Marker of Hope

My body ached, pleading, screaming, then recoiling in shame and panic from thoughts that shouldn’t have a place in my mind. I was afraid of not being able to control the longing for raw flesh—the need to savor warm blood. Though I tried to control it, my willpower grew weaker each day.

I should’ve died six weeks ago. Instead, I was home in suburban Los Fresnos, Texas, trying to ignore the beating of the pulse in Claire’s neck. Claire—my poor, clueless mother—dawdled by my bedroom door, unaware that if I gave into the demands of the beast inside me, I could wipeout the town’s entire population. And right now, with the hunger raging in me, a feast of five thousands humans would be a dream come true. My mouth watered.

Stop it! I reprimanded myself, then flinched at the gruesome thought.

Are you getting out of bed today? Claire asked.

I turned my body away from her and faced the window.

This isn’t healthy, Isis. She opened the curtains, sunlight blinding me for a second, and then put a hand on her hip and looked down at me. Why won’t you talk to me?

I didn’t answer.

Look, honey, I get it, okay? I know you think it’s the end of the world, but there are other boys out there. She waited for my answer. Isis, are you listening to me?

I closed my eyes and pulled a blanket over my head.

Fine. Stay there—hidden from the world. But I have news for you. The world isn’t waiting for you to be ready to face it again. Life goes on. You better start figuring out what you’re going to do with the rest of yours.

I already knew what I had to do, but I didn’t know how to do it—how to save mankind, how to tame the monster inside me. The thought of me being a heroine was laughable and ridiculous. I didn’t know how to fight. It was a miracle I was still breathing.

She’s awake, I heard Claire say. See if you can get her to shower, would you?

I’ll try. No guarantees, I heard Andy’s voice. She yanked the blankets off me. You heard your mom. Get up.

She may be stuck to the bed by now. How long has it been since you touched a drop of water, Isis? Claire shook her head at me. Seriously, shower. Make an effort at life, if not for yourself, for me, your worried-sick mother. She waited for my reaction, but I stared past her. What will it take to get one word out of you? I shrugged. She glanced at Andy. See what I mean? I sent her off to Greece a nice girl, and she came back a little monster.

I chuckled at the accuracy in her statement.

What are you laughing at? She frowned at me as her cell phone rang. She fished the phone out of her pocket and looked at the screen. Crap. It’s the office. I’m late. She gave me a pointed stare. If you’re not showered by the time I get back, I’m going to hose you off in the backyard. And I’m not kidding this time.

Claire walked out of the bedroom, and Andy closed the door behind her. I was relieved she was gone. Not because I wanted Claire to leave, but because I didn’t have to fight the monster in me from harming her. I loved Claire, and I wished I could go back to being as I was before when I didn’t have to hold my breath every time she was near. And today, with Andy visiting, the scent of two people, of that much human flesh confined in one room, was tough to resist.

It’s not your mom’s fault your boyfriend broke up with you, you know? Andy said. She was right, but I didn’t feel like talking about it. When I didn’t respond, she changed the subject. I’m surprised your new B.F.F. isn’t here. Did she move in, yet, or…?

Why don’t you like Galilea?

I never said I didn’t like her. Not that it matters if I do. She’s your friend, not mine. She sat on the bed. I’m amazed at how fast your hair is growing back. It’s past your chin. I still can’t believe you shaved it off. Is your mom still mad about it?

Yeah.

I’d lied to everyone about what happened to my hair. I couldn’t exactly tell them I’d shed my skin like a snake.

You should get out of bed, stinky. Andy pulled my arm. C’mon. My parents are driving me up to Baylor tomorrow, and I want to spend today with you.

I sat up and rested my back against the headboard. That’s tomorrow? Already?

Yup. What about you? Have you submitted college applications for the spring semester? I shook my head, and Andy cocked her brow. Are you planning to?

I couldn’t look at her in the eye when I answered, Eventually.

You’re lying, she said. But… Whatever. So can we go out somewhere—and have a little fun? We could have breakfast at the new coffee shop over by—

Can’t we just hang out here? I don’t feel great. That wasn’t a lie. My head throbbed and the nausea worsening. I didn’t know when the mutation sickness—that’s what Dr. Gunn called it—would go away. We could watch a movie.

