Loves of Our Lives: A Novel

Author

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

I would like to thank Holly Gotell for introducing me to the work of Dr. Brian Weiss. Reading about the continuation of the soul, and the ability to tap into past lives through regression therapy completely changed my outlook on life.

And to Ross Kennedy, you have encouraged me every step of the way to fulfill this dream of writing and publishing a book. Thank you for believing in me!

Chapter 1

Late September 2012, Calgary, Alberta

Katie settled herself in the seat on the train. Ah, the end of another week at work, time to relax and enjoy the ride home. She glanced at the people around her, nodding to those who were regulars. She reached into her briefcase and pulled out her favorite novel, Pride and Prejudice, by Jane Austen.

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.

How she loved the rhythm of the words. The feelings of the period Austen invoked felt so familiar to Katie. She chuckled; perhaps she had lived in that time period. Isn’t that what Dr. Weiss talked about in his books about past life regressions? We have lived many times in the past, so maybe she had lived in England in the early 1800s.

Thoughts of Dr. Weiss inevitably led to thoughts of Maria, her best and oldest friend, who had introduced her to his work. How well she remembered the first time, about six months ago, that Maria had broached the subject of past lives with her.

So, Katie, I’ve just been reading a new spirituality book. It’s got an interesting premise to it that I think you may find intriguing.

Yeah? Who is this one by? I know you’ve been reading a lot while you’re at chemo.

Yeah, this one was recommended by another patient. The author is Dr. Brian Weiss. He’s a psychiatrist who now uses past life regression therapy to help cure his patients of phobias and other psychiatric issues.

Past life regression therapy? What the heck is that?

Well, according to Dr. Weiss, he induces hypnosis in patients, and then has them embark on a voyage into a past lifetime when a trauma occurred that has caused an issue that the soul is manifesting today, like a fear of water or fire. Many times a person with a fear of water actually drowned in a past life.

Past life? What are you talking about?

Well, you know that some of the books I’ve been reading are about the soul. And that really this body is just one of many that our soul inhabits through the years of its existence.

You’ve mentioned that before, but frankly I haven’t paid much attention to it.

"I know you’re skeptical. Would you do me a favor and read Dr. Weiss, especially starting with Many Lives, Many Masters? It’s his first book and really goes through his own growth period of coming to understand that the hypnosis work he was doing with one patient was really past life therapy. I really think it will give you a different perspective on our own existence."

I’ll think about it.

Katie had picked up that first book of Dr. Weiss’s. From the first read she had been intrigued. His theory was truly interesting. She had followed that first book with some online research into the whole concept of past lives and soul continuance. Her interest was engaged by the research. It was a new way of looking at the world around her. She was finding all of this new spirituality work quite fascinating and knew she was only touching the tip of the iceberg. She had recently picked up another Dr. Weiss book and was starting to read it. She sighed; she really did need to go spend some time with Maria this weekend. She hadn’t sounded great when Katie spoke to her earlier in the week. The chemo treatments seemed to be taking a greater toll on her this time around. Katie shook off thoughts of Maria’s struggle with cancer and slowly turned back to her book.

Twenty minutes later, the train stopping broke through her absorption. Another two stations to go and she would be at her car for the short drive home. She started to think about what she had in the fridge and cupboard, trying to come up with ideas for dinner. Her husband, Ward, was due home from his weeklong business trip tonight and would be looking for a good home-cooked meal.

It would be so good to see Ward. He had left midday on Sunday for his trip to the conference. They had spoken every day, but she really wanted to touch him and see his face. She missed him when he was gone on these trips, but luckily they only happened four to five times a year. The train started to move again, so she went back to her book.

Another fifteen minutes and she was at her stop. As she gathered up her briefcase and stepped into the aisle, she collided with another passenger.

Sorry.

Sorry, he said.

They looked at each other and chuckled at the dueling sorrys. How typically Canadian.

Go ahead, he said. I trust you’re okay?

I’m fine; I didn’t even look as I stepped out. I’m usually the only one getting off at this stop.

Yeah, I just moved to the area and tried the train for the first time today. Have a good weekend.

You too, she said, and stood back as he preceded her off the train. She was struck by his good looks and how polite he seemed to be.

She headed off to her car to get herself home and start on dinner. Slowly backing up from the parking spot and into the traffic lane, she inched her way with the other cars to the stoplight at the intersection of the road. After a quick left and short trip down the road, she pulled in at the condo.

