Judas Kiss: The Dream Catcher Diaries

Part One...

July 2060 – August 2061...

My child is your child and yours is mine...

This is the substrata way.

Chapter 1

Monday 19 July, 2060

Galmpton Court

Mathew Fuller stepped out into the pool area. His sister, Suzanne, already lay on one of the sunbeds, sunning herself in the hot afternoon sun. A servant was bending down, with a net in his hand, cleaning out insects from the surface of the bright turquoise water.

Mathew paused for a moment, taking in the scene. He had been six years old when his father had sent him to Hobbs Academy. In the last twelve years, he had been home only once, when he was recovering from an operation. That was the time he had beaten a substrata stableman senseless and when Martin Harrison had given him Starburst as a present.

Twelve years was a long time for an eighteen-year-old. Hobbs was more familiar to him than home, and yet Hobbs was now his past. It still felt unreal. His surroundings recognisable and yet different; nothing changed and everything changed. He was seeing his home, not with the eyes of a child, but with the eyes of a man, and therein lay the difference.

He glanced across to his sister. She had sat up when he came out and was gazing at him nervously. She looked like her mother. She was pretty but edgy. She treated the world with anxious wariness. At sixteen, she had not yet been to Finishing School and so lacked the polish of older Madison girls. If she truly were her mother’s daughter, even Finishing School would fail to take away her caution and nerves.

Mathew walked across the paved patio and threw a towel onto another sunbed, one near his sister.

‘You’re so handsome!’ cried Suzanne, still staring at him. ‘I don’t know what to say to you. You were a boy when we last met.’

Mathew walked closer to the edge of the pool. He turned his back to the pool to face her. ‘I’m a Madison male in my prime,’ he said. ‘I’m your superior in every respect. You know exactly what to do. You do what I tell you. If I say jump, you jump. It’s easy for you. You merely obey.’

‘Yes, Mathew,’ she said.

He held out his hand.

Quickly, she scrambled out of the sunbed and came across to him.

He took her hand in his and pulled her to him. ‘Jump,’ he said.

‘What?’

He inclined his head, indicating the pool. ‘Jump into the pool with me.’

‘But I can’t swim,’ she stammered.

He looked into her blue eyes. They were blue but not the same as his. They were her mother’s eyes, pale and watery. They lacked his intensity. ‘I know,’ he said. ‘Now jump.’

She opened her mouth to protest, but before she could do so he had taken hold of both her arms in his powerful hands and had lifted her up and thrown her in.

It was the deep end of the pool. She sank like a stone, gulping in huge amounts of water as she did so. She was sure she would drown. The world became muffled and confused. Her sight became blurred, and her body refused to do what she wanted it to do.

Desperately she flailed about.

Suddenly she found herself on the surface again. She lifted her head up into the bright sunshine, splashing and struggling for air and was about to sink once more when hands held her up; strong hands clasped her under her arms and across her chest. Mathew was next to her, giving her urgent instructions.

‘Relax,’ he said. ‘And kick.’

She began to kick, but she could never relax.

‘Move your arms,’ he said.

She knew the theory. She had seen others swim. She began to move her arms about. ‘Don’t let go,’ she gasped. He didn’t let go, but he didn’t let her out of the pool either. Not until he was satisfied she had made some progress.

At last, they were out of the pool and she lay inelegantly on her stomach panting for breath. Mathew stood by her. ‘You!’ he shouted to the servant who had stood watching, open mouthed in amazement. He jumped to attention. ‘Get us towels,’ said Mathew. Towels were brought. Mathew grabbed them. ‘What’s your name, boy?’ he asked.

The servant, who must have been a good twenty years Mathew’s senior, said, ‘Holban, sir.’

Mathew nodded curtly. He bent down to Suzanne, who still lay on the ground dazed and afraid, and threw a towel over her. ‘We’ll have another lesson tomorrow,’ he said.

‘Yes, Mathew,’ said Suzanne, slowly sitting up.

Mathew gazed down at her. ‘And next time, when I say jump, you jump – do you understand?’

‘Yes, Mathew,’ said Suzanne.

‘You remember this, little sister. I’m back now, and you’ll always obey me. Do you understand that as well?’

She nodded, still weak.

He stood up. ‘Good, now get us some iced tea.’

She staggered to her feet and went tottering off.

‘Suzanne!’

She turned round. Mathew indicated the servant.

