A Shared Secret

A Shared Secret

by

Tomma Rae

Copyright © 2015 by Tomma Rae

All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used without the express written permission of the publisher.

To David, you are my soul mate, my best friend and the love of my life. You are my heart and the best thing that ever happened to me. I will always appreciate you and be grateful for the fact that I have you in my life. I waited my whole life to meet someone like you and then it happened. All of my dreams came true as I have the most wonderful, most incredible, most amazing man in the whole wide world! Love makes all the difference in the world and you make all the difference in my life.

Acknowledgements

Warmest thanks to my parents who have always shown me an enormous amount of love and support. There are not enough words to tell you how much I love you and how much you mean to me. This journey would not have been possible without your support. Thank you for encouraging me in all of my pursuits and inspiring me to follow my dreams. Mom, you have been my cheerleader and #1 fan and I appreciate your undying devotion to be the first person to read my manuscript in its entirety. Dad, you have provided me with so much great advice that I value very much. This calls for a hot fudge sundae!

I would also like to thank my brother Randy who has always stood by me. You are a very important part of my life and I am so proud to have you as my brother. You are the best brother and friend a sister could ever ask for.

I am so lucky and blessed to have such a wonderful father-in-law. Thank you for setting the example of how a man should be in life. You are an exemplary example and I benefit it every day by living with your son.

CHAPTER 1

Hey baby, nice ink, slurred the booze-breathed hottie whose head was lying parallel to Holly Madsen's butt cheek.

Excuse me? Holly retorted as she realized her bare ass was exposed and it was too late to do anything about it.

She reached for the closest thing she could find to cover her rump roast. Mr. Hottie's tee shirt sufficed.

Nice ink. You know, nice tattoo.

What in the world are you talking about and who the hell are you? Holly rebutted as she lay there telling herself over and over in her mind that this is just a really bad dream that would end soon.

Apparently you're FDA approved, laughed Mr. I Am Hung Over and Still Look Good. He then followed up with, Hey honey, where's the beef?

Holly could feel the blood vessels in her head start to pulsate. She was growing tired of Mr. Perfect and all of his antics. Furthermore, she didn't have a clue as to where she was or how she’d ended up there.

Judging by all the passed out people lying around her, it must have been a rager of a party.

You must still be drunk because I do not have any tattoos, Holly stated.

Your butt says otherwise, said the bare-chested, shirtless stud.

Gina! Gina, where are you? Holly screamed.

Gina had been Holly's best friend since kindergarten. If anyone could help get her out of this most embarrassing situation it was Gina.

Gina came stumbling over to Holly's aid. All of a sudden Gina's jaw dropped and her eyes widened.

Gina, what is it? Why are you looking at me like that?

Gina just stood there. How was she going to tell her best friend that she had a tattoo on her ass that said USDA Prime?

Um, you have something on your butt. It will probably just wash right off. You know, probably one of those lick n' sticks. Just stay right there and I'll go get something to wash it off with.

Gina quickly sobered up as she realized that it was probably a real tattoo and that maybe she and her best friend had taken things a little too far on their We Are Women, Hear Us Roar night out on the town.

By this point, most of the other people in the room were coming out of their drunken stupors and had gathered around Holly and her butt, which was now the focal point of everyone's attention.

Gina scrubbed and scrubbed, and it was just as she suspected—a real tattoo.

So, Gina, did it wash off? Holly asked nervously.

Not quite, Gina replied.

Not quite, you just need to scrub harder or not quite as in it's not coming off?

They have procedures for this type of thing. It's not the end of the world. It can be removed, Gina said, trying to sound convincing.

One of the interested spectators tugged on Gina's tee shirt, which by the way was all she was wearing, and pointed to her backside.

Now what? Gina exclaimed.

Maybe the tattoo parlor gave you girls a two for the price of one special.

Oh, dear God, this can't be happening, said Gina.

Now the focus went from Holly's FDA-approved USDA Prime choice butt to Gina's back end.

A tangled haired beauty who was still lying on the floor expressed how nice it was for Gina to get a tattoo on her butt that read MOM.

The man standing behind Gina said, Her tattoo doesn't say MOM, it says WOW.

