7. Every Marriage Is Different

      8. Looking for the Good in Your Marriage

      9. But It’s Not Fair

    10. Glossary of Terms

    Building Him Up: Launching The Husband Project

    The Send-Off

    Week One Projects

    Project 1—30 Minutes Is All It Takes:

    Create Some Free Time When He Gets Home

    Project 2—Back in the Day:

    Do Something He Enjoyed Before You Got Married

    Project 3—You da’ Man:

    Spreading Great Gossip about Your Guy

    Project 4—Heart vs. Stomach: A Treat Just for Him

    Project 5—E-flirt.com: Text or E-mail Some Sweet Nothings

    Project 6—A Little Hands-on Attention:

    Meeting Your Husband’s Physical (Touch) Needs.

    Project 7—Trophy Wife: Looking Goooood for Your Man

    Bonus Project 1—Sex: Doing Your Homework

    Week Two Projects

    Project 8—Location, Location, Location:

    A Special Treat in a Special Place

    Project 9—Hi-ho, Hi-ho: Working Together

    Project 10—Dress to Impress: Wear Something Just for Him

    Project 11—Stress-Be-Gone:

    Eliminate Something that Makes Him Crazy

    Project 12—Gotcha! Notice the Great Things He Does

    Project 13—On My Mind: Turning Your Thoughts toward Him

    Project 14—Move Over Rachael Ray:

    Cook Something for Your Husband

    Bonus Project 2—Sex: Lingerie Shopping, a Gift for Both of You

    Week Three Projects

    Project 15—What Not to Wear: Pitching the Pajama Pants

    Project 16—Is It Getting Hot in Here—Or Is It You?

    Let Him Know You Think He’s Hot

    Project 17—Playing Hooky:

    Give Your Guy the Night (or Morning) Off

    Project 18—Dinner’s on Me: Take Him Out for His Favorite Meal

    Project 19—The Service Here Is Excellent:

    Bringing Home the B&B Experience

    Project 20—Post-it Notes, Man’s Greatest Invention:

    Leave a Word of Encouragement

    Project 21—Car Chases and Karate Chops: It’s Guy Movie Night

    Bonus Project 3—Sex: I Think We’re Alone Now

    Wrap Up

    Tools of The Husband Project

    The Husband Project Planner

    The Real Woman’s Guide to Lingerie Shopping

    A Chick’s Guide to Guy Food

    Dear Reader

    About the Author

    Laying a Foundation

    Preparing for The Husband Project

    1

    Why The Husband Project?

    Kathi, a couple of us need to quit the project.

    I couldn’t believe what Angela was saying. Quit The Husband Project? We’d just started that weekend.

    Ange, are you kidding me? Why do you want to quit already?

    I was talking to some of the other girls, and because we’re being so nice, our husbands are becoming suspicious. They think we’re all having affairs!

    Apparently, there’s a bigger need for The Husband Project than even I could have expected.

    The Beginning of The Husband Project

    Our husbands are becoming suspicious. They think we’re all having affairs!

    At my busy church in San Jose, California, I serve in a variety of roles. Some of the roles I have played have been on the programming team with my husband, Roger (who is the director of the Worship Arts Ministry), leading Bible studies and small groups and taking meals to people who are sick or having babies. But my favorite role by far is mentoring women.

    The girls I mentor are smart, funny, and committed to serving God. They really are amazing. However, like most wives I know, they have a tendency to share about their husbands.

    He’s never home. I feel like I’m single—but with an extra person to clean up after.

    "Why is it when he’s watching our kids it’s babysitting?"

    We used to be romantic, but now our idea of romance is reading take-out menus together.

    The sharing started to concern me. I wasn’t judging these girls, trust me. I found myself slipping every once in a while, saying something endearing about my husband while rolling my eyes.

    A Change in Perspective

    I know the importance of loving and honoring my husband, and like every other lesson in my life, I learned it the hard way. (Why can’t I ever learn things while eating chocolates and shopping?)

    I married in my early twenties, and two babies came along shortly after the marriage vows. In retrospect, I can see that as soon as I discovered the wonders of a Diaper Genie, my concentration shifted from my husband to the day-to-day care of my kids. With a full-time job thrown in, the goal of making my husband feel special dropped way down on my priority list.

    After a painful marriage and divorce, I am now remarried to an amazing guy. When new friends meet him they say, Oh, so this is Prince Charming! He’s a great father and stepdad, and he loves me and his God and indulges my passion for fat-free coconut yogurt on a regular basis. I really couldn’t ask for a better guy.

    And yet, like a great pair of comfortable flip-flops, he’s sometimes easy to take for granted. He’s always there—not demanding anything of me. He can fix his own frozen pizza when I’m too busy to cook, and he can even wash his own socks in a pinch. When work deadlines loom and kids have dozens of activities, I sometimes let my relationship with Rog fall to sixth or seventh on my Hey, pay attention to me! list.

    Have you noticed our culture has a one-way expectation that a husband should give his wife what she needs (sending flowers to work, doing his share of the dirty work around the house, being a great dad, remembering and celebrating anniversaries) without asking for anything in

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