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    In Sheep's Clothing: Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People
    In Sheep's Clothing: Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People
    In Sheep's Clothing: Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People
    Ebook164 pages2 hours

    In Sheep's Clothing: Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People

    By George K. Simon

    4/5

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    About this ebook

    Dr. George Simon knows how people push your buttons.  Your children--especially teens--are expert at it, as is your mate.  A co-worker may quietly undermine your efforts while professing to be helpful, or your boss may prey on your weaknesses.  Manipulative people have two goals: to win and to look good doing it.  Often those they abuse are only vaguely aware of what is happening to them.  In this eye-opening book, you'll also discover...

    * 4 reasons why victims have a hard time leaving abusive relationships

    * Power tactics manipulators use to push their own agendas and justify their behavior

    *Ways to redefine the rules of engagement between you and an abuser

    * How to spot potential weaknesses in your character that can set you up for manipulation.

    * 12 tools for personal empowerment to help you maintain greater strength in all relationships

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherParkhurst Brothers Publishers Inc
    Release dateApr 1, 2010
    ISBN9781935166313
    In Sheep's Clothing: Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People

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    Reviews for In Sheep's Clothing

    4/5

    78 ratings12 reviews

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    • 3/5
      This book covers a gambit of methods that people use to manipulate others. Some specific case studies are included that are instructive. The discussion is largely intellectual although the author becomes philosophical at the end of the book by closing with some unrealistic expectations of social evolution. I liked the book, since it makes you think about you own interactions with others.
    • 4/5
      The chief thing that Simon's book does for the reader is to tell them to go with their gut. And that is not insignificant, for the aiders and abettors of manipulative people are legion. It is, after all, so much simpler to tell the less aggressive person to placate the aggressor than to support them in dealing with the aggressor. I spend much of my childhood and youth being confused as people told me the he/she is nice or means well or can't help being a little rude and I should be more understanding / compromising / patient. Yet I knew in my heart that something was wrong here, and that he/she wasn't really a good person, though it was hard to express.Actually, I got my first insight from Agatha Christie's The Mirror Crack'd in which the solution turns on the distinction between being kind and being considerate. And that was someone who was relatively well-meaning, if self-absorbed. Self-absorbed and not well-meaning is worse.Simon refers to the manipulative as covert-aggressive people and limns various types. He considers them to be character-disordered for whom winning is all, rather than neurotic; neurotic people mostly cause trouble mostly for themselves. He explains their tactics, and the weaknesses in other people that they exploit. Simon thinks that psychologists often undercut the victim of manipulation by treating the manipulator as a troubled person needing help rather than helping the victim protect themselves. As Simon points out, one can only control one's own behavior: if the manipulator has issues and problems, he/she will have to deal with them.The book doesn't contain specific strategies for dealing with the manipulator, rather it focusses on telling the victim how to recognize the behavior, how they may be enabling the person, and not allow themselves to be distracted by guilt-tripping, pleas for sympathy, and other tactics.
    • 5/5
      This book gave me the strength to take my agency back. Thankyou.
    • 5/5
      An excellent, excellent book on how to identify and deal with the people who can most mess up your life - the covert-aggressive people.
    • 4/5
      Exclent BooK But Very short In Methods In Dealing With dilfcult Personality
    • 3/5
      Summary

      The book is an operating manual for folks who might find themselves dealing with a covert aggressive personality type.

      Liked

      Differentiation of neurotic vs character sufficiency spectrum

      Didn't vilify the character difficient beyond pointing out that the may be mal adapted to current societal trends

      Could be improved

      The book has a tone that was a little too pleased with homself. It would have been better if there had been more links to further reading and other related areas of research.

      Stories were a bit one sided and too smooth. When people then use the stories to justify the conclusions I think the final ideas suffer for that. Perhaps include a more detailed version of case studies in an appendix.

      There's a social agenda woven into the book as well. Not sure what I think about that.

      Highlight

      Don't make the mistake of assuming everyone's basically the same on the inside.
    • 4/5
      It's certainly eye-opening to think of people sometimes being purposefully and willfully hurtful. It's a 180 from constantly thinking that people are "just hurting" or whatever. To start thinking about what people want out of a situation can bring a lot more clarity.

      1 person found this helpful

    • 3/5
      I started reading this book as research, but found validation for some hard decisions I've made this year - little did I know but I was dealing with covert aggression tactics. While I did not find the examples particularly interesting, the explanations of the different tactics that emotionally manipulative people use was very helpful and interesting. The style was easy to read as well and was not full of indecipherable medical jargon. I would recommend it as a good introduction to dealing with manipulative people.

      1 person found this helpful

    • 3/5
      This was interesting enough information but a very dry listen.

      1 person found this helpful

    • 4/5
      I think we all have to deal with at least one toxic manipulative person at some point in our lives; it might be a parent, a spouse, a boss, a co-worker, or even a child. In my case, I grew up with a master manipulator for a father. And now I work with someone who, although not nearly in the league of my father, is still a fairly good manipulator.I think the best thing about this book is that it does encourage you to go with your gut. I've been told by everyone that "K" is going through a hard time, that she doesn't MEAN to be so cruel and hateful, etc, etc. But I couldn't shake the feeling in my gut that K, no matter the circumstances, is just a manipulator, and she's using people around us. After reading this book, I definitely feel much more validated in my assessment of her personality, especially since the list of manipulative behaviors fit her to a tee. I could give multiple examples for each one.I do wish that this book gave you more ideas on how to deal with the manipulators. There is a chapter at the end of the book that lists some coping strategies, but I feel like it's just not enough. Most of them deal with changing your own behavior and reactions, which does make sense, since you'll never be able to "force" a manipulator to change their own ways. I'm planning on utilizing those that I can to see if it makes a difference in my interactions with my coworker.

      1 person found this helpful

    • 5/5
      Clear, on point informations about agressive personalities. An eye-opener for the softer souls of this world.

      1 person found this helpful

    • 4/5
      The chief thing that Simon's book does for the reader is to tell them to go with their gut. And that is not insignificant, for the aiders and abettors of manipulative people are legion. It is, after all, so much simpler to tell the less aggressive person to placate the aggressor than to support them in dealing with the aggressor. I spend much of my childhood and youth being confused as people told me the he/she is nice or means well or can't help being a little rude and I should be more understanding / compromising / patient. Yet I knew in my heart that something was wrong here, and that he/she wasn't really a good person, though it was hard to express.Actually, I got my first insight from Agatha Christie's The Mirror Crack'd in which the solution turns on the distinction between being kind and being considerate. And that was someone who was relatively well-meaning, if self-absorbed. Self-absorbed and not well-meaning is worse.Simon refers to the manipulative as covert-aggressive people and limns various types. He considers them to be character-disordered for whom winning is all, rather than neurotic; neurotic people mostly cause trouble mostly for themselves. He explains their tactics, and the weaknesses in other people that they exploit. Simon thinks that psychologists often undercut the victim of manipulation by treating the manipulator as a troubled person needing help rather than helping the victim protect themselves. As Simon points out, one can only control one's own behavior: if the manipulator has issues and problems, he/she will have to deal with them.The book doesn't contain specific strategies for dealing with the manipulator, rather it focusses on telling the victim how to recognize the behavior, how they may be enabling the person, and not allow themselves to be distracted by guilt-tripping, pleas for sympathy, and other tactics.

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    In Sheep's Clothing - George K. Simon

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