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    Perception: Change the Way You See Things and the Things You See Change
    Perception: Change the Way You See Things and the Things You See Change
    Perception: Change the Way You See Things and the Things You See Change
    Ebook107 pages1 hour

    Perception: Change the Way You See Things and the Things You See Change

    By Brian Joyce

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    About this ebook

    Perception is reality, but you can change your perceptions, ergo, you can change your reality. This book is about how to look at the same circumstances and choosing to see them differently, react differently and produce different results. It isn't all just positive thinking either, although that helps, it's more about how to face the harsh realities in life and CHOOSING to see them in a way that will have an impact that you prefer. It's filled with experiential stories and examples as well as realistic techniques you can apply to shift your thinking.
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherBookBaby
    Release dateDec 30, 2016
    ISBN9781483590998
    Perception: Change the Way You See Things and the Things You See Change

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      Book preview

      Perception - Brian Joyce

      Way

      Chapter 1

      YOUR STORY;

      THERE IS NO POWER IN BEING A VICTIM

      In 2008 I visited a life coaching school in Delaware to inquire about becoming a coach. During the initial consultation I was asked by the owner of the school to tell a little about myself and my reasoning for wanting to coach. I did what I had always done and went on about my tragic past and all I had been through and overcome. He let me ramble on for a short time, stopped me mid-sentence and said, very arrogantly, I thought at the time, Stop. Please… That’s your story, we all have one. So, again why do you want to become a life coach? As I sat there a little stunned, I drew a momentary blank. He recognized how uncomfortable I was without my story as the headline and asked again. He continued to dig a little deeper and initially the conversation turned to the purpose of my wanting to be a coach and not what had happened to me prior.

      We came to the conclusion I was already coaching based on my management style, my first book and overall philosophy as I conveyed it. I just wasn’t trained as to how to use those skills in a more targeted way to help others. I also wasn’t certified or getting paid specifically to life coach. I was still tying myself to my story as though it was who I was. I was using myself as a cautionary tale instead of as an example. Feeling not quite sure of what had just occurred, I agreed to think it over and let him know if I was going to pursue coaching.

      Coincidentally (if you believe in coincidence), I listened to an audio book soon after that meeting and the speaker asked, What was the worst movie you ever saw? Yellow Beard! I yelled out in my head. Then he asked, Okay, how many times did you go back to the movie theater to see it again? How many times have you rented it since then? I of course laughed to myself and said, None, I didn’t even make it through the first time I watched it because it was so bad. Why would I see it again? As if he were having a conversation with only me, he said, I don’t know why you would see it again; maybe for the same reason you are choosing to re-live your past over and over again. It sucks, you know the ending, you can’t change it, but you keep choosing to re-hash it over and over and over… for what? What is the payoff? Whoa! I was stunned and I couldn’t think of an answer. It was just the truth. It’s who I was, wasn’t it? He then said very softly and compassionately through my car’s speakers, There is no power in being a victim my friends.

      As I drove home it began to sink in. I put my ego aside and tried to figure out what just happened in these two back to back conversations if you will with the owner of the life coaching school and this audiobook.

      I didn’t sleep well for a few days and really needed to figure out if this guy from the life coaching school was just a pompous jerk feeding his ego at my expense, and if the audio book was wrong too; Or, was I for the first time staring the truth in the face? I needed to see if all of what I had compiled as my life and who I was was really just a huge sympathy card I had been writing for myself; as a way to cast a line out so that I had something to wear as a badge to say who I was.

      As I continued to dissect my story I realized it wasn’t who I was, it was only what happened to me. I allowed what happened to me to be me, and it wasn’t me. Wow, this guy was right on the money, I thought. But, if I strip away my story, then who am I? I felt a moment of total inadequacy. I was telling the story of my life, because what I was wasn’t enough. Ouch! As I would find out though, I was enough, we all are, but every time I fed my story I was enabling myself to not deal with who I really was.

      If you can’t grasp letting go of being a victim, there is no point in trying to move forward until you can, so I figured we may as well start here. For many years I couldn’t grasp that idea and thought I found power in the story I told myself and anyone who would listen. If you want to rehash my tragic story you can read my first book, but I had to look past that eventually. I had to stop CHOOSING to replay the same tragic moments of my life over and over again to find who I was. Choosing is the optimal word because that is the part we control. We can’t always choose what happens, but we can always choose how we deal with what happens, and that, as I discovered, is much more who you are than what happened to you.

      A friend once told me, if you were sitting at a table with a bunch of people and everyone laid the cards of their lives out on the table, you’d be shocked at what most people endure at points in their lives. We all have a story and some are truly heart wrenching, but the what can’t be confused with the who you are no matter what happens to you.

      Many times the what a person is, can be brought out in the worst of times. Many people have experienced great hardships in their lives which taught them to be better and forced them to find the greatness within themselves. There are many, many examples of these kinds of people who fought against all odds through what seemed to be insurmountable circumstances to become great.

      Nelson Mandela spent 27 years in prison standing against the injustices in South Africa. He eventually became the leader of that country. Could he have said Woe is me, look what they are doing to me; I can’t do anything against the power that imprisoned me; I am a victim of the government oppression. He could have done that, and many would have, but he didn’t. Had he given in and been a victim we would have never heard from him again. And why did he not wither away or stay silent was intended by the government’s imprisonment intended? He refused to be a victim.

      Excuses are the nails used to build a house of failure.

      I’m a collector of quotes and my son gave me this quote a few years ago, Excuses are the nails used to build a house of failure. I just loved it. I’ve incorporated it into the arsenal of quotes I use in managing business. It helps others recognize the damage they are doing to themselves and others by always using excuses for what they fail to accomplish. Lack of accountability in life is what holds most people back from greatness and is unfortunately very prevalent in our world today. Just think about how many law suits are filed by Americans every year which blame someone else for what happened to them; how many criminals actually say they were wronged? There’s a couple million innocent people in our prison system, just ask them. You can’t move forward without being honest with

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