She stopped to get the mail on her way up. Ward’s parking spot was empty, so she had some time to sort through the mail, tidy up the bedroom, and get changed. She dropped the mail on the table and glanced around the kitchen and living room. Everything looked orderly.

Twenty minutes later, she was in the kitchen going through the cupboards and fridge. The phone rang, and she saw Ward’s number.

Hi, hon, how are you? You back in town?

Hi, love. Yes, just landed. Should be outta the airport in a half hour and home within the hour, depending on traffic.

Okay. Thai sound good for dinner tonight?

Yeah, it does. See you in about an hour.

Okay, love you. See you soon.

She put down the phone and went back to the kitchen. A glass of wine would be a great way to end the long week. She pulled out a bottle of white and opened it. She poured herself a glass and settled to work in the kitchen getting everything ready for dinner.

After she finished prepping, Katie went to her office to get her computer from her bag and get it set up. She had a lot of work to do this weekend, so it was best to have the computer ready to go, and then she could work away a little at a time when she could. That completed, she settled into her easy chair, put on some soothing music, and pulled out the Dr. Weiss book, Messages from the Masters. She loved his work and was glad Maria had insisted she read his books. She was intrigued by Dr. Weiss’s information and was wondering what it would be like to do past life regressions. Katie thought to herself, what a great way to relax after a week at work—wine, music, and a good book. She settled in and waited for Ward to arrive.

The next morning, Katie woke up and glanced out the window. The sun was slowly staining the skies with a pale glow. It showed the promise of all-day sunshine. She rolled over to cuddle with Ward, but he was not to be found; he had already gotten up. She glanced at the clock to find it was close to eight; time to get up and moving. She had promised to go visit Maria at ten this morning. They were going to discuss Dr. Weiss, his books, and his theories about past lives. Maria was fascinated by his theories and wanted to go visit a local therapist who specialized in past life regressions, in order to confirm her own growing belief that she had lived past lives. According to the reincarnation theories, our soul is on a journey of learning from the day we arrive on this earth. Our current body is nothing more than a shell that the soul enters in order to learn and grow. Once the lesson from this form is learned, we pass on, and reincarnate at a later date in order to continue to learn. At some point the soul no longer needs a physical presence to learn and becomes an Ascended Master.

Katie nestled in bed for a few more minutes, savoring the feeling. She thought back over the prior evening, a smile on her face. Ward had actually arrived within forty-five minutes of his call, so she had only just gotten started on her book. He said traffic had been really good. She suspected he had pushed the limits a bit to get home. He had no more than walked in the door, dropped his cases, and reached for her for a long, welcome-home kiss. She chuckled as she remembered she had purposely set dinner up so it could be a quick heat and eat, figuring they might not be eating right after he got home.

Sure enough, the kiss had quickly turned passionate. He had torn off his overcoat, jacket, and tie and was reaching to pull her close to him, all in one motion.

Come on, he said. I haven’t had you in bed in a week. I need to make love to you now.

Me too. I don’t like it when you’re away. I need to feel you moving inside me.

They had run to the bedroom, giggling like teenagers. That had soon ceased as he picked her up and tossed her on the bed. Their clothes quickly fell over the side. He then bent over and savored the feeling of her breasts, slowly caressing them, and then taking the bud of a nipple into his mouth, gently nibbling away. Her passion quickly soared to meet his. She, as always, was desperate to feel him moving inside her, so she reached out to caress him and tightened her grip around him. He understood her need and, pulling himself off her breast, had thrust inside her in one smooth motion. Her body still tingled, remembering the passion they had shared.

Shaking off the memories of the night, she slid her legs over the side of the bed and admired the view. The condo was a penthouse unit on the west side of town and looked out over the mountains. This early in the morning they were just visible, the sun glinting off their snowy tops. It was always such a peaceful view for her, especially in the fall when the snow was just starting to appear on the tops of the mountains. They stood clear and tall in the distance. They would really have to venture out to them soon, before the snow became too heavy, to enjoy one last deep breath of the mountain air before the winter really took hold.

She could smell the coffee brewing in the kitchen. Ward must’ve put it on when he got up. He would be down in the gym, getting a workout after being stuck in the conference all week. He had said last night that he felt the need for a good, long swim and maybe a run later on. She didn’t like to run but did enjoy swimming when she could. The condo’s facilities were awesome for that.

