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    Riding the Dragon: 10 Lessons for Inner Strength in Challenging Times
    Riding the Dragon: 10 Lessons for Inner Strength in Challenging Times
    Riding the Dragon: 10 Lessons for Inner Strength in Challenging Times
    Ebook147 pages2 hours

    Riding the Dragon: 10 Lessons for Inner Strength in Challenging Times

    By Robert J. Wicks

    3.5/5

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    About this ebook

    “Riding the Dragon gives the reader the chance to look for the lessons that are often hidden in our sorrows.”—Goodreads reviewer

    Twenty years and 70,000 copies after it was first released, Riding the Dragon—by popular author, speaker, and psychologist Robert J. Wicks—continues to help thousands each year to confront the “dragons” of stress, discouragement, burnout, and unexpected change that everyone struggles with in their daily lives.

    Instead of pretending these difficulties don’t exist or trying to remove them entirely, Wicks offers ten lessons to help us face them, overcome them, and grow from them. These simple yet profound lessons draw on the wisdom of Eastern and Western spiritual traditions as well as Wicks’s experience as a psychologist, and include

    • pairing clarity with kindness,
    • seeking perspective daily, and
    • building a barrier of simplicity.
     

    Riding the Dragon is a concise, compassionate, and knowledgeable guide for anyone experiencing or supporting someone facing personal or professional challenges. This twentieth anniversary edition features a new preface from the author, highlighting how Riding the Dragon is, perhaps now more than ever, an indispensable spiritual and psychological companion for all of us who are yearning for our lives to be transformed.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherAve Maria Press
    Release dateDec 16, 2022
    ISBN9781933495446
    Riding the Dragon: 10 Lessons for Inner Strength in Challenging Times
    Author

    Robert J. Wicks

    Psychologist and popular speaker Robert J. Wicks is the author of more than sixty books for individuals and professionals, including the bestselling Riding the Dragon. He speaks internationally about resilience, self-care, and the prevention of secondary stress to audiences from the US Congress to Walter Reed Army Hospital, from the Johns Hopkins School of Medicine to Harvard Children’s Hospital, and from the Princeton Theological Seminary to the NATO Intelligence Fusion Center in England. Some of Wicks’s presentations include speaking at the commemoration of the Boston Marathon Bombing at the Boston Public Library; a keynote for the American Medical Directors Association; a course in Beirut, Lebanon, for relief workers from Aleppo, Syria; and the psychological debriefing of relief workers evacuated from Rwanda during the genocide in 1994. He also regularly speaks at the Los Angeles Religious Education Congress. Wicks serves as a professor emeritus at Loyola University Maryland, and has taught in universities and professional schools of psychology, medicine, nursing, theology, education, and social work. He earned a doctorate in psychology from Hahnemann Medical College and Hospital and has received honorary degrees from Georgian Court, Caldwell, and Marywood universities. In 1996, Pope John Paul II awarded Wicks a papal medal for his service to the Catholic Church. He also received the first Alumni Award for Excellence in Professional Psychology from Widener University and the Humanitarian of the Year Award from the American Counseling Association’s Division on Spirituality, Ethics and Religious Values in Counseling.

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    Reviews for Riding the Dragon

    3.5/5

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    • 4/5
      I found this book to be very helpful esp. since I am always trying to improve myself both on the outside and inside. The author discusses 10 lessons for inner strength in challenging times. He also provides guidance and encouragement for our problems and shows us ways to go grow through them or as the title of the book says Ride through the dragons.
    • 5/5
      I found this author's name from The Secret. This book is quite a gem. I'd definitely recommend it to anyone who's in a profession that deals with helping people. There were so many wonderful quotes in the book. I'll probably buy this book at some point; it's definitely worth reading again!

    Book preview

    Riding the Dragon - Robert J. Wicks

    RidingtheDragon_COV.jpg

    "Riding the Dragon extends hope to anyone going through a crisis, a time of conflict, or change. For professional helpers or healers, caregiving is certainly one such time when we evaluate and reevaluate all that we thought we knew about ourselves. It is in this searching that we enter into the process and ‘darkness of the shadow’ so that we do not just cope but actually fly. Wicks’s ten lessons, interspersed with stories and quotes, are readable, relatable, and highly impactful."

