King of Fools: The Farthest Islands, #1

King of Fools

by B. L. Pride

CHAPTER I

He just wasn’t prepared to conform to other people’s rules, that was all.

The sun was piercingly bright and Luke couldn’t force his eyes open into the light of the autumn morning. Where the hell could his phone be? And who the hell was so annoying so early in the day? Feeling for the well-known shape and size on the floor, he thought his head just might explode. He definitely shouldn’t have had so much to drink last night.

Another sound, something between a voice and a moan coming from somewhere really near, too near, actually, surprised him, and he instinctively opened his eyes despite the pain. Oh, shit. The day was an official fiasco and it hadn’t even begun yet. Blond hair on the pillow right next to him moved slightly, and he just couldn’t believe this was happening. The noise of the phone chased the thoughts out of his head, so trying to remember how and why Sonia was there with him was an impossible assignment. Okay, he will just have to deal with it. Eventually. Finally, his fingers came across something resembling his phone, but it was just an empty bottle he was touching. The phone shut up for a couple of blessed seconds but started ringing again almost immediately.

Luke sat up and tried to function. This obviously wasn’t just an ordinary morning, and he obviously wasn’t his usual self, but he was still going to have to function. He looked around and scanned the room’s usual chaos. Where was the sound coming from?

The phone, mumbled the unwelcome voice in his bed.

Luke hid his face in his hands for a moment. So this was what a really nasty morning felt like.

Yeah, he mumbled in response, and waited for the phone to stop mutilating his brain. No such luck. The jacket he was wearing last night fell from the chair, vibrating the answer to his passive phone hunt on the floor. He got up, grabbed the jacket, and started searching through the pockets.

You look so good in the morning, Sonia was trying to be either funny or nice, but he simply wasn’t in the mood for her now.

Actually, he was never in the mood for her; the problem was just that he wasn’t very good at showing her that consistently. So, what else was there for him to do but to turn around like the biggest coward ever and show her his butt–naked back? She giggled obnoxiously, remarking something stupid about his ass, and he tried to ignore her comments.

At last, he got hold of the vibrating noise in one of the pockets and fished it out. Jesus, what else was going to happen to him today?

Hi, Mom, he said, heading toward the kitchen for a bit of privacy. How are you?

Oh, completely unlike him, she was just her usual self, effortlessly managing to make him feel like the biggest loser in the world.

I’m fine, honey, but I’m just so worried about you.

There’s no need to worry, Mom, he sighed. I’m okay.

Well, living the way you’ve been living these last couple of months really doesn’t make you okay, she sneered. And thank God, you’ve got me to make it all perfect again.

Luke tried not to sigh again. Hopefully he wouldn’t lose his nerves and get into another one of their pointless and artificially heartbreaking fights. He struggled with the wish to hang up, and managed a pretty normal question.

Really? How do you think you can do that?

Do what, honey?

Oh, God, he had to smile despite the fact that her ways were mainly irritating most of the time.

Make my life perfect, Mom.

Oh, you just listen to what happened the other day. I think I got you a job.

Luke leaned against the wall and pulled on a pair of boxers. Both the topic of the conversation and the person he was having it with demanded something less comfortable than being naked.

Oh, Mom, you didn’t, he complained, feeling so annoyingly like an eight-year-old that he could laugh if it wasn’t for the pounding headache wanting to rip his brain out. Not again.

But I did and this time you’ll thank me for it.

Really? he turned on the coffee maker, firmly decided that he would not waste the energy to debate over an already lost cause.

Well, his mom started, it was an extremely lucky coincidence and I am convinced you’ll at least consider the option.

I’m listening.

Luke heard footsteps approaching the kitchen, and silently cursed. Sonia was the last thing he needed right now, with his mom slicing one end of his brain and a hangover doing the same with the other, but she was there and didn’t even have the decency to back off when he was on the phone.

Do you remember Mrs. Levy, the one who used to live down the street?

Sure, he had to step away from a too enthusiastic embrace which was feeling his stomach and lowering down towards the upper line of his boxers.

Give me a sec, Mom, he mumbled, covered the phone with his hand, and hissed, Can’t you see I’m on the phone?

Sonia’s lips pouted and her eyes gleamed offensively as she turned around and headed toward the bathroom. Of course, he had to feel a bit bad. She always succeeded to make him feel bad for the way he was treating her.

Okay, Mom, I’m back.

Were you talking to someone?

Was she really asking him this question?

Yes, Mom, I was.

