Fearlessly Single: Diary of a Single Christian Woman
By Nathi Mhlaba
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About this ebook
Book Review: Fearlessly Single by Nathi Mhlaba
Society is bent on emphasizing the importance of relationships and marriage, so how can a single Christian woman cope in such a world?
Author Nathi Mhlaba has been through all of this, and it seems that she has the answers.
In her book Fearlessly Single: Diary of a Single Christian Woman, she explores the fact that women today are obsessed with getting into relationships and finding someone to marry. She also considers how difficult it is for a religious Christian woman to find an equally religious Christian man to marry.
Through anecdotes, Mhlaba explores how she went wrong in her own relationships, and her experience has given her the insight to advise other single Christian women about how they can resurrect their relationships with God. She postulates that it is more important for a single woman to discover themselves - be happy in themselves, on their own - and to become closer to God, and then the perfect relationship will follow.
Mhlaba has a sincere passion for her religion and for her newfound cause in life: to spread the word of God and encourage single women through the passages of her book, which are certain to be consoling to many of the South African women who continuously find themselves in bad relationships or feel without direction if they are alone.
She is at pains to urge Christian women to be comfortable in the now and to remember that God has a plan for everyone. They just need to have faith, and remember that being single is an opportunity for them to be themselves and a blessing from God.
Nathi Mhlaba
Called into women's ministry and single, Nathi Mhlaba understands the struggles that single women go through. She shares her experience with others and has been discipling women since university. She lives in Johannesburg, South Africa.
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Book preview
Fearlessly Single - Nathi Mhlaba
Contents
Foreword
Chapter 1
the fear of choosing the wrong mate
Chapter 1: application
Chapter 2
the men we would love to hate
Chapter 2: application
Chapter 3
forgetting the past
Chapter 3: application
Chapter 4
godly mate
Chapter 4: application:
Chapter 5
all the single ladies
Chapter 5: application
Afterword
References
To my family and all the single women
who are being faithful in their singleness.
"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction,
faithful in prayer" Rom 12:12.
Foreword
Single women look confident and solid when they walk and talk. They look like they have it all together and are on top of the world.
As single women we make other people think that we have it all together, while we cry ourselves to sleep every night and wish we had a person next to us warming our bed. We try to enjoy being single but deep down inside we know we would love to have a family of our own.
This reality comes to light when we see a couple walking hand in hand and looking happy. Something inside us rises up, and resentment takes its toll on our hearts. Outwardly we pretend to smile but inside we are saying cut it out. Not everyone wants to see how happy you are
. Yet another part of us says I wish that was me.
This is one of the struggles that we single women face while we wait for our happily ever after to come.
People always think that when we get saved and accept Jesus into our lives that everything that is not of God gets removed from us in an instant.
As Christians when we get saved we don’t get caught up into heaven and all the feelings and emotions we had before we got saved disappear. Most likely this is when we start battling with our feelings, and most of all, our worst fears.
Reading books on dating and marriage made me realized how insecure I have been. I have been running after men, doing what they want me to do out of fear that I might end up alone. It is so amazing how women normally give up their morals in order to conform to society or to live comfortable lives. I was so unhappy because I wanted what I didn’t have, which was a husband, and hating what I had, which was being single. James 4:1-2 says what causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You want something but don’t get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want . . .
It is so amazing how as single women we always want what we don’t have and despise what we have. We fight hard to be in a relationship that we forget the gift we have in being single. We take for granted the freedom that we still have as single women (this is something that I will discuss more in chapter 5).
The other issue that women need to deal with is that of conforming to what society wants; we conform to seem normal and fit in. The bible says in Romans 12:2 do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind . . .
. Every minute that we spend in the word of God renews us in the spirit of our mind, we get transformed in the way we live and see things. We are no longer of this world but belong to God, we have been bought with a price. We have to choose if we will live for the world or for God. We might still battle with the same things but we must know that God is our father and He has everything under control. God does not panic and think oh my word, Nathi is still single. I wonder what I am going to do
. No God knows the end from the beginning.
We sometimes get tempted to say that God has forgotten us. We look at our friends and notice that they have everything they need while we have nothing. God does not show favoritism
so we must not think that God loves others more than us. There is nothing that we can do to make God love us more or less. The mistakes that we make might make God a little disappointed in us but he will never take his love away from us. God, like any parent who loves his children, wants the best for us. A parent might be disappointed that you got pregnant at a very young age but will always love you.
I wish somebody told me about the love of God a long time ago because I always used to think God had people he loved more than others, that he would give them all the things they need and leave me behind. I learned throughout the years that those that God loves He chastises and those he wants to see growing he prunes. It is not about God loving others more but about purpose and growth. Run your own race and forget about comparing.
When it came to relationships I have been disappointed by the men I dated. I longed for a godly man to ask me out and marry me. I started dating a man who I thought was godly because I was desperate to get married. I was not sure if I really loved him but I went through with it anyway. I just wanted to finally settle down and stop looking around to see who I can date.
I was bitterly disappointed when the man turned out to be something I was not expecting. At first I tried to convince myself that I was happy but I was not. Where does one draw the line? When is it time to make a run for it? How does one know if he/she is making the right choice? Who is there to help determine