The Way of the 4Th Toe: Into the Feeling Body

Contents

Preface

Chapter 1

Destiny and What-If

Chapter 2

Birth and Adolescence

Chapter 3

The Teen Years

Chapter 4

Military Life

Chapter 5

College Days

Chapter 6

Married Life

Chapter 7

Career

Chapter 8

Retirement

Chapter 9

Characters Encountered along the Way

Chapter 10

Life on the Go

Chapter 11

The Greatest Trip So Far

Chapter 12

Life Goes On

Chapter 13

How Destiny Guided the Lives of Famous People

Chapter 14

In Retrospect

Epilogue

To all my fellow travelers

on this incredible journey through life

Preface

What could possess a happily retired former electrical engineer to undertake the arduous and time-consuming task of writing a book? My career as an engineer involved writing on a daily basis, but the writing always involved technical reports and jargon. The only possibly creative writing I undertook was doing the monthly progress reports, particularly following a month during which, due to consequences beyond my control, little if any progress had been made. Among the highlights in my career were the publication and presentation of four technical papers at international conferences and symposia. One of these papers was the 1987 winner of the prestigious P. K. McElroy Award. So I repeat, why undertake writing a book?

A couple of years ago, our eldest grandson decided to marry the girl of his dreams. A month before the wedding, I was asked to speak at the ceremony, and I gladly accepted the opportunity. In mulling around several ideas on what to say at the wedding, I decided that an appropriate subject might be to explore what brought these two young people together at this time and place in their lives. Conner was from Vermont, and his fiancée, Laurie, was from Virginia. They went to the same university in Rhode Island but actually met in Rome, Italy, where Conner was spending his senior year and Laurie was spending her junior year. As I thought about the many things that led up to their meeting, I began to think about the what-ifs. What if either of them had decided to go to a different school? What if Laurie had waited until her senior year to go to Rome? I worked on this idea and made copious notes in preparation for my wedding speech.

A week before the wedding, e-mail arrived from the soon-to-be bride and groom. It contained a copy of the Robert Frost poem Mighty Speed. It also contained a note asking me to read the enclosed poem as my part in their wedding. Instead of discarding the notes I had prepared for my wedding speech, I decided to expand on the idea, and the result formed the basis for this book.

This book is partly autobiographical as a way of illustrating the ideas put forth, and it is mostly true, with a few minor embellishments along the way. As they used to say in the introduction to a popular TV show, only the names have been changed to protect the innocent. It is part travelogue in that it contains descriptions of some of the fascinating places that Destiny has led my family and me to visit and enjoy. The lives of famous and historical people are included in an attempt to show how Destiny led them to reach their places in history. I hope that as you read this book, you will consider your own life and where Destiny has led you, and I hope you will pause frequently to contemplate the what-ifs along the way.

Chapter 1

Destiny and What-If

According to Shakespeare, All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players: They have their exits and their entrances; and one man in his time plays many parts … But who writes the script for our decisions and our lives, and who directs the show? Do you honestly think you control your life, planning and carrying out every idea and decision? Could it be that a universal control determines how our lives evolve, putting us in the time and place where we are at this instant?

Life is a continuing series of decisions and consequences. There are decisions that we make ourselves and decisions that other individuals, groups, or organizations make for us. The consequences of this series of decisions constitute the lives we live and have brought us to this exact moment. What has led you to your present location, position, and status? For example, if you are married, did you make a decision at a very young age that at a future time you would just happen to be at a specific location and time where you would meet your future spouse (who also just happened to be at the same location at the same time)? The fact that the two of you met is the result of many decisions and consequences, some of which may have been major decisions, but most of which were small, insignificant, day-to-day decisions. The story of your life and mine is the result of all the decisions, consequences, and events that occur continually, starting the day we were born.

