One Hundred Even More Gloriouser Jokes
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About this ebook
This is a compilation of one hundred (generally inoffensive) jokes, some short, some long. Each joke is given a title and is numbered, and there is a list of the jokes by title and a list by number.
They vary in length - from very short (a couple of lines) to fairly long (more than a couple of lines).
After the main body of jokes there is a section which explains each one for readers who might not have fully understood the joke.
This could be useful for readers who are not native speakers of English - or even readers from other parts of the English-speaking world where the humour (or humor) of some jokes may be incomprehensible or opaque or even missing.
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Book preview
One Hundred Even More Gloriouser Jokes - Ebenezer Jackson-Firefly
One Hundred Even More Gloriouser Jokes
By Ebenezer Jackson-Firefly
Copyright 2015 Ebenezer Jackson-Firefly
Smashwords Edition
Text of cover: One Hundred Even More Gloriouser Jokes / illur (Breton) / loriatsu (Basque) / gloraj (Esperanto) glorioso (Portuguese) / strålende (Norwegian) / славный (Russian) / славний (Ukrainian) / slavno (Slovene) / gloriós (Catalan) / gogoneddus (Welsh) / glórmhar (Irish) / gloryus (Cornish) / gloyroil (Manx) / glòrmhor (Scottish Gaelic) / glorieux (French) / heerlijk (Dutch) / herrlich (German) / (Eb Jay-Bee, lexicographer) / Gloriouser and gloriouser, even if I say so myself ((Eb Jay-Bee, a renowned writer of joke books) / The Glorious Revolution was an event in the history of England and Scotland in 1688 (Eb Jay-Bee, historian) / Ebenezer Jackson-Firefly alias Eb Jay-Bee / The author would like to thank a tomato, a carrot, two button mushrooms and a blanket for their collaboration in the production of this cover
This book should not really be copied as Mr. Jackson-Firefly is living in dire poverty, subsisting on a crust of stale bread and two cups of sugarless and milkless tea a day. Having made a thorough assessment of his dire-straitedness he has come to the conclusion that it might be better if the book were purchased rather than be copied and freely distributed via various electronic and radiophonic routes. He might thus be able to have a second crust of stale bread each day, and another cup of tea. We appreciate your collaboration with Mr. Jackson-Firefly's gruelling campaign to bring poor unfunny jokes, which have been overlooked, ignored and reviled for so long, to the attention of the world at long last.
The Editor.
Here is a link to a page with more information about our joke books – if anybody has bothered to keep it up to date and has not forgotten to pay the monthly fee to the company hosting the website.
http://www.livroy_kimkat.org
LIST OF CONTENTS
1. CONTENTS: JOKES BY TITLE (6% of the book)
2. CONTENTS: JOKES 2301-2400 ACCORDING TO NUMBER (6% of the book)
3. INTRODUCTION (1% of the book)
The jokes begin here:
4. ONE HUNDRED JOKES (70% of the book)
5. DON’T GET IT? THE JOKES EXPLAINED (20% of the book)
And here the list of contents ends!
Disclaimer: we cannot guarantee that all the jokes are funny.
Second disclaimer: In fact, we cannot guarantee that ANY of the jokes are funny.
Polite notice: Please do not get lost navigating through this e-book. We are afraid we cannot help you if you lose your bearings. If you DO get lost, try and make your way back to the beginning of this book.
1. CONTENTS: JOKES BY TITLE
A REMARKABLE INVENTOR x2315x
ASKING FOR A BOOK IN THE LIBRARY x2385x
ASKING FOR A PINT x2318x
AT THE BARBER'S x2311x
BACK AT MIDNIGHT x2308x
BARKING x2325x
BAROQUE MUSIC x2314x
BUYING CHOCOLATE x2344x
CHANGING CAPTIONS x2329x
CROSSING THE ROAD IN THE WRONG PLACE x2306x
DAILY ROBBERY x2358x
DIVINE STATUS x2331x