The condo itself was great. It was just less than twelve hundred square feet with one bedroom and a combined living and dining room area. There was also a small study and a solarium, which was essentially an enclosed balcony. The kitchen was a good size and fully upgraded with stainless steel appliances and granite counters. There was wood flooring everywhere except the bathroom and bedroom. The only drawback was the one bathroom. Newly married, they had agreed they didn’t want to have any lawn to cut or outdoor maintenance to do. The view of the mountains was exactly what they both wanted. It was also incredibly convenient for both of their offices, as it was ten minutes for both of them. The attached amenities had also been a selling feature. But since that time, she had changed jobs to a downtown location so her commute was just over an hour door-to-door. Ward worked in the same office he had been in since he graduated.

However, she was starting to think about selling the condo and moving to a house with a real backyard. She wanted some outdoor space. But she knew Ward wouldn’t want to give up the pool and gym. Still, it wasn’t the place to raise kids. Enough, she thought; her logical side knew that staying in the condo was the right call but still a small part of her wanted more. But it was time to get started on her day.

Thirty minutes later, showered and dressed, Katie headed to the kitchen for coffee and breakfast. Ward was still not back from the gym, so he must’ve decided on a whirlpool and sauna as well. She would have to clean up the dishes from last night and get something out of the freezer to start to plan for dinner. She was thinking a meatloaf would be nice. Ward could fend for himself for lunch, since she didn’t know when she would be back from Maria’s, nor what his plans were for the day.

She still had time to get about an hour of work in before leaving to see Maria. She winced when she remembered Ward’s reaction last night to her plans to see Maria this morning. Maria and Ward had never really seen eye to eye, so Katie kept them apart as much as she could. It hurt that her husband, whom she loved with all her heart, and her best friend, dearer than a sister, were at odds with each other.

She settled at her desk in the solarium; it was small, but afforded a great view of the mountains. It was the busiest time of the year for her at work, getting the budgets done for the next fiscal year. The fiscal year didn’t start until April 1, but they had to start on the work now, with so many approvals required.

She was really proud of how hard she had worked to get her accounting designation, and now that work was paying off. She had a job she loved that challenged her to grow and think. This downtown job was way better than the administrative job she had left. When she had first graduated from university, she had wanted to find a nice job that would pay the bills and allow her to enjoy life. But she had soon found herself bored. She had quickly realized that she wanted more challenges at work, and the only way to get that was to complete her accounting designation and get a job downtown. Her business degree from the university gave her most of her credits, and she only needed to complete a few courses to finalize her designation. This had taken a few years to complete, and then she had gone searching for a good opportunity downtown. This current job had come her way eighteen months ago. It was with the same bank that she had worked at all along, but in the central administrative offices. She liked the challenge it represented, and the opportunities to grow were unlimited. Her boss had encouraged her right from the start to expand her horizons and look for other challenges right in the company. She loved the work. The only problem was that Ward complained about her not being home when he got home. He had become used to her being there when he arrived and dinner on the table shortly thereafter. It was an adjustment they both had to make.

An hour later, she glanced at the clock on her laptop and realized she needed to finish up and set off for Maria’s. As she saved and closed her work, she heard the key in the lock; Ward was finally back from the gym.

Hon, I’m back; time for a shower. It’s a beautiful day. We should head out to the mountains for the afternoon.

I told you I was going over to Maria’s today. We’re going to talk about the things she’s investigating about past lives and old souls.

Oh, I thought you were joking about that last night. Ward privately felt that the studies Katie was embarking on were romantic foolishness. Really there was no such thing as past lives or other nonsense. You live once, and if you did good deeds, you went to heaven. That was the extent of it. Really, past lives? There’s no such thing, and anyone who believes in that is pretty gullible. But this is Maria we’re talking about; she’s not exactly the brightest penny in the pot. I remember when she was so convinced she had seen a UFO and it turned out to be weather balloons. She is so gullible, so it’s hardly surprising. I mean she believes Atlantis is real. What a crock. Come on, it’s a beautiful day and we should enjoy it before winter comes. And I just got home from traveling. I’ll only be twenty minutes in the shower. We can be in Canmore before noon.

Exasperated she said, I told you about this long ago. I can’t back out now, regardless of how good the weather is. This is important to Maria, and you know she’s not doing well. I have to go. We can go to the mountains tomorrow. The weather is supposed to be just as good.

Oh, whatever, suit yourself...you usually do when it comes to Maria. But I just got back from a week away. I would’ve thought that spending time with me would be a priority. And with that he stormed off to the bedroom, slammed the door, and headed to the shower.

