See Me for Who I Am
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About this ebook
Many African American women have had experiences of being stereotyped or judged based on the preconceived notions of service providers. Because of the assumptions of the provider, a service or product that is available is not accepted or accessed. This book seeks to show through the experience of a survivor, how it feels to be in need of a service yet unable to attain it. This book is about being able to walk side by side with survivors of color. The goal is to reduce the barriers faced by women of color by providing a framework for understanding the role of culture in domestic and sexual violence.
"Chree Thomas is deeply committed and passionate to end violence against women. She is a true advocate who really gets the human rights quality of empowerment advocacy."
Paula Callen, MCADSV Director of Program Services and Building the Safety Net Project
"It is far beyond the time that women of color have our voices heard around the service provision and understanding of our issues regarding domestic and sexual violence. Chree Thomas has a clear vision and innovative ideas for women of color leadership in this work. I know this book will serve as a guide to those of us who continue to advocate for women of color who have had to manage, navigate and process the pain of being assaulted and will prove to have solutions to how women of color can heal.
Kalimah Johnson, LMSW, LCSW
Assistant Professor
Marygrove College, Detroit
Chéree L. Thomas
Longtime activist, educator and advocate, Chree Thomas has tirelessly channeled her passions and talents towards understanding and eliminating social injustices. Her work to end racism, sexism, classism,ongoing efforts to create allies, educate service providers and community members, and advocate for survivors of violence. Ms. Thomas wears her passion on her sleeve and does not hesitate to speak her mind, even in the face of great adversity. We are very fortunate to have such a strong and committed voice in the movement to eradicate violence and oppression in our homes and communities. --Holly Rosen, Director, Michigan State University Safe Place
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Book preview
See Me for Who I Am - Chéree L. Thomas
Contents
Introduction
Culture
Get Over It
A Mothers Grief at Innocence Lost
Counseling Session
for Jeanette’s Daughter
Jeanette’s Story
Perceptions of CPS
Why Am I Engaged In This Work
Empathy and Compassion
Sexual Violence
Domestic Violence
Self Image
Frequently Asked Questions
Information and Resources
Acknowledgements
About the Author
Introduction
This book is intended to be utilized as a guide in the provision of services to the people of color who take the risk and ask for help. There is an emphasis on domestic and sexual violence services although; it is relevant to all service providers. The writing of this book was inspired by the many survivors of color who left agencies with a feeling of despair. In an effort to alleviate the feeling of hopelessness faced by those women, Jeanette has courageously shared her encounter with us.
Jeanette and other survivors of color have repeatedly stated that the one size fits all
approach is rarely as beneficial as the service provider intends it to be. While services are rendered to the best of the ability of the provider, it is without regard to the person’s culture. A disregard for culture portrays the service as inadequate. The person is only treated as a domestic and/or sexual violence case. Domestic and/or sexual violence is something that has happened to a person and not the definer. Ignoring this fact leads to many survivors of color to deal with trying to heal on their own.
This book seeks to eliminate some of the guessing on what to say, how to say it, or if you need to say anything at all. While this book cannot and does not try to cover every situation with every person of color, it will set the groundwork for working with people where they are. It will allow an appreciation for the culture that each individual brings when they walk into the door of a provider for services.
It is my intention to bridge the gap between the service provider and the person seeking services in a way that is mutually beneficial. The person seeking services will be able to receive the benefits in the way they were designed. I will share with you the journey of one woman who is a survivor of intimate partner violence and childhood sexual violence. She is now the parent of a child who is a sexual assault survivor.
Please keep in mind that each individual is unique and will bring an added dimension to the way they view themselves in their culture. It is my objective to share with you information that will be useful in every aspect of your life. None of us who are service providers live in a bubble, and are bound to come into contact with individuals whose cultural identity differs greatly from our own. Let us choose to embark on this journey for the benefit of ourselves and others.
In this book people of color are descendents of and those who self-identify as African/ African American/Black.
Culture
When we think of culture, we often limit ourselves with thought of skin color. This is both inaccurate and insulting to the person you are attempting to assist. Culture is simply the collective beliefs, values, etc. of a group of people. In other words, it is impossible to understand a person’s culture based solely upon appearance. There are many blends of ethnic groups so don’t be surprised when a person identifies as being in more than one.
A person’s ethnic group in many cases is the beginning of their identity and not the ending. Ethnicity is one of many aspects of culture. To understand a person and their culture, one must be willing to do the work of obtaining the necessary information. In addition, the person being served is given the opportunity to inform you of their cultural identity. Culture is something that can be shared with you. Therefore, it is important to be accepting of what the survivor has shared with you regarding their culture and the role it plays in their life. Allowing the survivor to share with you their view on their culture will open the door to building trust in the relationship.
In providing services, culture has to be a consideration. Cultural insensitivity is indicative of cultural ignorance and a lack of awareness. How can you know if you are being culturally insensitive? If you have a disregard for the beliefs and values of others who don’t share your belief system, you are probably exhibiting some cultural insensitivity. Your service provision does not allow room for there to be more than one way for the service to be provided.
For example, your religious practice calls for you to attend services on Sunday for an hour. Your client (in your shelter based organization) has requested to attend church all week until 11:00 p.m. You deny the request, stating curfew at 9:00 p.m. You also make the comment that you are certain that it does not take that much time for worship service. This action has alienated your client.
It is clear that you have allowed your bias to creep in and inhibit you from providing services that take into account another’s culture. Your decision was not based on the needs of the client, but on your own cultural belief. If you are seeking to have a homogenous environment, then that is the way to go. If you are seeking to provide a service in an environment that is welcoming, cultural considerations will take place.
Each work environment has a culture of its own. Not allowing for variance in the environment can cause stagnation and isolation of those who do not fit the mold. Does that mean that hiring