90-Day Fiancé: Bittersweet Memories
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About this ebook
A look into the 90-Day-Fiancé visa challenge taken by Dantes & Aileen. Get an inside look at the process and avoid the pitfalls. Share the happy moments, but most of all the sorrow that lead to a most bitter outcome!
A MUST read if you have plans to marry your non-immigrant Fiancé. Also find out how the process works and the forms you'll need that would allow you to do everything yourself.
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90-Day Fiancé - Dantes Joseph
INTRODUCTION
The purpose of this book is to share a very personal experience with the 90-day fiancé visa offered in the United States (U.S.). The program allows non-immigrants to temporarily come to the U.S. for a period of 90 days to marry their citizen fiancé. After the marriage, the foreign spouse can apply for adjustment of status and receive a conditional two-year green card. Conditional, because they have to prove that the marriage was genuine. If the couple is still together after two years, they must follow up with an interview at the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS). If all goes well, the spouse can now receive a green card valid for ten years.
To protect identities, I’ll only be using the first or nicknames of the people involved. Throughout the book, I’ll provide information about the visa process. But the focus, is not about the process; it’s on the bittersweet experience Aileen and I went through. The relationship with the woman I married had some good memories. But it also had considerable challenges that I think are worth sharing.
For Your Information: In this book, the word Fiancé with a single (é) refers to either male or female. All currency is in U.S. dollars. And the colored phrases throughout the book, highlight all the reasons that eventually lead to the bitter part of this story.
CHAPTER 1: SWEET MEETING
Filipino Cupid
You may already be familiar with the site filipinocupid. This is where Aileen and I first met. I’ve been divorced since early 1994 and have had some casual relationships. I was browsing the site, as I tend to find Filipino women attractive with a culture similar to mine. American women, in my view, are more liberated. Being in the U.S. can make them lose sight of their blessings. I was looking for someone conservative with old-fashion values. I was born in Haiti and came to the U.S. at the age of eleven. I’m a naturalized citizen who grew up in upstate New York and New Jersey. When I met Aileen online I was 53 and she was 45.
We began to chat on August 11th 2015. At that time, she seemed to have a low self esteem about some of her physical features. For that she tried to avoid video chats. But once we did have a video chat on Facebook, I thought she was attractive. Of course on camera it’s not always easy to fully analyze a person. But I found that in addition to her posture, she had a sense of humor. I also liked her personality. She seemed to understand me and was attracted to me as well.
We’ve had some light arguments as we were getting to know each other. One night I was angry about something she said or did. And after some remarks I ended the conversation. But she was resilient and kept calling back. I picked up once, but it was late and I told her I wanted to get some sleep. I woke up in the middle of the night and she was still calling. I thought it was a bit strange and flattering at the same time. To me, it was unusual that someone would spend a good part of the night by the phone wanting to make up. But despite the occasional spats we continued to chat almost on a daily basis. I was impressed how good of a dancer Aileen is. We had some good times as we listened to songs and danced together on video. We continued chatting for about six months.
Off To The Philippines
In order to begin the fiancé visa, the law requires for the couple to have met in person within a two-year period, prior to the petition. And since Aileen had never step foot in the U.S., you guessed it! I had to find the time and money to be with her in the Philippines.
Before the trip, I thought about the moments when Aileen would show a bitter side of her. Sometimes it would be a jealous reaction to a couple of Filipino women I was chatting with before AND during my chats with her. On Facebook, if another Filipina liked or commented on my pictures, Aileen would post comments like He is MY boyfriend!
I would either remove her comments or she would later delete them. I began to pick up on her jealousy and mentioned it to a couple of her friends as I hesitated to continue chatting with her. I told them that Aileen is napaka-selosa; Tagalog for very Jealous.
While Aileen would admit her jealousy, she claimed it’s because she really loves me.
I had made arrangements for the trip, but towards the end I got cold feet. So without telling her, I cancelled the plane and hotel reservation. The cancellation cost me about $500. But Even though I realized that going there could be a mistake, I also thought it was unfair to her. I was looking forward to the trip and said to myself worst-case scenario
I’d make a vacation out of it. One of my sisters reminded me that I needed a getaway. So in a chat later that day, I told Aileen I was having second thoughts and had canceled the trip. Of course, she was hurt and began to cry. Seeing it was a mistake, I became a bit emotional and apologized. I thought spending time with her could be refreshing, after all.
I asked her not to give up on me and started looking for another flight. I wanted to make the most of the trip by traveling on Emirates Airlines even though I knew it was more expensive. Lucky for me, I found another bargain, on Emirates where the round-trip ticket was $1,300. About an extra $200 from the first reservation, but still cheaper than its regular flights. A typical round-trip flight on Emirates to the Philippines could cost over $2,000. You can also find some good deals if you book the reservation online.
On January 21, 2016 I embarked on that long journey to meet my potential future wife😊. I flew on JetBlue for about three hours from Florida to New York. From there, I got on Emirates for about a 12-hour flight to Dubai. From Dubai, I got on another Emirates flight that got me to Manila close to eight hours later. It was a looong flight! Halfway around the world to be exact. I also had to deal with