She blushed. ‘Holban,’ she said nervously, ‘iced tea, please.’

Holban disappeared to fetch the tea.

Mathew frowned.

‘Is that alright?’ she asked.

‘You never say please to the substrata,’ he said curtly.

‘No, Mathew,’ said Suzanne.

Chapter 2

Monday 6 September, 2060

The Red House

‘He never listens to me!’

‘What?’ I wasn’t listening.

‘Nobody listens to me.’

I sat back in my chair and gave Robert the attention he thought he deserved. ‘You look tired,’ I said.

He sat down heavily. ‘I feel old.’

‘You’re not even seventy yet.’

‘I’m seventy-three,’ he corrected.

‘You don’t look it.’

‘You just said I look tired!’

‘Tired, not old.’

‘Dad was seventy-two when he died.’

‘You’re not Dad,’ I said briskly. ‘I expect I’ll die before you.’

‘Not funny.’ He sighed, and I knew he was thinking about Daniel and Ian as well as our father. He missed them both very much – we all did.

‘Anyway, who never listens to you?’ I asked, giving him the benefit of my full attention.

‘My son – who else?’

‘Robert!’

He held his hand up. ‘Don’t state the obvious.’

I grinned at him. ‘What now?’

‘The Jenson method.’

I groaned. ‘Not that again!’

‘Yes, that again. I think he should try it.’

‘You’re talking to someone who refuses operations. I hope you don’t expect me to try to persuade him.’

‘Not the same!’ protested Robert. ‘We nearly lost you when Simeon last took his knife to you. This is different. If Davey tries this, he has nothing to lose and everything to gain.’

I said nothing.

‘Alexander, would you ...’

‘No!’

‘Alexander!’

Absolutely not!’

That was my final word on the subject. I meant it, I really did. Therefore, I have no idea how I came to be wheeling myself into Davey’s study ten minutes later to persuade him to undertake an eye operation.

********************

It was early in September, and we were about to lose three of our young members: Robbie, Gina and Adam were leaving to go to university. The house felt tense with expectation. Robbie was surly because Gina would be at a separate university, and I was already preparing to mourn the passing of an era. Life would never be the same after this. I had no idea how much life was about to change for all of us.

Meanwhile, Robert was fighting his battle with Davey. Back in July, he had discovered Mr Jenson and his claim that he could cure specific types of blindness. Not many, it was true, but enough to interest Robert, who was always looking out for miracle cures for Davey. Therefore, he had investigated the man’s claims and found them sound. He had sent James to seek him out, and the report back was more than encouraging. Mr Jenson could cure a few specific cases of blindness, so few they hardly rated a mention in the medical journals. However, it seemed that Davey could be one of the lucky few. The more James looked into it, the better it got. Not only did Davey appear to qualify medically, but also the risks were minor. The operation might fail, but did that matter? Davey was completely blind, and his life was not at risk. Davey could, as Robert so rightly claimed, only benefit. He could gain some if not all of his sight.

Robert and James had given this news to Davey and, to everyone’s surprise, Davey was not interested. Robert shouted at first, argued and shouted again, all to no avail. He just wasn’t interested. James tried, Lydia tried and so did Dianne, but he resolutely refused to countenance it.

That was when Robert seemed to collapse – and, it has to be said, age.

I’d kept out of it. I made it clear from the start, it should be Davey’s decision. Although I have to admit, I expected him to change his mind. However, he didn’t; in fact, he refused to speak about it at all.

Robert didn’t give up though. Ever since Davey had lost his sight all those years ago, he had never given up. He could not accept Davey’s refusal and so had come to me. And I had reluctantly agreed to try to persuade Davey to undertake the operation.

Robert watched me go, and I know he watched believing I would succeed. I could feel his belief weigh me down as I went in.

‘The young ones will be going soon,’ I began tentatively. Davey shrugged his shoulders. He appeared unaffected by the impending change. ‘I’ll miss them,’ I continued.

‘You’ll get used to it. You still have Angus and Lizzy.’

‘True.’ I sat wondering what to say next.

‘Did Dad send you?’ asked Davey shrewdly

‘I work in this office too.’

‘Alexander, get on with it. I’m busy.’

‘Why the fuck don’t you want this operation?’

He sat silent for a while. ‘I’m scared,’ he said.

‘There’s no risk, and I don’t think it’s even that painful.’