Oh, I’m sorry to have interrupted your morning routine, said a sour voice and miraculously changed the moment she changed the subject. But since it isn’t even morning anymore, you will have to bear with me for a while. So, as I was saying, Mrs. Levy has a nephew who works for a production company. Ha? What do you say to that?

Her voice was excitedly victorious, but Luke knew better than to think something good might come from that. The way things have been going, the only position the company might have open would be a janitor or something.

I say good for him, mumbled Luke and started hating the guy just for working there.

And for you, Luke. Mrs. Levy and I talked about him the other day – pure coincidence, may I say, she giggled to emphasize the fact she was on a serious, overly dedicated job-hunt for her loser son twenty-four seven. I mentioned you were working with those toys of yours and guess what?!

They must have had a similar conversation at least a hundred times before, but this one seemed a bit more promising. Which surely meant that it was going to be an even bigger disappointment, eventually.

What? he sighed and hoped his voice wouldn’t reveal the mild interest he was starting to feel.

She happened to know they were starting a new show and looking for all kinds of profiles. Cameramen included.

No way. No way this was going to work. No way his mother was able to get him the job interview he was trying to get for so long. He scratched his head, regretting the amounts of alcohol still flowing through his veins, turning his thoughts into a useless mush and preventing anything reasonable to enter his brain.

Really? he mumbled through a mixture of slight disbelief and strong headache. And what kind of a show is this supposed to be?

Luke didn’t want to act doubtful but he must have sounded like there was something he didn’t want to say to her, because his mother’s voice went through the roof.

Does it matter, Luke? Does it really matter what kind of a show it’s going to be? Sure, it won’t be your music videos and all the other nonsense you’ve been daydreaming about since you were six and giving me headache with it, but does it really matter? Listen, it’s high time you start doing something with your life, and from what I’ve seen so far, this is by far the best chance you’ve ever gotten, young man.

Don’t call me that, his voice got louder despite of the pain wanting to push his eyeballs out of his head.

You are lucky I don’t call you a little boy, because you sure are one, she hit back.

That was it. Another round of their fights began, the crossfire of their senseless accusations, and Luke was slowly but surely diving deeper and deeper into a state of rage which no one and nothing but his mother could cause. It was always the same. He told himself a million times that it was stupid to let her constant reproaches get to him, but he obviously couldn’t help it. They just soared right through his mind and pissed him off. At least that’s what he preferred to believe. It was much easier and much less painful to think he was angry than to think he was hurt.

It had all started a couple of years ago. Luke had just finished college and decided not to work in his father’s company, which completely astonished everyone in their family. However, their shock was no surprise to Luke, who had always, ever since he was a little kid, felt that the relation between him and the rest of the family was not particularly close or especially loving. It was always him against everyone else, which was sometimes liberating and usually lonely, but after college, things got really difficult to manage. His passion for filming, cameras, and all things connected became the laughingstock of his father, who insisted that Luke should start a decent job, create a decent family, and die of boredom, his mother, who insisted that Luke should stay at home so she could nurse him to death (or until some other woman came and started appropriate nursing herself), his brother, who insisted that Luke should start a life exactly like his, and the rest of the family, who thought that Luke was just another one of those rebels without a cause. And he wasn’t, not at all. He just wasn’t prepared to conform to other people’s rules, that was all.

Mom, he started serenely and decidedly when she had to pause for air. Mom, listen, I don’t want to go through all this again. I just asked what kind of a show this company was going to start, that’s all. I don’t want to fight with you again, okay?

I’m sorry, honey, the voice on the other side apologized and surprised the hell out of him. I don’t want to fight, either. So should I tell you more about this, or not?

Sure, he nodded and took a sip of the boiling hot coffee. Tell me everything you know.

He sat down on one of the high chairs in the kitchen and leaned on the counter, cup in one hand and phone in the other, listening to his mom going on and on about this lucky coincidence and telling him nothing new. She didn’t know what kind of a show this was supposed to be, but she did, however, tell him that he should expect a phone call from Mrs. Levy’s nephew, and instructed him on how to behave, what to say, and when to speak. As he was listening to his mom, he could also hear the sounds coming from the bathroom, and he couldn’t make himself not want to kick his own ass for getting into this kind of situation. Again.

Call me as soon as you get the call, okay, honey?

Luke heard his mom’s wish to talk some more, but he also heard the bathroom door open, so he quickly said his, Bye, Mom, and hung up.

Another disaster was on her way.

CHAPTER II

Luke sank a tiny bit deeper into the thick, muddy mess that was his screwed-up life.