On second thought, maybe I should just go. Andy rose from the bed.

You’re abandoning me because I don’t want to go out?

No. I’m leaving because you look like you’re about to throw up. Andy wrinkled her nose. Maybe you should see a doctor.

Yeah, I said. Maybe I should. I couldn’t recall how long it’d been since I’d been in contact with Dr. Gunn and his doctor wife, Eileen.

Besides, if you’re contagious, I don’t want to catch it.

I wish it was just a virus. I snorted, and she gave me a weird look. Before she could question me, I asked, Are you packed and ready to go be a college kid?

I think so. She stopped to think for a moment. No, yeah, I am. But I still have some things to do before I leave, including saying good-bye to Bill. He doesn’t leave for Austin until next week.

That’s great, I said. I’m happy for both of you.

All my friends were leaving to become doctors, engineers, teachers… I was becoming something too—a monster. Quite the accomplishment, Isis. I mentally punched myself on the arm. Way to go, me.

Hey, if you feel better later, call me. I’ll come over. Otherwise, I’ll see you in three months?

Okay. I’m gonna miss you.

I’ll miss you, too. Andy reached over and hugged me. Love you, bestie.

Love you, too. I pulled away from her embrace when I felt the intense starvation scrambling, trying to find freedom—trying to make me take a taste of my best friend.

Hurry up and get better. She paused. I know you don’t want to hear this, but it’s time to get over him, Isis. She squeezed my hand. Look at what you’re doing to your mom. To yourself. I’m not trying to be mean, but girl, you look awful. I hate seeing you like this. But more than that, I hate leaving you like this. Promise me you’ll get better.

I’m trying, I said.

Good. It’s a start. She hugged me one more time. Don’t bother getting up. I’ll let myself out.

Andy paused at the door and gave me a sad smile. She turned the knob and walked out.

I thought she’d never leave. Galilea appeared out of thin air. She closed the bedroom door. Do you know how hard it is for me to cry without hiccupping? That was, like, brutal bestie emotions all over the place. She plopped down on the bed next to me. "Oh, I got your… thing. She dropped a paper bag on my lap. And you know what? I’m really bummed. I can’t believe Andy doesn’t like me. I mean, what’s not to like? I’m irresistible. Name one person who doesn’t like me."

I can name six.

"Rude."

You need to stop listening in on my conversations.

Galilea took the paper bag and pushed it against my chest. That’ll happen when you stop keeping secrets from me.

You’re worse than my mom. I slid off the bed, paper sack and cell phone in hand, and headed to the bathroom.

My knees were weak. My stomach churned. I dumped the contents of the sack on the vanity. I studied it, afraid to even touch it. After a few minutes, I picked it up and followed the instructions printed on the package. I waited, leaning against the wall. Breathing in slow, deep breaths, I looked at the time on my phone. I took a step toward the vanity. Hesitated. Took another two steps. I forced myself to look down at the counter. There was a tiny pink cross where I didn’t want it to be. I sucked in a ragged breath.

No. No. No! This can’t be happening! I slid down to the floor, my back against the wall. This wasn’t supposed to happen!

I hugged my knees close to my chest, the nausea and headache forgotten from the mortification, dread, fear, and shock that were suffocating me. I pressed my hand over my mouth, attempting to hold in my cries.

After a while, Galilea knocked on the door. You alive in there?

Yeah.

Are you crying? she asked. My voice must’ve given it away. I didn’t answer her. Isis, let me in.

I stood up and wiped my tears with my T-shirt. I unlocked the door, and the doorknob twisted open. Galilea studied me for a moment. She turned her attention to the vanity and walked into the bathroom. She gaped down at the pink cross on the stick.

Shit. She tapped the vanity counter with her fingers. I can’t believe you kept this to yourself for so long. Haven’t you ever heard of condoms?

I was on the pill. Do you think I would be so irresponsible?

I sat on the toilet, holding my head between my hands. I felt like I was about to burst.

Actually, yes. And if you suspected this much, you should’ve said something. Galilea rubbed her forehead. What are you going to do?

I wiped a tear away and shrugged.

David has a right to know, she told me. I can call—

"No. Don’t you dare call him." I frowned at her.

That’s his child growing inside you. You can’t keep it from him.

