Ponderings: A Treatise on Personal Growth, Relationship and Spiritual Awareness

Dedication

To my children, Nick, Doug, Dori, Tony, Jeanne-Marie and Christine.

They are all my teachers. They are beautiful, spiritual human beings, and they are my mission in life.

And

To my husband Warren Resen

whose tireless support has made this a better book.

He is my best friend, my partner, my love.

Table of Contents

Dedication

Acknowledgements

About The Author

A Note From The Author

SPECIAL NOTE

Part I

Personal Growth

Chapter 1

Love Yourself

Chapter 2

Confusion

Chapter 3

Surrender

Chapter 4

Who Are You, Really?

Chapter 5

How Much Are You Giving Away?

Chapter 6

Forgiveness

Chapter 7

Life Goes Full Circle

Chapter 8

An Experience Born of Trusting the Process

Part II

Relationship

Chapter 9

Marriage VS Living Together

Chapter 10

Tips on Living Together

Chapter 11

Marriage,

A Completion, A Beginning

Chapter 12

Coping Successfully with Divorce

Chapter 13

Change As a Result of Divorce

Part III

Spiritual Awareness

Chapter 14

New Age Mistique

Chapter 15

Primal Cause

Chapter 16

We Are One

Chapter 17

Humanity Still Struggles

Chapter 18

Clouds

Chapter 19

Death - An Element of Life

Chapter 20

Death, An Entree’ to Life

Chapter 21

The Lord’s Prayer

Chapter 22

The Power of the Word

Chapter 23

A Delicate Balance

Chapter 24

An Experience with Nature

on Paradise Island

Part IV

Poetry and Prose

Home

Take the Risk

Death

Out of the Darkness

Cycles

God Kissed the Earth

I Feel the Wings That Want to Fly

Morning Walk

Seasons of Love

Light & Love

The True Song of Your Life

A Moment of Union

Angel Meditation

Awakening

A Tribute to the Sweetest Love of my Life

Acknowledgements

Very special thanks to my husband Warren Resen

who has been ultimately supportive and of immeasurable help in editing this book.

Special thanks to George Shelly for the cover photograph.

About The Author

A native New Yorker, Jeanne O’Connor has six children, twelve grandchildren (so far), and two great grandchildren. She now lives in Florida and spends much of her time speaking, writing and traveling.

Ms. O’Connor has been a student of Metaphysics and Esoteric Science almost forty years. She has studied with Ram Dass, Jean Houston, Anthony Fisichella, Yogi Amrit Desai, Krishnamurti and Swami Satchidinanda. In addition Jeanne has studied with the Rosicrucian Order in California. She is a student of Transcendental Meditation; she has taken the basic and advanced courses with Life Spring and was an active participant in the Leadership 3 program in that connection

Jeanne and her late husband Anthony Fisichella founded the New Age Center in NY. Jeanne operated the book store and moderated self awareness workshops for women. She and Tony organized and ran the International Festival of Esoteric Science in Hempstead NY for two consecutive years. The event attracted over 3000 attendees to hear the eighty speakers who came from all over the globe.

She also edited and published the Peradam, a monthly news magazine for the Students of Esoteric Thought and is a regular contributor to Higher-ground Newsletter at Higher-ground.com.

Her poetry has been published in Awakenings, Iliad Press and Acclamations, Cader Publishing Ltd.

Her most recent publication is Rodney the Robot, iUniverse publishing: philosophy for children disguised as an amusing story.

Jeanne is an active member of Advanced Toastmasters of West Palm Beach, Sunset Speakers, International Women’s Writers Guild, Florida Speakers Association and serves in the U.S Coast Guard Auxiliary.

A Note From The Author

You are holding a collection of essays, thirty years in the making, born of spiritual and metaphysical insights into the normal everyday plagues of human consciousness and human experience. These essays will give a greater understanding of the most universally common dilemmas the human being faces in our time. By universal, I mean global, whether it be American, Australian, Indian, African, European, Near East or Far East. The human being we are talking about, the dilemmas we are talking about, and the insights we are talking about herein are universally beneficial.

