Everything is Something's Food
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About this ebook
To be clear this is not a novel or book of short stories. It is a collection of 185 of my old song lyrics. I'm not a lyrical genius. I've been in a lot of bands since 1988, however, and I'm a fair songwriter. To make this whole exercise somewhat less lame, I've de-lyricised the songs somewhat. I took out the repeated choruses and the "Oooh-oooh tra-la-la [handclap]" backing vocals stuff since there's little in life more tedious than reading that with a straight face. So here you are. Not poems, at least not written that way, just some songs. Enjoy. UPDATE: This revised edition contains added lyrics and poems from old notes I dug up, plus several new poems I've continued to write since this was first put together.
Randall Schanze
Randall Schanze is a Science Fiction author and blogger from Florida. He's the child of a NASA engineer and an immigrant, and has had a life-long fascination with space and exotic cultures. He's wild-eyed, engaging, chatty, smart, interested in nearly everything, and hence almost instantly annoying in person. Just the same, his writing has been praised by several well-respected professional SF authors. His first love is Science Fiction, and he's been writing for 30 years, though much of that time was spent writing under various pseudonyms. The most noteworthy of these was "Kevin Long," a name he used to publish four books. For half a decade he was the head writer and editor on the Republibot website but he has since retired. During that period, he went by the nom de web "Republibot 3.0" in a paranoid bid to protect his identity from his stalkers, though obvious since he's using his real name now, he's gotten more laid back about the whole thing. He's middle aged, happily married, and has a family. He also sings.
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Everything is Something's Food - Randall Schanze
Everything Is Something's Food
by Randall Schanze
Copyright © 2012, 2018 by Randall Schanze, All Rights Reserved
Smashwords ISBN: 978-1311721464
Smashwords Edition, License Statement
This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each reader. If you're reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
Introduction
I'm not a lyrical genius.
I've been in a lot of bands since 1988, however, and I'm a fair songwriter. I'd grade most of my stuff B
or C.
I have my A
moments, and there's plenty sub-F
efforts. I'll spare you those.
It never would have occurred to me to print up my lyrics in book form. That's something pretentious people do with poems, and I'm nowhere near arrogant enough to assume my goofy verse is poetry, though occasionally, rarely, I come close. Very rarely.
A week or so after publishing my third book (It's Not Rocket Science
) my tech/editor friend sent me an e-mail saying I've got your next book all ready to go. It's called 'The Complete Lyrics of Randall Schanze.' I'm just joking of course, but maybe I'm not. Look through the attached file and let me know what you think.
(I paraphrase a bit.) The file was an archive of song lyrics I'd sent him over the last half decade or so.
My initial reaction was Oh, come on!
The more he talked about it, however, the more I warmed to the idea. As he explained it, a lot of these songs were really old–some dating back to the '80s–most never recorded, some only played live a few times, a few never made it out of rehearsals. The majority are forgotten or only half-remembered in the drug-addled minds of some of our (and less frequently my
) fans. Dave, my buddy, explained that putting 'em out there in book form would give all this stuff a life beyond a file on his computer and some dusty notebooks in my garage. Also, it would copyright everything all at once, so that was a bonus.
To make this whole exercise somewhat less lame, I've de-lyricised the songs somewhat. I left in one chorus per song, and took out the repeats unless there was a specific reason to do so, and I took out the music notes and the Oooh-oooh tra-la-la [handclap]
backing vocals stuff since there's little in life more difficult than reading that with a straight face.
So here you are.
UPDATE: This revised edition contains added lyrics and poems from old notes I dug up, plus several new poems I've continued to write since this was first put together. There is no table contents, there's just too many, but it's still in (mostly) alphabetical order, including ones that start with The or just an A, which is usually not the case when sorting, but it was easier that way. One exception is two versions of a poem that are meant to go together, but were separated in the first version, which was confusing.
A Kind of Time Travel
(7/3/08)
He hears Come on, Eileen
and cringes
It's played just far too many times
That all it evoked for him unhinges
Less meaning than clanging chimes
It's never about the music
Nor about the scene
He hears Eddie Rabbit
And thinks of 8th grade in Oldsmar
Mobile homes the school inhabited.
Simpler times by far.
It's not about the fashions
Or what the lyrics mean
He hears The Cars
And remembers walking in the back yard,
That fat chick dragging him off to the bars
But loses the as his thoughts are jarred
It's not about the songs
Whether profane or sublime
And late at night he hears The Fixx
He went to Wednesday night service to be near her
She hit him like a ton of bricks
Though he loved her, she never did quite concur
It's never about the music
Nor about the scene
Nor the fashions
Or what the lyrics mean
It's not about the songs
Whether profane or sublime
In the end it's all about
Anchoring yourself in time.
