Homosexuality and Following Jesus

On Paul Flaman’s Homosexuality and Following Jesus

"Dr. Flaman has provided the church with some sound recommendations on how a Christian community is called to respond to this delicate issue, in much the same way Jesus related to the marginalized of his day: through a call to repentance and the provision of a place for healing not judgment. As someone who has lived with same-sex attraction for most of my adult life and who has always trusted in the love that Christ promises, I found Homosexuality and Following Jesus to be a very encouraging and thought-provoking work; it reinforces so much of what I myself have experienced and what I hope for others who struggle in this way."

–ANONYMOUS

For the Christian, the desire to ‘please’ God is ever present. Flaman, through his theological and pastoral perspectives, helps us move beyond an often sterile debate full of well-worn arguments, to enable a fuller listening for God as we live before him.

–REV. SEAN LARKIN, Archbishop,

United Anglican Church Province II

Not everyone will agree with the position that Dr. Flaman presents in this book but they are sure to be challenged and to hear a gracious voice that wants to continue the conversation toward faithfulness to God.

–REV. BRYAN CLARKE, Presbyterian/Reformed

Christian Chaplain, University of Alberta,

www.gracefinder.org

"Homosexuality and Following Jesus explains how knowing and living the truth of Christ in love is the answer to the questions and difficulties faced by those who experience same-sex erotic attractions and those who care about and for them. Flaman integrates relevant gospel themes with the writings of biblical scholars, theologians, pastoral ministers (both Catholic and non-Catholic), and mental health professionals, as well as with Catholic teaching and with the testimonies of men and women who have personally experienced same-sex attractions. This book offers hope, showing how healing and virtue are possible."

–PHILIP M. SUTTON, Ph.D., Licensed Psychologist,

Marriage and Family Therapist, and Clinical Social Worker;

Editor, Journal of Human Sexuality;

Director, International Federation for Therapeutic Choice

In keeping with scripture, experience, and research findings on various aspects of homosexuality, Flaman develops a genuine Christian approach to this sensitive issue. This well-organized treatise addresses coping with same-sex erotic attractions and with enmity for those whose perspectives on this issue differ. Highly recommended for Christians and non-Christians alike.

–EUGENE RATSOY, Eastern Orthodox Christian,

Professor Emeritus of Education, University of Alberta

Beginning with the example and teaching of Jesus, Dr. Flaman presents the reader with the opportunity to view homosexuality through a compassionate, healing, and biblical lens.

–REV. STUART W. APPENHEIMER,

Brighouse United Church, Richmond, B.C.

Paul Flaman’s book is a labor of love and his appreciation for the truth is evident. While many works examine the origins of same-sex attraction, the approaches to supporting those with SSA, or the Church’s teachings on SSA, Flaman uniquely explores how our approach to individuals with same-sex attraction must reflect the teachings and the love of Christ.

–REV. PAUL CHECK, Executive Director of Courage

International, a Catholic apostolate ministering to those

with same-sex attractions and their loved ones

This book, rooted in excellent scholarship and sound moral theology, is written from the heart, a heart full of Christlike love. We all can be thankful for Professor Flaman’s superb book.

–WILLIAM E. MAY, Emeritus Professor of Moral Theology,

Pontifical John Paul II Institute at the Catholic University of America,

and Senior Research Fellow at the Culture of Life Foundation

HOMOSEXUALITY

AND

FOLLOWING JESUS

PAUL FLAMAN

Copyright © 2011 by Paul Flaman

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.

Nihil Obstat:

Rev. Jack Gallagher, C.S.B.

Censor Deputatus

Imprimatur:

+Richard W. Smith

Archbishop of Edmonton, AB

September 12, 2011

The Nihil Obstat and Imprimatur are official declarations that a book or pamphlet is free of doctrinal or moral error. No implication is contained therein that those who have granted the Nihil Obstat or Imprimatur agree with the contents, opinions, or statements expressed.