    Debra Kelsey-Davis and Kelly Johnson

    Founders of Nourish for Caregivers and authors of The Caregiver’s Companion

    "I’ve never traveled on a dragon but I have read Robert Wicks’s enriching book. It’s an amazing ride filled with ancient and modern wisdom, including the author’s own timely perceptions. Riding the Dragon takes the reader on a pilgrimage inside the undulating hills and valleys that live inside our personal journeys and leads us home to inner peace. Don’t miss the opportunity for spiritual growth contained in this valuable resource."

    Joyce Rupp

    Author of Return to the Root

    All I had to do was read the chapter titles in this book to know that this was one dragon I wanted to ride. Wicks is a master who makes the spiritual life exciting—and doable.

    Sr. Helen Prejean

    Author of Dead Man Walking

    Nicely blends both Eastern and Western wisdom.

    Library Journal

    A nurturing work that provides plenty of self-care tips.

    Spirituality and Health

    A warm and encouraging voice.

    Shambhala Sun

    _________________________

    © 2003, 2005, 2012, 2022 by Robert J. Wicks

    All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever, except in the case of reprints in the context of reviews, without written permission from Sorin Books®, P.O. Box 428, Notre Dame, IN 46556-0428.

    www.sorinbooks.com

    Paperback: ISBN-13 978-1-893732-94-0

    E-book: ISBN-13 978-1-933495-44-6

    Cover and text design by Brian C. Conley.

    Printed and bound in the United States of America.

    Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available.

    She welcomes each day with enthusiasm,

    laughter, curiosity, and boundless love

    for everyone she meets—

    I am completely bowled over

    by her spirit of spontaneous joy.

    For my granddaughter,

    Kaitlyn Marie Kulick

    SPIRITUAL AND PERSONAL GROWTH BOOKS BY ROBERT J. WICKS

    Prayerfulness

    Simple Changes

    Everyday Simplicity

    Living a Gentle, Passionate Life

    After 50: Embracing Your Own Wisdom Years

    Touching the Holy: Ordinariness, Self-Esteem, and Friendship

    Living Simply in an Anxious World

    Availability

    The Simple Care of a Hopeful Heart

    Bounce: Living the Resilient Life

    The Tao of Ordinariness

    Night Call: Embracing Compassion and Hope in a Troubled World

    Do You Have a Moment?

    Prayers for Uncertain Times

    CONTENTS

    Preface to the Twentieth Anniversary Edition

    Acknowledgments

    Introduction

    Enhancing Your Use of the Lessons

    Lesson 1: Prune Carefully . . . and Often!

    Lesson 2: Recognize Your Renewal Zones

    Lesson 3: Catch the Slide

    Lesson 4: Seek Hidden Possibilities

    Lesson 5: Engage the Spiritual Darkness

    Lesson 6: Pair Clarity and Kindness

    Lesson 7: Find Love in Small Deeds

    Lesson 8: Seek Perspective Daily

    Lesson 9: Build a Barrier of Simplicity

    Lesson 10: Come Home Often

    Epilogue: Be a Dangerous Listener

    Some Readings I Have Found Helpful

    Notes

    These Days . . . We Are Apt To Seek Out A therapist to . . . help us get the dragon back into its cave. Therapists of many schools will oblige in this, and we will thus be returned to what Freud called ordinary unhappiness, and temporarily, heave a sigh of relief, our repressions working smoothly once again. Zen, by contrast, offers dragon-riding lessons.

    David Brazier

    We Should Not Just Be A Fan Of dragons; we should always be the dragon himself. Then we will not be afraid of any dragon.¹

    Shunryu Suzuki

    PREFACE TO THE TWENTIETH ANNIVERSARY EDITION

    With the onset of COVID-19 and the dramatic divisiveness in the world—even in parts of Christianity—taking place alongside it, most people’s lives were turned upside down. In addition to personal anxiety, family stress, financial pressures, and uncertainty, there was a communal darkness that seemed to descend on many of us. The lessons in Riding the Dragon which were meant to offer approaches to inner strength appeared to be needed now more than ever before. And so Karey Circosta, the publisher of Sorin Books, saw this as an ideal time to highlight the contents of Riding the Dragon on the twentieth anniversary of its original release.