A People Person
(6/27/08)
He likes coffee
Though he never mentioned it
Till after he was dead
When they finally got him
They set up a pike
For his meticulously coiffed head
And he laughs when you say he's a monster
In a demeanor that's disarmingly snappy
He'll confess to your friends
That in the end,
He just wanted to make people happy
He had it coming
His life caused the death
Of fifty billion or more
He lost his family
Which still doesn't justify
Volunteering for all the shadows had in store
Then it ended
Not just for that once
But for all time
And that moment
When his fake smile finally cracked
Was kinda sublime
And he laughs when you say he's a monster
In a way that borders on sappy
He'll confess to the gambling buddy of
His only friend that
He just wanted to make people happy
A Pointless Experiment
(6/20/08)
New Port Richey
I thought I would write a song in Esperanto.
It was just a little experiment to see how it would go.
It should not be too hard because as everyone knows, every noun ends in an O
.
Every person, place, or thing, whether it crawl, dance or sing, they all end in an O
in Esperanto.
Professor Zamenhoff had a good idea,
(By which I mean pointless and useless and asinine)
To create a new language for no good reason.
But that does not mean it was not worth trying.
I do not speak the language, but that is just fine.
I can push around syllables and make them rhyme with an online translator in my own good time.
Sencela Eksperimento
Mi pensis Min ..us kompon kanton en Esperanto.
Tio nur estas malgranda eksperimento
Vidi kiel estus iri. (ĝi) ne devus esti tro
Malfacila ĉar kiel ĉiuj scias, ĉiu substantivo fin en O
.
Ĉiu persono, loko, aŭ afero, kastrita virŝafo
Gi ramp, danco aŭ kant, ili ĉiuj ..n finis O
En Esperanto.
Profesoro Zamenhoff havis bonan ideon,
(Per kiu tio estas sencela kaj senutila kaj assinine)
Al kre nova lingvo sen pravigebla motivo. Sed tio
Ne signifas ĝin ne estis merit provanta. Mi ne paroli la lingvon, sed tio
Estas ĵus bona. mi povas puŝi ĉirkaŭ silaboj kaj ..ig
Ilin rimo kun enreta tradukisto
En mia propra bona tempo.
A Safe Kind of Fear
I remember all of those bombs
Always pointed at my head
The paranoia of knowing that
Three hundred million people wanted me dead
But I felt safe,
Yeah, I felt safer then
Soviet trawlers in the Gulf of Mexico
I'd see them three miles out from the beach
Praying for that Ragnarok
That would forever remain out of reach
It was a good life
It was better then
I, I remember
Walking by the Berlin Wall
At the Hard Rock Cafe in Orlando
By the Eternal Flame
That didn't burn for long
I miss the Cold War
It was a safe kind of fear
I miss the Cold War
I ain't felt safe since then.
A Small Price for Immortality
(8/7/16)
I been saving my hair clippings for your witchcraft
I think I've got a pound or two
If you want fingernail clippings or jars of urine
I can help you out there, too
My friends have all learned not to raid my fridge
I think it's kinda funny
So if you'd like some of my special that's-not-lemonade
I won't charge you very much money
Cuz I been thinkin' bout the great hereafter
And it doesn't seem so very long
Til the here and now becomes the bye-and-bye
And I'm not sure if it's right or wrong
So if you want to peek into outer darkness
I'm interested in what you may find
And though I'm not about to do it for myself
I'll gladly facilitate you and your kind
Black candles, chalk and goat's blood
You don't need to pay retail price
The baby's teeth are over by the big knives
And the alligator wine is very nice
If you somehow swing resurrection of the dead
Could you ask them some questions for me?
But when you dig a grave to put him back down
Experience says You'd better dig two or three
After you're done flying on your broomstick
Just remember to tell me what you see
And if it happens that you end up damned, well
That's a small price for immortality
No, I'm not going to risk my soul on this crap
But if you wanna try, please feel free
I only want your money and some feedback
That's a small price for immortality
A Southerner's Formal, if Wrongheaded, Apology
(7/4/08)
I'd like to formally apologize
For my people and myself
For treatin' y'all as wealth
And puttin' our morals on the shelf
Because I don't really know if anyone else has
At least not in this way
If we can hold the past at bay
Build something that'll stay
So if you can forgive us, that'd mean a lot
I won't ask you to forget
We ain't earned that yet
And I could be all wet
But I don't think I'm alone when I say lately
Things been goin' wrong
For just a little bit too long
But I want you along
As equal partners in whatever it is
The future has in store
It won't be like before
Forget the days of yore
'Cuz I miss when Petty would sing Rebels
And my black friends would sing along
Sing it loud and sing it strong
'Cuz that's a helluva song
You're our brothers, our partner, our allies
And we need you these days
A new future we will blaze
As we beat up on the gays…
A Very Strange Kind of Gay
(6/25/09)
He had one who claimed she slept with Elvis
Two who did Simon Le Bon
Three who nailed Mister Chris Isaac
And that Galactica actress who had that Eagle named Don
He's obviously heterosexual
He brags about it every day
But his odd quest to go where specific men have gone before
Strikes me as a very strange kind of gay.
There were four who made it with Rod Stewart
Five for both Kid and Play
Six who did Nikki Sixx
And the one who did George Michael before he went gay
He says everybody has their hobbies
He says the girls talk a lot about the old days
Undeniably he gets a lot of great looking women, but it still
Strikes