‘Obviously, it’s painful!’ he snorted.

‘Well, maybe a little ...’

‘Alexander, you operate on someone’s eyes – it’s going to hurt.’

‘Okay, so it’ll hurt, but afterwards ...’

‘It’s the afterwards that really scares me.’

I waited, puzzled.

He continued. ‘I’m not sure I want to see again. I’m scared of what I may see, what things will look like. I understand my world. I rather like it. I’m scared of yours.’

Now I understood. ‘Except, I’ll be here, Davey, now and for ever, just as I promised before. You don’t need to be afraid if I’m around.’

He paused for a microsecond. ‘Alright,’ he said. ‘I’ll do it.’

It really was that easy. I persuaded Davey to undertake an eye operation that would very nearly destroy us all.

Chapter 3

Elmscott House

‘Henry, how nice to see you again. Not brought Mathew with you?’ Harrison held out his hands in welcome.

Henry Fuller frowned. ‘I don’t bring boys to men’s gatherings,’ he said, glancing round him as he did so.

‘Such a pity,’ said Harrison. ‘We’ve the Vice-Chancellor here tonight, Professor Coombs, newly appointed to Cambridge. There’s been something of a shake up there, I understand.’

‘You should know!’ chuckled someone nearby.

Fuller turned round and frowned once more. It was Victor Romano. ‘Mr Romano,’ said Fuller formally.

‘Please, call me Victor.’ Fuller’s frown deepened, and he moved away.

‘Your friend doesn’t like me very much,’ said Victor to Harrison.

‘He is what he is,’ said Harrison dismissively. ‘Although it’s a pity he didn’t bring Mathew. I’d like you to meet him. He’s a bright boy and about to start at Cambridge. This is my last chance to see him for some time.’

‘I heard you were leaving.’

‘A long planned trip to the US,’ said Harrison. ‘I have contacts there I need to catch up with.’

‘I heard you weren’t coming back.’

‘And leave my beautiful house?’ Harrison waved his arm to encompass the beauty of Elmscott. ‘No, I’ll be back, but it may be some time, at least a year.’

‘You’ll be sadly missed. We’ve had a few setbacks.’

‘And a few successes; don’t forget the humming bird.’

Victor laughed. ‘And Cambridge.’

‘Oh, nothing to do with me, really.’

‘It’s known you have some influence on who is appointed onto the University Council.’

Harrison smiled modestly.

‘So what have you done?’ Fuller had drifted back, lured by the presence that was Harrison.

‘I’ve done nothing but make a few obvious suggestions, which they were kind enough to take up,’ said Harrison.

Fuller looked intrigued.

We have a problem with our colleges and universities,’ explained Victor. ‘They haven’t followed the examples of the schools.’

‘They didn’t seem to think it was necessary,’ said Harrison.

‘They didn’t expect any substrata to get through the system,’ said Victor. ‘The schools have already made progress in rationalising what is taught to whom. They no longer waste time, energy or resources on the substrata, educating them beyond their expectations. We’ve a system of checks and measures in place, both formal and informal, which curtails any, shall we say, unrealistic ambitions. The right amount of time is now given to the right children. We call it proportional allocation.’

‘Yes, yes, I know all about that.’ said Fuller impatiently.

‘Well, the colleges and universities have been instructing staff to treat everyone equally,’ said Harrison.

‘I thought we had segregated areas!’ spluttered Fuller. ‘You don’t mean to tell me my son will be sharing space with a bunch of substrata scum!’

‘We do have segregated areas, but, in the classroom, all contributions have been treated equally,’ said Harrison, ‘which means, theoretically, that a blue can still succeed.’

‘And does this happen?’

‘We’ve been reliably informed that it does, and you don’t need me to tell you the implications. Substrata are still succeeding; they’re still gaining qualifications. They may, in some cases, still be outclassing our own boys.’

‘And there are females all over the place,’ added Victor. He had a daughter himself, and he had kept her firmly ignorant.

‘The colleges and universities have made the assumption that, if schools carried out their proportional allocation efficiently, we wouldn’t have any blues moving into further education. But I’m afraid it’ll take more than that to change decades of misguided liberalism.’

‘Look how long it took us to cleanse the Eastern Europeans!’

‘And the others.’

‘Giving Britain back to the British has proved a long and difficult task.’

‘We kept at it though.’