Published in 2011 by

BPS Books

Toronto and New York

www.bpsbooks.com

A division of Bastian Publishing Services Ltd.

ISBN 978-1-926645-78-0

Cataloguing-in-Publication Data available from Library

and Archives Canada.

Cover: Gnibel

Text design and typesetting: Casey Hooper Design

Printed by Lightning Source, Tennessee. Lightning Source paper, as used in this book, does not come from endangered old-growth forests or forests of exceptional conservation value. It is acid free, lignin free, and meets all ANSI standards for archival-quality paper. The print-on-demand process used to produce this book protects the environment by printing only the number of copies that are purchased.

To all persons

who experience

same-sex erotic attractions

Contents

Acknowledgments

Introduction

Chapter 1: God’s Will, Love, and Truth

Chapter 2: Christian Community

1) Divisions and Unity

2) A Proper Pastoral Approach to Homosexuality

Chapter 3: Salvation, Healing, and Christian Maturity

1) Healing and Homosexuality

2) Healing and Identity

3) Some Mistaken Views

Chapter 4: The Cross and Fullness of Life

Chapter 5: Christian Morality and Human Needs

1) A Few Preliminary Considerations

2) Sexual Immorality and the Virtue of Chastity

3) A Few Additional Considerations

Conclusion

Further Reading

Endnotes

Index

Acknowledgments

First of all, my thanks to the men and women with same-sex erotic attractions¹ who have shared with me some of their experiences, views, and insights. They will remain anonymous. They have helped me develop my own thinking on the subject of this book.

Next, I would like to express my appreciation to the following people who have provided feedback, suggestions, or questions in response to a draft of this book: Denis Pfeffer, a biologist; Dr. Heather Looy, a professor of biopsychology at The King’s University College; Hudson Byblow, a high school teacher; Dan LaBelle, a retired school teacher; John Gay, an editor; Terry Gunn and Gary Brandl, members of the Focolare Movement of Unity; Denis Boyd, a clinical psychologist; Mark Elvin, director of Living Waters Prairie Region (Canada), a Christian ministry for people struggling with relational and sexual brokenness; Fr. Paul Fachet, omi, a biblical scholar; Dr. Rebecca Davis Matthias, a Christian ethicist; Eugene Ratsoy, Professor Emeritus of Education; William E. May, a Catholic moral theologian; and Fr. Paul Check, Director of the Courage apostolate.

Moreover, I am grateful to my students and others who have raised questions or shared their views and insights with me on homosexuality.

Next, I would like to express my thanks to the staff of BPS Books, especially to Don Bastian for his careful editing of the book and for his many helpful suggestions. Special thanks to those who have written endorsements.

Finally, I would like to express my profound appreciation and gratitude to my dear wife, Maggie, who made several helpful suggestions and is a great support to me in my research, teaching, and writing.

Introduction

Homosexuality is a complex phenomenon with many dimensions and many divisions. Among other things, it includes men and women who experience same-sex erotic attractions and/or who engage in same-sex genital relations. Among people who identify themselves as Christians, one finds a variety of responses to such issues as homosexual orientation, the morality of same-sex genital relations, same-sex romantic partnerships and marriage, adoption by same-sex couples, and so forth. Many people are deeply divided over these issues, not only in the wider society but also within a number of Christian denominations.

This book is a reflection on homosexuality in the light of following Jesus. As reported in the gospels of the Christian New Testament, Jesus called people to follow him.¹ He commissioned his disciples to extend this invitation to people of all nations. Many people throughout the centuries since Jesus’ earthly ministry, including many of us today, have experienced this call.² What does it really mean to follow Jesus? Those of us who identify ourselves as Christians, as followers of Jesus, need to be careful not to reduce him to fit our wants or limited perspectives. If Jesus is really God incarnate, as the New Testament proclaims him, it indeed makes sense to follow him, to conform our lives to him rather than the other way around.