    I love to write but didn’t realize how much I have published until a friend asked me, How many books have you written? After I thought about it for a moment, I came up with the number and told him. In response, he said, Bob, I think you need to get out more often! and we both laughed. However, out of all that I have written, Riding the Dragon remains my most widely read book. I am not surprised by this because it is so important to know about the possibilities of posttraumatic growth and the spirituality of suffering, which are at the heart of this book.

    In posttraumatic growth (PTG)² we are psychologically called, on the one hand, to not downplay the challenges, stress, and trauma we all face at times and, on the other hand, to remain open to where such unwanted experiences might take us. With such a sense of openness we realize that darkness need not be the last word in our lives but instead may be the beginning of a new sense of depth and growth. With PTG we may experience new psychological meaning and depth that would not have been possible had the stress or trauma not happened in the first place. This is very similar to the spirituality of suffering in which we do not invite pain—which would be masochism—but when it does occur, we see pain as a portal to meeting God in ways not possible before.

    Such psychological and spiritual awakenings are not only important to us but can have a positive impact on those we encounter in our family, our circle of friends, and the workplace. The reason is simple: One of the greatest gifts we can share with others is a sense of our own inner peace and a healthy perspective . . . but we can’t share what we don’t have!

    As was indicated in the original edition of Riding the Dragon, in the following pages we will see that there is no guarantee that tough times will result in greater wisdom and a more compassionate demeanor, but they will increase the possibility of growth in these areas for those who are open to explore it—so why not try? Certainly, when life falls apart, don’t you deserve whatever good can come your way? And it only takes one thing: openness to change and to the possibility that you will be graced anew in some unforeseen way during and after these tough times of loss, trauma, loneliness, and significant stress.

    If we are open to seeing our helplessness and facing our loss and trauma directly, we will experience the cardinal spiritual and psychological virtue of humility. When this occurs, wondrous results become possible, because when you take humility and add it to knowledge, you get wisdom. And when you add this gift of wisdom to compassion, you get love . . . and God is love. What more can you ask than that?

    By facing the dragons of reality and truth about our lives, much unforeseen growth, depth, and promise become possible. New meaning-making in today’s world becomes a reality in ways not experienced before. It is not easy to face our lives at times. No one wants to experience loss, trauma, stress, uncertainty, doubt, fear, and loneliness. However, if we can learn to ride our dragons rather than run, hide from, or attack them, it can be transforming.

    It is true, then, that what is written in psychological and various scriptural texts needs to be embraced: the truth shall set you free. And that is what this book is about: the new freedom and wisdom within reach when we open ourselves to all of life, including—maybe especially—during our challenging times.

    Life can be overwhelming at times. Once, a Presbyterian seminarian said to me about an event in his life, I didn’t think so much sadness could fit into my body. When that occurs, you deserve all the support you can get. This is essential not only so you can return, as much as possible, to life as it was (though this rarely occurs completely—and actually shouldn’t be the case in all situations) but also so that something more wonderful can happen, something that will allow you to share your life in ways never before considered possible. If in some way the following pages of this twentieth anniversary edition of Riding the Dragon can enable this to happen, I will be grateful. You deserve whatever support you can get at this tender time in your life. May this book be a part of it.

    Robert J. Wicks

    Loyola University Maryland

    ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

    I am grateful for the wonderful, gentle, and hopeful stories shared with me by Carol Barry, Veronica Cavanaugh-Kennedy, Lucille Winston, Luise Ahrens, and Cindy Boland. Stories like yours help me and others to find, deepen, and share ours. Thank you.

    The help Karyn Felder offered me while typing and retyping version after version of this book with care and quiet enthusiasm kept me on track. This little book was in process for almost two years, so her patience and attention to detail made all the difference.

    Finally, for her deep, honest, and loving review of this and all of my previous books, I can’t put into words my appreciation for my wife Michaele. When I have had the faith and courage to ride the dragons in my life, she has had to take much of the heat in order to help me back on when I fell off. Thank you and I love you.

    INTRODUCTION

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