‘There was a time, not so long ago, when the count for foreign-borns was rising out of all control.’

‘We haven’t won the battle yet,’ said Harrison. ‘One of my reasons for going to the US is to talk to them about how they rid themselves of the Hispanics.’

‘But what about Cambridge?’ demanded Fuller.

‘Oh, that,’ said Harrison. ‘All under control; they’ll adopt the same system as the schools. Any contribution in class will be down-graded or ignored, marks will be altered to suit the status of the individual and assumptions of cheating will be taken when any blue appears to be doing well.’

‘If we can’t stop them getting in, we can make sure that it’s a waste of time them staying,’ said Victor with some satisfaction.

‘I don’t see why we can’t ban them from the start – no blues and no females, simple enough.’

‘Oh, Henry, it will happen – and sooner than you think,’ said Harrison with a smile.

‘Meanwhile, he buggers off to America,’ said Victor.

Fuller frowned again. He disapproved of swearing, and he certainly disapproved of Italians.

Chapter 4

Tuesday 5 October 2060

Trinity College, Cambridge

It was a busy time for all our children. Adam, Jacob, Robbie and Gina all left for university, to a different life and a different set of rules. Adam, though a red, chose to temporarily downgrade his status so that he could share a cell with Robbie. Yes, I did say cell. The accommodation at Cambridge and Oxford was clearly defined. Apartments for the golds, rooms for the reds and cells for the few blues who had made it through a school system designed to ensure they did not succeed. There were not many of them, but those who made it were awarded tiny rooms not much bigger than a prison cell and just as basic. Robbie and Adam had a bigger cell because there were two of them. Even offering more money couldn’t buy them better accommodation. You can’t buy your way through dogma – not at Cambridge, anyway.

Like Adam, Gina had red status, but, because Robbie would be visiting her at Oxford, she also had to accept a cell, rather than the more comfortable room. Robbie was furious on her behalf. She was philosophical.

Robert and James went with them to Trinity after dropping Gina off at Oxford. They were both amazed at the difference in the university they had known themselves as students. Robert stood in the Great Court and gazed in astonishment. ‘It’s the same, and yet it’s completely different,’ he said.

James stood by and smiled. ‘Yes, it is.’

‘We were all equal then,’ said Robert. ‘We had all sorts, different cultures, different disabilities and sexual orientation. None of it mattered really – something to celebrate.’

James looked dubious. ‘It wasn’t like that for me, but it wasn’t like this either. Granddad, our boys are going to struggle, especially Robbie ...’

Robert held up his hand. ‘Tell me about it, but they’re going to have to be strong. Stronger than I had to be, stronger even than you.’

‘Me? I just had a good time!’ laughed James.

Robert was suddenly overwhelmed with guilt. He had partied as a student, run up huge debts for a father who had very little money, and had still come top of his year. He had found everything too easy. Something you couldn’t claim for their children.

At that moment, Adam and Robbie joined them. ‘What do you think?’ asked Robert cautiously, dreading the reply.

‘Brilliant!’ said Adam.

Robert said nothing; the one thing that had not changed was the exuberance of students.

********************

Mathew Fuller walked into his apartment and looked around with a quiet sense of satisfaction. Two men carrying heavy boxes followed him. ‘Where should they put the boxes, sir,’ asked a deferential warden.

‘They know what they’re doing,’ said Mathew. ‘They have their instructions.’

‘Yes, sir. Is there anything else?’

‘No, I know my way around. I may use the gym later. Is it open?’

‘Yes, sir.’

Mathew turned away. The warden knew he’d been dismissed. Mathew wandered across to the window and stared out at the Great Court. ‘What a moment,’ he said. The warden came over. ‘Who are those people?’

The warden gazed down and frowned. ‘Blues, sir – we have to take a small percentage ...’

Mathew turned his ice cold eyes on him. ‘Are you seriously telling me that we have blue students here at Trinity?’

‘Yes, sir, I’m afraid so.’ The warden squirmed under the intense scrutiny and hurried on. ‘We don’t have as many as other universities. All the Russell Group have exemptions, but we’ve had to take some. Don’t worry, sir; we have clearly defined areas. They have separate eating areas, separate toilets; everything has been segregated to avoid any possible contamination.’

‘I hope they don’t have access to the gym.’

