Sermons from the Grave: Messages of Faith, Hope, and Wisdom from the Ministry of a Funeral Director

Sermons from the Grave

Messages of Faith, Hope, and Wisdom from the ministry of a funeral director

Carl M. Pauc

Copyright ©2017 by Carl M. Pauc

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Photo credit: Alex Abian, Death Messiah via photopin license

Chapters

(Introduction) The Sermon from the Grave

Exile

The Resurrection

Hem of His Garment

Fear of the Dark

Time Machines

Valor

Dying of Laughter

Swan Songs

Epiphany

Sundays at Marble Park

Wanderer's Rest

Parable

Refuge

Exit Strategies

The End is Near!!!

Till Death Do Us Part

Last Words (for those who go first)

Farewell

Until We Meet Again

Epitaph: The sake of Life, Death, and Legacy

Rest In Peace

"If anyone speaks, let him speak as the oracles of God. If anyone ministers, let him do it as with the ability which God supplies, that in all things God may be glorified through Jesus Christ, to whom belong the glory and the dominion forever and ever. Amen"

1 Peter 4:11

"Almost everybody will listen to you when you tell your own story."

Billy Graham

Introduction

The Sermon from the Grave

To begin I must first confess. I am not an ordained minister, but by the work I do as a funeral director, I minister all the same.

Whatever we choose to do in our lives, in whatever field of endeavor, we are given the ability to minister to one another. When we choose a profession or vocation that puts to work all of the talents God bestows on us we will have our work ordained by God. And thus, we all become ministers of God’s grace on earth.

However, for me this was not always the case. At the onset of my career I was a professed atheist and one of God's harshest critics. I championed the idea of letting the world know that God was an absentee landlord who did not avail himself to the world’s problems. Or, if He existed, at least he just didn’t care. To me God was something mythical conjured out of irrational fear, hoping with an irrational hope. Working in an industry that surrounded itself with death by means of violent accidents, murders, suicides, incurable diseases that ravaged the body, the death of children, the ruin of families, and all acts of human suffering did on several occasions beg me to ask the question: Where is God?

I have had the privilege of being able to stand shoulder to shoulder with people at the foot of the graves of those they put to rest. It was there at that place that we would all contemplate the grave’s finality and sense of victory. Together we would hear the solemn, yet reassuring words from God’s ministers of grace and the final farewells from loved ones and friends. The moment was always one of hopeful anticipation; to see the dead once again in a place free from the worlds limitations.

It was a privilege for me to be able to share in this life experience of others at that moment and be their strength and support. It was also in this place that I would continually struggle to understand why so many people still clung to hope, offered prayers, and maintained faith in a God who, to my eyes, was nowhere to be found. For myself, I thought this was absurd. In one of the most vulnerable places on earth where we are disarmed by death I reached out for understanding. I spent many occasions mentally rolling my eyes as I saw people put a lot of spiritual capital in an intangible God. But, as God would have it, that changed over time. I was young and presumed I knew everything that was needed to know at that point, and I didn't. In these final resting places, I had begun to ask myself a new question: What do I believe?

I had to ask myself that because being pessimistic and convinced of an uncaring world without reason or belief started to bother me. I had chosen my profession out of a morbid curiosity I had of the world. It was in the dark recesses of the world that I staked my hopes of understanding it and why I chose a career surrounded by death, loss, and grief. But it wasn’t death that was compelling me, but rather a need to understand life. And what better way to get a clear perspective on life than to share in the experiences of other people, both living and dead. You can learn much about someone else’s life by having it illustrated to you by their family and friends once that person has died. So much from one person's life can truly effect the lives of others in this act of shared experience we call life.

I began to realize that it was no accident that I chose my profession. Funeral service for me was not the answer, but rather the catalyst. It would serve as an instrument to gain understanding, learn and respect the value of my life and others, and eventually, why God created it. I did not know it but God planted the desire in me, and I needed to stand at the foot of my own grave and contemplate what my life will leave behind.

We all stand at the foot of our own graves. It is no mystery that we all will die someday. All of us will become a casualty in this world for having been given a life. So then how prepared are we to accept our death, what we’ve done in the body, and how others will deem it worthy of remembrance? Someday others will gather around our final resting place to speak back into existence a life that was lived; a life that transcends death into life eternal.

If we could ever be given the chance, what would we say about ourselves if we stood at the foot of our own grave? What sermon could we deliver, or message of hope? What account could we make of ourselves before we enter the grave as to what we’ve done in the body knowing that we must give the same account before God as to the stewardship of the life he gave us? Can we ask ourselves: "Am I worthy of the kingdom of God?" We need to know that answer, because regret is a terrible way to die. The grave is wisdom. And of all the mentors I had in my life, and they were few, the grave remains the most indelible.