Katie was still disappointed in Ward’s attitude twenty minutes later as she pulled into Maria’s driveway. What crap from him. He had known about her plans this morning for a few weeks. His last-minute trip out of town had been a bit out of the norm, but it shouldn’t force her to change her plans for today. Besides, the mountains would be there tomorrow for them to enjoy.

She turned off the car and sat for a few minutes trying to calm her breathing. It really hurt that Ward had no interest in the past-lives studies she was doing, or for that matter any of the new spiritual things she was experimenting with, like meditation. As far as he was concerned, it was all wasted time. She knew he pretty much thought it was foolish nonsense, but she was becoming convinced there was far more to life than what was lived by most. She really had to get herself centered. Maria would know in an instant that she had been at odds with Ward, and she didn’t want to discuss it with her. It was inevitable that Maria would blame Ward completely for being too stubborn to see what was before him.

She took a few deep breaths as she did when preparing to meditate; slowly in and slowly out, clearing her mind of all thoughts. She sought the center of her peace and calmness. Within a few breaths she was feeling calmer. A couple more centering thoughts and she felt much better.

She climbed out of the car and grabbed her knapsack with the Dr. Weiss books in it. She had just picked up two copies of Only Love is Real. She and Maria had wanted to start that one now, having already read Many Lives, Many Masters. That particular book had a profound effect on her, as Maria had hoped it would. The whole concept of past lives and how they can impact your current life had been eye-opening for her. The style of Dr. Weiss’s writings really spoke to her, as many others had not. For some reason she couldn’t explain, she just connected to his works and understood his message in ways that hadn’t happened with other authors on similar topics. Perhaps it was that he revealed his own struggles with the past life concepts when he first encountered them and how gradually his own skepticism fell away.

Maria opened the door before she even got all the way up the steps. Did you get the book? Were you able to find it?

Katie pulled a copy of the book from her knapsack and showed it to Maria. Yup, managed to find two copies of it as well, so we can each have one.

"Yeah! I’m so glad you were able to find it. There are benefits to having you work downtown, with access to those bigger stores."

They both chuckled over her comment. It had long been a discussion between them about the newfound freedom Katie had being downtown. She was discovering new things about herself in the fast-paced and exciting downtown environment.

Come inside, I’ve been looking forward to seeing you all week. I’m so glad that nothing prevented you from coming.

Well, I wasn’t going to renege on my promise to you. I said I would be here, and so I am. Katie looked carefully at Maria and noted the pallor of her skin and the bags under her eyes that denoted a lack of sleep. Tell me truthfully, how are you doing?

This round of chemo has been a bit harder than the last couple. I seem to be weak and sick for a longer period between each treatment. I believe they’re considering spacing them out a little more so I can recover better. But, I’m confident that I will beat it again this time.

I know you will. You’re strong and determined, and that will see you through all of this. Let’s grab a coffee and sit and enjoy a long talk this morning. I can only stay until noonish unfortunately. I’ve a lot of work I need to get done this weekend, and Ward and I are planning a trip to the mountains tomorrow. We want to get there before winter makes it difficult to get deep into the hills.

Okay, I’m disappointed you can’t stay all day, but I do tire easily right now, so it’s probably for the best. I’ve got the fire going. Let’s curl up in front of it and just enjoy the morning.

CHAPTER 2

The weekend flew by, and here it was Monday morning again. Katie was back sitting on the train heading into downtown for work. She glanced around at the others traveling in the compartment. She nodded to the frequent travelers. She also noticed the guy from Friday sitting a couple of blocks down, facing her direction. He smiled at her and nodded a good morning. She noticed how his blue eyes seemed to shine in his face. They were attractive for sure. She nodded back and mouthed good morning to him as well. Hmm. Good-looking guy for sure. He had light brown hair and a small, neat goatee enhancing his strong jawline, and he obviously kept it well groomed. There was a touch of gray at his temples, making him look distinguished. No gray in the goatee, at least that she could see from this distance. His blue eyes sparkled with intelligence. She recalled that he had been a bit taller than her but not over six feet as Ward was. The first impression she had of him from Friday was definitely being borne out. Good-looking, polished, and polite.

She finished looking around and sat back contemplating the weekend. When she had left Maria’s, she could tell how tired Maria was. Although she tried to hide it, it was obvious that the chemo treatments were really taking a toll. She wasn’t as convinced as Maria that the treatments were helping this time. But then again, Maria was always trying to hide her true condition from everyone.