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    Short Stories for Short Attention Spans
    Short Stories for Short Attention Spans
    Short Stories for Short Attention Spans
    Ebook53 pages35 minutes

    Short Stories for Short Attention Spans

    By Joey Held

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    About this ebook

    The debut collection of fiction from author Joey Held, "Short Stories for Short Attention Spans" takes a whimsical look at some of the things we experience in our everyday lives. Dive into the complex world of office emails; leap down the window of a vending machine; enjoy a fresh cup of joe in a coffee shop that considers a spotless table a minor miracle. This collection turns the mundane into the slightly more enjoyable. Because life is a bit more fun when we're able to laugh at the quirks of the world.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherJoey Held
    Release dateJan 24, 2017
    ISBN9781370736867
    Short Stories for Short Attention Spans
    Author

    Joey Held

    Joey Held is a writer living in Austin, TX. He is the author of Short Stories for Short Attention Spans, a collection of fiction that pokes at the foibles of everyday life. His work has appeared in places like Paste Magazine, Yahoo!, and The Huffington Post. In his spare time, he likes to play music with his band Burning Years, or you can find him tossing some kind of ball around, be it basket, foot, or base. Shoot him a message and say hello!

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      Book preview

      Short Stories for Short Attention Spans - Joey Held

      Short Stories for Short Attention Spans

      By Joey Held

      © 2017 Joey Held. All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever. Visit the author’s website at www.joeyheld.com with further inquiries.

      This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to your favorite ebook retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

      The stories contained within this book are works of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, businesses, companies, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

      Table of Contents

      The Coffee Café

      Principal’s Office

      Vending Machine Mayhem

      Wedding Day

      Office Memos

      About the Author

      Connect with Joey

      The Coffee Café

      Okay, so you want a double caramel macchiato rainbow sprinkle special, with half and half, a splash of skim milk, two sugars, one Splenda and a dash of cinnamon?

      No, you stupid idiot. One sugar and two Splendas. Were you even listening to a word I was saying?

      Oh yes, sorry sir.

      What upset me more than anything was that this was one of the kinder interactions I’ve had at The Coffee Café, a little shop on Guerrero Street just down the road from the hospital. I’d been working there for about three weeks, and already I had seen just how terrible humans could be, particularly when they haven’t yet had their coffee.

      I swear, if there are two fucking sugars in this drink, I’m not paying for it. I glanced up at the man. He was wearing a crumpled suit that was maybe just an inch too short for him. Not only were the sleeves of his dress shirt extended too far out, his tie looked wound so tight that it was a wonder he hadn’t passed out from suffocation. He had a messenger bag slung over his shoulder, with no fewer than seven papers poking out from the different compartments. I wondered if he had recently collided with a bus, as his haggard appearance suggested.

      No sir, I said. There will only be one fucking sugar.

      Don’t you dare get smart with me, he said, a vein on his forehead bulging out with every other word. I make and break little shits like you every day.

      Sounds painful, I said, taking his credit card. "Would you like to donate any money to the…you know what, you seem like

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