‘No, sir, that wouldn’t be proper; they’re excluded from all recreational areas, including the bars and sports facilities. They are not allowed to join any of the societies, debating forums or politics. We keep them under strict control. They have to keep within set limits throughout the university and are confined to eating only in the cafeteria opposite the hall. They can’t, of course, attend formal hall. You’ll see blue lines marking out their areas. You have to with this sort.’

‘I expected a certain percentage of reds, but never blues – it’s very disappointing.’

‘Yes, sir, I’m sorry.’

‘Well, at least there aren’t likely to be any in my class.’

‘I have no idea, sir. Would you like me to check?’

‘That won’t be necessary.’

‘And if there were any,’ said the warden, keen to reassure, ‘they’re kept in a separate part of the classroom and are not allowed to speak or play a part in class activities without express permission.’

Mathew nodded, still frowning. He turned away to gaze once more out of the window, down at Robert, James, Adam and Robbie. To his surprise, the blues were being greeted by one of the professors.

********************

‘Well, I don’t believe it, if it isn’t the Patricks!’

It was a familiar and welcome voice. Robert and James turned round with pleasure to see Jed Palmer approach them.

Jed Palmer had been one of the few students to make friends with Davey when he had been a student at Cambridge. He had been a small, pale, uninspiring young man, with glasses, thin hair and a high voice. He had struggled to make friends himself and had met Davey through the chess club. He had a brilliant mind, though, and had never left the university. He studied up to his PhD and beyond, eventually gaining his professorship in Classics. He had stayed in touch with Davey, although they had met infrequently. He had been a friend for James when he was a student, extracting him from numerous scrapes. This must have been his first thought when he saw two more Patrick students.

‘Oh, no!’ he laughed. ‘More trouble!’ He looked around him. ‘Where’s David? Didn’t he come as well?’

‘Have you heard from him recently?’ asked Robert.

‘Not really,’ said Jed. ‘Heard he was going for an eye operation though – is that true?’

‘We hope so,’ said Robert. ‘Jed, can we talk?’

‘Sure, come up to my rooms for tea.’ They all walked off together.

Mathew Fuller observed it all.

********************

Jed poured tea for Robert and James. Adam and Robbie made their excuses and left to go looking for Jacob. That suited Robert fine. ‘You have three to care for this time,’ he explained.

Jed sat down thoughtfully. He had grown from a pale small boy with thin hair into a pale large man with no hair, but he had retained his good-natured smile and heart. ‘They’re going to find it tough,’ he said sadly.

‘We saw the demarcation,’ said James. ‘They have to watch where they go all the time.’

‘Even if they want a piss,’ said Robert indignantly.

‘It’s important they obey these petty rules,’ said Jed. ‘They’ll find any excuse to expel blue students, and the wardens watch them like hawks.’

‘Robbie’s going to struggle,’ said Robert.

‘He’ll have Adam and Jacob to keep him in line. And Gina will still influence him, despite being at Oxford,’ said James.

Jed was staring into his tea. ‘Actually, I wasn’t thinking about that. We’ve brought in new rules in line with the approach taken by the schools.’

‘Meaning ...?’ asked Robert.

‘Basically, meaning they’ll be ignored in class.’

‘Oh, shit!’ muttered Robert.

‘It doesn’t mean they can’t continue, but they are unlikely to pass at the end.’

‘So what’s the point?’ asked James.

Jed shrugged his shoulders. ‘If Adam and Robbie are going to be vets, it’s likely their clients will be blues anyway. They’ll have all the knowledge and skills from being here but not the piece of paper to prove it. Ask yourself whether their blue clients will mind.’

‘Pretty disheartening though, to be ignored, marked down and humiliated at every turn.’ James’s voice echoed his despair.

‘Yes,’ admitted Jed. ‘Pretty disheartening, but they’ve no choice.’ He turned back to Robert. ‘I’m hoping to be elected to the Council myself this year. If and when I am, I’ll try to influence a few people and change or at least amend it. Meantime, your boys are going to have to grit their teeth and get what they can from the system and, most important, keep their noses clean.’

Robert and James looked at each other. ‘Might as well take them home now,’ said James.

‘Save everyone a lot of trouble,’ agreed Robert.

Chapter 5

Eye Hospital

When Robert and James returned from taking the young people to university, Davey left with them and Lydia to visit Mr Jenson, the eye specialist.

‘Funding’s been cut back on this sort of thing, you know,’ Jenson informed James as he examined Davey.

