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    But Wait.... There's More! #3
    But Wait.... There's More! #3
    But Wait.... There's More! #3
    Ebook128 pages59 minutes

    But Wait.... There's More! #3

    By Harvey Jacobs

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    About this ebook

    A trio of promotional stories from the genius of humorous, fantastical, surreal stories.
    But Wait #1 and #3 are available for the lowest cost possible! Yes, blatantly to get you hooked on Harvey's work. :) But Wait #2 has 8 more stories, which cost just a little bit, which, deliberately being in the middle of two free collections to tickle your OCD need for completeness to get you to spring for, you'll be glad you did. :)

    His novels have been called "A masterpiece...arguably this year's best novel" by Kirkus Reviews and "inspired" by TIME Magazine. His beloved short fiction has appeared in a wide spectrum of magazines in the USA and abroad including Esquire, The Paris Review, Playboy, Fantasy & Science Fiction, New Worlds, and many anthologies. He received a fellowship from the National Endowment for the Arts, a New York Arts Council CAPS award for drama, a Playboy Fiction Award, and a Writers Guild of America script award.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherReAnimus Press
    Release dateJan 10, 2017
    ISBN9781370140589
    But Wait.... There's More! #3
    Author

    Harvey Jacobs

    Harvey Jacobs is the award-winning author of "American Goliath" ("An inspired novel"—TIME Magazine). His short fiction has appeared in a wide spectrum of magazines in the USA and abroad including Esquire, The Paris Review, Playboy, Fantasy & Science Fiction, New Worlds, and many anthologies. In addition to the novels and short stories, he has written widely for television, the Earplay Project for radio drama, and helped create and name the Obie Awards for the Village Voice. He was publisher of the counterculture newspaper, East. He received a fellowship from the National Endowment for the Arts, a New York Arts Council CAPS award for drama, a Playboy Fiction Award, and a Writers Guild of America script award. REVIEWS OF THE AUTHOR'S PREVIOUS BOOKS A cheerful celebration of a big American myth... An inspired novel. —TIME Magazine Bells clanging, lights aflash, the plot's ball bangs and rebounds. . . . A wonderful and wonderfully funny book. —James Sallis LA Times His characters are haunting. . . . I have rarely enjoyed finding a writer as much as I have enjoyed my own discovery of Jacobs. —Robert Cromie Chicago Tribune He manages to satirize our all-too-human foibles and failures without becoming too blackly unforgiving. —Thomas M. Disch Washington Post Quietly amused, wry approach that gives distinction to Mr. Jacobs' work . . . his dry humor would be hard to improve on. —Elizabeth Easton The Saturday Review A wonderfully engrossing read. . . . I recommend it to everyone who has given up of ever again being entertained at such a high level of aspiration. —Michael Moorcock A bawdy, joyous romp . . . it's a wonderful book. —Jack Dann Look upon the amazing world of Harvey Jacobs! Come one, come all, for an experience never to be forgotten! —Fred Chappell Like Doctorow's Ragtime and George R. R. Martin's Fevre Dream, it's totally realized. —Howard Waldrop A great book should aspire (and succeed) in making you laugh, making you cry and just maybe, making you think. . . . Harvey's novels will do all that. —John Pelan

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      Book preview

      But Wait.... There's More! #3 - Harvey Jacobs

      BUT WAIT.... THERE'S MORE! #3

      by

      HARVEY JACOBS

      Produced by ReAnimus Press

      Other books by Harvey Jacobs:

      Beautiful Soup

      Side Effects

      American Goliath

      Coming soon: The Egg of the Glak, by Harvey Jacobs

      Coming soon: The Juror, by Harvey Jacobs

      But Wait.... There's More! #1

      But Wait.... There's More! #2

      © 2017 by Harvey Jacobs. All rights reserved.

      http://ReAnimus.com/store?author=harveyjacobs

      Smashwords Edition License Notes

      This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person. If you're reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

      Table of Contents

      THE FABULOUS FOLLICLE

      JADEN

      THE RETRIEVER

      ABOUT THE AUTHOR

      THE FABULOUS FOLLICLE

      The secret of business success? Find a need and fill it!

      —Bernard Baruch

      Morris Fein had worked as a barber for most of his adult life but always as an employee and never an entrepreneur. Now that he was about to turn sixty, he felt pressured to become his own boss. He certainly had mastered the required skills; he liked to say he could trim the fuzz off a peach blindfolded. He tried it once in the privacy of his kitchen and it was true. The peach had a crisp crew cut and a neat pair of synchronized sideburns.

      Morris was pleased with himself but leaving a legacy of beautifully barbered peaches was not enough.

      He decided to take the plunge and open a shop with his own name on the door: Owned & Operated by Morris Fein. Over the years, he’d managed to save almost enough seed money to realize that dream. When his wife understood how much Morris wanted and needed to follow the dictates of his ambitious heart, she gave the venture her full support. She thought of becoming the resident manicurist in due time but not until Morris had established the business on his own. She devoted herself to helping Morris find an investor to bridge the money gap.

      Meanwhile, Morris searched out a likely location convenient for his loyal clients to reach. It didn’t take long to slam into the reality of impossibly high rents at the better trafficked malls. One afternoon, depressed by his futile search, he stopped for coffee and donuts at a small luncheonette. The owner of the place, who also worked behind the counter, could see that Morris was trapped in a heavy sulk. Being a friendly sort, he quickly discovered the reason for Morris’s misery.

      Listen, the owner said, When I opened my first place, I started in an area not exactly central. I had to offer something that would attract customers with some gimmick strong enough to make them walk a few extra blocks to find me. I sacrificed the pleasure of seeing my name blinking on a neon sign in exchange for finding a better magnet to bring them in without stopping at Starbucks.

      So what did you end up doing? Morris said.

      "I didn’t end up. I started and kept going and growing. A sudden inspiration hit me to name my place Aunt Jenny’s, Home of the Smiling Donut. From the first week, I knew I had a winner. This is my third shop and the franchise is booming. I mean, how come you decided to come into my store when I have six competitors in walking distance from here, including a fancy cupcake joint?"

      I saw your billboard with the picture of Aunt Jenny smiling back at a happy looking donut. It seems sincere. It drew me in.

      Exactly. Forget about location, location, location. Wherever you set up your business, sell your uniqueness. And advertise. Remember to spread your slogan around.

      Morris left the Home of the Smiling Donut, his head swirling with unfocused excitement. He called his wife just to touch base and heard the same excitement in her voice. Before he could say a word, she said, Morris, whatever I am, you know I’m a realist, I don’t believe in weird creatures and the like.

      You’re the most practical, down-to-earth lady I know. So what else is new? Morris said.

      Well, I met a woman at my yoga class, Mrs. Trankxyona, who claims to be a mystic and I think it’s the truth. Three of the students swear she predicted events in the future or came up with amazing advice about health, relationships and even stock market picks that were exactly on-target.

      Fine, Morris said. What has this got to do with me? The only advice I got was from a guy who sells smiling donuts with little eyes and curled-up mouths made of frosting. No luck on vacant property.

      "I made an appointment for you with. She hardly ever takes on

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