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    One Hundred Super-Duper Jokes
    One Hundred Super-Duper Jokes
    One Hundred Super-Duper Jokes
    Ebook95 pages1 hour

    One Hundred Super-Duper Jokes

    By Ebenezer Jackson-Firefly

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    About this ebook

    This is a compilation of one hundred (generally inoffensive) jokes, some short, some long. Each joke is given a title and is numbered, and there is a list of the jokes by title and a list by number.
    They vary in length - from very short (a couple of lines) to fairly long (more than a couple of lines).
    After the main body of jokes there is a section which explains each one for readers who might not have fully understood the joke.
    This could be useful for readers who are not native speakers of English - or even readers from other parts of the English-speaking world where the humour (or humor) of some jokes may be incomprehensible or opaque or even missing.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherEbenezer Jackson-Firefly
    Release dateJan 2, 2016
    ISBN9781310468681
    One Hundred Super-Duper Jokes

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      Book preview

      One Hundred Super-Duper Jokes - Ebenezer Jackson-Firefly

      One Hundred Super-Duper Jokes

      By Ebenezer Jackson-Firefly

      Copyright 2015 Ebenezer Jackson-Firefly

      Smashwords Edition

      COPYRIGHT: This volume that you have before you, whether electronically or on paper, has been penned by the leading penman and author Mr. Ebenezer Jackson-Firefly, by the light of a flickering candle in his dark and gloomy home.

      The author – the said Ebenezer – has asked for any potential readers to buy his book with money of some sort instead of downloading for free from the many illegal Jackson-Firefly websites. .

      This is because he needs the cash.

      ONE HUNDRED SUPER-DUPER JOKES / SUPER! / READERS’ COMMENTS / Deeply disturbing (A PSYCHIATRIST) / Wondrously wrought (A VICAR) / Wonderfully writ (A LAWYER) / Expertly writed (A MAN WHO DOESN’T LIKE IRREGULAR VERBS) / It be wondersome (A WEST-COUNTRY PERSON) / !repud-repuS (WOMAN WHO SPEAKS BACK TO FRONT) / DUPER! / Why isn’t it in CYRILLIC script? (SAINT CYRILAND SAINT METHODUS) / Deeply disturbing (THE SAME PSYCHIATRIST GIVING A SECOND OPINION) / A super-duper book! (EBENEZER JACKSON-FIREFLY) (no relation to the author) / Kial ne ésta skribita en esperánton? Why isn’t it written in Esperanto? (LUDWIG LAZARUS ZAMENHOF) / Front-cover text: Ebenezer Jackson-Firefly / Buy this book. You won’t regret it. (E. J-F.)

      LIST OF CONTENTS

      1. INTRODUCTION

      2. CONTENTS: JOKES BY TITLE

      3. CONTENTS: JOKES 2401-2500 ACCORDING TO REFERENCE NUMBER

      The jokes begin here:

      4. ONE HUNDRED JOKES

      5. DON’T GET IT? THE JOKES EXPLAINED

      This is the Introduction to this book of jokes. We have helpfully called it ‘Introduction’, as you might see if you continue reading. We could have called it the ‘Prologue’ but we didn’t.

      1. INTRODUCTION

      This is the twenty-fifth compendium of jokes from the obscure collector of jokes Ebenezer Jackson-Firefly, Esquire. (His real name, he claims, is Aethelraed Unraed Jackson-Firefly, after a distant ancestor who was king of England for around thirty-eight years from the year 978).

      He has taken his pseudonymic first name from another distant ancestor, the Bibilical prophet Ebenezer, challenging the affirmation in the Book of Samuel that Eben-Ezer (from Hebrew Even Ha'Ezer, literally ‘stone of help’) is the name of a place which was the scene of battles between the Israelites and Philistines.

      A scroll bought from an American genealogical website certifies that the Jackson-Firefly family is first noted in Greece in the time of Homer, around 850 BC. The family motto, as all students of Latin will be aware, is ‘Luciola Omnia Vincit’ (the firefly conquers all),

      According to Wikipedia, the world’s best joke in 2015 was one of Jackson-Firefly’s. [Corrector’s note: no such reference found in Wikipedia. Please elucidate]. A man called Cosmo [Corrector’s note: fuller indenfication needed] trips over a paving stone in the street [Corrector’s note: please specify which street] and is taken to hospital [Corrector’s note: please specify which hospital] by ambulance [Corrector’s note: please state registration number of said ambulance and name of the driver ]. He says to the nurses on his arrival I see you were expecting me. This is very gratifying, and I appreciate this great welcome you have prepared for me. However, Cosmo is spelt with a ‘c’, not an ‘n’!

      The joke was voted best joke of the year by the Society of Great Jokes (founded in 2015 by E. J-F.), The Society for Great Jokes (founded in 2015 by E. J-F.), and The Great Jokes Society (founded in 2015 by E. J-F.) – a triple accolade! [Corrector’s note: no evidence of these societies found. Please give more details].

      The Rev. Jackson-Firefly (as he was called by the Anglican Church and his parishioners when he was mistakenly given charge of three churches in rural Somerset for ten years, although never ordained and not of a religious persuasion) is now engaged on a new concise yet comprehensive compilation of little stories with a humorous content. Mr Jackson-Firefly has given the name ‘joke’ to such a story. His new volume uses this word of his own coining – it is ‘One Hundred Insane Jokes’.

      As this book is number 25, the next one ought to be number 26. But it isn’t. ‘One Hundred Insane Jokes’ will be number 16 [Corrector’s note: what on earth is going on? Please explain].

      The author of jokes has told me that he’s engaged on writing his first novel, a tale of Sir Horatio Porridge of Slush Hall, private detective. Who murdered his butler, Barnaby Pendrive? He has hit on an ingenious way of determining who is the perpetrator of the horrible deed. The suspects are all brought together in the main drawing room of Slush Hall. To his surprise, Horatio Porrdige discovers that the murderer is none other than himself, and that he has murdered all his previous butlers. (Anybody who intends to read the book should forget the dénouement and in this way the ending will be a something of a shock.)

      The film rights are available for a modest 500,000 pounds. Amateur damatic societies may perform the play for a similar figure.

      The character of Horatio Porridge is based on the author himself, though he wishes to make clear that he has never had any butler, and if he has had, and he was murdered, the butler certainly wasn’t murdered by him.

      I’ve been instructed by the author to ‘bulk out’ the book and give it ‘added value’ by mentioning these ideas and contemplations of Mr jackson-Firefly, and to speak of his myriad achievements in various fields. Even if nobody cares to read any of his books, I believe the introductions could be put together to create a comprehensive biography of the famed jokesmith, and this surely would have great appeal for the segment of the public able to read books. In other words, it will be a sure bestseller even though the joke books have had only moderate success (May 2012 to date [December 2015] – twenty books published, zero sold.)

      When it seemed that all was lost as he sank deeper and deeper into the arms of Lady Debt, a month ago Ebenezer had a stroke of fortune.

      Lady Luck will always smile on fortitude, and mental strength in the face of adversity is a prominent trait of the author. Just as it seemed that he was way beyond his lost penny, an interesting offer reached him on his computer screen. A certain ‘Josehp Smiht’ (an unusual name, but somehow pleasant to the eye) wrote him this message: ‘You win Irish Swepstake and it is prize to you. Total exact 532,000 dollar. We send money on recipe of administration fee

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