Then it quickly dawned on the man, How cool is that. Your tattoo says WOW but if you flip upside down or stand on your head it says MOM.

Holly, we need to leave NOW! exclaimed Gina.

Holly got up and everyone was staring at her and her tattooed friend. Aside from the attention grabbing tattoos, the two were quite a pair to look at. Gina was tall and thin and everything Italian. She was loud and boisterous and wouldn't be able to talk if her hands were ever cut off.

Gina had soft, pouty lips that were never without lip-gloss. She had more hairpieces than the Locks of Love hair foundation and the right amount of sassiness to wear them.

Holly was average height with all the right curves in all the right places. She came across as confident and in control but unlike Gina, Holly was never comfortable in her own skin. Tonight's humiliating situation certainly didn't help matters.

Holly looked around the room, bowed her head, glanced up and said, Well, okay then. We’re going to get going. Thank you for the hospitality.

Gina quickly followed saying, We're available for weddings, bat mitzvahs and birthdays.

Once outside the two took a deep breath, looked at each other and burst out laughing.

This is by far the craziest thing I have ever done, said Holly.

I don't know Holl, I think the time you mixed your colored socks in with your white socks in your white sock draw was pretty nutty.

Holly rolled her eyes and smirked. She was a bit obsessive compulsive and anal about everything. All of her photo albums were not only titled, dated and labeled on the outside of the album, but each photo had a brief description typed underneath it. Her bills were not tucked away in some random drawer like most everyone else's. They were binderized. Holly had a binder for everything. And inside the binder were tabs that divided and compartmentalized all of the different statements. One tab read ELECTRIC. Another tab read WATER. The outsides of the binders were even labeled with titles such as CAR INSURANCE, TAXES, etc. All of the items in her closets were neatly hung and arranged. All of her jeans hung together, then all of her khakis, black pants, etc. Her dresses had their own section as did her blouses.

Holly's life existed around routines, schedules and complete order. Her days were always planned out. Holly's mother was also like this hence that's how Holly was brought up. The poor thing didn't know any better. She didn't know people could exist without schedules. Gina saw this as an inhibition and a hindrance rather than a help. Gina would always tell Holly, Stop trying to plan out your whole life. You'll be very disappointed when things take a turn and don't turn out the way you planned. Just sit back, relax and let life happen. But Holly could never seem to do this. She was always concerned with her schedule and with the what-ifs of life.

Gina, on the other hand, was one to fly by the seat of her pants. She never knew if she was coming or going and preferred it that way. That's why interesting things always seemed to happen to her because they weren't planned out. Her life wasn't planned out. And living a life not on a time schedule set her up for very little disappointment down the road. Gina was one to make things happen in her own life that she wanted to happen.

Gina wasn't dependent upon some timeline to tell her what should be happening in her life. She was the only one who would decide her own destiny. She always felt that Holly would be much happier and complete on the inside if she just learned to let go and stopped trying to please everybody else.

Having a meat product tattooed on her hindquarter was the least of Holly's problems at the moment. Her life was a train wreck. She was a wreck. She was broken on the inside and didn't know how to recover.

Their drunken tattooed wild night out on the town was a direct result of the narcissistic prick Daniel who broke Holly's heart. For the past thirty days, despair was the one to tuck Holly in at night and loneliness would wake her up in the morning. Her dinners consisted of the olives from her martinis.

Gina knew Holly needed time to grieve, binge eat, live in pajamas and watch heart-wrenching movies on the Lifetime channel all day that would make her cry, but enough was enough. Holly was about three Twinkies away from a total meltdown.

It was time to get up, get dressed, and get strong.

Holly was not returning Gina's calls but that didn't stop Gina from getting in her car and high-tailing it over to her best friend's to help her get over Daniel once and for all.

When Gina arrived Holly came to the door wearing a pair of Daniel's boxer shorts and one of his tee shirts.

You see Holl, that's the problem right there. You need to destroy everything that belonged to that arrogant, no-good asshole.

Gina then brushed past Holly, stormed up to her room and flung open the closet door. She pulled out a hot black mini skirt and a beaded halter-top.

Here, now go get changed and give me what you're wearing so I can go start a fire.