‘Really?’

‘If you want a career in medicine, young man, I’d go for the cosmetics and some of the age related stuff.’

‘I thought I’d try something in your area actually,’ said James.

Jenson was adamant. ‘No future in this sort of stuff,’ he said. ‘If they’d have given me more funding, more support, I think I could have helped more people. As it is ...’

‘As it is, can you help my son?’ asked an impatient Robert, irritated at being ignored.

Jenson turned his watery blue eyes to James. ‘Yes, I can help your father,’ he said.

Robert told me this story when they got home. ‘I’m getting used to it,’ he said in a sulky voice. ‘Not being listened to, that is.’

‘But will he operate on Davey?’

‘Aye, he will, but don’t bother talking to Davey about it; he’s locked himself in his study. But I can tell you this, he’s not backing out of it now.’

James filled me in on the details later. ‘He was an asshole,’ he said.

‘Mr Jenson?’

James nodded. ‘But he knows what he’s doing, despite ignoring Mum and Granddad.’

‘Wanted to talk to the medical man.’

‘Something like that.’

‘Took a liking to you as well did he?’

James laughed. ‘He still knows his stuff.’

‘How did he rate your father’s chances?’

‘High, but, if he does succeed, he said Dad may struggle after the operation to recognise things. His eyes may work, but his brain could be a bit confused. It’ll need time to adapt. It helps that Dad could see until he was eight, of course.’

I felt a sudden lurch inside. For the first time, I realised that Davey was not the only one feeling nervous about his sight returning. For most of my life, he had been deafblind. How would I cope if he could see again? How would any of us cope?

Chapter 6

Tuesday 19 October, 2060

Trinity College, Cambridge

‘So, could anyone tell me what the signs are of BSE in cattle?’

Robbie and Adam pressed their buzzers, but, since they’d been silenced, they made no sound.

‘Mr Fuller?’

Mathew began to list the various characteristics of BSE. He was thorough in his analysis.

‘Excellent, Mr Fuller. Now, gentlemen, if we check the board, we can see that, once again, Mr Fuller is top of the table.’ He checked the clock. ‘Time out; class dismissed. The blues can stay behind and clean up. The rest of you can go.’

Robbie groaned.

Mathew walked out with the rest of the class, and, like the rest of the class, hardly noticed that Adam and Robbie existed.

‘Make sure you clean up properly,’ said Dunn. ‘I’ll be inspecting it.’

‘Fuller left out something when he was listing the signs of BSE,’ said Robbie.

‘And don’t forget the floors this time,’ said Dunn.

‘He only listed six and there are at least eight,’ continued Robbie.

The door slammed shut behind Dunn.

‘Did Fuller really miss something?’ asked Adam.

‘No,’ said Robbie, ‘but I bet Dunn checks just in case. Come on, let’s get this finished.’

They spent nearly an hour cleaning the classroom, and when they had finished they wandered out.

They went in search of Jacob and found him unusually alone. Jacob was in a foul mood. He had bottles of beer lined up in front of him, and he practically snatched the bottle of wine brought in by Robbie. ‘I’m not sure I see the point,’ he grumbled as they settled down. ‘We come, we work hard and we’re ignored. I feel like I’m invisible most of the time – unless I do something wrong, that is.’

‘From what I’ve seen of you and all your bloody women, you don’t behave like an invisible man,’ remarked Adam, reaching for the bottle of wine.

‘You’re jealous,’ said Robbie.

‘You bet I am,’ said Adam. He turned back to Jacob. ‘I don’t suppose I can have some of your cast offs. You don’t keep them for very long. I wouldn’t mind that little plump one.’

‘She’s a red,’ said Jacob.

‘He’s bedding everything except golds,’ said Robbie.

‘There aren’t any female golds here,’ countered Jacob. ‘They’re all at Finishing School.’

‘I wonder what they finish off when they’re there?’ said Adam.

‘How to be good Madison wives.’

‘How to be stupid, you mean.’

Robbie laughed.

‘No, that’s what we’re here for – that and being invisible,’ said Jacob.

‘All we need to do is keep our heads down, learn what we can and hope they don’t catch us out doing something we shouldn’t. We finish the course and then tell them to poke it,’ said Robbie.

‘With nothing to show for it.’

‘With knowledge to show for it.’

‘You may find this hard to believe,’ said Jacob, ‘but I wanted a piece of paper to prove I could practise in court. They won’t let me in without it.’