DR SAMUEL JOHNSON x2342x
EVERY MORNING FOR AN HOUR x2388x
FLOAT OR SINK x2396x
GOING OUT FOR THE NIGHT x2317x
GYM CLASSES x2398x
HE WHO CASTS THE FIRST STONE x2365x
HOW TO PRAY x2303x
HUNGRY IN THE DESERT x2383x
I’M WELSH x2367 x
LEVITATION x2356x
LIE DOWN ON THE COUCH x2359x
LIONS IN THE PARK x2380x
MOTORISTS VERSUS CYCLISTS x2320x
MRS EVANS NEXT DOOR x2361x
MY LIFE HAS CHANGED x2362x
NEO-LATIN x2309x
NUISANCE CALLS x2332x
ON A CRUISE x2395x
PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE x2323x
READING THE INSTRUCTIONS x2350x
SCHOOL TOMORROW x2301 x
SEND HER IN x2343x
SHARING A CAKE x2336x
SOMNATH x2321x
SPEAKING TO THE EARTHLINGS x2371x
SPEAKING YOUR MIND x2334x
SPELLING THE NAME OF THE TOWN x2384x
STOP FIGHTING x2392x
THE ALIEN LANDING x2370x
THE ANCIENT PUB x2340x
THE APPENDIX x2382x
THE ARREST WARRANT x2377x
THE ASSOCIATION OF EMPLOYEES x2304x
THE BARS x2397x
THE BIG HOLE x2387x
THE BOSS AND THE NEW EMPLOYEE x2364x
THE BROKEN-DOWN CAR x2335x
THE BULL IN THE FIELD x2352x
THE CHEMISTRY CLASS x2363x
THE CHICKEN AND THE ROAD x2345x
THE CIRCUS ACTS x2351x
THE COST OF A WEDDING SERVICE x2302x
THE DEFEAT x2366x
THE EMPTY PETROL TANK x2374x
THE ESCAPE FROM THE ZOO x2347x
THE FATHER AND THE HOMEWORK x2307x
THE FIRE ALARM x2360x
THE FLYING SAUCER x2369x
THE GAMBLING BUTCHER x2376x
THE GOLDFISH x2346x
THE GREEDY PIG x2353x
THE HIRING POLICY x2373x
THE INCIDENT IN THE SCHOOL x2389x
THE INTERVIEW FOR THE ACCOUNTANCY DEPARTMENT x2386x
THE JAM-PACKED RAILWAY CARRIAGE x2324x
THE JOKE ABOUT THE ENGLISH x2393x
THE JUDGE AND THE PATHOLOGIST x2390x
THE LOAN x2316x
THE MAGAZINES x2357x
THE MAN GETTING A HAIRCUT x2394x
THE MAN IN THE MOON x2312x
THE MAN WITH THE FLOWER POT ON HIS HEAD x2326x
THE MEANING OF DREAMS x2391x
THE MOTHER x2349x
THE NEW ACCOUNTANT x2337x
THE PORK PIE x2375x
THE RICH MAYOR x2305x
THE RUDE PARROT x2338x
THE TALKING HORSE x2341x
THE TALKING POODLE x2330x
THE TEACHER AND HER HUSBAND x2399x
THE THREE HITS x2354x
THE TRAIL x2319x
THE TROMBONE PLAYER x2400x
THE TWO DOGS x2372x
THE TWO PIGEONS x2348x
THE UNITED NATIONS ROUND TABLE x2378x
THE VICAR AND THE NAKED LADIES x2328x
THE VICAR IN THE LIONS' DEN x2327x
THE VILLAGE POLICEMAN x2310x
THE WIG x2313x
THE WOMAN'S DIET x2322x
TWO GREAT STORIES x2379x
VICAR IMPERSONATION x2333x
WHAT DID YOU GET FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY? x2381x
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF ME? x2368x
WHERE'S YOUR HOMEWORK? x2355x
WINDOW SHOPPING x2339
2. CONTENTS: JOKES 2301-2400 ACCORDING TO NUMBER
x2301x SCHOOL TOMORROW
x2302x THE COST OF A WEDDING SERVICE
x2303x HOW TO PRAY
x2304x THE ASSOCIATION OF EMPLOYEES
x2305x THE RICH MAYOR
x2306x CROSSING THE ROAD IN THE WRONG PLACE
x2307x THE FATHER AND THE HOMEWORK
x2308x BACK AT MIDNIGHT
x2309x NEO-LATIN
x2310x THE VILLAGE POLICEMAN
x2311x AT THE BARBER'S
x2312x THE MAN IN THE MOON
x2313x THE WIG
x2314x BAROQUE MUSIC
x2315x A REMARKABLE INVENTOR
x2316x THE LOAN
x2317x GOING OUT FOR THE NIGHT
x2318x ASKING FOR A PINT
x2319x THE TRAIL
x2320x MOTORISTS VERSUS CYCLISTS
x2321x SOMNATH
x2322x THE WOMAN'S DIET
x2323x PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE
x2324x THE JAM-PACKED RAILWAY CARRIAGE
x2325x BARKING
x2326x THE MAN WITH THE FLOWER POT ON HIS HEAD
x2327x THE VICAR IN THE LIONS' DEN
x2328x THE VICAR AND THE NAKED LADIES
x2329x CHANGING CAPTIONS
x2330x THE TALKING POODLE
x2331x DIVINE STATUS
x2332x NUISANCE CALLS
x2333x VICAR IMPERSONATION
x2334x SPEAKING YOUR MIND
x2335x THE BROKEN-DOWN CAR
x2336x SHARING A CAKE
x2337x THE NEW ACCOUNTANT
x2338x THE RUDE PARROT
x2339x WINDOW SHOPPING
x2340x THE ANCIENT PUB
x2341x THE TALKING HORSE
x2342x DR SAMUEL JOHNSON
x2343x SEND HER IN
x2344x BUYING CHOCOLATE
x2345x THE CHICKEN AND THE ROAD
x2346x THE GOLDFISH
x2347x THE ESCAPE FROM THE ZOO
x2348x THE TWO