As I struggled through my own growth and that of my children, I endeavored to utilize the principles of philosophy and metaphysics I have learned and learn still, to find a way to grow through them, and resolve the issues in our lives as a family.

The awareness that I gleaned is a result of studying the works of the great masters and philosophers of all time. When one of my children went through a problem it gave me food for thought and I wrote a brief thesis in order to clear my mind and share a new awakening with them.

This writing has been designed in a way that enables the reader to take in small snippets at a time. Each piece is complete within itself and not dependent on the previous dissertation.

Included in these pages are meditations which offer a seed thought applicable to the subject area of the essay. Also included for your convenience is a work book which will offer you a daily review of the opportunities you have had to increase spiritual awareness and personal growth.

I hope that this sharing will trigger within you some understanding of your current dilemma and give you motivation and direction with which to make your life fuller, happier, more creative and constructive.

I offer to share the thoughts within these pages with the hope that they will somehow add to the quality of your life and enhance your understanding of this very complex life we experience.

In addition you will find some poetry to warm your heart, to activate your mind, and to lift your spirits.

There are many works far more complex and complete than the one you hold in your hand. That complexity is sometimes problematic. It is my purpose to deal with the joys and trials of life in a simple manner that can be employed in our every day lives, in an every day fashion.

If this book is in your hand, you have an open mind and are willing to learn and grow. I hope I can be of service to that end.

Yours in light and love,

Jeanne O’Connor

SPECIAL NOTE

This writing is meant to appeal to a universal audience. Religions all over the world have their own references for that prime source, their own spiritual leader. It may be Buddha, Krishna, Allah, God, Jesus, Moses, Gayatri, Christ, Jehovah, or any number of other names.

Please be aware that although I refer to God frequently in some of the essays, I refer to a universal Godhood, the Primal Force, the Mover Unmoved, the Ultimate Abstraction, The One.

There is no specific reference to any particular religion. You may see quotes from the Bible, the Torah, or Buddhism or elsewhere. The focus herein is meant to be one of objectivity, universality and love. God seems to be the most universal so I have chosen that reference.

Part I

Personal Growth

Chapter 1

Love Yourself

Love is the primary motivating force that can make our lives a creative, constructive experience. Conversely, lack of love and the presence of fear and guilt can detract from our lives and make them a living hell. Loving one’s self is the first step toward spreading love in the world and being loveable. Yet it is surprising how many imperceptible ways we rob ourselves of our own love. The first step in loving ourselves is the awareness of when, and under what circumstances, we engage in guilt and fear instead of love. Let’s take a look.

Can a perfectly healthy body pick up a coin without first having the thought that prompts the muscles to do so? Do you get up from a chair without thinking about doing it?

First there is the thought. Then there is the action that follows. Think it through further. Ask yourself a few questions.

Would you expect to build a cabinet without first having the proper materials and tools? Would you try to operate a computer without a hard drive? Can there be water without hydrogen and oxygen? Or air to breathe without oxygen? Would you expect to bake a cake without having the necessary ingredients?

If you add all the correct ingredients the project becomes manifest. Let’s use the cake as an example. First you have to think of making the cake. Then you have to decide what kind of cake you want: white, chocolate, spice, or angel food. Finally, mix all the appropriate ingredients and allow enough time for it to bake and grow into the cake you want. If you want a vanilla cake and you use chocolate in the mix, you won’t get the cake you want. Why then do you expect it will be any different in how you build your life?

The finished cake you see is the mixture of the necessary ingredients, in a given combination, that make the cake manifest. It is the combination of ingredients that you bring to your life that makes manifest what your life looks like.

If you look around and find disharmony in your home, lack of sufficient income to take care of your needs, and siblings fighting for survival and identity, maybe you are trying to make a vanilla cake but you are using chocolate in the mix.

Dr. Gerald G. Jampolsky, in his book Love Is Letting Go Of Fear, (Celestial Arts, Berkley, CA), fosters the premise that our lives function on one of two trains of thought, either love or fear. If you function in love, harmony, and joy; mental, physical and spiritual fulfillment will manifest in your life. If you function in fear and guilt, you will experience discord, ill will, and dissatisfaction in your life.