Yes I can, and I intend to. He’ll feel obligated to take me back because of this. I don’t want that.

But, Isis, he’s your husband.

I scoffed. By your deity laws, not by mine.

Well, your human laws are messed up. She paced the bathroom. So when exactly did you, she shook her hand, motioning to my stomach, make that?

The night before I left with Eros.

Your transformation wasn’t complete. I don’t even think it’s complete now. She widened her eyes. Are you aware you and David broke the law?

Do you really think I give a shit about any of your laws right now? I snapped.

Galilea flinched, and I heard her mumble something about hormones under her breath. Well, she cleared her throat, in any case, I think the only law you need to be worried about is Claire. She’s going to be mega pissed.

More than that. Disappointed.

Do you think, Galilea narrowed her eyes, the baby will be half like you?

Half Creatura? I asked, and she nodded. I hope not.

CHAPTER 2

The kitchen counters gleamed, scrubbed to an inch of their life. Galilea slipped off a pair of yellow latex gloves, the small of her back against the counter. I sat down at the table.

It smells like Mr. Clean detonated in here, I said. Why do you keep cleaning my house?

I have nothing else to do. Besides, your mom likes me for it. Galilea took off Claire’s red, flowery apron. I called Dr. Gunn to tell him about that little critter. She pointed to my stomach. He said he wants to do a routine check-up.

How? He has no equipment.

He does now. A lot’s happened since you decided to shut down and wallow in self-pity. You’ve been impossible to talk to, and I’ve been bored out of my mind. I thought we came here because we were going to figure things out. What happened to ‘I’m going to save the people I love’? Did you just feed me that bull so I’d agree to come with you?

You know that’s not true. I meant it.

Then what’s the hold up? Galilea’s irritated face turned a subtle shade of pink. Her pulse quickened just the slightest bit.

I was surprised at how much my senses had developed. Heighted. Months ago, I wouldn’t have noticed any of this, but now, I could even smell the natural notes of musk on her skin. I felt my mouth water. Sometimes, I liked that my new superhuman senses gave me insight to peoples’ moods and emotions. Most of the time, they were waiting for me to let my guard down so the beast could take over.

Galilea. I closed my eyes. I’m hungry.

"You can’t just change the subject. You do it all the time. I’m tired of it."

I’m not changing the subject. I’m trying to tell you I don’t know how much longer I’ll be able to control myself. How am I supposed to save anyone when I want to rip out their guts?

Oh. She blinked. How long have you been feeling this way?

Um… I looked at the polished tabletop and made invisible circles with my finger on it. A couple of weeks. I looked up at her. Or maybe more? I don’t know.

And you didn’t bother to tell me? She raised her voice. Do you realize how serious this is? Do you even know what kind of a threat you pose…? She held up a finger. We need to leave.

Hey, if you want to go, go ahead. I’m staying right here where I belong.

Galilea walked over to the table and sat down. Look, I know you want to be with your mother. I know this is where you feel the safest. But Claire… She huffed. Claire can’t protect you because she’s nowhere near safe from you. The truth is, she took a long breath, you don’t belong here anymore.

I can’t just leave her, I said. What kind of a daughter would I be, abandoning her without giving her a real explanation? I don’t want to keep lying to her, Galilea. Do you know how hard that is for me?

She ran her fingers through her short, dark hair and sighed. Do you love her? she asked.

Of course I do. She’s my mom.

Then love her enough to let her live. She stood up. That’s the right thing to do, even if it hurts to do it. She looked at me for a moment, and then glanced around the kitchen. I’m done here. I told Dr. G I’d get a hold of some medical equipment for him. He wants to see you this evening, so I’ll be by later to pick you up. She sized me up. "And for goodness sake, take a shower. Just because you’re Creatura doesn’t mean you have to smell like one."

As soon as Galilea walked out the door, I raised my arm and took a whiff. Ewe! Ripe. I headed straight to the bathroom.

After I showered, I had long, miserable hours to think about everything Galilea had said—about how David had a right to know about the pregnancy, about Claire being better off alone than with a daughter who might turn cannibalistic at any given moment. As much as I hated to admit it, she was right on both counts.

