Jesus Wept: A Psychospiritual Handbook of Death, Grief, and Bereavement Counseling for Eastern Orthodox Clergy
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About this ebook
Author Gregory P. Wynot, Sr. focuses on the especially traumatic circumstances connected with the death of a family member or loved one and details the stages of dying and the grieving process. He also discusses how to diagnose and categorize different kinds of grief as well as how best to approach specific situations. Finally, Wynot looks at the impact of bereavement counseling on the counselor, who must find a delicate balance between being a "spiritual father" and psychological "caregiver". Also included are resource appendices and a bibliography for further reading.
Jesus Wept is an invaluable resource that can ease the burden of what is certainly one of the most challenging tasks any counselor is called upon to perform.
Gregory P. Wynot, Sr.
Dr. Gregory P. Wynot, Sr. has received graduate degrees in psychology and theology and has numerous certificates of training. He currently serves as the clinical director of a prominent private practice in Atlanta, Georgia.
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Jesus Wept - Gregory P. Wynot, Sr.
Contents
PREFACE
1
2
3
4
5
APPENDICES
WYNOT ASSESSMENT OF GRIEF
BIBLIOTHERAPY—RECOMMENDED READING FOR SURVIVORS
ADDRESS RESOURCES FOR CLERGY, COUNSELORS, & SURVIVORS
TOLL-FREE NUMBERS FOR CLERGY, COUNSELORS, & SURVIVORS
SCRIPTURE RESOURCES
Bibliography
This book is dedicated to my infant son; Gregory Peter
Wynot, Jr. whose life, love, andjoy are constant reminders ofGod’s many Blessings and His infinite Love. Pete, your anticipated arrival made my days at Have House Hospice brighter, and my love ofthe Lord stronger. Now that you have arrived, Ienjoy every momentyou are in my life. Iloveyou and thank youfor all you have given me!
PREFACE
One of the less formal, but arguably most important, functions of parish ministry entails providing counseling to parishioners in need of a sympathetic hearing and understanding advice from someone with whom they have a personal relationship and in whom they trust. Of course, trained mental health professionals offer therapy to their patients in a structured setting, but the counselor-patient relationship by necessity possesses a formal nature. However, there are occasions when an individual feels that a more informal, less impersonal approach is necessary; in these circumstances the person, provided that he/she is a religious believer, would naturally turn to a clergyman for assistance, be he a priest, pastor, rabbi, or imam.
Within the past several years, this aspect of pastoral duties has become more important than ever. A recent article in the Wall Street Journal (July 3, 2003) entitled For the Clergy, Flock’s Troubles Become Their Own
points out that As the stigma of seeking psychological help has faded, counseling on real-world problems has become a bigger part of the clerical job…For manyAmericans, a priest, pastor, rabbi, or imam is the natural first stop to discuss problems.
Although often economic concerns enter the picture—a professional therapist might charge upwards of $200.00 per hour, while clerical counseling is offered free—the Journal notes that even those who can afford the payments will still shy away from formal therapy for fear of being seen as troubled,
whereas a clergy member can seem less threatening.
With concerns about a faltering economy, war and terrorism occupying more attention than ever, clerics have faced even more demand for help with life’s struggles…to the point that they are overwhelmed.
Add to this general situation the fact that few if any parish priests have received professional training in proper mental health diagnostic techniques and counseling approaches, and the need for some type of qualified guidance becomes painfully clear.
Given this exponential increase in overall stress, it is understandable that the traditional traumatic developments in one’s personal life have an even greater impact on the physical as well as mental and emotional well-being. Nowhere is this more apparent than when confronting the death of a person close to an individual, be it that of a family member, close friend, or workplace colleague.
Whether it is sudden and unexpected, the result of a fatal accident, or comes at the end of a long, lingering illness, death leaves the survivors with an array of conflicting emotions that require therapeutic healing under the best of circumstances. Indeed, as prominent Orthodox leader Metropolitan Anthony of Sourozh recently wrote, We meet death in our lives, first of all, not as a subject on which we reflect—although this does happen—but mainly as a result of bereavement, either our own or someone else’s. It is this vicarious experience of death that serves as a background for us to reflect afterwards on the certainty of our own death, and on the way in which we relate to it
(Sourozh, 2002). Clearly, with all the current uncertainties in daily life, the need for effective bereavement counseling
is more pressing than ever.
As a qualified trained mental health professional with considerable background in dealing with bereavement issues, as well as graduate degrees in both Psychology and Theology, and numerous post-graduate certificates, I recognized the urgency of the situation. I have drawn upon my own personal experiences in the field, along with the research of others on the subject of death, dying, and bereavement,
to produce this guide for Eastern Orthodox Clergy. While it contains suggestions that can be applied by clergy from any Christian denomination, it approaches the topic from an Orthodox perspective. Chapter One provides theological and doctrinal foundations of the Orthodox view of death, which the priest can use for his own orientation and pass along to the bereaved as a means of placing the deceased’s passing into proper spiritual context. In this regard, it also discusses the psychological and functional, as well as spiritual, aspects of the Orthodox funeral services. Chapter Two focuses on the especially traumatic circumstances connected with the death of a family member or loved one, and contains information from both the stages
of dying and of the actual grieving process. This section will assist the priest in counseling the bereaved by explaining to the latter what the recently deceased has passed through, and what the survivors can experience as they mourn their loved one.
Both of these chapters have a specific Orthodox context, whereas the next two describe the various techniques endorsed by the appropriate mental health professionals for bereavement counseling. Chapter Three contains information on diagnosing and categorizing varieties of grief, as well as choosing the proper approaches to utilize in specific situations. Chapter Four looks at the impact of bereavement counseling on the priest himself, who must straddle a fine line between spiritual father
and psychological care giver,
while the final chapter offers concluding thoughts. I have also included useful resource bases in a series of appendices, as well as a bibliography for further reading. The end result is a source book that should ease the burden of what is certainly one of the most challenging tasks any counselor is called upon to form, and which