Alien Love

Contents

Hello.

1  The Source

2 Identifying the Target

3 Identifying the Target (II)

4 Why Bother?

5 Waking Up

6 Receiving Love

7 Remaining in Christ

8 What’s Inside?

9 Opening the Gift

10 Love’s Temporary Demise

Farewell.

End Notes

For Barb, Rebecca, Matthew,

Nathaniel and Jeremy

. . . . because I do.

Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 601189. All rights reserved.

Other Scripture references are from the following sources:

Scripture quotations marked (ESV) are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version, copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

The Holy Bible, New International Version (NIV). Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Bible Publishers.

All word definitions are taken from Funk & Wagnalls: New College Standard Dictionary. Funk & Wagnalls Company, New York. © 1947

Unless otherwise indicated, the names of those involved in this book have been changed in order to protect their identity.

Hello.

What This Is (and Is Not)

Hello. My name is Kevin Abell. You probably gathered that after reading the name on the front cover. Before you dive into this book about love, there are some things that I would like to share with you. I want to do this in order to make sure that you aren’t being set up for disappointment. You might end up feeling let down regardless, but I can’t stand the thought of you continuing on in search of something that isn’t here.

I don’t know why you read books. Out of the few books that I have read, many seem to be little more than long essays. They are designed to reveal some grave injustice at work in the world and show us the way to address it. Some books are written as a call to arms or to advocate a course of action. Others are informative. This work is none of the above.

If you are looking at this for information, you will probably become disenchanted. To be completely forthcoming, this book is no more about love than my last book was about healing. My last book had the appearance of a book about healing, and that’s exactly how many people received it. At the heart of this work, as well as my last, is a signpost which is meant to move us towards Jesus.

What you are holding in your hands is this: a Journey. A journey is much different than an essay. An essay is written by someone who believes that they know enough about a topic in order to inform and convince you of their thesis. I beg you not to proceed in this way because I know how disappointing it can be when you purchase a product that doesn’t do what you thought it was supposed to do.

Before you read further, please address this question. Are you willing to set out on a journey? If you aren’t, if you are expecting this to go in a certain direction, either to the right or to the left, you won’t likely find what you are looking for.

On The Word Love Itself

Whether by design, or poor recognition, authentic love has become an elusive phenomenon. It is a word that we use to describe our affection for everything from ice cream to our boyfriend. It seems to be something that we both receive, as well as something that can be made. I don’t know how it got this way. Overall, love is a word which is unable to capture all that it was intended to describe. It carries with itself so much baggage that we really don’t know what to do with it.

Whenever a person speaks on love, it’s always difficult to know exactly what they mean. We tend to confuse it with human sexuality and romance. The word might refer to affection, and it is often used to describe acts of kindness.

I don’t know exactly who has the power to make up words, nor do I know who authenticates the decision. I do know that the word was destined for failure. If you are reading through the Bible, depending on whether you are reading through a text which has been written in Greek or Hebrew, there are approximately 20 different words for love that might form the foundation for what is written on the page before you.

Words meaning affection are often translated to read love. Words that imply self-sacrifice are also often translated into love. Likewise, the word love is also used to express benevolence. So the word love itself has been used to describe different facets of human life, to the point where we really have little sense of the intent of the one who uses it.

Generally speaking, there are three main ancient words which lie at the heart of what we would understand as being love.

ahab—affection

agape—selfless

phileo—friendship

The word thelo also deserves mention. It has to do with our will, our desire, and choosing to love. Other words which form the basis for love are associated with the love between a husband and wife, the love between family members, and even romance. Henceforth, it is my opinion that the word itself is unable to fulfill all of its literary obligations.

Since there are so many underlying meanings behind the word itself, please don’t expect me to hit the nail on the head. If you are looking for further definitions, you won’t find them in the pages which follow. If however, you are looking for Jesus, I hope that you walk away from the experience feeling that you’ve journeyed closer to Him.

1

The Source

How often do we consider the possibility, that those who oppose our choices, might actually care more for us than those who seem to approve?

It was the kind of mineral that dreams were made of, the sort of metal that would compel a man or woman to do crazy things. And why not? If you were fortunate to find enough of the stuff, it could change your life. It was the opportunity for a better life and if the newspapers were right, there was a whole lot of it, just waiting for someone to come by and pick it up. If there really was gold in them thar hills, think of the implications for the one who brought it all home. It wouldn’t be just a different life, it would be a better, grander life.