Bright blue eyes were observing him across the counter and making him feel as if someone was scientifically studying his every move. He wasn’t going to give into her little plan and ask why she was looking at him the way she was, so he silently sipped his coffee and tried not to reveal how uncomfortable her eyes were making him feel.

Why are you so strange, Luke? she finally asked.

I’m just being myself. I can’t help it if that’s strange.

Don’t be such a smartass, Luke. Why did you invite me over if you didn’t want me here?

A tear or two gleamed in her eyes. Were they real or just an act? Were they simply a way to make him feel bad about the situation? If that was what they were about, they weren’t necessary at all. He was already feeling like a real jerk, especially for not being able to answer her question. How could he know why he invited her over, when he didn’t even remember inviting her?

Oh, Sonia, he sighed and got up to get some more coffee. What do you want me to say?

I don’t want you to say anything. I would simply appreciate it if you didn’t behave like such a moron.

He smiled his cruel, nasty smile and sat down with a cup of fresh coffee.

And I would appreciate it if you told me what it is that makes me such a moron in your eyes. Is it something I do? Is it something I say?

He could see the resentment grow in her eyes. Oh, yes, he could make her furious in a heartbeat.

No, she stood up. I think it’s just who you really are that is so moronic. Next time you get a restless dick syndrome, please, don’t call me, okay?

She almost ran past him, and Luke, just as softhearted and shitty as ever, immediately felt he had to do something to take the edge off his words.

Hey, he started after her and reached her just before she reached the door.

Sorry, Sonia, you were right, I was a complete moron. It’s just that … It’s just this hangover and my mum … it’s everything today, and I’m taking it out on you. Sorry.

What are you sorry about? I mean, really? I don’t understand you at all anymore. One moment you’re acting like the biggest idiot I’ve ever met, and then you’re all different the next. I can’t figure you out and I’m really getting tired of all this. Why did you call me last night?

They were still standing by the door and the way things were going, it was more than possible she would storm out of the apartment sooner or later.

I don’t know, he shrugged his shoulders. I guess I just wanted to see you.

Well, guess what I think.

Enlighten me.

You needed someone to fuck, that’s all.

I don’t think so, he grinned wickedly. I obviously wanted all the drama you always make about everything.

She grabbed the doorknob, burst out of the apartment, and slammed the door behind her with a sound which exploded in his head. Great. It had been going on for months now, and the mixture of guilty conscience and confusion was killing him. She kept clinging on to the times when things between them were … different. Better. When he was different and better. She kept clinging to the memories from the time before the accident, refusing to accept the fact that he had returned a changed man. But then again, how could she have understood that he was trying so hard to persuade her, his family, his friends, and most of all himself that he was just the same as always. He couldn’t admit he had changed. He didn’t dare. It seemed convincing himself, along with the world, that he had always been this way was by far the best option.

It was around noon, which meant he could still get some sleep before work, but Luke gave up the idea of getting the needed rest after about half an hour of restless tossing, turning and trying not to sense the smell of his castaway lover. He got up, took off the bedding, threw it into the washing machine, and took a shower. He didn’t want to think about the night before, but the blurred images of his friends, some women he didn’t know, and Sonia kept reappearing over and over again, causing him to smile one second and scowl the next.

No matter how much he hated the idea of his mother being right about anything, especially anything connected to him, there was no denying that she was. His life as it was seemed to be going nowhere, and he felt it every day. Actually, he felt it every second of the day, because he was far, really, really far from being anything even remotely resembling happy. Except for the rare moments when he had the opportunity to do what he’d been dying to do for his entire life, he was getting more and more miserable and empty and … lost. Yeah, he definitely felt lost. No wonder his mother said he was a little boy because that was exactly what he was. A little boy in a grown man’s body, struggling to lead a grown man’s life and making one mistake after another.

All of the goals he had had a couple of years ago were getting more and more out of reach, all of the dreams he had had were getting more and more distant, and all of the happiness he was able to feel not so long ago was turning into a highly unpleasant emptiness which had been successfully transforming him into a person he didn’t like all that much. He desperately needed something powerful in his life, something that could charge him with new energy and provide him with the zeal he was lacking. He needed something more powerful than what had been destroying him for the past few months.

Most of the people who knew him would surely say that he had a tendency to be reckless and careless, but he wasn’t like that at all. He was just too proud to show he was everything but what they thought he was; and besides, letting others believe what they want to believe is the easiest thing in the world. So his silly, childish and yet women-attracting image of a tough, rebellious guy was actually not so bad at all. Luke could say and do whatever he wanted and be forgiven just like that, on account of being himself. And who in their right mind would want to refuse such an opportunity when their life was falling apart and scaring the hell out of them?