‘Well, we all know you’re the most important one here, Jacob. You have to finish and, yes, you need to be qualified. You’re our future,’ said Adam.

Jacob looked smug but still disgruntled. He moved across to Adam. ‘Am I really the most important one here?’

‘Ask any of the female students. It’s not me they’re interested in, and they know Robbie’s a married man.’

‘That’s not what I meant.’

‘I have it from the General himself. You need to finish. You’ll be our voice in the future,’ said Robbie.

‘Unless he goes over to the other side,’ added Adam.

‘They wouldn’t have me.’

‘I hope you have a better reason than that.’

‘With my father, what do you think?’

‘I think you should be grateful not to have Mathew Fuller in your class,’ said Robbie.

‘He’s no problem; you’re invisible remember.’

‘We may be invisible, but, if he comments one more time about the substrata smell in the classroom, I’ll bloody hang for him.’

‘No, you won’t,’ said Adam. ‘You’ll have Jacob defending you.’

Jacob laughed. ‘Don’t worry, either of you. When the time comes and you have your day in court, I’ll be there defending you, and I’ll bloody well get you off. Now pass that wine bottle over.’

Chapter 7

Thursday 21 October, 2060

Exeter Eye Hospital

I’ll never forget the day Davey gained his sight. It was a day of redemption for me, a day when I could finally lay down a very old ghost.

I didn’t go to the hospital. I wanted to be there, but I couldn’t; it wouldn’t have been safe. The General was adamant and, for once, Cathie agreed with him. Davey didn’t go alone though; Robert, Lydia and James were all there for him. But not Adam; he knew he wasn’t wanted, so he stayed at Cambridge, and I stayed at home, apprehensive, ready to be happy, and yet afraid that it could all still go wrong.

The operation was short, given what it could achieve, and it went smoothly. After a few days in the hospital, Davey was moved to a specialist care unit closer to home, and then he started the process of allowing his brain to catch up with the novelty of eyes that could see.

Mr Jenson didn’t give Davey one hundred per cent vision, but it was close. He had better eyes than I did. He was apparently a model patient, and his eyes adjusted remarkably quickly. Within weeks, if not days, he was recognising objects and remembering the vision of his childhood. His excellent brain was quick to adapt and understand the new world around him.

Robert and James sent me reports, almost by the hour, detailing his progress. Lydia remained surprisingly silent. I didn’t think it odd at the time. It was only much later that I realised the significance of her silence.

The reports enticed and eventually lured me out of my safety – that and the fact that Davey had repeatedly asked for me to come. He had been told it wasn’t safe for me to travel, but it didn’t stop him asking for me. Perhaps it was this thought that convinced me that the risk was worth taking. And so, against the General’s advice and Cathie’s pleas, I made the journey to the eye unit where Davey was recuperating. I wanted to see my sighted brother too much to stay away any longer.

I travelled and arrived amid elaborate security procedures. The Brotherhood ensured I was muffled up, covered in a blanket and wearing large, heavy sunglasses. I was wheeled in by an anxious Thomas. He came with me all the way. He was my witness.

Davey had not been told I was coming. I was to be a surprise appearance.

Well, I was definitely a surprise.

Outside Davey’s door, Thomas hurriedly divested me of my disguise. I entered the room with a broad smile. Davey was sitting on his bed, with his back to the door. Robert and James were in there with him. They were in the middle of a heated discussion. Robert appeared to be haranguing Davey.

There was an awkward silence as I came in, and Davey turned round. For the first time in over forty years our eyes met. Davey rose to his feet and stared. The smile on my face immediately felt foolish.

‘Who is this?’ asked Davey, voice like ice.

I felt Thomas flinch behind me.

‘Don’t be ridiculous, Davey, it’s Alexander. You’ve done nothing but ask for him since the operation!’ Robert sounded impatient and angry.

Davey turned away from me and my fading grin. ‘That’s not Alexander. Get him out of here.’

There were cries of protest all round. I felt a rise of fury from the ever-protective Thomas.

‘Davey?’ I said, hurt and puzzlement clear in my voice. ‘I am Alexander.’

He couldn’t hear me, but he turned round anyway, his new eyes piercing with contempt, and he looked me up and down. ‘You’re not Alexander. I know what he looks like. I remember him, and you’re not him. Now get out of my room before I have you thrown out.’

