The Velvet Paw of Asquith Novels Series

Consider a world inhabited with only cats and dogs: a society recognizable as our own, but with its eccentricities being the norm, rather than the exception. A world where the charm of Kenneth Grahame’s Wind In the Willows meets the exotic world of Ian Fleming’s Bond. A world where fluffy just got dangerous. These are the Velvet Paw of Asquith Novels, also known as the Dooven Books: welcome to the genre of New Fable. “Attempting to eradicate an entire city’s council before hurling oneself off a cliff is odd behavior for anyone, let alone the daughter of a police chief. Nor is it helped by a determination to graffiti mis-spelt words with appalling grammar in her own manure. Politely, Oscar pointed this out to her. So she punched him and pushed him off his stool.” Oscar Teabag-Dooven is a highly trained secret agent who is convinced he’s no more than a poet. Unable to do much more than rhyme one lot of words with another, his attempts at foiling the world’s villains are, at best, tenuous. When assigned to determine the cause of brewing tensions in the exclusive seaside city of Ruen, he discovers it’s on the brink of tearing itself apart. Things become complicated when it appears those responsible are in charge of running the place. Drawn into a scandalous plot of insanity and greed, Oscar befriends the Dervy, a young revolutionary, by throwing her off a cliff, and Horace, an elderly doctor with a phobia of worming ointments. Together they battle the ruthless genius of Sedervitz Tappen-Noo and the grievous insanity of the Pyjami, in an attempt to save a beautiful city from certain destruction. But things don’t go according to plan. Principally because they don’t have one.

In which bedlam threatens to envelope the world, unless Oscar Tebag-Dooven can do something about it, which he’s willing to consider, providing it involves an enormous breakfast first. When the palace of Arabesque’s aide de camp, a cat named the Tremblees, stumbles upon a translation of an ancient language that reveals the existence of a fabled stone, he vows to find it for reasons of greed and vengeance. With a dead dog stuck to a car bonnet, a blind bus driver and an enormous number of olives, it becomes a race for Oscar, his colleague Meesha and the Tieress of Arabesque to prevent the Tremblees plunging Arabesque back into the Era of Bedlam, a horror that plagued the land a thousand years ago. “Corfield blurs the boundary between rubbish and garbage, and does justice to neither.” - Aiden White, Barrington Points Lighthouse Keeper. “A two-in-the-morning page turner, but only because each one’s so hard to get through.” - Pannel Norbit, Curator of Exotic Fungal Infections. “A two-in-the-morning page turner, but only because each one’s so hard to get through.” – Pannel Norbit, Curator of Exotic Fungal Infections.

In which Oscar Teabag-Dooven battles a misguided echelon of authoritative animals to save a beautiful city from certain destruction. When assigned to determine the cause of brewing tensions in the exclusive seaside city of Ruen, Oscar Teabag-Dooven discovers it’s on the brink of tearing itself apart. Things become complicated when it appears those responsible are in charge of running the place. Drawn into a scandalous plot of insanity and greed, Oscar befriends the Dervy, a young revolutionary, by throwing her off a cliff, and Horace, an elderly doctor with a phobia of worming ointments. Together they battle Sedervitz Tappen-Noo and the Pyjami, in an attempt to save a beautiful city from certain destruction. Things don’t go according to plan, however, because they don’t have one. “Good writing can only take you so far. These books take you considerably further, and then leave you behind.” - Daniella Dragosi, Unimpressed. “I recall finding my divorce papers a more compelling read.” - Russell Piorre, Divorced.

In which the world’s governments are threatened by a fanatical cat with a disturbing cushion obsession. When Oscar Teabag-Dooven stumbles across an arrogant bard named the Dodosette and the beautiful cat Vaasi-Vee, he unearths a plot to plunge the world into darkness. After some begging, lots of snow and an industrial vat of soup, the three animals argue all the way to the infamous land of Vra to do something about it. They did not, however, anticipate having to fight invisible Rottweilers, smash kitchens to pieces, lick frozen cars or fund taxi drivers’ sisters' eye operations. But for Oscar Teabag-Dooven, such things are n’t unusual. Except, perhaps, the bit about licking cars. “Corfield keeps you guessing until the end, and then for some time afterwards.” - Nathan Fueruer, Uninsurable. “These books are like a bad meal: in poor taste and unfinished.” - Oleg Vanastanovitski, Russian Mafia Hitman (unconvicted).