The cool water from the shower did him good, but he still felt like a piece of crap and when he saw his image in the in-shower mirror, he saw that his face revealed everything he didn’t want to admit to himself. He was fed up with everything. He was fed up with his friends always doing the same things, going after the same kind of chicks, drinking in the same bars, eating in the same diners, and most of all, he was fed up with himself for always doing the exact same things. True, this was a pretty lame morning with every possible thing that was difficult to deal with piling atop one another and making him much more unsated than usual, but the truth was that even if his mother hadn’t called, the combination of the hangover and Sonia’s presence would have been more than enough to make him seriously concerned about his life. For a guy who didn’t want problems he was incredibly efficient in creating them.

Something caught his attention and Luke turned off the water to listen to the silence of the apartment. The phone was ringing. Could it be the guy his mom had been talking about? Could it really be him? The last thing Luke needed right now was to get his hopes up just to be disappointed again, but as he got out of the shower and reached for a towel, not feeling the damn excitement wasn’t an option anymore. This was another one of the numerous and highly annoying side effects of his mom’s trying to get him a job. Whenever he actually started getting excited, one thing or another went wrong and nothing good ever came out of it. Ever.

He rushed into the kitchen, checked the screen and saw the exciting flash of a number he didn’t know.

Okay, here goes, he said out loud so the sound of his voice would calm his nerves, and produced a funny sounding, expectedly official, Hello?

Hi, am I talking to Luke?

This was strange. He was expecting a man’s voice, because his mom was talking about a guy, but this was definitely a woman. A woman who sounded just as nervous as he was feeling.

Yes, he nodded, this is he. Was there any way to sound even stupider than he managed to sound right now?

Hi, it’s Julie. From last night.

Oh, shit.

Julie? he checked with a voice which revealed every single shade of his uncertainty and surprise. He really was a shithead, obviously.

Yeah, we met last night. At El Chupacabra, remember?

Actually, he couldn’t even remember being at El Chupacabra.

Sure, yeah, of course I remember, he stuttered, hating himself and his stupidity.

He must have sounded terribly unsure because she started to explain, and Luke just couldn’t listen to what she was saying. He honestly couldn’t care about a woman that was desperate enough to call a guy she had met the night before in a club and then even explain the idiotic particulars of their meeting because he suffered from a serious case of alcohol-induced amnesia.

Huh, listen, Julie, I’m sorry, but …

The silence was so intense he could feel her embarrassment almost as much as he could feel his own.

Oh, sorry, the unknown voice lingered. I didn’t want to … You gave me your number and told me to call you and I thought … I thought, why not? Well, sorry, really.

Don’t worry about it. I’m the one who should be sorry, and I am. Which was true. He was sorry and embarrassed and sick of himself.

Well, okay then.

Yeah, bye. Sorry again.

Oh, it’s okay. Bye.

One of the most trying and embarrassing conversations he had ever had was finished, and Luke was feeling even worse than before. What the hell happened last night? A part of him wanted to call one of his friends and try to figure out the previous night’s scenario, but the other part cowardly suggested that the best thing to do was to simply act as if nothing special had happened. He went out, got drunk, flirted with some chicks, called Sonia, and that was all there was to it. The I’m-so-not-vulnerable-and-such-a-cool-guy attitude which was getting on his nerves more and more prevailed again, and Luke sank a tiny bit deeper into the thick, muddy mess which was his screwed-up life.

CHAPTER III

It is going to change you completely and tear you from the life you’ve known and lived by now.

What is it, man? Don’t tell me it’s fucker’s remorse, grinned Steak, when Luke handed him the beers across the bar.

I don’t have time to entertain you with everything that’s happened today, right now, said Luke, gave him the check, and took his money.

Just tell me you’re okay, man. You look like shit.

Luke tried to laugh. And I feel like it, too, he mumbled so silently he wasn’t even sure Steak could hear him. I’m fine, he added quickly. Got to work.

Steak started working his way through the crowd, his hands overladen with bottles, and Luke had to smile after him. If the afternoon phone conversation with the guy from the studios was as serious as it seemed, his life just might change considerably, and the only person he would miss in this case would be his best friend Steak.

From the moment Luke had come to work a couple of hours earlier, the thought of his friend was making him uneasy. So much had happened that day, so many things had fallen so heavily on his heart, it actually felt hard to breathe. The excitement over a pretty high possibility of getting a job was breathtaking itself, but the possibility of having to travel for longer periods of time was even more stirring.