What is the controlling function that molds our lives and brings us to this point? It’s Destiny. Destiny is that hard-to-define mystical force that weaves our lives together. It is the master or universal control that makes us what we are at any given instant, and there is only one master control for the entire universe. Some people define Destiny as the master plan of a Supreme Being. The American Heritage College Dictionary defines Destiny as the preordained or inevitable course of events considered as something beyond the power or control of man. However you choose to define Destiny, or whatever name you give it, it exists.

Although we continue to make decisions every day, Destiny guides and leads the decisions we make—however insignificant or earth shattering. Every decision we make is part of the overall plan for the universe and is governed by the master control, Destiny. Not all of the decisions we are led to make are good. If they were, we would live in a utopian world where everything is always perfect. Destiny sometimes leads us to make bad decisions as well as good.

Destiny is the result of decisions, and at the same time, it causes these decisions to be made. Even the mundane decisions of what you wear at a given time are part of your Destiny. For example, the shoes you are wearing resulted from a number of decisions. Where did you buy these shoes? How did you choose the color? Why did you buy this pair as opposed to hundreds of alternatives? The result of these and other decisions led you to wear this particular pair of shoes at this specific time.

For years, theologians and laypersons have discussed and sometimes argued the doctrine of predestination, which the dictionary defines as the doctrine that God has foreordained all things. In other words, your entire life was planned before you were even born. Many discussions and arguments of this doctrine ultimately end up focusing on the end of life and the life hereafter.

Destiny can be described as the master plan for your life. Destiny is in constant control of your life and the decisions, events, and consequences of all of these decisions, however large or small. Destiny leads you to be who you are, where you are, and the type of person you are at any given instant in your life.

Destiny leads everyone through life differently. Like snowflakes, no two people are the same and follow exactly the same plan through life. The myriad of daily decisions, events, and consequences are individually unique. People are not stamped out on a giant press in a repetitious manner. We are not molded or formed with a huge cookie cutter. Destiny treats us all like individual entities. Small, insignificant, common decisions along the way may appear to be the same for several people, but overall, even for a short period of time, you are who and what you are—and nobody else is. What if we were all the same and every decision or event was the same for everyone? Wouldn’t this be a dull world? Destiny makes life much more interesting.

My brother, Harry, is an interesting example of how Destiny leads a person through the various stages of life. Harry was a typical American boy, mischievous at times but a good kid who respected his parents and understood authority and discipline. He was strong and athletic. Although Harry never appeared to be overweight, his capacity for consuming food was legendary. His one drawback was a slight speech impediment that caused him to stutter. This did not prevent him from having many friends.

Harry was not academically inclined. He was much more sports minded. His grades through high school were always adequate, but he did not achieve his real potential until later. School was not one of Harry’s favorite pastimes, and he played hooky on several occasions. Unfortunately for Harry, every time he took an afternoon off, Mom would be waiting at the door with her arms folded when he got home. She had developed an amazing communications system that alerted her whenever Harry was not in school when he should have been.

Shortly after graduating from high school, Harry was drafted into the US Army. It was the middle of World War II, and he and others his age were all subjected to the draft. During a physical examination at the army induction center, they found that Harry had a preexisting hernia condition, disqualifying him from serving in the military. Harry was determined to serve along with his friends, and he argued until they accepted him. What if he had not argued and simply accepted the fact that he was physically not qualified to serve in the army? How would his life have been different? Destiny led him to serve with his friends.

The army sent Harry to Fort Worth, Texas, for basic training. A week before he completed basic training, he was hospitalized for surgery to repair his hernia. As a result, he could not graduate with his training unit. His original training unit was sent to Germany and suffered a high rate of combat casualties. What if Harry had completed basic training with his unit and been deployed with them? Would he have been a casualty? Destiny led him instead to have surgery and afterward repeat most of his training before he was sent to Germany. Although Harry never talked about that part of his life, he was involved in heavy combat. Destiny eventually led him home safely.

After some brief time off to relax, Harry started a job at one of the local paper mills. After working a couple of months, he came home one day, placed his dinner bucket on the kitchen table, and announced that he had quit his job and was going to enroll at Western Michigan University. Harry graduated from WMU four years later, went on to attend Western Theological Seminary, and became an ordained minister of the Reformed Church in America.

