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Buyer Collects
Buyer Collects
Buyer Collects
Ebook57 pages53 minutes

Buyer Collects

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Steven Walker isn't at all religious, so when the opportunity arises to sell his soul it's a no brainer, but when his life consequently begins to unravel he's left with only one option. But how, having sold his soul, will be manage to get it back?
Buyer collects is the first of Uncle John's bedtime tales - volume two.

LanguageEnglish
PublisherJohn Vault
Release dateDec 15, 2016
ISBN9781370584802
Buyer Collects
Author

John Vault

I'm an Englishman abroad in New Zealand, having moved here from the UK about four years ago. Writing for me has evolved from a means of escapism into something of an obsession. A subject that plays a major part in the content of many of my stories. Yes I'm pretty much infatuated with lunacy. It scares the hell out of me. It's all the unpredictability I think. My writing style is unorthodox and rarely sticks firmly to the genre for which it is presented, which is good because formulaic horror is like an 80's pop single. Same old, same old. I like to flip rapidly between gory horror and farcical comedy. I think that this kind of contrast amplifies the effects of both. It certainly affects me that way. I saw a film once, a long time ago, called 'The old dark house'. It was basically horror comedy but it was done so well that it just creeped me out for months! Another of my favourites (for all the wrong reasons) is 'Eraser head'. The atmosphere in this movie just blew me away. I've been criticised in the past for rampant use of expletives in character dialogue but I don't care. The characters that I write about actually live for me. I get to know them like friends and all my friends swear like troopers!I consider myself a normal man, having a wife, children and several household pets, but I have a real dark side and the best way to appease it is to write horror stories. I don't like stuff where the hero always wins out because justice has no place in horror either. Sometimes the hero and the villain are the same character. Sometimes the villains win and the heroes meet with ghastly deaths. When you see the villain/monster die in flames at the end of a movie, it's over. Why not let it live and enjoy the possibility that it just may turn up at your bedroom window in the middle of the night? Isn't that sooo much sexier?If you want to get in touch please feel free to do so. But no stalkers please. I'm fully booked in that department until somewhere around January 2025! I can be reached via my e-publisher at:HiRiscPublications@gmail.com - please put 'FAO John Vault' in the subject header and I'll get it.

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    Book preview

    Buyer Collects - John Vault

    Buyer collects

    by

    John Vault.

    SMASHWORDS EDITION.

    ***

    PUBLISHED BY:

    HiRisk Publications on Smashwords.

    Buyer collects

    Copyright © 2014 by John Vault.

    Smashwords Edition License Notes

    This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person you share it with. If you're reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then you should return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the author's work.

    Discover other titles by John Vault at Smashwords.com

    *********

    Dedication

    This work is dedicated to all those good people with shiny bright souls who spend all of their precious time doing God's work by damning other perfectly nice people to hell in the comments sections of on-line news articles. I feel sure that in the fullness of time, when it's your turn to be judged, you're going to be really quite embarrassed.

    *********

    Contents

    Introduction

    Buyer collects

    Also by John Vault

    *********

    Introduction

    A few short years ago a young and entrepreneurial New Zealand man offered his soul to the highest bidder on an on-line auction site. His soul was purchased for $5,001.00 by a pizza franchise called 'Hell Pizza' and the deed for it now hangs on the wall in the company's head office.

    Of course this was simply a matter of fun, giggles and opportunistic marketing, but the cash payment was real however and so the fact that the man's soul, should it actually exist, is now under new management cannot be disputed.

    In the middle ages a contract such as this would have been pushed, along with its kicking and screaming participants, into the searing depths of the pizza oven from whence it sprang, but in modern times it seems that we no longer regard our immortal soul as something of value.

    Having successfully globalised the majority of our own world's resources, we have now stepped into the ethereal and managed to outsource the work of the Devil himself. We have outclassed our fork tailed friend and cast him aside as we have with others of his theological ilk. Perhaps, realising this, he has resigned his post as the prince of darkness and taken a day job making pizza. Old habits die hard I suppose.

    As to what awaits the man who has sold his everlasting personal splinter of divinity, well, that remains to be seen…

    Buyer collects is the first of Uncle John's bedtime tales - volume two.

    Buyer collects

    'Souls bought.' She read aloud giggling. 'Best prices paid apparently.'

    'What?' Steve laughed, craning his neck to see over her shoulder. 'Where?'

    'Here.' Moraid answered, pointing to a very tiny advertisement in the small ads listings of the local rag. 'In the wanted section. There's a phone number and everything.'

    'And you're going to sell yours are you?' Steve asked.

    'Don't be ridiculous.' Moraid answered. 'My grandma would spin in her grave.'

    'And thus the maniacal grasp of the Irish Catholic matriarch reaches out from beyond the veil.' Steve mocked in a very poor interpretation of the southern Ireland accent.

    'You can't do Irish.' Moraid reminded him. 'It's musical and you're tone deaf. Anyway I thought you might want to give it a go.'

    'Me?' Steve snorted. 'I don't believe in all that old shit.'

    'Exactly, so what's your problem?' She smiled.

    'Well, I mean, it's weird isn't it?' He shrugged.

    'Not for you it isn't.' Moraid explained with a sigh. 'Because you don't believe in it, so it can't be can it?' She leaned over the arm of the sofa to the coffee table and picked up the phone.

    'You're not going to ring it?' Steve asked, leaning across her to steal the phone from her hand. 'Are you mad?' Moraid wriggled the phone free of him and continued glancing to and from the paper while punching in the numbers.

    '… And six, six, six.' She mumbled, tapping the last three digits.

    'Six, six, six!' Steve moaned. 'You're joking!'

    'Of course I am.' Moraid laughed. She held the phone to her ear. 'It's ringing.' She smiled, her grey eyes twinkling. Suddenly her expression darkened and she quickly ended the call, placing

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