J'APE: Just Another Publicity: How to Publish Your (Kindle) Book for Shameless Self-Promotion and Profit
()
About this ebook
This parody is a sarcastic look at how you can be an "overnight" success - by making it impossible for anyone else to succeed as you set the bar astronomically high.
Learn the 3 Parts to Real eBook Publishing- How to write a book - real quick, shallow, ghost-written.
- How to publish your book - hire someone to do it for cheap, like putting their name on the cover.
- How to sell a book online - using your devoted, Kool-Aid-drinking fan-base to suck-up and give you fake 5-star reviews without having read the book.
Obviously, this is a work of satire and has nothing to do with the real world. And any resemblance to a currently successful bestseller is just a happy coincidence. (Right.)
Solve the Key Factors Which Have Kept You From Publishing Your Book.- Your life is out of Control because you didn't devote yourself to learning celebrity-skills.
- You want to get Approval for everything you do - but that's just the half of it. Find how celebrities can't live without it, so self-publishing puts "Vanity" back into the name.
- You want to have the Security, but really you need to stick to that day job and leave all the PR to PR Artistes who appear on late night info-mercials to sell over-priced junk.
- And you want to Join the group of successful Independent Authors, but except for a few cheaters who stumble into it by accident, the system is rigged to sell only celebrity's books (and cute dressed-up-cat-picture books).
- How to wreck your life and get fired for spending too much time on your book, then falling asleep at work - repeatedly.
- How to ruin your family relationships by getting every relative you know to loan you money and/or write suck-up reviews of your book (and like, and plus, and tweet about it to their friends.)
- Lose any certainty you ever had about how good you are as a writer, because some celebrity comes along with their version of how it "really" works, so no one listens to your advice ever again.
- Discover how a celebrity can suck the air out of a room by just showing up, and how their interviews and PR stunts take the limelight away from struggling unknown indie authors.
- Get access to a "Publishing Success Blueprint" which will make sure you stick to your day job and never try some wacky creative idea ever again!
- And find how the entire publishing industry deck is still stacked against you, so you might as well never try.
Contains actually helpful tips! (Don't tell Richard this, but I included some tactics, strategies, and tips from later research. What you can find out, he doesn't need to know...)
Download Your CopyScroll Up Now and Click Buy Now Button.
Richard Saunders
Richard Saunders is an RCVS Specialist in Zoological Medicine. He has seen first opinion and referral rabbit patients for many years, at a number of practices. He is currently the RWAF (Rabbit Welfare Association and Fund) Veterinary Advisor, and provides support for the veterinary membership on difficult cases. He teaches Rabbit Medicine and Surgery at the University of Bristol, and has contributed several chapters to the BSAVA manuals of Rabbit Medicine, and Rabbit Surgery, Dentistry and Imaging.
Read more from Richard Saunders
Rabbit Behaviour, Health and Care Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsJourney / SecretAgentMan Volume 1: SecretAgentMan Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Space Mouse Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsAnd Then the Murders Began: Classic Literature Bestsellers' Opening Lines ReImagined Darkly Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings
Related to J'APE
Titles in the series (5)
J'APE: Just Another Publicity: How to Publish Your (Kindle) Book for Shameless Self-Promotion and Profit Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsBackwards Book Publishing: Save Time, Earn More, Work Less Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsPLOTTO Genie Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsWriting-Publishing Survival Guide Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMastering Plotto Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings
Related ebooks
Writing to Be Published...and Read Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Zen of Launching Books with Amazon: The Zen-of Series, #1 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsEasy Cash Writing: The Easy Way to Write Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSo You Want to Be a Writer Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsGetting Started as a Freelance Writer Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Montclair Write Group Flash Fiction Anthology 2019 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings5 Steps To Writing A Book That Sells Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsPocketbook Writer: Confessions of a Commercial Hack Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSelf Publish to a World of Readers: with Amazon, Apple, Google and Other Major Retailers Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSelf-Publishing for the Broke Author: How to Edit Your Manuscript, Format Your Book and Create a Killer Cover on Little to No Money Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSurviving 30 Days of Literary Madness Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsNewspaper Gypsy Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSelf-Publishing for Traditionally Published Authors: Method Writing, #2 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsKindle Unlimited: When you need it and when you don't Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsPodcast Library, Vol 5 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Seventeen Traditions: Lessons from an American Childhood Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Bad Writer's Guide to Cheating on Your NaNoWriMo Book Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsCompulsively Writing More Fiction 2012 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsBeyond the Comfort Zone Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings50 Book Promotion Ideas for Authors and Publishers Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Write Like Me: A Guide to Writing Like An Author Who's Already Made All the Mistakes and Learned From