Destiny led Harry and his wife, Joy, to serve churches in Kentucky, Michigan, New York, South Dakota, Kansas, and Alabama. Harry’s life ended far too soon due to a massive heart attack while playing golf with his son. Harry’s chosen profession was not one that many people—certainly not some of his high school teachers—would have predicted when he was young. Destiny sometimes works in mysterious ways!

Destiny does not always lead us to make good decisions, and although Destiny controls our lives, we cannot use it as an excuse for poor performance or bad behavior. When humans commit crimes, these actions are part of the universal plan for the universe, but the people who commit crimes must be held accountable. A crime is not excusable because a perpetrator claims that Destiny made him do it. Some court cases have ended with surprising verdicts, but no one has ever been acquitted of committing a crime because he or she pled Not guilty; Destiny led me to commit the crime. We cannot hold Destiny accountable for our actions, nor can we blame it for our failures.

Not everyone can be at the top of the ladder in one’s chosen profession. We cannot all be CEOs of large corporations. Perhaps predestination plays a role in the way that Destiny leads us through life. In any case, Destiny leads all of us to our own statuses, locations, and positions in life. It leads some to excel and others to struggle through life.

Destiny controls the results of our decisions and events, and we cannot challenge it, alter it, or reverse it. However, in retrospect, we can play an amusing game called what-if, which can be particularly fun to play as we get older. You can ask yourself the following: What if I had done this or made this decision instead of the one I did? What if the climate or world affairs had been different at a particular point in my life? What would Destiny have led me into if things had been different?

To play the what-if game, simply think about a specific event in your past. For example, suppose you moved to another state. What if you hadn’t moved or hadn’t moved to that particular state at that specific time? Your life would have taken a much different turn. The friends you have met since the move would have been different, and your life in general would have followed a different path.

The sports world is full of opportunities to play what-if. Games are a continuous string of decisions, circumstances, and events. Game officials on the field, on the diamond, and on the court make instant decisions controlled by Destiny, and in the end, one of the competitors is destined to be the winner and the other is destined to be the loser. Often the result hinges on a couple of plays that could have made a difference. For example, in the last few seconds of a closely fought football game, controversy over a pass that appeared to be caught in the end zone was ruled incomplete. The outcome of the game depended on the ruling. Team A, the defensive team on the play, won the game. What if the last-second pass had been ruled a completion? Team B would then have won. In this case, Destiny deemed Team A as the winner.

Professional football and some college football conferences have adopted instant replay. Other sports may also adopt this concept. Critical decisions can be reviewed thanks to modern television recording procedures, and the outcomes can be changed. This merely causes a slight delay in the final decision, the same as if the officials held a lengthy discussion before making the initial ruling. In life, we do not have the convenience of a review or instant replay. If Destiny allowed us to challenge and have instant replay, some people would spend a large portion of their lives in the replay mode.

In a baseball game, the score was three to two, with two outs in the bottom of the ninth inning, and the home team had a runner on second base. The batter hit a single, and the runner on second attempted to score. The throw to the plate was accurate, and in a very close play, the runner was ruled out. But what if the catcher had not held on to the ball? The game would be tied, and the home team would still have a chance to win. Destiny cannot be challenged. Once the play is complete it cannot be done over with possibly a different result.

We can use a brief description of the life of Louie Armstrong to illustrate the way Destiny guides one’s life and creates opportunities to contemplate what-if.

Louis Daniel Armstrong, who preferred to be called Louie Armstrong, was born in 1901. He was born into a poor family in New Orleans, Louisiana, and raised in a rough neighborhood. His father abandoned the family when Louis was an infant. His mother became a prostitute and left Louis and his younger sister with their grandmother. At the age of five, Louis moved back to live with his mother.

The young Louis attended the Fisk School for Boys. He earned money as a paperboy and by finding discarded food and selling it to restaurants. He also hauled coal to the red-light district and listened to the bands playing in the brothels and