What are the requirements for following Jesus and the implications of following him, both for those who experience same-sex erotic attractions and others, including their family members, friends, pastors, counselors, teachers, other professionals, and fellow citizens? I invite any readers who do not believe that Jesus is God incarnate or are not sure what they think about him to seek the truth, that is, to try to discover who Jesus really is and whether or not what he says can contribute to our understanding of homosexuality today.

Jesus, both in his example and his teaching, is very relevant to the issue of homosexuality, even though his teachings, as recorded in the New Testament, do not explicitly mention homosexuality. Jesus transcends the human categories and stereotypes, such as liberal and conservative, that are often used to label people in discussions or debates about homosexuality. On the one hand, Jesus called and continues to call his disciples to a radical change, or repentance — to a radically new freedom, fullness of life, and joy. On the other hand, as the author of Hebrews affirms, Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever (13:8),³ since he is not only human but also God, who is infinite, contains every perfection, and does not change (cf. Mal 3:6). As the light of the world (Jn 8:12), Jesus can enlighten all of us on homosexuality and related controversies and confusions.

    Chapter 1    

God’s Will, Love, and Truth

Jesus says, Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father in heaven (Mt 7:21). What is God’s will? What does God want us to do or not to do? In general, God’s will is the same for all of us. It is summarized by Jesus in the great commandment and second commandment: You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind and You shall love your neighbor as yourself. Jesus points out that all of the law and the prophets hang on these two commandments (Mt 22:34-40). In other words, all of morality can be related to loving God, others, and oneself properly. Since many who hold very different views on the morality of same-sex genital acts will agree with this,¹ we need to look more closely at what such love really means.

Responding to the Needs of Others

When Jesus is asked, And who is my neighbor? in response to his command to love your neighbor as yourself, he tells the parable of the Good Samaritan. Given that Jesus was speaking to a Jewish audience, it is very interesting that his model of neighborliness is this man from a people who were at enmity with the Jews. Nevertheless, he provided for the needs of a man from Jerusalem (most likely a Jew) left half dead by robbers (Lk 10:25-37). His parable of the last judgment (see Mt 25:31-46) also strongly calls us to respond properly and concretely to the real needs of people, including those we may consider least, with genuine love. According to Jesus, those who do not respond to people’s needs will experience eternal punishment, but those who do, the righteous, will experience eternal life. The implication for those who follow Jesus is that we are all called to treat all people, whatever their sexual inclinations and whether or not they behave in ways we approve, as persons, and to respect their dignity as children of God, as brothers and sisters of Jesus. We all have the same basic human needs to survive and be fulfilled. If our needs for genuine respect, to be loved and to love, for friendship and affection, and so forth, are not met through healthy relationships, we may seek to meet these needs through unhealthy relationships, perhaps even through anti-Christian subcultures.

The command to love your neighbor as yourself finds a parallel in the Golden Rule of Jesus: So always treat others as you would like them to treat you (Mt 7:12 NJB²). If applied thoughtfully, these sayings of Jesus can promote much more care, sensitivity, understanding, and respect. Concerning homosexuality, for example, conservative or traditional Christians often need to learn how to treat liberal Christians and those who identify themselves as gays and lesbians as they would like to be treated if they were in their shoes. Gays and lesbians and liberal Christians, meanwhile, need to learn how to show the same kind of understanding and respect for conservative or traditional Christians and those who identify themselves as ex-gays and ex-lesbians. Putting these teachings of Jesus into practice would go a long way toward promoting empathy and mutual understanding, and to overcoming hurt feelings and divisions on the matter of homosexuality.³

The New Commandment of Jesus

On the question of how we ought to love and treat people, Jesus’ new commandment, Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another (Jn 13:34; cf. Jn 15:12-17), is most relevant. Jesus says he has loved us as God the Father has loved him (Jn 15:9). God, who is a great mystery of love (1 Jn 4:7-12), is the highest model and the source of how we