The last thing Holly wanted to do was get dressed up and go out, but she had to admit that having Gina there was helping. She was starting to feel a smidgen better. Before Gina convinced her friend that a crazy fun night out on the town would do her a world of good, the two sat and talked for quite some time. After hours of talking they did go out and a wild night it was - hence, the tattoos.

Gina, please come sit by my side and hold my hand. I need something to hold onto from this world to help pull me back into it. So much of my life is still trapped in that fog I spent five years of my life in, but every now and then the haze lifts and I get a glimpse of the person I was before. Slowly but deliberately, I keep moving toward her. I want to feel whole again.

Gina had so much she wanted to say about Holly's ex but she thought it best to dish out her comments in small doses.

You know Holl, this is Daniel's loss, not yours. You were good to him but in being good to him you weren't so good to yourself. You made yourself unhappy just to make him happy. You let him walk all over you and treat you like a third class citizen. There were times I wondered how it was possible for one human being to talk to another human being the way he did to you. He was verbally abusive Holl, and he didn’t even try to hide it. He was condescending and demeaning to you in front of other people. I never told you this, but I’ve had many people come up to me and ask me what the heck someone so great like you was doing with someone so vile like him. He may have acted like the cat’s meow but people are much smarter than you think. It didn’t take long for people to see he was more like the cats behind. Daniel was the only one who never saw your value or your worth. He was a self-prescribed dirt-bag whose only mission was to use you and treat you like a subordinate instead of like an equal.

You know it wasn't always like that, Gina. When Daniel and I first started dating five years ago he treated me like I was the only thing in his life that mattered. I felt special. I felt important. But then it was like as soon as we got engaged something changed. It's like he was visualizing life with just me and couldn't handle the thought of pulling his train into one station for the rest of his life, so he went out and test drove other tracks.

Yeah, he lost his moral compass when he cheated on you with that whorish looking wart-hog receptionist of his.

Holly couldn't help but laugh at Gina's description of the little tramp - the tramp that pretty much ruined her life. And to top it all off, it was Holly's busybody neighbor who’d made the discovery that Daniel was a no good two-timing heel. Holly stayed home sick one day and

Daniel left for work as usual. Later that day Holly's neighbor called to see how Holly was feeling but the main point of the call was to let her know she saw Daniel having lunch with some woman. Holly's first reaction was that it was a business lunch. Her neighbor said, Honey, I may be out of the dating scene but I know cocktails and oysters at high noon doesn't have anything to do with selling insurance.

I know Gina, but how could he hurt me the way he did? It's like he had no respect for me. I know in the long run it will be for the best but it just hurts so much right now. He was my life. I gave so much of myself while he gave little to nothing. He thought buying me fancy and exotic gifts would make me feel special and fill my needs. But those things didn't even come close to filling my needs. Now that I think about it, everything was always about him. He only cared about himself. But he was always attentive and nice to people around him. The only person he didn't pay any attention to was me. I keep asking myself over and over how we ended up here. I thought Daniel and I were going to spend the rest of our lives together. How could I have been so blind? All the signs were there. Every time I went to Daniel's office to meet him for lunch, Candi was always there flirting and laughing, and Daniel, of course being the smooth operator he was, always flirted back. There were times I mentioned something to Daniel and he assured me there was no flirting of any kind going on. He indicated that was just the way Candi -the slut- was. He would always say that Candi was like that with everyone. She was just a social butterfly. Social moth was more like it. And I believed him. Shows you how stupid and gullible I am.

Holly, Daniel went from taking out the best woman he will ever get to taking out the trash. You are class and she is complete trash. She's a home wrecking slut who will never amount to anything. And might I add that Candi is completely annoying with her high-pitched laugh that sounds like a hyena on crack. No person in their right mind could put up with that for any length of time unless they were completely deaf in both ears.

Holly couldn't help but laugh. Where did her friend even come up with these analogies? Gina was quick-tongued and everything that came out of her mouth was funny.

Gina was glad to see her friend smile. She loved her best friend to pieces and it truly caused her much grief to see her best friend in so much pain. She wanted to wring Daniel by his two-timing little neck for doing this to Holly. Holly deserved better. She deserved a life where she can be happy and not be treated like a pile of maggot infested dog shit.