***

The oven timer beeped just as the front door screeched open. Claire was home, and I knew I had to tell her…that I was pregnant. The fact David and I were no longer together would make this situation a lot more complicated for her. For us. I was sure I would lose her trust, and it unsettled me, because although she’d always be my mother, I didn’t want to lose her as a friend. I was lucky to have such a close bond with her. I could confide in her, and she in me. I dreaded the mere thought of losing our bond.

You’re cooking, Claire said, eyebrows high on her forehead as I pulled the chicken out of the oven.

Yup, I said.

Well, this is a nice surprise. She sat at the table. Do you plan on leaving your room more often?

Maybe. I shrugged as I walked across the kitchen with a plate in each hand. No promises.

Baby steps, huh?

Her words made me freeze in the middle of the room, a mix of paranoia and guilt drilling deep into me.

You okay? she asked.

Y-Yes. Fine.

I set the plates on the table and sat down. Claire told me about her day at the office while I picked at my food, her words muted by the voice of my own thoughts urging me to get it over with and tell her.

Mom, I said, when she finally paused to take a drink of her diet soda, I’m…I’m p—

Did you hear that? Claire looked over her shoulder in the direction of the living room. I think someone’s at the door.

I sighed, frustrated as well as relieved. It’s probably Galilea. I’ll get it.

Galilea’s arms were folded over her chest when I opened the door, her brows creased tight. I could hear her pulse drumming at a higher rate than was normal for her.

Something wrong? I asked.

Galilea lowered one hand to her hip and used the other to motion to the left. I stepped onto the porch and turned to see what the cause of her aggravation was; only, it wasn’t a what, but a who, and he was sitting as collected as ever in perfectly pressed khakis on one of our rocking chairs.

"Bonsoir. Eros smirked. Are you as happy to see me as I am to see you, my sweet?"

I turned to Galilea. "Why would you bring him to my house?"

I didn’t bring him. You think I’m stupid? He followed me here.

Followed you? I frowned. But you said you were always invisible out there.

"Well excuse me for not having enough energy to keep my block up when I’m using it all on my house, the lab, the doctors, you, your mother, and your house."

Get him out of here. I glanced at Eros, and his pearl-white teeth beamed as he smiled at me. Galilea, do something!

"Have you not been listening to a word I’ve been saying? I don’t have the energy to do anything right now."

Well, find a way, I said through gritted teeth.

Um… I hate to interrupt this farm-chicken squabble, but it’s getting uncomfortably hot out here, Eros said, rising from the chair. He stepped toward me. Aren’t you going to invite me in to meet your mother?

Are you cra—

Her mother is right here, Claire’s voice came from behind me. "And who might you be?"

CHAPTER 3

Galilea and I exchanged a worried glance. I didn’t know how to explain to Claire who Eros was or how I knew him, much less what he was doing on our doorstep.

Mom, he’s…a….uh…

A friend of mine, Galilea said. Old, old friend.

I’m Eros Lamoureux. He took Claire’s hand and shook it. It’s a pleasure, madam.

Claire Martin. Two lines formed between Claire’s brows. You look familiar. Where have I seen you before?

Eros isn’t from around here, I said. You don’t know him. You don’t want to know him.

I said I’ve seen him before, not that I know him. I think… She held a finger up. Wait a minute. What did you say your name was, again?

Eros Lam—

Yes, I know where I’ve seen you. Isis, invite your friends in. Claire pivoted and walked into the house. Galilea followed her in, but I remained on the porch.

What are you doing here, Eros? I took a step closer to him, my hands folded into fists at my sides.

Chasing my runaway bride. I see you’re still human. And I know for a fact David is his old self, as well. Or at least it’s what I’ve been told. So… He winked at me. I’ve come to collect.

I’d made a deal with Eros in Greece, agreeing to marry him if he helped me stop my transformation and find my father. He did help me find Samuel, and neither David nor I had transformed into any type of monster—physically. However, inside, I didn’t feel like myself anymore. Somehow, I doubted it would matter to Eros.

If you think I’m marrying you, I shook my head, think again.

"You and I—we—made a pact. A deal is a deal."

Yeah, well, I changed my mind.

You should’ve given it more thought before you agreed to my terms. He ran a finger along my arm, and I stepped away from him.

"I have thought it over. The deal’s off, I told him. I might still be human, but you had nothing to do with it."