Them, #2 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings30-Second Commute, The: A Non-Fiction Comedy about Writing and Working From Home Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Bestseller! How to Write Fiction that Sells Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsI Am Ghost: How to Make a Living as a Ghostwriter Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsGetting Started with Social Media: A Beginners Guide to Marketing Your Brand and Influencing Your Followers Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsHow to Publish Your Book: Tips and Tricks Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsHow to Promote Your Self-Published Kindle Books for Free Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsBlood, Sweat and Ink: The Pleasure and Pain of Writing a Novel Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsWrite Your Way to Success: A Guide to Writing Erotic Fiction Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings
Composition & Creative Writing For You
The Creative Journal: The Art of Finding Yourself: 35th Anniversary Edition Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Positive Trait Thesaurus: A Writer's Guide to Character Attributes Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Negative Trait Thesaurus: A Writer's Guide to Character Flaws Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Letters to a Young Poet Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5THE EMOTIONAL WOUND THESAURUS: A Writer's Guide to Psychological Trauma Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Craft of Research, Fourth Edition Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Writing to Learn: How to Write - and Think - Clearly About Any Subject at All Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Better Grammar in 30 Minutes a Day Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5The Everything Writing Poetry Book: A Practical Guide To Style, Structure, Form, And Expression Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Emotion Thesaurus (Second Edition): A Writer's Guide to Character Expression Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Legal Writing in Plain English: A Text with Exercises Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5101 Best Sex Scenes Ever Written: An Erotic Romp Through Literature for Writers and Readers Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Science of Storytelling: Why Stories Make Us Human and How to Tell Them Better Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Elements of Style, Fourth Edition Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Verbal Judo, Second Edition: The Gentle Art of Persuasion Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Writing to Wake the Soul: Opening the Sacred Conversation Within Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Writing Fiction: A Guide to Narrative Craft Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Wonderbook: The Illustrated Guide to Creating Imaginative Fiction Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Plot Whisperer Book of Writing Prompts: Easy Exercises to Get You Writing Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Elements of Style: The Original Edition Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Rewrite Your Life: Discover Your Truth through the Healing Power of Fiction Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5How to Write a Mystery: A Handbook from Mystery Writers of America Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Pity the Reader: On Writing with Style Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Wordslut: A Feminist Guide to Taking Back the English Language Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5
Reviews for J'APE
0 ratings0 reviews
Book preview
J'APE - Richard Saunders
J'APE: Just Another Publicity Excuse
How to Publish Your (Kindle) Book for Shameless Self-Promotion and Profit
...a parody (also known as: satire)
by Richard Saunders & Robert C. Worstell
Don't visit http://midwestjournalpress.com/japethebook.php for more material and resources – we wouldn't want to get your hopes up...
Copyright © 2016 Midwest Journal Press.
All Rights Reserved.
cover photo credit: NY skyline by wwarby
from flickr
Table of Contents
Bonus
Why You Need to Buy and Read this Book.
(Writing)
How to Write a Book and Die Trying.
Change comes hard to Traditional Publishers
How it works these days
Effetian (Artiste-Anal) Publishing
How to Write a Book that Doesn't Just Suck
Crowd-funding Schmoozing Your Finances
(Publishing)
How to Publish Your Book The Hard Way
Technical details to make your head explode
How to Publish on Amazon, lose money, and bitch.
(Entrepreneur-ing)
How to Lord Your Social Following Over Everyone
Now for the hard work: PR (Don't try this at home. Seriously)
The day of the self-publishing indie author is already over.
How we J'APE'd
this book
Postcript: Three Years Later
About the Authors
Resources
Bibliography
Other books in this series
Related Writing Texts Published by Midwest Journal Press
Additional References
Get Scam Free
Free tools
Paid Tools
Recommended Courses
Related Sites
Special Supplement
The 7 Truths and 5 Falsehoods of Kindle Sales
7 Unknown Success Principles Every Author Uses to Succeed
A Working Guide to Publishing Your Passive Income Empire, Step-By-Step.
Strategy:
The Program:
Disclaimer
Bonus
Bonus
Why You Need to Buy and Read this Book.
[Because you deserve a break from all those serious and pretentious books which tell you all about how to make incredible amounts of money, get outrageous fame, and then retire to some beach-front property to count your millions while sipping non-fattening semi-alcoholic drinks. Oh, yes, you get to write a book to do all this.]
This concept nearly fried my brain. There I was, relaxing after yet another speaking engagement (where people pay me ungodly amounts of money, plus expenses, just to come out on stage and tell everyone how I had the solutions to their problems) and I picked up another magazine (one which didn't have my picture on it) and saw that one of my erstwhile friends had just launched his new book and it was becoming an overnight bestseller.
Immediately, I got on the phone to my agent and demanded to know why I didn't have a bestseller that was climbing the charts?!?
And then he told me something rude: he wanted me to write one.