‘Davey!’ Robert sounded furious, and James rose angrily to his feet. But I didn’t wait to hear their defence of me. I wheeled myself out of the room.

********************

I sat outside Davey’s room, shaking with humiliation. I sat reliving each moment as if they had lasted an eternity, remembering the disgust in his gaze and the scorn in his voice. Thomas was muttering as he hurriedly began to cover me and hide me from prying eyes. I did nothing to help. I no longer cared.

James came out. In the brief time that the door was open, I could hear Robert’s voice, loud and heated. And then it closed in on their discussion, leaving me in my silent fury. James came over to me. He bent down, gave me a quick hug and sat down heavily.

It seemed I was not the only one to fall victim to Davey’s newfound sight. ‘He doesn’t want anything to do with Mum,’ he said.

‘What?’

‘He called her an ugly old hag.’

I shook my head in disbelief.

‘I think he mentioned fat as well,’ he said. I could feel his sorrow. ‘That and a few other things – reduced her to tears anyway. I didn’t think he’d treat you like that though. I thought at least you ...’

‘So what did he call me?’ I asked. ‘Just now, when I left the room?’

‘You don’t want to know,’ he said.

I could guess. None of the names would have been new to me, except they had never been spoken by Davey before.

‘So what now?’

‘He’s due to come home next week,’ said James. ‘He’ll be in the same house as you and Mum. Perhaps things’ll settle down then.’

Somehow, I doubted it.

I wish I could say now that his disgust, at who and what I was, was temporary, part of his understanding of his new world. I wish I could say that, as he became increasingly confident in his ability to see, then so he recognised me. But I can’t. It was to be a long time before Davey and I would ever be considered friends again.

Chapter 8

Mid-November 2060

The Red House

I was right; things didn’t settle down. In fact they got worse. Davey entered the house with a harsh and critical gaze. Apparently, he had been convinced that I was Alexander. But on his arrival, he came to me and, once again, looked me up and down. ‘You’re my greatest disappointment,’ he said.

‘In what way, Davey?’ I asked.

‘You’re much uglier than I could ever have thought possible,’ he replied.

I said nothing. The pain was too much to allow me to speak.

He sighed. ‘I can’t bear ugly things – such a disappointment.’

The hurt never went away. He made sure it didn’t. He knew he’d wounded me and he didn’t care. In fact, I would say he took pleasure in abusing me and in seeing the flush of pain as a pointed comment hit its mark. At other times, he simply ignored me. I’m not sure what was worst, not to exist, or to be the source of such contempt. Lydia hardly fared any better, and her now permanent, tear-stained face failed to soften his cruel jibes and sarcasm.

It reached its peak in mid-November with a visit from the young people. Davey sneered at Robbie, leered at Gina and stared at Adam. ‘I don’t believe it!’ he said. ‘You’re his brat!’

Adam looked confused. We all did for a while. Davey spun round to me. ‘You fucked my wife and foisted your bastard onto me. You really are a shit, aren’t you?’

He marched out of the room. Lydia burst into tears, and she too ran out of the room. Adam turned to me.

‘No, Adam, don’t even think ...’ I began.

‘Now it all makes sense!’ he muttered, and he too marched out, a determined look on his face and betrayal on his shoulders.

I think Robert must have aged ten years in that afternoon alone.

********************

It couldn’t go on, of course. Davey had stormed out of the room and out of our house as well.

We had no idea what his plans were, but we were soon to find out.

Robert came in to see me with a tragic look on his face. He sat down. ‘There’s no easy way to say this, Alexander,’ he said cautiously, ‘but Davey’s bought Seaview.’

I caught my breath. Seaview was the house that had belonged to my mother. This was the house where she’d been living when she had first met my father. My father had moved in with her, and they were still living there when I was born. It was a house they had both loved. They had only moved out of it because it was too small for two families, and so my parents and Robert had bought the Red House. Davey had lost his sight just before we moved. He remembered Seaview. It had left him with strong visual memories, and he’d often talked about those images. And now he had bought the house and the memories.

‘The bastard!’ I said. He had bought my memories too, precious memories of my mother and father. If anyone should have Seaview, it was me, and then I thought again. He had bought it because it was a house where he had spent the last years of a sighted childhood. He was going back to a happier time. And so my anger dissolved into pity.

I felt pity for him, despite everything.

********************

In