Eros sniggered. I wish it were so simple.

Meaning?

Meaning it doesn’t matter if either one of us want to break the deal. You have to follow through unless… You wouldn’t want to lose what you most love, would you?

"What? You jerk. You planned this so well. I can’t believe you would use your power to—"

I didn’t. The accord you made with me binds you. It’s not something I can revoke. It must be followed through until the end, otherwise…

I lose what I most love, I said. Eros nodded once. Which is what?

Not what, but who. He jerked his chin in the direction of the front door. Her memories will be taken. She won’t remember you. He paused. She’ll lose her mind.

But… Shouldn’t I be the one punished for breach of contract?

You don’t think it punishment enough?

I do. I just… I don’t understand what my mother has to do with it. It’s not fair.

These agreements never are. He reached for my face. I’m sorry.

You’re sorry. I pushed him away. "You’re sorry? Well, that sure makes it all better. I frowned. Why didn’t you tell me about the clauses in this stupid agreement to begin with?"

I wasn’t thinking. I… Eros rubbed the back of his neck. I forgot the clause existed.

How convenient.

I glared at him. I didn’t know if I wanted to bash his head in or smack it for being such a dimwit. How does one forget, Eros? I growled. How could you not remember what was at stake? I waited for a response. "Answer me."

He pushed me against the wall, my arms pinned against his chest, his hands on either side of my face. I could feel the beating of our hearts synced to the same rhythm—hard and manic.

Because it’s what you do to me. Especially when your temper takes over. One of his thumbs stroked my jaw. I can’t reason when I’m around you. He leaned in, his gray eyes looking straight into me. Why did you run from me? He glanced at my lips. I’ve missed you, my sweet.

And all of sudden, there it was. The electricity between us that made my blood boil and pump through my cells like molten lava, claiming my better judgment. My eyes closed. I felt his lips press against mine. I gripped his shirt with one hand and moved the other up over his chest and to his shoulder. Then, stopping for a moment at the pulse on his neck, I reached for his head and sifted my fingers through his blond, silky hair. I pulled him harder against me. I was shaking, invigorated by the taste of his lips. I heard a groan escape his throat. He tried to pry my hands off his head, but I fought to keep his lips pressed against mine. They were sweeter and more sating than I remembered. I was swimming in a sea of succulence I didn’t know existed. I wanted more, so much more, of this.

Suddenly, I felt a savage yank on the hair on my nape. The pain made me whimper. I withdrew my grip on Eros. Clutching my face with one hand, he pushed my head against the wall, his face centimeters from mine.

I don’t mind you being rough with me. He panted. As a matter of fact, I rather enjoy it. But using me to snack on is off limits. I’m not a steakhouse. Do you understand?

Huh? I was confused.

You bit me. He stepped back and wiped his bottom lip with the back of a fisted hand. Several times. He showed me the blood smeared on his knuckles.

I studied the bright red teeth marks and open slits on his swollen lip. I’d let myself slip. I’d bitten him, tasted his blood. And I liked it. I heaved in a tattered breath. How could I have allowed myself?

It’ll heal in a few minutes, he said. I assume it’s what you’re worried about. He produced a handkerchief from his pants pocket and wiped his mouth and hand.

I didn’t mean to…to…do that, I apologized.

I suppose I should’ve been worried about him, concerned I could’ve just killed him. But instead, I was nervous for me. The Creatura inside me was more conniving than Eros. It was sly and aggressive, and, worst of all, it was overpowering me.

Why are you two still out there? Claire’s voice came from inside the house.

Eros sucked his lower lip into his mouth just as Galilea stepped onto the porch. Claire followed behind her.

I know where I’ve seen you. Claire held up a fashion magazine. Right here. She looked at me. He’s in here.

Eros took the magazine from Claire. He turned away, giving us his back, and flipped through the magazine.

Oh yes. I remember this. He faced us, his lip already healed. I don’t do many of those. He handed the magazine back to Claire. It’s a hobby, really.

What’s a hobby? I asked.

He’s an underwear model. Galilea rolled her eyes. Mister Vanity and tighty-whities.

See for yourself, Claire said, opening the magazine. She held it up for me to see. The page she showed me featured a black-and-white full-page advertisement of