The year was 1897, and The Canadian Encyclopedia says that there were some 100,000 amateur gold seekers who started North that fall and winter[i]. Men and women left their friends and family. They cashed in their savings in the quest for a new, better and more prosperous life. In all, approximately $50,000,000 had been spent by these gold seekers by the summer of 1898. Sadly, that $50 million expended on travel, was roughly equal to the amount of gold that had actually been harvested since its discovery in 1896. The dream was barely worth the price of the ride to get there.

Only a handful of individuals fully realized the dreams that took them over land and sea. As fleeting an illusion as it might have been, it was an apparition based on reality—something tangible that seemed to be within reach. It was near enough to endure the hardship and worth the risk. Not many who set out for it even made it to their destination in the late 1800s. Scarcely any who made it there found what they were looking for and fewer still, since that time, have found it worthwhile to remain.

If you would permit me to be rather philosophical for a while, I might say something like this: Love is a lot like gold. For some, it seems to be a fleeting dream, a mirage drawing people to do crazy things in its pursuit. Many find an object that they believe to be love, only to be disappointed in the same way that thousands were disappointed in what they discovered in Dawson City in 1897. Love, as with gold, has its imitations. Some people might think that it’s nothing more than a grand illusion, although I’ll persist in saying that love is a matter of reality. Love is real and it’s within reach. If I’m right, then it must come from somewhere. Where do you go to find love? Where is the source? When you find it, how can you recognize it?

Two Alternatives:

I) Love Came From Nothing

Billions and billions of years ago, there was nothing. Really, there was nothing, and then all of a sudden, there was something. Don’t ask me how something came from nothing because I don’t know. It’s a story, ok? Billions of years ago, nothing happened. Then, after nothing happened, something happened. But since there was nothing, the something that happened was very small. It was so small, but in that tiny something was this little dot that exploded.

After this dot exploded, it eventually expanded to everything that exists today. So everything that is, came from nothing. Every material thing came from nothing. Every unseen thing (like love) came from nothing. All that we have is little more than a fleeting illusion. It is a dream where we have been set up for disappointment just like the thousands who met their ruin in Dawson City. In other words, any search for love is a search for nothing.

There are different theories where one might expect to find love. Matthew Sweet sings a song which addresses the very question, Where do you get love? I’m not sure what he believes, but I get the sense that he thinks this is all a meaningless quest, as if we’re floating through life with nothing solid to hold on to. I encourage you to find his song, Where You Get Love on YouTube.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jG1FSt9Tm-k

II) Love Came From Something

Billions and billions of years ago, there was Something. In fact, trillions and trillions of years before that, the same Something was there. This Something has always existed. About 6,000 years ago, this Something caused something to happen. Most, many, or several of you might not agree with the 6,000 year statement. I understand that. If you really want to know where I came up with that figure, I’ll take the time to share it with you. You don’t have to believe me. In fact, most people don’t. Anyway… .

There has always been this Something, and at this certain point in time, for some reason, this Something, decided to make something else. He accomplished this merely by commanding it to be done. The Something that always was, is God. The something that He made, is all that is. Nothing was made that was not made by Him.

When I say, God, it is important for you to understand which God I’m referring to. I’m referring specifically to YHWH God. I’m referring to the God of the Bible, the God of Abraham, of Isaac and of Israel. I’m referring to the God who sent His Son Jesus to die on the cross as the final and complete sacrifice for the forgiveness and remission of sins for all who would believe in Him. Here is a good summary of what I’ve tried to share with you thus far:

"In the beginning the Word already existed.

The Word was with God, and the Word was God. He existed in the beginning with God. God created everything through him, and nothing was created except through him. The Word gave life to everything that was created, and his life brought light to everyone. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness can never extinguish it." John 1:1-5

This is the God I’m talking about. He is the source of everything. Verse 3 says that God created everything through him, and nothing was created except through him. Jesus is the him, through which everything has been made. In other words, nothing exists that He did not make through Jesus. Nothing. If He made everything that exists, that would include both the things that we can see and the things that we cannot see. Things like love. If you’ll allow me to use a small sound byte from Scripture, God may even be more than merely the source of love. We read in 1John 4:8, ". . . God is love."