In order to live in a loving environment you must learn to forgive yourself for what you consider to be past mistakes, ill treatment of your fellow man, and abuse of your body and mind, and then move on. If you forgive others for what you consider to be their transgressions, misuse of their talents, or their treatment of you, then it follows you need to forgive your own mistakes and inadequacies.

First of all let’s look at guilt. It is a rather useless emotion. There is no reason to harbor guilt if you learn from an experience. Move on and take your new enlightenment with you. The key words here of course are, If you learn. If you have actually learned and grown in awareness as a result of your experience, then there is no value what so ever in feeling guilty. If you feel guilty perhaps you had better examine your actions and motives and take a different route in the future.

One of your worst enemies, one that keeps you in a state of fear, is that once you have learned something from an incident in life, you look back and feel that you should have known better. If you knew better you would have reacted differently. None of us is able to do anything other than what we do at the time that we do it. If you could have done something else, you would have done it; so stop feeling guilty.

You are stunting your growth. Open the door of your mind and let the darkness out. Make room for the light to come in. Darkness and light cannot coexist. The minute light enters a room darkness ceases to exist. Throw away the shadows of your past mistakes. Forgive yourself for not being perfect and give yourself a chance to walk in the sunshine, smell the flowers, and enjoy a fresh breeze. I can hear your thoughts. ‘That sounds wonderful", you think, but how the heck do you do that?

First you must realize that you are not perfect. None of us are. We are here in what Gary Zukav calls Earth School, (Seat of the Soul, Simon & Shuster), in order to perfect our physical, emotional, mental and spiritual nature. Therefore if you are still a human being then there are things to be learned, and if there is still something yet to be learned, then you are not yet perfect. I don’t know anyone in this life who can measure up to the major spiritual leaders of the past. Even Gandhi, who was most humble, said he had a lot to learn.

Even if the lives of Buddha, Mohammad, Jesus, Moses, and other spiritual leaders are fictitious, the lessons to be gained from their teachings are still valuable. Jesus admittedly was not perfect and had not reached His potential. In John 14:12 He tells us, Truly, truly, I say unto you, he who believes in me will also do the works I do and greater works than these shall he do. He was still evolving and so are you. So forgive yourself for not being perfect and move on.

The next step is to regain love for yourself. During the first years of our lives, most of us live with love. We love to eat, to laugh, to cuddle and be cuddled. Life is wonderful. When we are wet we get dried. When we are hungry we get fed. We feel the warmth of other human bodies and the touch of love.

Then as we get older we hear How could you be so stupid? You should have known better. These and other such statements become a breeding ground for guilt, fear and insecurity. Multiply that by ten, twenty or thirty years of outer-imposed and self-imposed guilt for mistakes, and you can understand why, when you are in your thirties and forties, your life is riddled with fear, insecurity, guilt, dissatisfaction, and frustration. You may have concerns of lack of respect and love from your family, friends and coworkers. In addition, if you are so imbued with guilt and poor vision of what’s right and good, surely you begin to doubt your effectiveness as a parent.

Rather than looking at your life through the eyes of guilt and fear, start looking at it through the eyes of love. Love yourself for being willing to go through the pain of learning in order to grow physically, mentally, and spiritually. Love yourself for doing all the wonderful things that you do. Take a good look at your life.

Look at how you respond to need at your workplace or at your church, mosque, or synagogue. Look at how you offer help to a neighbor, friend, relative, or even a perfect stranger. Take inventory of what you do for your children. How do you help them in their schoolwork, their hobbies, and their emotional and psychological growth? Assess what you offer them in the way of guidance and support. If you are not happy with what you are doing in your life, if it is not working for you, change it. Find out what works.

My dear son Nick, who is no longer in the flesh, once told me that you can always tell if you are doing it right. He said, If you are doing it right, everything goes smoothly and harmoniously. If things aren’t going right, and you are in conflict, then you are doing something wrong. You can make your life work for you. You can make it harmonious and fulfilling.

You can only fill your life with love and harmony when you function from a place of love and understanding. The other prerequisite for a fruitful, happy life is to