On the surface Daniel was debonair. He always acted like the nicest, most caring guy in the world in front of other people. Yeah, Daniel had everybody fooled. Once the curtain closed he was nothing but a verbally abusive arrogant jerk that made Holly cry and feel worthless. So Gina was glad that this happened now instead of when they got married, which was going to be in 2 months. Daniel could only hide how he truly was for so long. Then the real asshole in him popped out. There was many times Gina stopped by Holly's on her way home from the gym only to hear Daniel freaking out on her for stupid shit. He was always butting in on Holly's telephone conversations and dictating what she should be saying. He constantly put her down and made her feel ugly. She was in a living hell. And now her trust in any person of the male species was completely shattered. She didn't know who she wanted to lash out at more - Daniel or the slut he worked with.

Candi knew Daniel was engaged to Holly. But that didn’t stop the train to Hussyville. The no-good bimbo even came to parties that Holly and Daniel hosted in their luxury loft apartment. Holly felt humiliated and betrayed.

I can't even go into any of his closets because they are empty, Holly sobbed.

Everything in the house reminds me of him. My life is so upside down right now and I feel like I'm in a black hole.

Holly, there is light outside of the black hole. You need to take this time and focus on you for a change. Surround yourself with people like me who love you and will support you no matter what, advised Gina.

Hey, I know most of the wedding was almost paid for and you're probably going to lose out on some deposits but what about the honeymoon? Is that paid for? Gina asked as she now sat on the edge of her seat leaning forward towards her friend.

My grandmother set aside a week from her timeshare for us to use. My mind has been so clouded with terrible visions of Daniel and his floozy girlfriend that I haven't been able to think about anything else.

I have an idea. Who says we can't go on that honeymoon? You owe it to yourself to get away from here for a week or two and have some fun in the sun. What do you say? asked Gina

Gina could see the wheels in Holly's head starting to turn.

Well, Gina, I don't know. I can't seem to get a grip on anything. I just lost my fiancé. I hate my job and right now I hate my life.

Holly worked for an investment company for ten years and pretty much devoted her life to the company. She made the company millions of dollars. It was a family owned company and at first Holly was the only non-family member who worked there. They depended on Holly for everything and Holly delivered. She was very driven and self-motivated and was a borderline workaholic. She oftentimes wondered if her work habits were what drove Daniel to do what he did. Maybe things would be different had she not spent so much time working.

She started working for this company while she was in college and was offered a full time position with benefits, not to mention the salary was decent. Holly always worked hard. She was an achiever. Her last two years of college were paid for by the college itself because she was the top of her class. She wouldn't have accepted anything less than that and she fought hard to keep her number one position. But in doing so, she put a lot of pressure on herself. She always put unnecessary strain on herself to be perfect. Gina would always tell her that it is near impossible to be perfect in an imperfect world.

At first she loved her job. It was something new and exciting and she was rising up the ranks fast. Within two years she became Vice President of the company and was making a six-figure salary. The company grew and so did the number of employees. Holly enjoyed the people she worked with. It was a pleasant atmosphere until the company started bringing in friends of the family. After that there was a shift. Employees who were with the company for a while were no longer valued. The witch-nosed Ingrid was the worst of the worst. She needed to hop back on her broomstick and fly back to wherever she came from because she was terrible to work with. But she was the owner's daughter's best friend. And worst of all, she had the most annoying voice. Every morning she would call together a meeting and would start by saying, We reeeeeeally, reeeeeeeally need to work on paperwork, etc.

Ingrid's face was so rigid and cold it would crack into one hundred pieces god forbid she ever smiled. About her only asset was her long, blond hair. Other than that, she had a wart on the end of her nose. Apparently no one ever told her about surgery to remove it. Maybe Ingrid liked having the wart on the end of her nose. It screamed out I am a bitch. Don’t mess with me. Nobody in the office could stand her. She turned what was a fun, upbeat office into a military boot camp.

Everyone came to Holly, since she was in a position of authority, to express their discontent with the wicked witch of the west. Holly went to bat for all of her co-workers. She went right to the owner's son Mark, who was her direct boss, and laid it all down. She conveyed to him that Ingrid is making people feel uncomfortable, is militant and is not nice to work with. Holly also told her boss that she had worked too long and hard to get where she was at to listen to this Ingrid who had absolutely no experience in the investment business. Holly was very good at what she did and her boss knew that. It was Holly's hard work that pretty much bought the owners their winter residence in Naples, Florida.