So when I say that love is among the unseen things which God has created, it is admittedly a stretch. YHWH God is in Himself both the very person and source of love. If you believe this, then you don’t believe that you are an accident. There is a reason why we are here, and it is more than chance. There is a God who chose to make us by His own word and imprint within us a desire for this true gold. So if God is love, then any talk about love would have to investigate the nature and character of God Himself.

Fool’s Gold

In the quest for gold, people often came across what became known as fool’s gold. Fool’s gold was the common title for a mineral named pyrite or iron pyrite. It had a metallic luster and was brassy yellow in appearance, which was enough to dupe some into thinking that it was gold. It was a cheap imitation of a valuable treasure. The same thing happens with love. Some things look like love, but they’re not. They are just cheap imposters of the real thing.

Fake love approves of all things. I haven’t done a survey or a study, but it seems like a common way of thinking in North American culture. It’s acceptable to talk about sin, as long as you aren’t using the word in the context for which it was intended. Many people consider it a sin to take a moral stand saying that something is wrong. Many who take a stand against something they know to be sinful, are often labeled as being hateful. Fake love says, I’m okay with whatever you choose to do. That kind of attitude is not genuinely loving.

The people in our lives who encourage us to pursue things which have the potential to ruin us come across as being our buddies. Why is that? I know a man named Bill. Last week, Bill went out for dinner with a schoolmate of his named Buddy. During their evening together, Buddy kept urging Bill to have a few alcoholic beverages. Buddy just wanted Bill to have a good time.

Buddy kept at Bill throughout their meal together, but Bill had the resolve to say, no. On the way home, Bill just happened upon a RIDE program. Bill is a young driver and in his province at his age, by law he is required to maintain a 0.0% blood alcohol level. In other words, if Bill had even one drink, he would have lost his driver’s license. Since Bill’s job requires that he possess a valid driver’s license, if Bill had listened to Buddy, not only would he have lost his driver’s permit, he would also be unemployed.

Is Buddy, really a buddy? Does Buddy really care about Bill? Buddy certainly comes across as being a buddy, but he really doesn’t have Bill’s best interest in mind. A true friend doesn’t tempt us to do the things which have the potential to destroy our career. It’s so sad that the Buddys of our lives come across as if they are our buddies. Being a Buddy is easy. Loving someone takes guts, the likes of which very few people possess, or even want to possess for that matter.

In contrast, the people in our lives who urge us to make good choices, tend to come across as being mean. Have you ever tried to tell someone to do the right thing? Have you ever pressed on someone to wage war against their sins? Some of you have challenged your loved ones to check themselves into rehab or to stop wasting their life’s savings at the casino. Those aren’t comfortable conversations. Are they? A friend challenges a friend to make right choices. It is much easier to be a Buddy than it is to actually love someone.

To be completely honest with you, I’m a Buddy to many of the people in my life. If you knew me in person and if you were to read this, you might walk away having the sense that the person writing this book sounds different than the friend who sits with you at the coffee shop. Truthfully, I’m not a very good friend. When given the choice between speaking truth or smiling at the things which concern me, I generally put on the smile. It’s not that I intentionally encourage anyone to sin, but I often remain silent when love would speak out. You may mistake my pleasant demeanor as an indicator that I’m a guy who cares, when in fact, I really don’t care enough to be inconvenienced.

How often do we consider the possibility, that those who oppose our choices, might actually care more for us than those who seem to approve? Do we know who our enemies actually are? We think our Buddies are the ones who love us, while the people who love us enough to address our depravity are perceived as being hateful. We mistake Buddys for friends and friends for Buddys. I’m told that the average North American male has ZERO authentic friends, but I guess that’s ok, because he has a lot of buddies. I suppose that makes up for it.

Consider what I’m saying in light of this passage found in Ezekiel.

"18 If I warn the wicked, saying, ‘You are under the penalty of death,’ but you fail to deliver the warning, they will die in their sins. And I will hold you responsible for their deaths. 19 If you warn them and they refuse to repent and keep on sinning, they will die in their sins. But you will have saved yourself because you obeyed me. 20 "If righteous people turn away from their righteous behaviour and ignore the obstacles I put in their way, they will die. And if you do not warn them, they will