The grave, in its silence, offers its own sermon. It compels us to consider faith over finality; our meaning and our mortality; life after death. It asks us a simple question, "What do you leave behind?" We all know the importance of what others mean to us once we lose them to the grave. It is there we begin to ponder what our own significance will mean to others when we too are gone. God gave us one life to be worthy of both memory and eternity.

I found myself in the teetering position of the will to live or the will to die. I needed to know what my life meant, what was its direction, and to have something to believe in. I soon realized what was happening in my life. I realized that I was being ministered by the very profession that I thought served my doubts. I also realized that in the presence of the families that I served I was also being ministered to and prayed over by the intercession of their faith in God. In truth, the God that I disdained had put me in a place where my profession would serve Him, and gift me with the task of ministering to others by my work. I was given a purpose for not giving myself one.

In the grave, I found wisdom. For it was there that this atheist, who was convinced of his own wisdom, searched into the reasons why others had faith that went beyond the grave, and unearthed the truth of God who never abandons us.

Herein is a testimony to God’s unfailing fidelity and an account of His presence in all things that bear the mark of His glory in both life and death.

Herein are also phrases of farewell, and the truths of life and death that have been made clear by the time-honored tradition of acknowledging and celebrating them both-the funeral. And finally, here is the ministry of a man who is forever grateful to know God, and be in a profession in which to honor Him.

God will make Himself known to all of us at some point in our lives at a time that suits His purpose. As an atheist, I never expected to meet God. And of all the places I could have ever imagined that we might one day meet, I never would have imagined it would be at the grave.

Every funeral by itself is a lesson and celebration of life, our way to respect and understand death, and the way each can find peace in the final resting places of the heart. Each one offers a sermon, a message of faith, hope, and wisdom.

As God as my witness, the world as my chapel, and the grave as my pulpit; I give God all the glory.

Carl M. Pauc

Green Bay, WI

September 1, 2017

I

Exile

"Your word is a lamp to my feet, and a light for my path"

Psalm 119:105

"Seeking to forget makes exile all the longer;

the secret of redemption lies in remembrance."

Richard Von Weiszaecker

Why?

One of the commonly asked questions I’ll hear from families is Why? when it comes to the need to understand suffering and death. This question alone remains the fundamental basis for just about any topic. Suffering and death have been the subject of deep rumination of philosophers; the muse of poets; and the sad language of a good part of history. And for all the study, research, meditation, and wonder, the reason why we suffer remains elusive until we consider the possibility of its purpose.

One thing is certain. God has given us life, and that life has been given a purpose. Another truth is we will all become a casualty in this world for having been given a life. And even so, life is no less a gift because we will die, but becomes the opportunity we should embrace to do as much good with it and maintain our purpose.

Now if that were all true, why do we suffer? Why is there the death of children if we are all given purpose? Why all the misery and confusion in life? And why does God not do anything about it?

If God would come to our rescue every time we were faced with the threat of death, doom or the Devil, we would not appreciate Him. We would become His spoiled little children only needing Him when we want something and thanking Him when we receive it. We would not know Him as God; almighty and omnipresent. We would never pursue Him, as He does us. Faith is a relationship of trust. We can trust in God to be there when we call on Him and have faith that He will respond to our need.

Most of the suffering we have in the world is man-made. God has given us the freedom to make choices in this life, and God is not responsible for the world’s bad choice in refusing to follow His leadership.

Whether we have good or bad experiences in this life, they are experience. Those experiences are for us God’s way to develop us by the school of hard knocks. The harder the lesson, the better it sticks. And to be sure we are focused on the Teacher, God will put us in a position that directs our full attention on Him. In our lifetime God will remove us from our illusions of safety and put us in a place where we can learn and grow. What is this place called? It is called exile.

What is exile? It is the forced or voluntary separation from a place we call home. Home may be the place, community, or society we live in. It can also be our safe havens, escape routes, comfort zones, a state of denial, or anywhere we think we are safe, we are always correct, and in no need of God. These too are man-made false senses of security that lead to an unrealistic view of the world and an unproductive life. And when suffering comes it only serves to exasperate the fact that we are not with God. Sometimes we must get lost to find God.

God removes us from such places to redirect our focus on Him. God does not abandon. Exile for us is God’s way of strengthening our character and dependence on Him. God does not destroy. He cultivates and refines us to help us remember the reason why He made us-for purpose.

The Israelites were in exile in Egypt before Moses led them out. They also wandered in the wilderness for forty years until they were prepared to enter the Promised Land. And Jesus fasted in the wilderness for forty days and fended off the tempting snares of Satan to complete a rite of passage before He entered His ministry. In every case, it was exile that was used to test, refine, strengthen, absolve, and finally lead the way on the path to God and out of the wilderness of this life.

As written in James 1:12:

"But blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because,