Do you think you could define the term ‘longer periods of time’? asked Luke.

Tom, who was obviously the nephew that mom had been talking about, took a second to think about the answer. Two, three months, I guess. It all depends on the way things go, he didn’t give an exact answer.

And another problem was these ‘things’ that this Tom guy was talking about.

I’m still not sure what the show is going to be about, Luke tried for the hundredth time, and Tom’s answer was no more revealing than any of the previous explanations on the uncertain topic.

Oh, I suggest that we talk about the particulars tomorrow, if you agree. Is two o’clock okay with you?

How could he not have agreed?

The meeting was set for two o’clock the next day and before Luke had the chance (or better yet, the will) to call his mother and tell her the good news, she called him. Upset and talking nonsense. Demanding that he not go to the job interview in case they actually invite him.

Too late for that now, Mom. I’m meeting this guy tomorrow. And, correct me if I’m wrong, but weren’t you the one who called me today all excited and thrilled over the achievement of finally persuading someone decent to give your no-good son a chance?

Don’t be sarcastic with me, Luke. I never said you were no good. Besides, that was before.

Before what?

He heard the stalling in her voice and rolled his eyes. It was hilarious how well he knew her and how much she tried to trick him into believing he didn’t know her at all.

You know Mel, the woman I see now and then?

Your psychic? Luke grinned.

She’s not my psychic, she replied patiently. She’s my consultant.

Luke had to laugh out loud.

Yeah, your psychic consultant, he teased.

Well, some of us believe in something more than beer and whiskey, you know?

Oh, this wasn’t the day for reproaches on the subject.

You’re not talking to Dad now, so please, spare me, okay? I’m not my father.

He regretted it the moment he said it, but his mom took the punch in the face and continued as if he hadn’t said something only the biggest asshole would.

She warned me about you, Luke.

Oh, Mom, come on, he started objecting immediately, but she wouldn’t give in.

She told me that you were going to get an offer you won’t be able to refuse. Was she right?

You probably told her you were expecting it as soon as you laid eyes on her, so … as usual … she was just twisting your own words and playing games with your head.

I hadn’t even mentioned your name until she had.

Even if you hadn’t, Mom. She knows how obsessed you are with getting me a job and everything, so she probably made a successful deduction on the grounds of your exceptionally high spirits. She is very intelligent, you know. I never said she wasn’t.

Anyway, his mother wouldn’t allow him the benefit of a doubt, she warned me about this offer. She said that it was going to change you completely and tear you from the life you’ve known and lived by now.

I thought this was precisely what you’ve been hoping for, he laughed, but she was completely serious.

Mel said she could sense something dark and periculous coming your way. Something, she said, she had never sensed before.

Maybe it was the hangover she was sensing, he grinned to himself.

Periculous? he checked, honestly wondering about the psychic’s word choice. Like being shipwrecked on a remote island full of dreadful, biblical monsters?

Were there any monsters in the Bible?

How should I know? he laughed and made her laugh as well.

So, will you simply say you can’t take the job, and forget about it? she tried again, so obviously counting on his affection it was almost funny.

No, Mom, you know I won’t.

Oh, why do you have to be so stubborn? I believe Mel, I trust her with all my heart, and I always consult her about every important decision I have to make, so, please, please, just say you won’t take the job and let’s all forget about it.

She sounded really freaked out, but Luke couldn’t take her seriously.

Mom, this job seems to be by far the very best opportunity I’ve had in a long time, he sounded annoyingly patronizing, but relievingly firm. Maybe it’s even the best opportunity I’ve ever had and I’ll be eternally thankful to you if it actually works out. There is no way I’d give it up on account of some psychic saying crazy stuff just because they sound cool and mysterious.

Luke, think about it, I’m begging you. You can’t wave it off just like that, you can’t, it’s too serious.

She really pushed hard – she tried begging, demanding, trickery, guilt, and all the rest of the usual mother’s means of getting her children to do what she wants, but he was impossible to move and she had to give up eventually.

Okay, honey, I know it seems strange and I don’t want to pressure you, just promise me you’ll be extra careful. And if you feel anything strange, anything at all, just turn around and walk away. Can you promise me you’ll do that?

Sure, he mumbled, completely unsure of what was going on, and completely stunned because of the fear in his mother’s voice.

I’m serious, Luke, she repeated. If there’s anything, I mean anything that seems off, don’t do it.

There was nothing left for him to do but to agree with what she was saying, and try to finish the conversation as quickly and with as little troublesome consequences as possible. However, he kept thinking about his mother’s strange behavior and