Mark took Holly's comments under advisement. But it didn't do any good. He then went around secretly to each employee to see if they had a problem with Ingrid. Holly's co-workers turned out to be spineless losers who refused to stand up for themselves. Holly went to bat for them and when it came time for them to take a stand they choked and made Holly look like an idiot.

So after that, things were never right. Holly had a big taste of distrust in her mouth for her co-workers and she was at the point where she no longer gave two shits about them.

People in general basically sucked. Ingrid sucked, Mark sucked, her co-workers sucked and now Daniel sucked. Suck, suck, suck. Getting up to drive an hour to a job she loved used to excite Holly. Now it was an arduous task she hated. Holly bent over backwards for the company. She put in many weekend hours and would put her own family on the back burner when it came to work. She always put work first. Maybe Daniel felt that he didn't matter to her. Maybe it was Daniel who didn't feel important. Even so, he gave in to temptation and now probably has crabs. Way to go Daniel!

Gina was happy with life in general but she was good at blocking out pain and bad memories. Her boyfriend of six years cheated on her with some skanky Hooters ho. Since then she's put up a wall and won't allow anyone of the male species to get close to her. She has pretty much ruled that men are good for one thing and one thing only¬- sex. Power to the penis! Beyond that, they're useless. Gina decided life was too short to be wrapped up in what could be some fairy tale romance only to get hurt in the end. She was through with being hurt.

Work wasn't kind to Gina either. She was a bus aide for one of the local school departments in a higher-class neighborhood. The kids on the bus were elementary kids and they were evil little bastards. The parents spoiled them mostly out of guilt for never being home and for basically having nannies raise them. Gina was waiting for school to let out one day and she closed her eyes for just a minute only to be awoken by some little hellion kicking her in the shin saying, Wake up! My parents don't pay taxes to have you sit here and sleep all day. This was the last straw and the point when Gina realized she didn't need to take their shit anymore. So she responded by saying, Yeah and your parents don't pay taxes to have me kick your bratty little ass from here all the way to your stop but I'm going to do it anyway. That shut him up. He scowled at her and then went straight to his seat. She was tired of these rude and obnoxious know-it-all brats. Gina was not going to bow down to these pint-sized nightmares anymore.

You know what Gina? We're going to go on that honeymoon. And furthermore, I'm going to quit my job. I am tired of dealing with people. I've taken their verbal diarrhea long enough and I'm ready for a change. I want to be happy. I am going to embrace my life by the balls right here and now.

This is so unlike you Holly. Just to do something on a whim and not have it planned out. Whatever will your calendar do?

Well, you're looking at a new me, Holly stated as she stood there with her hands on her hips.

Well, count me in. I'm going to quit my job too and be rid of all those bratty little kids.

Aruba here we come! the pair shouted in excitement.

CHAPTER 2

Halter tops. Check.

Bikinis. Check.

Dolce & Gabanna sunglasses. Check.

Air brush tans. Check.

Letter of resignation. Check!

The suitcases were just about packed.

Holly woke up early, emailed her letter of resignation and never looked back. She felt a huge weight lifted off of her shoulders. Under normal circumstances she would have done the appropriate thing and given her two weeks’ notice but she’d been disrespected one too many times to even remotely care. Throughout her working career she had saved up enough money where she would be financially secure for at least a year anyway.

Furthermore, her grandmother who she was very close with was the heiress of the Nummy Nums dog food company. Holly's grandmother Olivia was after Holly for years to come and work for the company but Holly always declined the offer. She wanted to make it on her own and prove she could do something separate and apart from the family business and be successful at it. And she did.

Holly always preferred working with animals as opposed to people and maybe she would reconsider the offer when she got back from her trip. The only thing she was thinking about now was drinks by the pool, fun with her best friend and a killer tan.

Gina didn't have to quit her job just yet because it was July and the kids were out of school for the summer. She'd deal with it the end of August.

The buzzer in Holly's apartment went off. Come on up Gina, Holly replied.

Soon there was a knock on